


Babysitting Grief

by uncreativerabbit



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Concerts, F/F, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Funfairs, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Just girlfriends comforting each other after traumatic experiences, Loss, Road Trips, Spoilers for 3x05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:55:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 132,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24139228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uncreativerabbit/pseuds/uncreativerabbit
Summary: [Spoilers for 3x05 - Mature until Chapter 21]Set after the events of 'Are you from Pinner?' Eve is stunned when Konstantin approaches her outside a pub on a dreary London day, frantically offering her the world in return for one last favour. Eve is reluctant until she realises that she is the only person in the world for the job. Sent on a road trip to distract the pair, she finds herself struggling through both her emotions and Villanelle's and learning about the why - why Villanelle is like she is, why she is drawn to her inexplicably, and why that bus moment actually happened.
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Niko Polastri, Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 474
Kudos: 1340





	1. Such animosity from you, Eve!

Once she had locked the door, Eve slumped against the wall and closed her eyes. She had hidden in the toilet of the pub; it was a pretentious, hipster pub that a round of drinks would cost you the best part of a hundred pounds and was served in old jam jars to look aesthetic. It was something picked by Niko’s colleagues for his wake, apparently a regular haunt of the Maths department after a stressful week of teaching. He quite liked the selection of craft beers and would indulge in a few pints of Camden Pale Ale, according to another teacher she had an awkward, brief conversation with before he bought her a drink and disappeared into the crowds. Another thing she did not know about her husband, usually he would be happy to share the mid-shelf wine that Eve brought home on a Friday. No wonder he would always seem more intoxicated than her.

Eve could not face going to the funeral. Niko’s family had chosen to have it in his hometown in Poland once his body had been released by the police. He was written off as a case of mistaken identity, his ‘killer’ given anonymity in the press due to supposed mental health issues. She knew this was bullshit, it was probably just another cover story from Polish government, clearly paid off by The Twelve to hide the fact that there was an undercover taking out anyone who knew about their star assassin.

The star assassin that she brawled with, kissed and then headbutted on a public London bus.

The murder of Niko was a message from The Twelve. It told Eve that she could never be safe as long as Villanelle knew she was alive. Or it was a message from Villanelle herself, the same message that she told her in Rome.

_ You’re mine. _ Those were Villanelle’s words to her. She was not wrong. Even while she lay on the cold stone of the ruins in Rome, bleeding out, Eve thought about her until unconsciousness took her. She toyed with calling out to Villanelle as she walked away but by the time she had made up her mind, her body gave up. Even while she was out for three days, all she dreamt about was her. Every bad thing that happened to her was followed by a curse to Villanelle’s name, every moment she thought about her life, she thought about how Villanelle had put her in these circumstances.

Then, she had the audacity to approach Eve on that bus. A cocky, disbelieving smirk. A casual greeting. Eve had thought she was dreaming again as she watched the familiar figure bounce up the stairs and walk towards her. She stopped thinking and had given into her animalistic impulses. She wanted to get at least one hit in, and Villanelle was kind enough to let her before manhandling her to the back of the bus with ease and striking her, too. Villanelle pinned her to the dirty seat, and asked her what she smelled of. She smelled intoxicating.

The kiss was only meant to be a distraction, to catch her off guard. Eve kept her eyes open to focus on Villanelle, to remove any romance from the kiss, it was purely mechanical to protect herself. She watched Villanelle’s eyes widen and then flutter shut for a few seconds, her chest heaving when they finally pulled away. It took all of Eve’s strength not to deepen the kiss, but her scar still burned as she was pressed onto her back, she was in public and she just could not bring herself to go through the stress of the chase again. Who would be Tom, and who would be Jerry?

Niko was her comfort blanket, her last connection to the safe reality before she joined Carolyn’s secret assassin team. He had taken pity on her when she was transported back to a London hospital, brought her a hospital bag and on fleeting visits, would occasionally bring her treats and magazines from WHSmith on his afternoon leave from the facility. He was her next of kin, he told her, they had contacted him once they managed to identify who she was. Tourists had found her in Rome after they had strayed off the main path. They rarely talked. He would go through in detail what he had bought for her and why he bought it, would sit for a few moments as she thanked him and would leave with just a sad smile and a small, quick squeeze of the hand. Once she was out of hospital, she visited him at the private clinic hoping for a reconciliation but all he asked for were divorce forms. He still loved her, he told her, but he needed to be away from anybody who was involved in the situation to be able to heal fully. 

Eve clung onto the idea that he just needed time, and once he began to respond to her texts, she planned her safe future again. A nice house in the cotswolds, normal jobs, maybe even some kids. Of course, that was a bitter lie, his phone had been stolen in a bar by someone who was probably bribed by Villanelle. She had watched it with her own eyes on the CCTV camera footage Bitter Pill managed to hack.

“Eve? Are you okay?” Somebody was knocking on her cubicle. Eve shook her head, finished her gin and tucked the glass behind the toilet. She did not want to seem like she was drinking alone. She flushed the toilet, picked up her bag and called out.

“Yeah, I’m fine - just coming now.”

Eve closed the door behind her and leaned on it. The person knocking was just one of Niko’s teacher friends - Eve did not really know anything about her - but she didn’t look convinced. She tilted her head to the side and gave Eve a small smile.

“I promise, I’m fine. Just a little, a little overwhelmed.”

“No worries, you’d just been gone for over twenty minutes. Come and meet me outside and I’ll treat you to a drink. I’m so, so sorry about Niko. I can imagine it’s hard, he was such a lovely person and really respected by the kids. We’ll miss him dearly.”

_ I watched the life drain out of his eyes. I brought him into the world that killed him.You have no idea how hard it is,  _ Eve wanted to scream, but she just gave a false smile and a nod.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

She followed Niko’s colleague out of the bathrooms and back into the pub. The turnout was lovely: there were teachers and support staff from his school, parents of children he had inspired, friends of the family who could not make it to Poland, everybody from the Bridge club and locals from the pub who he had befriended. Even Gemma’s parents were here, they had given an awful speech about how much Gemma idolised him and how a silver lining for them was that their ‘baby’ was not alone in heaven anymore. This was the line that sent Eve rushing to the bathrooms. She may have been unfaithful to her husband and the reason he now resided in a grave, but she could not bear the thought of him spending his supposed afterlife with that teacher cut from a bad Disney film.

“Ignore them, that was a right dickhead thing to say. Niko was your husband, she just fancied him a bit. They shouldn’t even be here.” The teacher who had fetched her out of the bathrooms put her hand on Eve’s shoulder. She was twirling her card in her hand as a bartender came to take her order.

“G&T, was it?” She asked Eve.

“Yes, yes please. I’m really sorry, what did you say your name was?”

“Oh, it’s Jacqui. Jacqueline Hayswood. We may have met at the party thing at the school, I’m the head of the Maths department.” They shook hands as pleasantries and Jacqui handed Eve the drink.

“I made it a double. Come on, let’s go for a ciggie. We seem to be the only smokers here.”

Eve would rather be at her own apartment right now, drinking cheap beer and crying over her wedding pictures. Anywhere but here would be better, but she wanted to be polite and not like a wife who was no longer really a wife and also really not holding it together. Jacqui seemed to be one of the more sympathetic party attendees compared to the Bridge club who managed a few awkward words and the other teachers who avoided her. She followed Jacqui outside, grabbing her coat off the back of the chair on her way to shield against the typical London rain.

Outside, Jacqui took a cigarette out of the packet and held it out to Eve. Eve had her own - another vice she had picked up since Rome - but they were expensive and she was running out of cash, so took Jacqui up on the kind offer. She coughed as she took the first drag. They were probably making her already weak body even weaker, but she enjoyed the solace they bought. Most people would not come near smokers unless they were already trapped in the habit and Eve appreciated the small breaks they would give her. She did not particularly care about living a full, healthy life anyway. She just wanted to get through what was left.

“Thank you. Um…” Eve paused. She had run out of stamina for small talk.

“You don’t have to talk to me. I just thought you needed an excuse for a breather.” Jacqui was not even looking at Eve, she was looking straight ahead at the building site opposite the pub.

“Oh. I appreciate it.” Eve was grateful for the silence. Her mind went back to the first time she met Kenny’s boss at his funeral, he was rude and disrespectful, probing her with all sorts of questions and opinions. Eve looked at Jacqui. She stood there with her arms folded, cigarette up to her lips. She stood strong, but would glance over at Eve from time to time, checking in on her. Eve imagined her as a powerful but kind teacher and wondered if she subdued her weak side until she was alone and could see that Eve was trying, too. She reminds Eve a little of Carolyn. Eve shook her head, not wanting to think about Carolyn at this moment. She wanted to forget everything associated with MI6 and The Twelve and just grieve for her husband.  _ The husband who would be alive if you hadn’t got involved with her, _ her brain quipped.

“That man is looking at you.” Jacqui broke the silence. Eve was looking at the ground but looked up at Jacqui. Jacqui nodded her head towards the person in question and Eve saw a familiar grey-haired, ominous looking man looking over at them. She downed her drink, stamped out her cigarette and walked closer to Konstantin, who was leaning against the gate of the building site.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Jacqui extinguished her cigarette in the water filled bucket at the entrance of the pub and went back inside.

“Eve! It’s been a while.” Konstantin held out his hand towards Eve as a polite gesture. Eve looked at it and glared at Konstantin. He retracted his hand and laughed.

“Such animosity from you, Eve! May I come in? I’ll buy you a drink.” He offered.

“No, hell no. Why are you even here?” Eve tensed. Konstantin sighed and looked at his shoe.

“I. I, er, I need a favour, Eve.”

“Definitely not.” She could not believe he had the cheek to ask her.

“Eve, please. This isn’t me coming from The Twelve, this is me asking you personally. I can make it worth your while, it just needs to be you.”

“I don’t care what you have to offer me. I wouldn’t trust you after everything you did.” Eve turned away from Konstantin and walked towards the pub, hoping he would not try to follow her. She could not be held responsible for her actions towards him.

“It’s Villanelle. She is not in a good way. Please.” Konstantin called after her, pleading. Eve hated how her heart jumped when she heard  _ her _ name. She hated how her legs started trembling at the mention that she was wanted. She hated the rising curiosity and sympathy - still, sympathy for her! - in her chest. Eve stopped for a moment but could not prevent her body from turning back to Konstantin. She groaned and stamped her way back to him, prepping her guard. It was still a no.

“Why would you think I would help her after what she did? I don’t care about her.”

“We all know about what happened on the bus, Eve. You initiated it, yes?” Konstantin laughed again, to Eve’s annoyance.

“That, that was…It’s still a no.”

“I messed up, Eve. Big time. I gave into her when I shouldn’t have. She probably wouldn’t trust me now. The only person she trusts is you. You’re the only one who can help her now. She’s in trouble.”

“I can’t help you.”

“Not here, not now, Eve. I have a table booked at Cafe Rouge at eight tonight. I can give you more details about it. I will wait a short while but if you don’t turn up, well...I don’t know what she might do, and that includes what she might do to you, too.” Konstantin dipped a hand into his pocket and pulled out a twenty-pound note.

“This can pay for the taxi. Or a few more drinks if you decide not to come.” He pushed it into Eve’s hand and she took the opportunity to study his face. Konstantin was deceitful to almost everyone he came across, he liked to moonlight for opposing sides for his own gain and repeatedly warned Eve off Villanelle, saying that she was unable to control her feelings of love without it ending in death. Even so, she could see a man who loved her in some weird, familial way and to see even Konstantin begging to protect her meant that Villanelle had got herself into some deep, life threatening shit. He held onto the note for a few seconds, pushing it before retracting his hand, brushing his coat and leaving Eve with a brisk walk.

Eve hated how her curiosity had been piqued. She looked down at the twenty pound note. This could buy her two more double gin and tonics in the pub, or one for her and whatever Jacqui was drinking. That would be enough alcohol to push her over the edge just enough to swear at Gemma’s intrusive, deluded mother and then she could storm out, go home, mix the gin in her stomach with more wine, cry over her wedding album, spend the evening on the floor of her bathroom and then nurse the hangover for two days while on bereavement leave. Or, she could go home now, buy another bottle or two of cheap gin and have a similar outcome.

She was kidding herself though if she thought that she was going to take any other outcome than meeting Konstantin. He had promised her anything she had wanted at least, and for a second Eve tried to convince herself that she was doing this to find out if Villanelle had really killed Niko and why The Twelve had decided that Niko needed to be killed. 

_ Stop lying to yourself. _ God, her sarcasm and sassy quips were useful for other people but she really did not need her brain turning on her. She already hated too much in her life, she did not have time to hate herself too.

Eve walked back to the pub to say her goodbyes. She was again betraying Niko, her husband for Villanelle, the assassin who shot her. The least she could do was leave the space created for mourning him. As she walked back in, Jacqui, who was standing with a small group of teachers started waving, beckoning for her to come over.

“Eve! Some of us are going to head out and grab some food, would you like to join us? Our treat!” She smiled.

“I’m sorry. I have an engagement.” Jacqui walked over to Eve and opened her arms slightly. It was an easily rejectable gesture but Eve stepped into the hug.

“At least take my number, okay?” Eve nodded and typed Jacqui’s number into her phone as she read it out. Jacqui stepped back and put her hand on Eve’s shoulder, guiding her to the bar like she had earlier.

“Will you have one more drink with us? I promise we can talk about mundane shit if you don’t want to talk about Niko, but we do have some hilarious stories from some of the Christmas parties…”

“I’d like that. Oh, but only a single though, please. I’d like to hear the stories, I can imagine there were probably some things he’d always forget to tell me.”

Jacqui passed her another gin and tonic and walked back with Eve towards the group of teachers. She nestled Eve into the circle between her and a tall, bald man with glasses who cleared his throat every few minutes. Probably a nervous thing.

“Tell Eve about the time Niko kissed his phone under the mistletoe because Eve wasn’t there.”

“Oh, I remember that, must have been about three years ago? He’d had a lot of whiskey and we had been doing tequila shots…”

Eve sipped on her straw, biting it and rolling it around her teeth, looking into her drink. She could hear their voices and while she was sure the story was sweet, she was already too wrapped up in her thoughts and focused on tonight’s meeting with Konstantin. She had already admitted to herself that while she was going to demand information about Niko, no matter what, it was the strange circumstances surrounding Villanelle that was pulling her to this meeting - and maybe some free food, if Konstantin was paying. It was wrong to feel glee for the chance of a fleeting reunion into the dangerous life that killed the man they were mourning, but she could not help it. It was probably more wrong to feel more sympathy and protectiveness over an assassin who had some, if not complete involvement in the death of him as well as the curiosity over how she had found herself in such a place that of all people, Eve was the one that they needed. What on earth had Villanelle done?


	2. I made her cry?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A too-drunk Eve takes Konstantin up on his offer for dinner in order to find justice for her husband. Deep down, she fights her feelings of excitement at the potential of seeing Villanelle again.

Eve had drank more than she had thought at Niko’s wake. She left pretty quickly after finishing her last drink and considered going home, but did not want to risk being late to the meeting. It was now seven-thirty and she was pacing the high street in Greenwich, waiting for Konstantin to arrive. She had gone in as soon as she got here but the waiter just shook his head and offered her a seat, but she declined. The restaurant was suspiciously empty, Eve wondered if Konstantin had booked out the place so that they could talk in private. It crossed her mind that it might not just be her and Konstantin, that Villanelle could be there, or even someone like Carolyn. She leant against the brick between the cafe and the next building and tried to catch her breath.

Eve caught herself in the mirror and started touching her face. She had tried to dress up for Niko’s wake. She wore a black dress that sat loosely on her shoulders and hit just below her knee, her usual eyeliner and had pulled her hair up into a bun. She was poking at her face, her lipstick had worn off and her mascara was still smudged, her hair was trying to escape the bun. If Villanelle was coming, Eve would wonder how she would judge her appearance.

_ Wear it down. _

The memory took her by surprise and Eve pulled at the hair tie, snapping it. Her hair fell down to her shoulders and she fluffed it out a bit. She felt silly and ruffled it up again. There she was, in the mirror of a Cafe Rouge, fretting over her appearance because she thought there was a small chance she could see the assassin that may or may not have murdered her husband. The assassin that she definitely kissed.

She thought of Konstantin’s words from earlier.  _ Villanelle is not in a good way. _

Still, what did that mean? Villanelle ‘not in a good way,’ probably still meant impossibly hot and definitely more put together than she was.

“Eve! You’re here early. I am surprised.” Konstantin tapped her on the shoulder. Eve could hear him but did not turn around. The gravity of the situation dropped on her now. She was about to be helping a man who was loyal to nobody but himself. Who knows what he is going to ask of her?

“Eve. Stop thinking and come inside.” Konstantin held the door open for her. Eve pushed herself off the wall and wobbled. The world spun for a second and she felt the alcohol hit her. She put her hand out to brace herself on the wall.

“Woah.”

Konstantin slapped her back, pushing her towards the cafe door. He was laughing.

“Did you drink more than you thought? Come, we can drink. You may say yes if you are more drunk.”

Eve scowled at him, moved away from the touch and walked ahead of him into the cafe.

Konstantin ordered a bottle of champagne and a Sirloin steak, Eve ordered a peach iced tea and picked at a mushroom risotto. Konstantin poured him and Eve a glass of champagne and offered it to her. She shook her head.

“No, I’ll be sick.”

“Well, toast with your peach tea, then.”

They clinked glasses and ate in silence. Konstantin tucked into his meal while Eve pushed hers around the plate. She really wasn’t hungry. The expectant silence made Eve nervous and she reached out for the glass of champagne and finished it in one mouthful. Konstantin laughed but poured her another glass.

“Careful, Eve. I don’t mind a little drunk, but you still need to remember what I am going to ask you. You should eat.”

“Cut the shit, Konstantin. What do you need me for?” He laughed again.

“Villanelle said you were demanding.” Eve was silent, so Konstantin continued.

“I need you to pick Villanelle up from the airport and take her on holiday somewhere out of central London. I will provide a car and enough money. Take her shopping, take her to the beach or something. She loves arcades and games and she has always wanted to give you a makeover.”

Eve dropped her fork into the risotto. Was Konstantin bullshitting her? This big assignment was to just babysit Villanelle and take her on dates? After everything they had both done to her? There was absolutely no way she was accepting this proposal. Konstantin must have seen the incredulous look on Eve’s face as he hurried to explain what he meant.

“There was an incident in Russia. She created a really unnecessary mess and The Twelve are pissed. The way that she is, she will be sloppy and get herself in more trouble, if The Twelve don’t already want to dispose of her. She needs to be away from this lifestyle for a few days. We sent someone to shadow her on her journey back and she was not doing well. We are worried that she is close to a breakdown and we want somebody to catch her when she falls.”

“And I’m that person?” Eve leant forward. She imagined Villanelle on a train somewhere in Russia huddled into herself. As much as she did not like the woman - or so she told herself -, she could not imagine her like that. She felt a desire to reach out to her.

“You are the only person left that she trusts, I think. She doesn’t trust me, or Dasha-”

“Who’s Dasha?” Eve cut him off. Anybody close to Villanelle was of interest to her in case it was not Villanelle who drove the pitchfork through her husband’s throat. She grimaced at the image and pinched her eyes.

“She is Villanelle’s handler. She is lying to her, promising her shit she can’t have. She’s using her. That’s why she can’t trust her.”

Eve stuck a fork into her risotto and shoved it into her mouth. It was cold now and the texture made her gag but she forced it down anyway. She pushed the plate away from her.

“So you want me to be a glorified babysitter and take the psycho who shot me on dates for a few days to calm her down after an ‘incident?’” The word ‘incident’ was in air quotes.

“Precisely.” Konstantin’s laughing was really getting on Eve’s nerves.

“Do I get to know what the incident was?”

“She blew up her family home, killing her mother, step father, step brother and his girlfriend after they asked her to leave.”

Eve choked, the risotto threatening to emerge. If Villanelle was capable of doing that to her family, what could she do to her if she put one foot wrong? She was bored of gambling with her life now and taking Villanelle on in this heightened state was more than just dangerous. Villanelle liked to get her own way, and Eve had been on the receiving end of a bullet last time she rejected that. Konstantin was asking her to be alone with Villanelle again, already bruised from rejection, unpredictable. Niko crossed her mind again and she longed for that familiarity.

That tiny pull was still there though. Fascination? Sympathy? Love? Eve did not know what it was. The want was there though, to check in on Villanelle, to see her again. Weirdly, to Eve, she wanted to make sure that she was okay. Konstantin was presenting her with a situation that he - potentially, Konstantin was also the king of bullshit - thought that only she could fix. For the first time in six or seven months, she felt important. She felt desired. After finding out that Niko was not sending her the messages and that he truly did not want to see her again, Eve felt the bitter crush of rejection which clouded her grief. She felt as if she did not deserve to mourn him, that she was only mourning the safety he brought.

Konstantin was watching her. Any time she showed an expression of doubt or moved away from him, looking like she was about to leave the table, he topped up her champagne, or cleaned away her plates, or ordered a dessert platter. Eve reached for her bag just to check something, but it was obvious that Konstantin got the wrong idea.

“Eve, you need to let me explain. Please. I am not coming here from The Twelve. I am coming here for me. I like her a lot and do not want to see the end she is heading towards. I am willing to offer you whatever I can. Please, Eve. Please.”

She was shocked by Konstantin’s manner. She had seen him begging before to Carolyn but that was insincere. Eve met his eyes, they were wide with panic. She felt unsettled. She was not used to the truth.

“Okay. Explain.” She set her bag on her lap, her hand still gripped around a familiar piece of paper in the bag.

“Villanelle’s mother was convinced that she had a...she called it ‘the darkness.’ She took her to an orphanage when she was little and never came back for her. Her family believed some bullshit because she didn’t cry as a baby or something that made her cursed. They kept her brother and had another. Villanelle set the orphanage on fire after being told her mother was dead, the mother was told that Villanelle died in the fire.”

Eve swallowed. Villanelle did not stand a chance in life, branded like that from a young age. She felt angry on behalf of her. Abandoned by her family, used by The Twelve and cast aside if she caused them too much trouble. Eve could not forgive her for the shot, but hearing that made her understand it. Only a little. She considered Niko’s murder again. Maybe she did it out of revenge, to make Eve know what it felt like to be alone? Or maybe she just wanted Eve to herself. She had kissed her on the bus, Villanelle may have misinterpreted that as love and affection.

_ Was it a misinterpretation, though? _ Eve’s sarcastic inner voice was back again. She bit her lip to punish it.

“There was something else, too. She spared her brothers and even left a note to get one of them out of the house. She gave them enough money to be able to move somewhere else and start again.”

“That doesn’t sound like her.”

“Doesn’t it? Has she not protected those she likes before?”

Eve changed the subject. She knew what Konstantin was implying. Eve hardly thought a shoulder shot was protection.

“When was she in Russia? How long for?”

“About a week. She got the flight to Moscow last week Wednesday, but her family lived in the middle of nowhere so it took her a couple of days to get to her family. She got in on Friday night and then blew up the house on Sunday. She catches a flight from Moscow tomorrow morning and gets in at about two in the afternoon.”

Eve thought about the schedule. If Konstantin was telling the truth, there was no way that Villanelle would have been in Poland unless there was a layover or anything like that. The ideas she had of Villanelle being behind that shed, stabbing Niko with a pitchfork were fading. She hated the overwhelming relief she felt as she began to realise the chance of Villanelle murdering Niko was slim. She tried to rebut it by remembering that it was probably still The Twelve and it was probably still her fault somehow.

“Do you have evidence of her flights and stuff?”

Konstantin raised an eyebrow.

“Why do you need that?”

“Just, please. I just need to confirm something before I talk details with you.”

Konstantin reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an iPad. He tapped it a few times and then passed it to Eve. Sure enough, there were Villanelle’s digital records. A flight to Moscow, train tickets, a cash withdrawal of around five-thousand pounds in Roubles. Several trains back to Moscow and a flight to Heathrow. It was there in digital code. Villanelle did not kill Niko. Eve reached for the champagne and leaned back in the chair. Her tense feeling was gone.

“Oh, thank God.”

“Now, will you explain to me why you were so desperate for that information?” Konstantin was clasping his hands, moving forward to match the distance. It was Eve’s turn to laugh.

“Don’t you know why I was at the pub earlier? You can’t not know.”

“I put a tracker on your oyster card so I could see where you touched in and out. I don’t know.”

“My husband was murdered with a pitchfork in Poland. It was his memorial.” Eve felt a tear drip down her cheek. Konstantin avoided her gaze as she wiped it away.

“Okay. I see. You thought Villanelle murdered your husband?”

“I considered it.”

“No, she always said he was off limits. She didn’t want to hurt you.” Eve scoffed and touched her shoulder, tracing the scar.

“No, I mean it. She never wanted to hurt you, she probably just got angry. I’m happy to give you a gun if you want some protection.” Konstantin offered but Eve shook her head. Villanelle would be more likely to use it than her.

Eve reached into her bag and took out the note that was attached to the pitchfork. She had wrapped it in a plastic bag to preserve it. She slid it across the table to Konstantin. He picked it up, still in the plastic bag and inspected it.

“I want you to find out who wrote this. Whoever did this is responsible for killing my husband. I can imagine they are trying to frame Villanelle.”

Konstantin shook his head.

“Not quite. I get the feeling this was written by someone who liked to hold onto their glory days by saying that they’ve ‘still got it!’ and probably overestimated their talent. I feel like this was written for Villanelle, not for you.”

“You mean…”

“I have some ideas, yes. It also confirms that we need to keep Villanelle away from The Twelve if they’re trying to set her up. I’m willing to investigate this if you will keep her safe.” Konstantin went to put the note away in his pocket. Eve stopped him.

“I have a printout of a picture of it. I’d like to keep the note, please.” Konstantin returned the plastic bag and Eve gave him a stapled bundle of images she had taken of the note as well as the pictures of the pitchfork that Bitter Pill had hacked off the Polish government.

“Okay. I’ll send you a car tomorrow morning with some of Villanelle’s stuff. Pack a suitcase, but make sure it’s stuff you won’t miss just in case you need to abandon it. Here, I have some envelopes for you. Cash and prepaid credit cards. There is one in there that is directly attached to a bank account I can control, but I prefer if you don’t use it unless you need to. I’m still linked to The Twelve.”

Eve took the envelopes that Konstantin pushed towards her. They felt substantial.

“Konstantin…”

“Yes?”

“Why me? Why not you?”

“Like I said, it’s about trust. Also, she told me once that you two are the same. I didn’t believe her at first, but now? I can believe it. I think you are the last person left who can show some care towards her that she will accept. And, from what you told me, you two can lean on each other. You both have no family anymore.”

Eve did not expect the sharp sting that Konstantin’s words caused. He was right and the reality hit. She had lost the last of her family that she was close to. Sure, her mother had reached out to extended aunts to secure her a job and a bit of financial support but Niko was truly the last person she could open up to. Kenny was gone. Bill was gone. She had lost everything. The cafe went blurry, Eve raised her hand to her mouth to suppress a sob.

“You are also one of the only people who has made her cry.”

“I made her cry?” Eve’s voice cracked. She was thankful that Konstantin was not offering any sort of comfort and that the waiters also ignored her tears.

“Yes, there was a time in Amsterdam. She killed a guy in a brothel and hung him from the window for you to see. MI6 sent somebody else and she got jealous so she took a lot of drugs and I had to stop her from killing a girl in a nightclub. She doesn’t remember it but she threw up a lot and cried about you. I caught her in the bathroom crying in the mirror, also. She thought she was alone.”

“Oh.” Eve thought back to Rome and her words to Villanelle.  _ You don’t know what that is _ , when Villanelle told her she loved her.  _ You’re not capable of that. _ Maybe she was, Eve just wanted to write off her feelings to hide the own feelings she had for Villanelle that were beginning to bubble over.

“She also usually checks to make sure that the person she shot is actually dead.”

“Please don’t bring that up, I’m tired of talking about it.”

  
“Okay. I think we should go home. I will arrange a taxi for you. I will drop the car off at eight, and remember, her flight gets in at two. Be gentle with her. I don’t know how she will react.” 

Konstantin stood up and walked over to the bar where he paid the waiter. He gave Eve a gentle pat on the shoulder as he walked past her. Eve pressed her lips together. He definitely had a weird habit of doing that, but maybe all of those involved with The Twelve were just socially inept. She looked at the half finished glass of champagne but decided to leave it. Her peach tea had gone untouched, but she tipped it into a water bottle she had in her bag. She needed a treat for tomorrow, it was a long drive to Heathrow.

“Are you ready? The taxis are outside. You need an early night to sleep off the alcohol.”

Eve nodded. She just wanted to go home and enjoy her last night of normal.


	3. I'm your ride.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve wakes up late and hungover on top of the pile of clothes she has to pack. She has one last face off with Konstantin to try and decipher his true intentions before hurtling down the M25 to pick up her traumatised psychopath.

“Eve! You need to wake up, you’ll be late!”

That gruff, singsong voice and a steady knocking on her door woke Eve up shortly before eight am. She was still in her dress from the night before and had fallen asleep on a pile of clothes while trying to pack. Her head was pounding and her sight bleary. Konstantin’s knocking just got louder and so did his shouting. She sat forward and put her head in her hands, pulling her hair through her fingers. She staggered up to her feet, arms out to grab onto the wall to steady herself.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming!” She slammed into the door and fumbled with the chain lock - an addition to her front door since Villanelle’s personally delivered bear. As soon as she opened the door, Konstantin pushed through but stopped when he saw the mound of clothes on the bed and Eve wearing the same smudged mascara and black dress from last night. He gave his typical Konstantin laugh.

“I see you have packed, Eve. Take a shower and get ready. I’ll sort out what is going on here. Luckily we still have time, there has been a delay in her flight. She will get into London at about three thirty.”

Eve looked over at the clock. She had a couple of hours before she needed to leave. She nodded at Konstantin, grabbed a towel and a handful of clothes from the pile and went into the bathroom. She remembered to shut the door but had to go back to lock it as she was not used to having company over and the door on the bathroom was not too good at staying closed on its own. She could hear Konstantin moving around in her apartment and the kettle boiling. 

She closed her eyes and let the water run over her body for a while. This was the last shower she would get without an impatient voice bothering her or the pressure of being responsible for Villanelle eating at her. In some ways, it truly felt like she was babysitting. All responsibility was being stripped from Villanelle and placed onto Eve along with the tiny bit she had left for herself. As she lathered her hair, she wondered if it was worth it. There was absolutely no question, however. After hearing about her through Konstantin last night, she had dwelled on the image of a teary-eyed Villanelle sobbing her name into a bathroom mirror and could not escape the crushing desire to just comfort her.

Eve was apprehensive, though. She had never truly spent much time with Villanelle, even when they were working together. The times they had spent together were usually with a knife resting on each other or negotiating for their lives. Even during Rome, Eve only listened into Villanelle using an earpiece. Villanelle never knew what went down on her side of the line, that she used Hugo as if he were a toy, a substitute for Villanelle as she got off to her voice. 

She got out of the shower and went through the random pile of clothes to pick out something comfy. She had an old pair of black and white striped trousers she used to wear around the garden at her old house and matched it with a black turtleneck. Eve pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail as she didn’t quite have time to brush it. As she was going through the last pile of clothes for anything she could take and packing her toiletries, her heart stopped at the voice that she could hear.

_ Admit it Eve. You wish I was here. _

Eve threw the clothes down and unlocked the door to see Konstantin holding the heart with a bemused smile. He threw it gently and caught it again in his hands as he saw Eve looking at him with a horrified expression.

“Interesting. So when did she leave you this message?”

“Do you make it a habit of poking around other people’s apartments? I suppose I shouldn’t ask that, knowing your job.” She looked at the mound of clothes still untouched and sighed.

“I thought you were supposed to be helping.” She leant back into the bathroom to grab the bag of toiletries and started filling the overnight bag left on the floor the night before. She took a handful of clothes, a small purse, a portable phone charger, a pair of wireless headphones, some hairclips, a notebook and pen and her bag of toiletries.

_ Admit it Eve. You wish I was here. _

“Can you not?” She snapped at Konstantin, who was sitting on her desk, drinking coffee and playing with the heart.

“Are you going to pack this?” He asked with a chuckle. Eve stopped and considered whether she should take it.

“You don’t need it. You will have the real thing. Here, I made you a coffee too. And some aspirin for your hangover.” He gestured towards the table space next to him. Eve accepted the aspirin gratefully and sipped the coffee as she gathered up the last few things. She had remembered to put her phone on charge, but as she went to take it off, Konstantin stopped her.

“I have a phone for you, and one for Villanelle. Yours has my number in it and Villanelle’s number. Hers is just to contact you.” Konstantin reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an older iPhone and a burner phone. Eve took them off him and put them in her handbag.

“Konstantin…”

“Yes?”

“Why are you doing this? I want to know.” She looked him up and down. She saw his knee jerk.

“Before I gave her the details of her family, she was bouncing around singing about your birthday. She had icing in her hair, it was obvious that she had been-”

“Konstantin.” Eve knew he was rambling. She wanted the story to be true but she knew that there was always more than one side. Where was the self-serving reason behind why he was willing to go to such lengths to protect Villanelle?

“Okay, Okay. I was the one who made the error. I gave Villanelle the details of her family knowing what they were like in return for her to do a favour for me. I thought it would take her down a notch as she was getting a little big for her boots because of Dasha’s lies. That’s also a problem in The Twelve as Dasha is her handler now, I used her without permission to complete a task. If Villanelle gets back into the Twelve they will most likely assign her to a hit on me. She can’t use the same trick twice.”

“I see, I see. So with Villanelle out of the way you’ll be able to worm your way back into The Twelve.” Eve questioned him. Another sarcastic laugh came out of Konstantin.

“Not exactly. I am still with them, but Dasha is a problem. She is filling Villanelle’s mind with all sorts of false promises so that she can pass off her management work to her. I worry how she may take it when she finds out Dasha is using her. She threatened to kill her once before. Maybe I should not stop her, then. But then I would die. She saved me last time.”

“Didn’t she shoot you, too?”

“I guess that is the one thing we have in common. But she didn’t check if we were dead. That is the closest to love we will get from Villanelle. She will not do it a second time, though.”

Konstantin’s words were a warning to Eve.  _ Tread carefully around Villanelle. You will not get a second chance at this. _

“Do you care about Villanelle?”

He laughed. Eve took a step back. She really could not read this man. His emotions were like a Russian Doll, you peeled back one layer to find another, and then another once you removed that one. What was the core? Love for her, or love for himself?

“Do you have everything? This is the key to your car.” Konstantin held up the key to an Audi. Eve smiled and took it off him, running her fingers over the symbols. She had never driven a fancy car, she had always bought secondhand cheaply and would not replace them until she ran them into the ground. She was sure that this car probably had a few adaptations courtesy of The Twelve. Eve pressed her lips together and nodded at Konstantin. At this point she had nothing more to say to him.

“Let me know when you have picked her up. Good luck, Eve.”

She left Konstantin in her apartment. She had a feeling that she would not be coming back here for a least a while.

The drive took longer than Eve thought. She had lived in London long enough to know most of the way but because of transport links and congestion charges, she only really drove when she had to. She didn’t even own a car anymore, she shared Niko’s when she needed to previously. He would prefer to drive to work due to the amount of books he would need to move between home and the school. She wasn’t accustomed to motorways and was becoming stressed at the traffic. It was a bright, sunny day. She assumed most people were off to the beach or to Surrey.

Eve lit another cigarette while she was waiting for her chance to go through. There had been an accident which turned an hour and a half drive into almost four hours. She didn't even know when she had even left her apartment, bickering with Konstantin took longer than she thought it would. There were also the petrol station breaks as she drank her weight in iced tea and avoided breakfast. The car in front of her started moving, and it was finally her turn to go through. She nodded at the police who were controlling the barriers and trying to prevent people from looking at the accident. She hated the morbid curiosity of the passersby - how would they like it if their worst day was shown as a spectator’s sport? Eve thought back to the bus and the people watching. Obviously not the worst day of her life, but she wondered if she had been filmed. She could have sworn she saw a teenager put his phone away as she staggered back to her chair.

The GPS said she was only another ten or fifteen minutes away. It was two-thirty. She was cutting it close. Eve had gone through almost half a packet of cigarettes in the journey but reached for another one as she queued to park in Heathrow’s car park. She could just wait for pickups, but she did not want to risk missing Villanelle. She didn’t even know what to look for. What did she look like, now? What was she wearing? Would she be moving quickly to get out of there or distracted by duty free?

  
  
And what would her reaction be to seeing Eve as the one to pick her up?

“Ma’am, I’m sorry but you cannot smoke in the car park.” A guard tapped on the window as she moved forward. She was next into the terminal. Eve rolled down the window.

“Oh. My apologies, I’ll put it out now.” She pressed the cigarette into the ashtray pouch she kept in her pocket. A purchase after she had been stung with an eighty-five pounds fine for littering once.

Parking took another twenty five minutes, but that might have been down to Eve’s indecision on how many hours to pay for. She might have a wad of cash stashed in her handbag, but she still grimaced at how expensive it was. So, at three-fifteen, fifteen minutes before Villanelle’s flight reached Heathrow, Eve found herself tucked up on one of the chairs in arrivals, researching her first location. In around an hour, she would be on the road with Villanelle, tasked with the job to keep her out of trouble. Her reality was starting to sink in. She had not seen Villanelle since the bus. Villanelle did not know it was Eve picking her up.

  
So, in an hour, she might even be dead. Grand.

Back to her current task however. She didn’t have much time to find a place for them to go to. All she had to go on was a place that was not London, or somewhere where they would be noticed. Easier said than done for Eve who had not left London that much since she moved here apart from budget summer holidays with Niko. They had never even left the country.

She remembered the little beach town Niko was fond of. It was nestled in Sussex but overshadowed by most of the resorts surrounding it. What was it called? She brought up the painful, happy memories of her and Niko wandering down country lanes, fighting over a giant teddy won in the arcades, wandering down the empty beach. Littlehampton. It was quiet most of the time, Eve knew a little rustic bed and breakfast hidden in a cul-de-sac and it had an array of little arcades and quaint cafes, as she remembered it. Not much shopping, but they could drive. It was perfect. Eve researched the little B&B to find that it still had some reservations even in the spring. She decided not to book it over the phone though, and would wait until they got there to book it in person. She remembered enough from MI6 to not leave a paper trail.

_ That seems like a nice place.  _ A text from a saved but unknown number flashed up on the phone. Eve rolled her eyes and put her head into her hand. Of course Konstantin was tracking her phone.

_ You bugged the fucking phone.  _ She responded in seconds.

_ Only for emergencies. Are you at the airport? _

_ Yes. _

_ Good Luck. _

Eve really did not know whether she liked Konstantin or not. She could not decipher his motives. What was the cover story? He pretended to care about Villanelle to save his life? Or he pretended to care about his life to save Villanelle? He gave her more money than she had ever touched to defend whatever was closest to him though, and truly this was the most excitement she had experienced since Rome. With the evidence that Villanelle definitely did not kill her husband, most of the guilt had faded and in a way, she was filled with glee at the chance to just run away and do fun things. She also could not deny that she needed to know Villanelle was okay, and she needed to know more about her. It was the first time they were actually getting to spend time together. They could pretend that she had run away with her in Rome, if they closed their eyes and wished hard enough.  _ No. That would be wrong. It happened. _

Still, she did not have time to consider this. She had looked up and caught the board in her eye line. The flight from Moscow had arrived and the baggage was off the plane. Eve stuffed her phone back in her bag and stood up, hanging around the doors from border control. She considered whether she should have brought a sign. Eve shook her head again, she could not afford to let her thoughts wander. She needed to catch Villanelle. Oh, the irony.

_ Hopefully she hasn’t been distracted by the duty free. _ Eve was nervous. Her legs were bouncing and she was walking up and down the arrivals section. Why did she even text Konstantin that? She wanted another cigarette but had to stay inside, so she ran her hands through her hair and was scrunching it through her fingers, eyes wide, watching the crowds. Looking for the extravagant dress and the confident sway. Waiting for the honey blonde hair and cat like eyes.

There she was. Walking briskly through the crowd in an oversized denim boiler suit, holding a backpack between her arms like she was hugging it. Villanelle was darting around people, she looked like she had somewhere to go, like she was trying to escape. Eve saw her eyes, wide, fearful and dazed. She had some makeup on and her hair was tied back as usual, but Eve could see the dark circles and red hue to her eyes. She looked...lost. Eve forgot to breathe, struggling with a tightness in her chest.

Eve scrunched up her hands, took a deep breath and stretched her arms. She had to play it cool. She had to quieten her mind.

“Here goes nothing,” she mumbled to herself. A couple of people turned to look at her, so she nodded at them. She cast her glance back to Villanelle, still walking through the crowds. She had accidentally barged into someone and they had tried to stop her, Eve saw the vicious glare she gave back as she powered on. 

_ I’ve got her. _ She texted Konstantin.

Eve waited until there was nobody in front of her before stepping into her line of sight. She watched Villanelle stop and her chest heave, and managed a timid smile. Eve put her hands in her pockets to hide her shaking hands.

“Hey.”

“Eve. Why are you here?” It was sharp. She did not smile.

“I’m your ride.”


	4. Don't ever let Konstantin dress me again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve and Villanelle begin their road trip with strong guards up while simultaneously trying to break the other down. A change of plans due to a poster begins to warm up the frosty tension in the car, although unanswered questions and avoided answers still hang in the air.

Villanelle had not spoken a word since they left the airport. She had followed Eve without a smile or sarcastic comment, both of which Eve was expecting. The last time they had seen each other they had kissed. She was sure Villanelle was armed with some flirtatious sass at least. Something really must have gone down to silence her.

_I mean, it was enough for her to torch her family home._ But then again, Villanelle did not exactly have a normal range of emotions, did she?

Eve had taken her backpack off her as she led her to the car. She had slung it over her shoulder and walked two paces ahead of Villanelle, although she stopped regularly to make sure Villanelle was still walking beside her. She was following, but still had the wide-eyed daze about her face. When they reached the car, Eve unlocked the boot to put Villanelle’s bag in. It was then that she saw that Konstantin had left two neatly packed floral overnight bags in there. Those must have been Villanelle’s belongings.

“Do you want anything out of your backpack before I put it away?” Eve asked Villanelle. Villanelle reached into the boot and unzipped one of the overnight bags. She seemed to be looking for something.

“I want to get changed.” She said. Villanelle unzipped the boiler suit to reveal a top and a maxi skirt underneath. The top had a splatter of blood on the hip. Eve averted her gaze to hide her exasperated reaction. This was all becoming a little too real. Villanelle had really killed her family - well, some of them, at least.

“There should be some bathrooms in the airport, if you want to go back.”

“Here is fine. Just make sure nobody comes by.” Villanelle took one of the bags and opened the back passenger seat. Eve turned away and sat in the boot. She had left her cigarettes on the driver’s seat but did not want to disturb Villanelle, so she looked at the phone Konstantin had given her. He had not responded to her text so she checked the traffic alerts. Everything seemed mostly clear now, so it should be a smooth, approximately two hour run to Littlehampton. There might be a stop or two, so Eve predicted that they would get there around seven. Enough time to check into the B&B, find some dinner and maybe spend an evening trying to claw a plushie out of an arcade, if Villanelle was in the mood. She felt awkward. How did she approach the subject of Villanelle’s family? Did she mention what had happened to Niko? 

Yesterday she was mourning her husband. Well, until Konstantin, and subsequently Villanelle swooped into her life and shook it up again. In another timeline, she would be in bed still, eyes sore with tears and an ignored phone full of texts from the teachers she had swapped numbers with. Or, Eve wouldn’t have even met Villanelle. She would be in bed with Niko, who she would have persuaded to leave his marking because the kids probably would not even read his comments anyway. They would have lounged around after making love and maybe made it into the shower at this time, ready to cook dinner together - and by cooking dinner together, it definitely meant more Niko cooking while she drank wine and grabbed his ass every time she walked by him. Eve had to bite her lip at the memory to subdue the tears. Now was not the time to break down. She probably needed to schedule a time to feel the emotions. The close memories of the wake were finally starting to settle in. She was relieved that she had zoned out of the fond stories the maths teachers told because those would be images in her head she could not handle. With Villanelle around though, she could not quite show weakness yet. Well, she could not show it first.

“I’m ready.”

Eve, who was, looking at her knees, felt a shadow cast over the ground. The boot of the car shook with the weight of Villanelle launching the overnight bag back into it. She looked up at her. Her outfit was very un-Villanelle, a white summery button blouse and light pink shorts. She had a matching bandana in her hair but she had neatened up her bun and pulled it to the top of her hair. She wore white high-tops with daisy socks poking out over the top. She looked cute. Which wasn’t Villanelle, usually she looked mysterious and seductive.

“Okay.”

They both got into the car. Eve hesitated to start it. Villanelle seemed to have a bit more colour in her face but she was slouched in the passenger seat, pouting, with her arms folded and one foot outstretched, resting on the glove compartment. She looked like she was sulking. Eve tried not to laugh.

“You okay?” She managed to get out before a snort escaped. Villanelle glared at her and Eve pressed her lips together to keep in the rest of the laugh.

“Who picked these clothes?”

“Konstantin did.” Eve’s shoulders were moving up and down.

“Stop laughing! Don’t ever let Konstantin dress me again.” She still would not look at Eve.

“For what it’s worth, I think you look nice.” Villanelle looked at Eve then, a glimmer in her eyes behind the sulk. Eve smiled and Villanelle turned away, threw herself back at the chair and assumed the same position as before.

“Yes, but you have bad taste anyway.”

“Says who?”

“You’re wearing a turtleneck without sleeves. Who does that?”

“It’s summer.”

Eve laughed. She always did enjoy sparring with Villanelle and this almost seemed normal. Her shoulders felt lighter. Villanelle was frowning again and the atmosphere quickly moved back to awkward. Eve needed to get the small talk out of the way.

“Okay. I know you have a few questions. It’s going to be a long drive and I need to focus, so fire away now before we leave.”

Villanelle strung together several questions as soon as Eve gave her the invitation. Eve kept her answers brief.

“Who wanted you to pick me up?”

“Konstantin.”

“Who organised all this?"

“Konstantin.”

“Why?”

“He wanted to keep you out of trouble for a few days, apparently.”

“Why you?”

  
  
“I had a few days off work and was free. I fancied the holiday and he was offering to pay for it, which saves me money I don’t have, so I said yes.”

“Why are you off work?”

“A few complications so they thought it’d be best if I took a bit of a break. It’s been quiet anyway so it saves them a bit of money not having to pay me overtime.”

“What complications?”

“Villanelle, I said a few questions, not every thought that pops into your head.” She reflected that question a bit more snappily than the others. She couldn’t face talking about her husband to the woman that he despised.

Eve felt a hand touch hers. She turned towards Villanelle and almost bumped her nose. She was leaning over Eve, her presence pushing Eve back until she felt her head knock against the car window. Eve’s breath hitched as Villanelle stopped moving, her lips parted with a curious, teasing grin. _Here was the bravado that she liked to put on,_ Eve told herself. It was not real. She could not lose her head now. Villanelle’s free hand reached up to cup Eve’s cheek. Eve instinctively leaned into it for a few seconds before she realised what she was doing and focused her head forward.

“Why don’t we recreate what we did on the bus?” Villanelle closed her mouth into a flirtatious smile, she had an eyebrow raised. Her thumb traced Eve’s jawline as Eve sharply inhaled through her nose.

“No....No.” She sat up and Villanelle flinched back before retreating into her own chair again. Her face was turned away from Eve now and at the door. This was the rejection she wanted to avoid, but she couldn't bring herself to give into Villanelle. She was still manic from Russia. Giving into her would create a toxic dynamic and put her into a submissive position, then she would not have any chance of finding out about Villanelle and her family. Eve wondered if she was looking at the door, planning a getaway, so she straightened up, put her seatbelt on and pressed a button on the steering wheel to lock all doors in the car. Villanelle tensed up.

“Why have you locked me in here? Do you not trust me?” She asked, alarmed. She was fiddling with the handle.

“Oh, no...I do, but I suppose it is a habit after working for MI6 to lock everything behind me. I had an incident in the past where somebody tried to pull me from a moving car. Sorry.” The story about the moving car was bullshit, but she had already put a foot wrong with Villanelle. She seemed to buy it though as she reached over to grab her seatbelt and put it on, before nestling back into the seat, back to Eve.

Eve pulled at her hair again. It was like trying to calm down a terrified cat. One wrong move and Villanelle was spooked and retreating. Eve was not sure she had the tact for this, she was known for putting her foot in her mouth too many times and seemed to just be delaying the inevitable, when she would offend Villanelle or get too overprotective of her and she would shoot - this meaning that she would run or attack. There would have been a reason why Konstantin thought that she was the only one who could get close to Villanelle, but at the moment, she was not seeing it. Her heart was still thundering away under her chest and she could feel a tingle down her jawbone where those fingers trailed. When would she stop being excited over every little touch, every time they got closer? Or would her mind go the other way, and stop telling herself it was wrong? Eve did not know if she was prepared to accept that way of thinking, but the line between her moral self and the self dominated by passion was blurring.

“Are we not going?” Villanelle pulled Eve out of her thoughts. She really needed to stop being so consumed by them, especially if Villanelle was as skittish as she was.

“Yeah, sorry. Do you want the radio on, or anything?”

There was no response from Villanelle. They drove in silence.

About twenty minutes into the drive, she heard Villanelle’s breath get heavy. Small noises here and there turned into snores. Maybe her paranoid attitude was down to lack of sleep - she could not imagine that Villanelle got a lot through several days of travelling on bumpy trains and turbulent airplanes. In some ways, it was a compliment. Villanelle felt safe enough to sleep in the presence of Eve. There was a small spark of trust there and she just needed to kindle it. They stopped at some lights, so Eve reached into the backseat for her jacket and lay it over Villanelle. A little while passed and Villanelle grabbed the jacket and pulled it up to her chin, moving a little to get comfortable before settling. She groaned, but it sounded contented. The lights were still red, so she sent a brief text to Konstantin. Her hands touched the cigarette packet next to her phone but she left it. It would be rude to her guest to not find consent and she did not want to wake her up. The silence this time was calm and comforting. It was safe..

_We’re on the move. She’s asleep. A little skittish, but fine._

She left out the details. He didn’t need to know. Eve turned on the radio and realised that Konstantin had synced it to her borrowed phone, so she put on a generic ambient playlist with the volume barely audible and waited for the lights on her lane to turn green. Eve tapped the steering wheel. Actually, she quite liked driving and road trips. Maybe this could even be fun.

Eve had to take a longer route to try and rejoin the M25 at a different point due to the earlier accident. Somebody had died apparently so the whole section was closed off near Heathrow now, removing her shot at a direct route. She managed to drive through London and got as far as Greenwich. She thought about Cafe Rouge and Konstantin, and who would be covering the inevitable Congestion Charges that the car would have racked up. She noticed Villanelle stirring. She was on her back now, jacket up to her chin. Her eyes fluttered open, staring directly in front of her.

“I had to go a bit of a longer way. We’ve just hit a bit of traffic, but we should be on our way out of London soon.”

“Why do we need to leave London?” Villanelle reached forward and turned the radio off. Eve could feel the awkward tension began to build in the cramped space of the car.

“Part of Konstantin’s request. Besides, I haven’t really left London myself since I moved here. It’s not a proper holiday unless you go somewhere you don’t really get to go a lot. Don’t worry, I picked somewhere nice and it’s not too far from London so we can still come back.”

Villanelle’s hands were gripping on the coat. Eve’s hands reached for her cigarette packet.

“Do you mind?” She asked Villanelle.

“Yes. Yes I do mind. I hate smoking.” Villanelle pulled a face. Eve retracted her hand instantly just as the lights turned orange. The car crept along at a snail's pace, but it was better than nothing. Villanelle had taken the cigarette packet now and was snapping each cigarette in half in one hand and stuffing it back into the packet. Once she had worked her way through the eight cigarettes, she screwed up the packet and pressed it back into the compartment between the two seats. She beamed at Eve who just exhaled her annoyance through her nose. The stream of traffic paused again.

“Since when did you start smoking, anyway? You never used to.”  
  


“About six or seven months ago.”

“What?” Villanelle sprung up and shifted towards her. _Shit._ She knew the double meaning in Eve’s words. She had started smoking just after Rome.

“I took a job in a restaurant after I was discharged from the hospital. Smoking meant that I could take regular breaks. Making dumplings for twelve hours a day was really boring and my coworkers just used to talk about girlfriends who clearly didn’t love them. I didn’t want to hear that shit.”

“All smoking does is make you smell and make you sound like a man. Don’t damage your voice just because you want a break. Why did you not just go back to the job you had before? Does your moustache like you smoking? He probably thinks it’s disgusting.”

Eve gripped the steering wheel. Villanelle had brought up Niko, and she was right. Niko would have thought it was disgusting. He would have also thought it was disgusting that she was about to go on a road trip and hideout for a few days with the assassin who shot her and tore their life apart. Again, she felt the guilt. She did not want to talk about him, not so soon, but she had no way of deflecting the conversation this time.

“MI6 or Niko didn’t want to know me. A friend of my mother’s got me the job at the restaurant. I just wanted a quiet life.”

“Well now you’re here with me. Am I too loud for you, Eve?” Villanelle shouted the question.

“Quiet isn’t all it’s made out to be.”

Eve smiled at Villanelle and her mouth hung open slightly in response. This seemed to be working. Villanelle was still holding onto the jacket, but had sat up and shifted in her seat so that she was closer to Eve. The tension eased. The traffic started moving, but the lights went back to red as Eve was edging towards the turning.

“Come on! Just go through the red light!” Villanelle shouted, kicking the dashboard, probably as if it was the car in front, who had slowed down at the orange light and stopped Eve from getting through. She would have risked it.

“You’re impatient. Do you want to get us in trouble before we even get to start our holiday?”

“Our holiday.” Villanelle repeated, smiling. “Where are we even going?”

“Don’t you like surprises? Besides, I just told you! Somewhere about an hour out of London.”

“No, but what’s there? Is it fun?”

“I think you might like it. Not a lot of shopping, though, but lots of good food and games.”

They finally got through the traffic lights. Eve pulled into a petrol station before the turning to go onto the A2.

“Do you want a drink or some snacks? There won’t be many places to stop before we get to where we need to go after here. I can pick you up something.” Eve unclipped her belt and took her purse from her handbag, hanging on the seat. She decided to top up the car with petrol, too. Just in case.

“A smoothie.”

“Maybe a second option just in case they don’t have a smoothie? It might go a bit funny in the car too, it’s hot.”

“Lemonade. What kind of food do they have here?”

“Crisps, chocolate, fruit, cardboard sandwiches, cold sausage rolls…”

“Sausage roll!” Villanelle was an excited puppy. If she had a tail, it would be going in circles.

  
  
Eve grimaced. Those sausage rolls were vile even when they were heated up, to eat them cold turned her stomach. It betrayed her though and growled at the thought of the soggy pastry and grey meat. Looks like she was joining Villanelle on bad food choices, too.

Eve reached in through the window and pulled the key out of the ignition. 

“Be back in a minute.” She pressed a button on the key to pull up the window and lock the car again. Villanelle just pulled a face at Eve through the window and she waved at Villanelle as she headed into the store. She needed to be fast. She grabbed a Sprite for Villanelle, a Pepsi and an iced coffee for herself to try and stave off the hangover, water for backup, some chewing gum, some gummies and the coveted sausage rolls. Eve noticed some sunglasses on a spinning tower near the till and grabbed two sets of cat-eye glasses. Useful for her driving, and it was going to be sunny. She considered asking for some cigarettes too, but Villanelle would destroy them, too. She wondered if it was a jealousy thing, that she didn’t want Eve taking any breaks away from her.

The cashier’s eyes went from her stash of snacks to her, and back to the stash before she started scanning them. She looked at Eve studiously and then pulled a plastic bag off the wall. Eve looked around and realised she had forgotten to bring a tote bag. Maybe bringing Villanelle into the shop was a good idea after all, but she also tended to impulse by.

“It’s not all for me, I swear. I’m also at pump number four, so I need to pay for that, too.”

“That will be forty-five pounds please.” _Shit, that’s expensive._ Maybe quitting the cigarettes would be a good idea.

When Eve left the store, she recognised the familiar silhouette standing by the window, definitely out of the locked car. It was not even worth her while to ask.

“You know if you lift those little locks up, it unlocks the car.” Villanelle contemplated. Eve ignored the comment.

Eve took the Sprite out of the bag and handed it to Villanelle, retrieving her iced coffee too and stabbing through the lid with the straw.

“Hey! Not fair, I didn’t realise that was an option.” Villanelle swiped for the iced coffee, and Eve snatched it closer to her chest, out of her way.

  
  
“You can have some of it, let me have a sip first. Some of us had to drive instead of sleep.” She drank a little and handed it to Villanelle, following where her eyes were looking. She seemed to be reading the advertisements stuck to the window of the shop.

“What are you looking at?” She moved next to Villanelle who was gripping the iced coffee with both hands and chewing on the straw.

“That. There’s a funfair.”

Eve scanned the posters until she found the one Villanelle was looking at. There was a pop-up fair on Blackheath Common which was about ten minutes away from here. It rolled around a couple times in the summer, she was sure she’d gone to the circus that usually accompanied it with Niko and his cousins one year.

“I want to go.”

Blackheath was still London. 

“There will be amusements and rides at where we’re planning to go.” Eve tried to convince Villanelle, but she had learned in Rome. Villanelle had probably painted a silly picture in her mind of winning toys and going on scary rides and once she had her mind set to something, she would not be convinced otherwise. What Villanelle wanted, Villanelle got. And Eve was not prepared to risk going back to timid, paranoid Villanelle, ready to run away from her at any second.

“Please.” Villanelle pleaded. Eve sighed.

“Okay, Okay. I’ll see what I can do. You take this stuff back to the car and wait for me.” She gave Villanelle the bag, who took it with a smile and seemed to be skipping back to the car. Eve couldn’t help but laugh. Even through everything, a happy Villanelle always made her heart skip a beat. It was a good chunk of the reason why she agreed to the job. She wanted to make Villanelle happy.  
  


She moved around to the side of the store, out of view of Villanelle but close enough that she could hear if the car door opened. She considered locking it again but she needed to give Villanelle a little bit of trust. Besides, she knew Villanelle and food. Nothing would be prioritised over that sausage roll. She called Konstantin.

“Eve? You don’t need to update me on every little thing.”

“I know, but there’s been a change of plan.”

“Oh?”

“She’s seen a poster for some cheap fair at Blackheath and is persistent in going.”

“Blackheath is still London.”

“Does it count if there’s no tube station and the only train station runs trains every half an hour? I guess it’s London but it’s not _London,_ if you know what I mean.” Why was she trying to convince Konstantin to let her go to the fair?

“I guess you’re right. Be out of there tomorrow, I’ll keep vigilant on this side. She does like fairs.”

“I figured that by how puppy-like she got over that poster.”

“How is she, by the way?”

“A pain in my ass.”

Konstantin laughed.

“No, I guess it’s small steps but I’ve fed her and she seems content. I better go tell her the good news. Your life is safe for now, don’t worry.”

“Goodbye, Eve.”

Konstantin hung up quickly. _Rude._

Once she was back in the car, Eve dug through the bag to find her own sausage roll. It was still there, thankfully. Villanelle had polished off hers and the extra she had got.

“All good, we can go tonight. I can sort out a hotel but we have to be up early to get to our destination. You ok with that?”

Villanelle clapped her hands together.

“I am going to beat you at every game there is.” She pressed her forehead against Eve’s. Eve could not lose her cool now.

“You’re on. Winner gets to drive the bumper car.”

“Deal.” Villanelle pulled away and began to fiddle with the radio.

Eve unwrapped her sausage roll and took a bite. She could not deny that it was divine against her unsettled stomach and painful head. She programmed in the address of a hotel she knew around the area. It would only be a ten minute drive. They should be there for five thirty. With the sausage roll still between her lips, she drove off as Villanelle was singing, out of tune to some pop song on the radio. Her head pounded but the off-key notes put Eve at ease. Villanelle could not be good at everything and she was quite frankly a shit singer.

As she drove down the motorway, she felt the sausage roll ripped out of her mouth and accidentally swerved into another lane in surprise. A car sounded its horn at her, and she put her hand up to apologise and moved back into the right lane.

“Villanelle! You almost caused a car crash.”

Villanelle was stuffing the other half of the sausage roll into her mouth.

“You bitch.”

Villanelle laughed with her mouth full but inhaled some of the food and started coughing. Eve pulled over onto the hard shoulder and got the water out of the bag for Villanelle. Once she had sorted herself out, Eve started the car up again.

“Serves you right.”

“You weren’t eating it!” Villanelle protested.

“I can’t wait to see that on the floor once you’ve been on a few rides.” Eve pulled out onto the motorway. They only had about five minutes until they were at the hotel, anyway. They could already see the Ferris wheel on the skyline.


	5. You're going to crack before she does

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve and Villanelle head to the fair. Villanelle is determined to clean the fair out of plushies while one moment of affection is turning Eve's mind inside out as she begins to lose grip on her idea of morality.
> 
> TW notes; mentions of nausea in this chapter due to eve being a lil motion sick. nothing super graphic but just in case you're a bit icky around stuff like that.

By the time they were checked into the hotel, it was close to six in the evening. They had managed to find a place opposite where the funfair was being held on the common, so the bright lights of the amusements were visible from their window. Eve claimed the bed closest to the door, and Villanelle took the window. She was quiet with Eve, maybe annoyed that Eve had booked a twin room instead of the double she requested at the reception. She was walking around the room, running her fingers across the comforters that lie on each bed.

“This room is old-fashioned.” She complained.

“I quite like it.” Eve did. The colours were muted, it was basic but comfortable. It reminded her of her home - the one she shared with Niko. 

“Yes, but you have-”

“-bad taste, yes, I know.”

“That is really annoying when you do that.” Villanelle seemed in thought. She walked over to the window and pressed her hand against it, gazing at the funfair. She looked dreamy. Eve sat back on the bed and her body collapsed into the pillows. She really had been running on very little sleep and too much adrenaline. She rubbed her face a little too hard and pulled on the skin. Her eyes still felt heavy and fluttered shut.

“Hey! Hey! Do not fall asleep on me, Eve. We are going to the fair.” Villanelle was drumming on her bed. Eve sat up and reached for her phone. She wondered if she could negotiate an hour’s sleep from Villanelle.

“We will go at seven, there will be less children there. We can stay there until you get tired or it closes and I will play any game or go on most rides you want me to go on. Please, Villanelle, I haven’t had much sleep in the past two days and if I go now it’ll be like you dragging around a zombie. I will probably sleep through the ghost trains and rollercoasters.” 

Villanelle pulled herself up onto the window ledge and placed her head on the window, staring out.

“Fine.”

Eve set an alarm and was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. It was a deep, dreamless sleep that she was pulled out of too quickly when she heard her alarm. She groaned, - closer to a frustrated yell - and started hitting the side table where her phone was out of drowsiness. She finally felt it under her fingertips and grasped it, sitting up and staring at the screen that was blurry. She pushed the button on the side and turned the alarm off and then scanned the room for Villanelle. She had not moved from the window, still gazing at the fair.

“You snore.” Villanelle turned to Eve who was still stuck in the dazed, half asleep state after first waking up. She fought the urge to lie back down on the bed and swung her legs around so she was sitting on the edge. Eve ignored her comment as Villanelle hopped down off the windowsill. 

“Will you pass me my bag?” Eve’s arm outstretched to her overnight bag so Villanelle picked it up on her way over to Eve. She sat on her bed and watched Eve rummage through her bag for a hairbrush. Her bun had started to escape the band and as she had put up her hair wet, it would be wild when she let it down. She pulled the band out of her hair and it poofed out, surrounding her face like a mane. Eve pulled a brush through the strands, it had knotted. She did not have the energy to fix this.

Villanelle moved across the bed to sit next to Eve. She grasped the brush and manoeuvred it out of Eve’s hand.

“Turn around. Let me.”

Eve began to protest.

“Eve, I’m just brushing your hair. You’re tired. Touch up your makeup or something while I’m doing this.”

Eve turned so that her back was towards Villanelle. She felt Villanelle’s fingers run through her hair, stopping every time they snagged on a knot. Villanelle was carefully pulling apart each knot with her fingers and then running the brush through the section to catch the tiny tangles her fingers may have missed. Eve tried to apply her usual brown eyeshadow but the feeling of Villanelle’s fingers was too intense for her to focus on anything else. She managed to get a layer on and blend it out, but her heart was pounding too much and her breath was shaky. This was the first time she had been touched in months and it felt more intimate than anything she had done with anyone else. Niko never took care of her like this. The dainty touches were intoxicating. She did not want it to end. She closed her eyes and her head dropped to one side. She could hear Villanelle’s soft laugh.

“Don’t fall asleep, Eve.”

“I’m not.” Eve could imagine that she sounded unconvincing.

Villanelle continued brushing and detangling. Eve’s mind was blank. She would probably feel guilty about it later, but for now she craved the touch and needed to enjoy it. It also saved her the job of doing her hair, she would get frustrated as brushes tended to tangle it more and it would usually end with her eyes teary from pulling and a clump of hair on the brush. She thought about Villanelle’s hair and how soft and straight it was, easy to brush. She wondered what shampoo Villanelle liked to use and if she liked her hair touched as much as Eve did. Villanelle had made comments about her hair in the past, it seemed to be one of the things she enjoyed about Eve.

Villanelle’s fingertips scraped over Eve’s scalp. Was it intentional? It took all of Eve’s willpower not to ask her to do it again, or to whimper. Villanelle’s finger dragged down the middle of her hair as she separated Eve’s hair and pulled it over her shoulders. She fluffed up a little and then moved away.

“Done. Can we go now?”

Eve jumped to her feet.

“We can! I need to give you this.” Eve reached into her handbag and pulled out the phone Konstantin had given to her for Villanelle. She handed it to Villanelle who looked at it with disgust and picked it up as if it was something dirty.

“What is this? I get the shitty phone?”

“You can use mine if you need to, but this is for if we get separated so you can call me.”

  
“We could always hold hands so we don’t get separated.” Villanelle suggested. Eve snorted. 

“Do I get any money?” Villanelle asked. Eve reached for her purse and felt the familiar plastic bag she had been carrying. The note was still in her handbag. She pulled out her purse and checked the notes in there. She had stashed the envelopes in the overnight bags and also kept a roll of twenties in a keyring just in case. She had folded all but one of the prepaid cards into her clothes. She checked the notes in her purse - should be enough for Villanelle - and put it away.

“We can sort out the money when we get there. I need to get change, anyway. I just need to grab a few bits and then we can go. Feel free to freshen up and I’ll call you when I’m ready, okay?” Eve was trying to get Villanelle out of the room or just away from her so that she could hide this note. Being caught with a bloodstained note in her bag by anyone would have been problematic, and she knew that they tended to search bags to stop people from smuggling in unpaid for drinks and other things.

“Okay. But quickly. It’s already past seven.” Villanelle walked into the bathroom. Eve slipped the note into the drawer of the bedside cabinet and covered it with clothes from her overnight bag. She cleared out her handbag to make sure she did not have anything else particularly incriminating and went to the mirror to check her outfit. Her hair was perfectly styled now, sitting bouncy but not too voluminous on her shoulders. She touched a curl that was close to her face and her breath shuddered. Her touch was already filed away in her brain as a desire.

_You’re going to crack before she does_.

Eve shook the intrusive thought out of her head, grabbed a cardigan in case it got cold and shoved it into her handbag. She saw a tote bag on the handle of the bedroom door and decided to take that too. It was inevitable Villanelle would be carting home an assortment of cheap tat. With her expert shot, funfair games would be no challenge for her. She just hoped she could match some of her skill otherwise she would hear about it all night. Her mind flashed to an image of Villanelle teaching her how to hold a gun at the tin can alley. Her thigh grazing Eve’s.

_Jesus Christ_.

“Okay, I’m ready! Can we finally go?” Villanelle was dramatically gesturing towards the door. Eve swallowed and followed her to the fair.

There was a queue to get into the fair, which surprised Eve. Reluctant children were being guided out of the fair by now-penniless adults and a line of tipsy adults and older teenagers was building. Villanelle was bouncing from one foot to the other. She was impatient, pacing around in the tiny space between them and the couple in front. She bumped into the couple a few times. They were apologetic but Eve could tell that every time she made them break apart they were getting annoyed.

“Eve! We should have left earlier!” Villanelle groaned and kicked a stray can out of the barrier. Eve was not paying attention to Villanelle, not really. Her mind was still fixated on the scene that took place in the hotel. If she closed her eyes, she could still feel her hands. Why was she so obsessed over a woman that brushed her hair because she was so overtired she could not do it herself? It made very little sense to anyone else, but to Eve it felt like the most intimate thing she had ever done with someone else.

Niko was still firmly in her mind. Everything that pulled her away from Villanelle reminded her of him. Everything Villanelle did reminded her of how Niko did the opposite. Her mind was fighting. Guilt mixed with passion, anger mixed with desire. The bolshy attitude and iron grip she had on the situation in the airport, the half smile as she picked Villanelle up this afternoon and the equal tone she matched with her in their banter had slipped from her in the matter of hours. Konstantin had asked her to catch Villanelle when she fell. He did not tell her that she would be on the floor first.

No. Eve had not lost control yet and she was not going to. She had to beat Villanelle at her own game. Or games in this matter, hidden behind shining gates and sweaty teenagers who probably charged more than they should for rigged games of coconuts and rubber ducks.

“Eve! Earth to Eve!” Villanelle was shouting and jerking Eve’s shoulder. Several people were staring at them.

“Sorry that my hair took so long to do.” She flashed a smile at Villanelle and stepped forward as the line started to move. Villanelle followed her.

“It’s fine, I enjoyed it. Did you?” She had her teasing grin on. Eve knew how to disarm her though, she just needed some courage.

“Yes. I did.” Villanelle’s surprised exhale was worth swallowing a little bit of her pride.

The fair was surprisingly cheap for being in London, but Eve couldn’t imagine anyone would travel here for a fair in a field. She paid five pounds for entry for her and Villanelle and got handed a coupon for rides.

“Each coupon gives you fifty pence off a ride. Doesn’t work on games or food, though. If you use all ten it’s basically your entry fee back.” Villanelle inspected the coupons. Eve saw her eyes shine; she definitely intended to make sure that every last coupon was used. Eve had to hold out her bag to be searched, she sighed as the bottle of water she had brought for them to share had to be tossed.

“It’s just water.”

“Could be vodka.”

“Jobsworth.”

With that small interaction, they were in the fair. Eve went straight to the refreshments stall to replace the water that had been binned and swap the notes for coins while Villanelle looked around from the gate, mouth slightly open. She was spoiled for choice and was probably hunting out the best thing to win, a game she would be talented at. Something she could challenge Eve too. The wind tickled her honey hair as she locked onto something she wanted. Villanelle turned to Eve, grinning.

She looked beautifully innocent.

“Don’t you think it’s a good idea to go on the main rides first before you win out the whole fair? Remember, anything you win, you have to carry home.” Eve tried to negotiate with her as she was being pulled towards some sort of duck hooking game. Villanelle’s determination had triggered her tunnel vision. She was not listening.

“Okay. One plushie, and then we get some actual rides done. We have time, we can always come back.”

“Fine.” It was a snap.

Tin Can Alley was a breeze for Villanelle. She shot down cans without bullets to spare and a bemused man who had bragged about not giving away a prize today handed her a jumbo panda plush with a pink glittery heart around its neck. Villanelle held it with a vice grip between her arms like a hug. Eve recognised a pang of jealousy.

“How are we meant to get it onto rides?” The word ‘it’ was snarled. _You’re jealous of a fucking plushie._

“You’re just jealous-” Eve flushed, it was as if Villanelle had read her mind “-that I won something and you haven’t.” It was a false alarm. She took the coupons out of her bag and went through them; each allowed a discount on a ride but they were labelled per ride. Eve would work through them methodically, but would try to ‘lose’ the coupons for a ride called _The Big Drop._

“Okay, we have a bumper car coupon, ferris wheel, chair lift, ghost train-”

“Ghost trains are just flashing lights and puppets.”  
  


“So let’s do that one.”

“It’s boring.”

“Well, we’ll get it out of the way.”

There was no queue for the ghost train. Eve handed over the money and coupons and the attendant offered to look after Villanelle’s large bear. They were the only ones on the train, the cart so small that their knees were touching. Villanelle’s knees were jerking up and down. Eve looked over at her.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t see why we have to go on such a boring ride!” she complained.

“You might enjoy it once you get in.”

It was a standard cheap ghost train ride. Lots of flashing lights, grainy sounding laughs and screams, things that popped out every once in a while and Eve was sure at one point that they were covered in silly string. That was not what held her attention, though. What had her attention were the sharp claws that were digging into her arm and at one point, the shriek that sounded too close to be from the recording.

“Villanelle.”

“I don’t like it.”

“You can tell me, you know. You didn’t just have to say you were bored. You can talk to me if you’re uncomfortable about something.”

“I-” Eve realised she was pushing Villanelle somewhere where she wasn’t comfortable. She offered her a way out.

“You don’t have to explain. You can just hold onto me, but preferably not with your nails!” Eve felt the grip loosen up. It was replaced by a soft, feather-like material. It was Villanelle’s hair.

Once they were back in the light, Eve could see how glassy Villanelle’s eyes were. She did the honourable thing not to comment on it and instead helped her out of the cart. She found the coupons again and held one up.

“Bumper cars? I’ll let you drive.” A devilish smirk replaced the fear instantly.

This time, it was Eve’s turn to be traumatised. The ride attendant had gone through every rule about safety and banning head-on collisions. Villanelle had ignored all of them. Eve definitely had whiplash, had said sorry more times in five minutes than she had her whole life and was stupidly smitten by the laugh that came from Villanelle as she hunted out the other cars to create the biggest crash.

“Car number 15! Knock it the fuck off or you can get off. One more time!”

Eve grabbed the wheel. 

“Okay, you have to be sensible now. We still have stupid trinkets to win.”

  
Villanelle drove safely for the rest of the time on the ride.

“What do we have left?” They had stopped for drinks - Villanelle had gone for a slush puppy, Eve had bought a Pepsi - but Villanelle was starting to get agitated. She was looking around at the games.

“Ferris wheel, something called a chair lift and something else. I think we should leave the ferris wheel until last, when it gets properly dark. The views would be something.” Eve suggested.

  
“What’s ‘The Big Drop?’” Villanelle asked. Eve knew this was coming. She gestured to the pole in the middle of the fairground with a row of seats moving up and down.

“That.”

“Seems cool.”

“Seems like a bad idea.”

“If you vomit I will rub your back and hold your hair.”

“We could just not go on it.”

“But where’s the fun in that?”

Eve stood up and grabbed her bag. _Might as well get it over and done with._ She already felt a little nauseous looking at the height of the ride.

“Hey Eve?”

“What?” She turned to look at Villanelle.

“Is my tongue blue?” She stuck out her tongue to reveal a blue stripe down it.

“Yes. And your lips. You’ve got it everywhere.”

“Do you want some?” Villanelle held it out to her. Eve took it. It tasted like fake fruit and sugar but it was refreshing for her anxieties about the approaching ride.

“Thank you.”

“Stick your tongue out.”

Eve did.

“It’s blue, too.”

Eve managed to keep it in. Barely. Villanelle seemed almost disappointed while Eve felt dizzy and triumphant. She could imagine her hair, neatly styled by Villanelle was now everywhere and sticking to her due to her anxious sweat. Still, it was over now. Eve looked at the chair lift ride and could see people being thrown about while bolted into chairs. Villanelle was making a beeline towards the games and toys, and Eve was relieved.

After half an hour at the games, the tote bag, Eve’s handbag and both of their arms were filled with trinkets, cheap jewelry and plushies. Somehow Eve was carrying most of them, Villanelle only carrying the large bear she won on the first go. Eve tried her hand at the Coconut Shy and Tin Can Alley but watching Villanelle pelt down cans and coconuts with ease made Eve feel like she was not getting her money’s worth.

“I want you to win me something.” Villanelle spoke out of the blue.

  
“No chance. I’m awful at these games.”

“This one. You win all the time.” Villanelle was walking to a hook a duck game. Eve rearranged the plushie bag and followed her over.

Eve was bent over the pool holding a long, wooden stick with a hook on it. Villanelle had her hand on Eve’s back, watching her. Eve was sure that most people just grabbed a duck and walked away but she was determined to hook the best prize. She locked onto her duck, stuck the hook out and snagged it as it swum past. It had a green square painted on the bottom. The attendant held out a bin full of small green parcels, Eve picked one and handed it to Villanelle and they left.

“Well, you put your trust in me. Of course I was going to walk away with a rubbish prize.” They were heading towards their final ride now, the ferris wheel. 

Leaving any toys that did not fit into Eve’s bags with the irritated attendant, the both of them crammed into the tiny ferris wheel cart. Eve sat down while Villanelle stood, face pressed against the window, admiring the view. Once it hit its peak, the view stretched across London, from Greenwich park to the river, over to Canary Wharf. In the distance Tower Bridge was visible and the London Eye. It was late night now, close to eleven so the city was illuminated in lights. From the other side of the wheel, you could see the fair. Happy couples holding hands, drunk friends clinging on to each other for balance. There were screams from the rollercoaster - not included in the coupons - and warm smells from hotdogs and chips. Eve looked up at Villanelle. She was too distracted by the view to notice Eve gazing at her. She had brought on a small black bear and was holding it in her arms. Eve wondered if it was from the package she had won but she could see a small corner of green tissue paper hanging outside of Villanelle’s back pocket.

“It’ll fall out if you leave it in there.”

Villanelle took it out and sat down opposite Eve, stretching her legs out and resting her feet on the seat opposite, next to Eve. She looked at the paper and began picking at the tape.

“What is it, then?”

“It is a necklace with two chains and a broken heart.” Villanelle looked confused.

“What? Give it here, let me look.”

Villanelle handed over the necklace. It was two necklaces, designed to be worn by two different people. Probably made for kids, Eve thought, but the design was dainty and cute. One side of the heart was labelled ‘Best’ with a flower on it, and the other side, with a matching flower, said ‘Friends.”

“They’re friendship necklaces. You keep one side and give the other side to a friend.”

“Are we friends, Eve?”

Eve paused. On the surface, they were. They shared a hotel room, hung out at a fair, won each other prizes, looked after each other, brushed hair. However, they were both showing off to each other. This was not friendship, this was power play. They were goading the other into backing down first and giving into each other. Villanelle wanted Eve to give into her seduction, most likely but what did Eve want? Eve wanted Villanelle to break down. Eve wanted to comfort Villanelle. She wanted to know everything about her.

However, Eve needed to do the same though. The gravity of the secrets they shared were the same, the pain they shared was the same. Any normal pairing of friends would sit down and spill their secrets and grief into a bottle of wine. Eve and Villanelle were baiting each other into breaking first. There was that guilt again, but this time, Niko’s name was not attached to it.

“What does it mean to be best friends then, Eve?”

“I don’t know. Somebody to rely on, somebody to share your darkest secrets with. Somebody that would never turn on you or leave you.”

They were beginning to sound less and less friendly as the list went on.

“I want the ‘best’. You can have the ‘friends’.” Villanelle took the necklace out of Eve’s hand and put it on. Eve put the paper in her bag and put her half of the necklaces on. She needed to change the subject and fast.

“What do you want to do tomorrow? We have to leave here but I thought on the way out we could go shopping. There’s a wonderful fashion outlet at The O2. Not super designer but probably cuter stuff than we packed.”

Villanelle’s eyes glimmered.

“We can get rid of that turtleneck and put you into something nice.”

“Okay. Can we go home though, please? I’m really tired.” Eve yawned and rubbed her eyes. The lights and the moment of rest were lulling her into a doze.

“Fine. I don’t want to have to carry you back to the hotel.”

“I had a good time today, though. Despite the hangover and tiredness. I just really need to sleep, now.”

“Eve?” It was a gentle whisper.

“Yeah?” It was a sleepy slur.

“Why did you call the hotel 'home'?” Villanelle asked. Eve truly did not know. She put it down to tiredness.

“I don’t know. Figure of speech, slip of the tongue. It’s home for us tonight.”

“It’s cold.” Villanelle looked a little shaky.

“Oh, I have a cardigan. You can use it.” Eve handed the black knitted cardigan to Villanelle.

“It doesn’t go with my outfit.” She put it on anyway and draped the sleeves over her hands. She pulled in her legs and sat with her knees huddled to her chest.

They spent the rest of the ride in a comfortable silence. Eve’s head is tilted back, falling asleep while Villanelle’s head rested in her hand, gazing over the funfair.

Carrying armfuls of plushies over a muddy common was tricky in the daytime. Being overtired and staggering through the night made it a lot harder. Villanelle was skipping ahead as Eve struggled with the heavy bags, still with her arms full because they had too many. She was desperate to get to the hotel. Villanelle was about to ruin that for her. She had spotted an ice-cream van.

“Can we get ice-cream?”

“How will we hold it?”

“We can get takeaway ones. Ones in packaging”

Villanelle walked over to Eve and slipped her hand into Eve’s bag to grab her purse. Eve just focused on getting the teddies back to the hotel.

“What do you want, Eve?”

“Maybe a mint?” Villanelle frowned.

“Who actually likes mint?”

_I do._ Eve did not have the energy for another sarcastic spar.

They got the plushies up to the hotel room and a sympathetic porter had helped them. They all sat in the corner of the room, waiting to be sorted, as Villanelle and Eve sat on the floor and had their ice cream. Eve got her mint and Villanelle opted for a strawberry and vanilla cone. Eve looked at the hill of toys that kept spilling over. How would she fit that, and shopping bags in the car tomorrow?

“Once we’re able to go back, how are we going to split custody of these toys?” Eve asked Villanelle. She looked borderline offended; she had won all of them herself. Eve would have quite liked to take one as a souvenir.

“The big panda is mine. I will give you one that I don’t quite like.”

“Can I have the small panda then? Or the turtle?”

“You can have the small panda.”

“We might have to donate some.”

“No!” Villanelle’s eyes were wide. Eve laughed. She enjoyed Villanelle’s childish side. She just hoped it was not a front for the true, darker emotions she knew that were inside Villanelle.

“Did you ever see that picture of the divorced couple sharing the beanie babies?”

“What?”

Eve pulled the image up on her phone. It was sometime in the nineties, a couple had divorced and had to share out their beanie babies in a court.

A message popped up on her phone. 

_Do I ask?_

_Villanelle won the entire fair. We’re just debating how to split up her haul._

_Save one for me. It’s my money you two are spending._

Eve smiled at her phone. She doubted Villanelle would spare even the tag for Konstantin at this point.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Oh, just how they look in a court while splitting up plushies.”

Eve looked up at Villanelle. She had a speck of ice cream on her lip. Before even thinking, Eve reached out and swiped the ice cream away from Villanelle’s lip, but her mind came back to her when she saw the ice cream on her thumb. She did not want to look up because she knew on Villanelle’s face would be another dumb, seductive grin that would make her lose herself.

“So what are you going to do with that?” 

_Stick it in your mouth. Stick it in her mouth. You have options._

Eve wiped her hand on her trousers. Villanelle stuck her ice cream in front of Eve’s face.

“If you want a taste, here.”

“I’m good, thanks, Here, have mine. I really need to sleep.” She handed her ice cream to Villanelle.

Eve changed out of her trousers and turtleneck into some shorts and an oversized tee, well aware that Villanelle was watching her get changed. She flicked the light off and climbed into her bed, the necklace still around her neck.

“Today was nice. Don’t stay up too late. Sleep well, Villanelle.” Her voice was heavy with sleep. She felt Villanelle throw the small panda at her and picked it up to tuck it in next to her.

“Night, Eve.”

Sometime in the night, Eve felt a small bump next to her bed. It was enough to stir her but she drifted off pretty quickly. She was woken up at three in the morning by blue flashing lights through the window. Eve looked down next to her to see Villanelle curled up beside her with the big panda in the middle of them both. She was wearing her underwear and Eve’s cardigan. Eve sighed. She probably wasn’t getting that back. Villanelle still had the necklace on, too.

It was only when she realised Villanelle’s close proximity to her that she realised what she had done. Villanelle had rolled the beds together so they were touching.

_It’s way too early to react to this._ So, Eve copied Villanelle’s position and curled up next to the panda, throwing an arm over its legs and using the foot as a pillow. She felt the warm touch of fingertips in her hair as she drifted back into sleep.

  
  



	6. I want to go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve and Villanelle go shopping together but things quickly turn sour once Villanelle asks some heated questions, driving them into a deadlock.

“Do you think the right way to pronounce it is ‘scone’ as in ‘gone’ or ‘scone’ as in ‘cone’?” Eve asked Villanelle as she held up a scone in her hands, inspecting it. She had been saddled with the raisin scones as Villanelle had grabbed one, picked all of the raisins out and caused such a mess that Eve swapped her spare plain scones for Villanelle’s raisin.

They were at the hotel, it was early afternoon. It had taken them an hour and a half just to pack the car with the extra luggage and the boot was fit to burst. Eve was anxious about the shopping purely because by the time Villanelle would be done, there would be no room left in the car. She needed to discreetly move the plushies from the car and into a child’s hand, or something. They had decided to eat here before going shopping; Villanelle had never had afternoon tea before and Eve enjoyed the novelty of it and being able to actually afford it, for once.

“I don’t really care.” Villanelle had her mouth full with half a scone loaded with jam and cream. Eve had gotten used to this trait she seemed to have. Perhaps it was to do with being a psychopath, she had no awareness of social norms or what was polite in public. She looked around, it was busy but everyone seemed engrossed in their conversations. There were a lot of older people here. She supposed most people were at work, it was a Thursday, after all.

Eve took a sip of her lemon tea. Villanelle definitely did not have any awareness of what was proper. She had specifically booked a twin room for them so they did not have to share a bed. What she had woken up to was the both of them a tangle of limbs in the middle of two twin beds, the pressure of them both beginning to separate the beds. She had flinched back. Villanelle just seemed confused.

_ You’re acting like you didn’t move closer when she started playing with your hair, though. _ Eve buried the antagonistic thought. She was getting a lot of those, lately.

“Say it, then.”

“What?”

“Say the word.” Eve was deliberately not saying the word ‘scone’ so that Villanelle would not copy her pronunciation. Villanelle’s response was a frustrated, closed-mouth sound. She was still scoffing as much of the afternoon tea as she could, she had definitely swiped some of Eve’s sandwiches.

“Villanelle.”

“Scone.” Villanelle’s ‘e’ was short. Eve tried to picture her saying the other pronunciation in her thick, Russian accent and it seemed off.

“I agree. The other pronunciation just seems like something posh people do to sound more fancy. So, do you put the cream on first or the jam?” Eve asked as she was smearing cream on to half of one of the raisin scones.

“Why does it matter? It’s just food!” Villanelle was dramatically annoyed now. She reached out and took the strawberry tart from the cake dish that Eve was eyeing. Truthfully, Eve did not really know what to talk about. They had exhausted the discussion of their daily plans down to the bone this morning and there was not much left to really discuss.

Well, they could discuss why they woke up in each other’s arms. Or the trauma of losing their families. Eve thought that was a bit too heavy for light lunchtime conversation. She took a bite out of her scone and gazed at the others around her as Villanelle continued to work her way through the cakes.

“I can’t wait to get you out of that blouse.”

Eve spluttered on her scone. She frowned and looked back to Villanelle who was downing a glass of water. The dry cakes must have caught up to her. Eve was protesting, stuttering.

“We will find something so much better for you today. I am looking forward to getting rid of your clothes.”

Eve looked down at her blouse. It was a cream, chiffon number she had bought for work a few years ago when she wanted to be a bit more daring, but due to the low V neckline, she had never worked up the courage to wear it. It was flowy and comfortable, she had tucked it into some black trousers. Her hair was down and fluffy, she was letting it air dry from the shower this morning. Villanelle had a cobalt blue dress on with a floral pattern that skimmed her knees. Konstantin tried to replicate her style with what he bought her but it didn’t quite suit her.

“You liked my cardigan.” Eve was trying in vain to put Villanelle on the spot. 

“It was very comfy to sleep in. You liked the panda.”

“He made a good pillow.”

Eve took the leftover coffee cake to go and paid the bill. She and Villanelle walked to where the car was parked, it was only to be a ten minute trip, if that. As Eve got in the car, she noticed the crumpled up packet of cigarettes and sighed. It was nearing a day since her last one and the cravings were really beginning to kick in. It would get worse if Villanelle pushed her too much further.

Or maybe one addiction was replacing the other. Who knows, at this point? She had already thrown her guilt for Niko to the gutter as soon as those hands were in her hair.

“Eve. What’s on your mind?”

_ The fact that I got horny as soon as you touched my hair. _

“The fact that you’re probably going to clear out the money we have with this shopping trip. Remember, this does have to last us.” Eve answered.

“How long is this trip anyway?”

_ Until you break down and confess everything about your family and we know what The Twelve are planning. _

“No idea. I haven’t heard from Konstantin.” Eve started the car. Villanelle usually went silent when Eve started driving and even ten minutes of silence would be quite nice right now, Eve considered. She was sure Villanelle would be distracted by shiny clothing as soon as they stepped foot on the glittery stairs up to the outlet.

Which did not quite go to plan. Eve and Villanelle were circling around the busy car park and Eve was beginning to get annoyed. She gave into her instinctive habit of reaching for the cigarette packet and threw it down on the floor by Villanelle when she remembered it was destroyed. Finally though, she saw a space. Until she approached and saw that a Mini had taken it.

“Fuck!”

“Eve, are you alright?” Even Villanelle, used to unpredictable outbursts, was concerned about Eve. She tried to pass it off as just general annoyance and the heat.

“Yes. I’m sorry. I’m just a bit nervous because we don’t really have a plan after this.” A lie, of course.

“We can make a plan over dinner.”

“Okay. There’s a really nice Thai food place close to the outlet. We can go there.”

“Over there, Eve.”

Within an hour of being at the outlet, Eve was balancing four bags on each arm. Villanelle had been respectful of what she thought Eve’s concerns were and left a beautiful bag in Radley’s and avoided Aspinals, although Eve saw that her eyes lingered there for longer than she wanted to admit. They had stopped in The Body Shop and Calvin Klein for some toiletries and underwear, Eve had picked up a document holder and two lunchboxes in Cath Kidston and Villanelle had bought some jeans from Levis and a few dresses from Phase Eight and Hobbs. Eve had found a blouse she liked but tried to put it back until she noticed it in one of the bags she was holding. She was going through the receipt from Phase Eight and adding it to her calculator. Eve was proud of herself for managing to keep up the concerned act and Villanelle seemed to believe her.

Villanelle had skipped ahead to Ted Baker, she had spotted a dress that had caught her eye. It was not really what she thought Villanelle’s style was. It was a white halterneck dress with soft pastels running through it. Next to it was a deep green turtleneck dress with a stiff, flowy skirt.

“I think you would look good in it.” Villanelle said. She looked Eve up and down and smiled.

“Which one?”

“Not the green turtleneck dress.”

“I like them both, actually.”

“Fine, you can buy the tacky turtleneck dress but you have to get the white one, too.” Villanelle had already walked through the doors of Ted Baker, beckoning Eve in with her. She had already noticed a jumpsuit she had liked and once Eve had caught up with her, walked straight over to the rail.

“This is the last shop, though. We have to get dinner.”

“Would you like us to hold your bags, ma’am?” A store clerk asked, gesturing to the side of the till. There was nobody else in the store but them and Eve took the offer gratefully. She asked about the two dresses in the window and was pointed in the direction of them both. The white dress was thin, light and breezy while the green dress was made of a thicker material and would be good for the evenings. Eve looked at the size chart on the wall - Ted Baker had their own sizes - and went over to find Villanelle, who had a few things hanging off her arm.   


“I think we should try these on. The sizing seems different here.”

Villanelle nodded.

The green dress suited Eve. It was comfortable and somewhat like what she usually wore, just a bit more glammed up. It would be useful for work, too, if she ever returned to an office-type job. A practical purchase, and as much as Villanelle protested, this one was staying. The white dress Eve was not so sure about. It looked lovely but the halterneck was something she avoided usually. She looked in the mirror at herself. It fit well in the waist, but with the type of bra she had on, she could not quite judge it. Eve took the dress off and unclipped her bra to try it on without, it was flowing enough to not need as much support. She dropped the bra onto the bench.

Villanelle pulled back the curtain to Eve’s dressing room and posed in the black jumpsuit with an embossed black floral pattern. She looked stunning, that was obvious.

“What do you thin- woah, Eve.” Villanelle tilted her head in appreciation and pulled the curtain around them. Eve turned to face away from Villanelle but with mirrors on all sides in the dressing room, she could still see Villanelle checking her out.

“Do you need help with your dress?” Villanelle leant over Eve to pick up the white halterneck, draped over the bench.

“Arms up.”

Eve obeyed and Villanelle helped lay the dress on her. She pulled it down and pulled Eve’s hair out of the neckline and pushed it forward. Eve looked at herself in the mirror. Somehow, with Villanelle putting the dress on her, she actually looked pretty. It was comfortable, too. She could imagine wearing this to the beach one evening with Villanelle once they got to Littlehampton. Eve did consider the money, it was not really something she needed. She remembered Konstantin though, specifically requesting that she let Villanelle make her over. It must have been something Villanelle mentioned to him about her at some point. How much did Villanelle talk about her to Konstantin?

“It looks beautiful on you. Great tits, by the way.”

That earned Villanelle a hard shove out of the curtain by Eve. The dress found its way to the till, however.

Dinner was relaxed. They shared some lotus root crisps and side dishes of seasoned vegetables and both ordered different types of pad Thai. They tried each other’s food and Eve sipped on Villanelle’s cocktail - sticking to water herself because she was driving. She was not the biggest fan of Villanelle’s overly sweet fruit martini. The waiter offered them a complimentary glass of Prosecco with their meal and they toasted their successful couple of days together. One glass would be okay.

“This feels like a date.” Villanelle remarked. Eve had learned by now not to get riled at Villanelle’s flirtatious comments.

“Hm.”

“Did you used to do things like this with your husband?” Eve’s eyes widened. In fact, the reason she knew this place was so good was because she would often meet Niko here after work on Fridays for a meal and drinks with friends. She lived in West London with him, but due to her work and a lot of her friends being Stratford natives, she spent a lot of time in the South and East parts of London. She had attended concerts here with Niko too, intimate small gatherings in the Indigo, listening to live bands that he loved and she did not know much about, but wanted to support him anyway.

“Villanelle, can I make a rule?”

“I probably won’t follow it but go ahead.”

“Talking about Niko is off limits. I mean it.”

Villanelle picked at the few crisps in the bottom of the pot.

“Are you divorced from him yet?”

“We were...aren’t divorced.” Eve’s sadness turned into fury. She had never signed the papers. A part of her wanted to believe that he still wanted her.

“But you were going to, right?”

“How do you know?”

  
“Konstantin said I ruined your marriage and made the Moustache go to Poland.”

“Did he now?” Eve sat back and folded her arms. Of course Konstantin had done some digging about her but she did not expect Villanelle to have been told.

“Are you angry, Eve?” Villanelle asked. She was leaning forward, arms resting on the table. She had her usual cold, piercing gaze back on. Eve’s breath caught in her throat. This was turning into another cat-and-mouse moment.

“At Konstantin, a little. At you, no.”

“But I ruined your marriage?”

_ Yes, you did. _

“I ruined my marriage.” Eve did not want to believe it.

“I will ask again, Eve. Why did Konstantin send you to come and pick me up?” Eve unfolded her arms. A few hours ago, Villanelle was sparring with her over food and her fashion sense. Last night, Villanelle had moved her bed closer to Eve’s and had laid a hand over her body. She put it down to Villanelle’s guard switching. Maybe Eve was beginning to break them down?

“I don’t know. He turned up at a party I was at on Wednesday and invited me to dinner and asked me to take you away from London for a holiday. He said you needed a break, or something. I liked the sound of a holiday and the money was pretty nice, too. I wasn’t at work so I had the time to do it, nobody else could.”

“I would have run away from anybody else.” Villanelle interjected.

“I guess there’s that, too. But yeah, that’s why.” She had cut away some parts of the truth, but it wasn’t a bold faced lie. Right?

“I suppose he is angry at me.”

“Why?”

“I made a mess out of something he gave me.” Villanelle’s voice trembled, if only for a second.

“Oh?”   


“My rule. If you don’t talk about your husband, I don’t talk about work.” They had hit a deadlock. Both were not going to budge.

“Okay. Let’s get the bill. I know a good place for bubble tea here. Then we need to drive.”

They walked to the bubble tea cafe in silence, a small distance between them. The tension in the air made Eve’s chest ache. She watched a full day’s worth of progress unravel between them and twist on the floor. Villanelle was stony-faced and refused to look at Eve. Eve considered going over the bubble tea menu to try and pique Villanelle’s food interest but decided against it. When they reached the cafe, Villanelle sat down on the bench outside.

“What do you want? I can recommend something but the menu can be quite complicated if you haven’t had it before…” Eve trailed off, looking at her feet.

“Surprise me, Eve."

“Milk or fruit tea?”

“Milk sounds good.”

Eve picked out another lemon tea for her and a caramel milk tea for Villanelle. She stuck with the regular sweetness for her but toned down her own tea. She hoped that maybe the chewy pearls would calm Villanelle down, one thing she had noticed was that Villanelle often found comfort in textures like that. When she was anxious, she would chew on a straw or on the ear of a bear, for example. Eve did the same at Niko’s wake. She would bite down hard enough that it would pierce the straw and hurt her teeth. The physical pain would overwhelm and distract her mind from the burning thoughts ripping her brain apart.

She took the bag off the clerk and went outside to the bench where Villanelle was waiting. Nobody was there. She spun around on her heel.

“Villanelle?”

There was no answer. She peered around the corner. There was still no Villanelle.

The first call of Villanelle’s name was a puzzled question. By three minutes of disappearance, Eve’s calls were frantic screams. She was running up and down the curve of the outlet trying to find Villanelle. People looked behind at her as she ran past, a few people even tried to stop her to ask what was wrong but she just mumbled something she did not even understand and ran past them. She was bolting towards the exit of the building. She had to stop Villanelle before she had left. Eve’s mind was churning. Should she have been honest at dinner? Told Villanelle everything? About the deal she had struck with Konstantin, Niko’s murder, The Twelve’s annoyance, the fact that she knew about her family and still accepted her because of it? She also had growing feelings she was beginning to finally accept defeat from, overwhelming her at this point by mixing with her fears. She was also panicked about Villanelle’s safety. Villanelle leaving her meant that she would be walking straight into The Twelve and while she did not know, Konstantin’s implication was that they were pissed and wanted to punish Villanelle. She was their star assassin, but were they ruthless enough to dispose of her? So many questions. Too many questions.

The bags were in the way. Eve considered dropping them but that would draw more attention than she already was - running through a building while screeching a name was not the most subtle. She tried to find her mobile to call Villanelle as she reached the main entrance. Villanelle turned to face her, frowned and turned back to whatever she was looking at. Eve stopped and pressed herself against the wall to regain her breath. She looked up to where Villanelle’s eyes were looking.

It was an advertisement for an Elton John concert. She had walked off to go and look at Elton John.  _ For fuck’s sake, Villanelle. _

Villanelle walked over to the wall Eve was bracing herself on. Eve felt a tear drip from her eye and roll down her cheek. She let it. She wanted Villanelle to see how distressed she was. Maybe she’d take some sick pleasure in it but Villanelle reached out and swiped the tear off her cheek with her thumb. She picked up some of the bags and shifted them on her arm.

“I want to go.”

“You can’t.” One word took a breath. Eve reached out for Villanelle’s hand to hold her in place.

“We can wait one more day. It’s tomorrow, I want to go and see Elton John.”

Eve burst into disbelieving laughter. Since when was Villanelle into Elton John?

“What’s funny?” It was a snap.

“No, I just...no, don’t worry. I’ll see what I can do. We have to go on Saturday, though.”

They had a handful of tickets left when Eve approached the box office. The assistant looked at Eve’s flustered face with concern, but did not say anything and just handed over the tickets. They were seated tickets, middle floor. Inconspicuous enough for them both but still a good show. She waved them in front of Villanelle’s eyes before popping them into her bag. They walked back to the car, put the bags away and got in. Eve did not drive away just yet, though.

“Eve?” Villanelle’s voice was tender.

“What?”

“Why did you scream like that?”

“I thought you had run off.”

“No, but…”

“Say it.”

  
  
“Don’t get angry.”

“Just say it.”

“The last time I heard you scream a name like that was when I killed your friend in Berlin.”

Eve clicked her seatbelt in and drove. The window seemed a little blurry to her.

The twin room had been taken when they got back to the hotel, but there was a double room available. Eve didn’t see the point in arguing, especially with Villanelle there. They had decided not to unpack the car apart from essentials. Villanelle headed up first with the bags full of toiletries and the stuff from Ted Baker. Eve hung around in the foyer to pay for the hotel. She had booked the room for two nights, just in case. They should be heading out on Saturday morning at the latest. They had both agreed.

Eve had a text from Konstantin.

_ Why are you still in London? _

She called him.

“Eve.” It was straight to the point.

“We have to stay another day or two.”

“You are beginning to push it. It is not safe.”

“She refused to leave. I had to negotiate with her.”

“You are handing her too much power.” She heard Konstantin sigh. Little did he know that she already had every last bit of power over Eve.

“She ran away from me. I had to catch up with her.”

“Okay.” He conceded. “How is everything going?”

“Fine. We both agreed not to talk about our families after she kept mentioning Niko at dinner.”

“Eve, I do not think you understand why I sent you with Villanelle. It wasn’t just to get her to open up to you. It was for you, too.”

Eve bit her lip as her eyes welled up. Konstantin continued.

“I think it would be good for you two to actually be friends, or something. Also, if they want her, they probably want you, too. You are both at risk, but also, I think you two suit each other. You both are going through the same thing. Try opening up to her. She is maybe not as psychopathic as she says she is. She’s just hurt.”

“Okay.” It was a shaky reply.

“When are you leaving?”

“Saturday morning at the latest.”

“I will update you if there is an emergency. Goodnight, Eve.” Konstantin hung up, and Eve hugged her phone to her chest, clinging onto Konstantin’s comfort.

Villanelle was already asleep when Eve went to the room. The lights were off and she was wrapped up in Eve’s cardigan. Eve went over to Villanelle’s overnight bag. She checked if Konstantin had packed pyjamas, and at the bottom was a couple of pairs of shorts with matching shirts and a nightdress. She had enough to sleep in and it was more luxurious than her worn-out knit. Eve watched her chest rise and fall. She watched her as Villanelle hugged the cardigan around her and inhaled. She shook off the curiosity rising.

Eve brushed her teeth, changed into an old shirt and climbed in next to Villanelle. She looked down at her and her eyes started swimming. Villanelle was asleep and she was overwhelmed by the last day and a half. Eve let herself feel for the first time in over a week. She clutched her hand to her mouth to try and stifle the sob but it still came out as a quiet whimper and a shaky breath as tears ran down her face. She looked at Villanelle again and saw that she had the small panda tucked into the cardigan. Eve remembered yesterday - what went wrong? What went so wrong that they went from friends to strangers again? Their banter had turned into malicious digs.

_ Friends. _

Eve reached for her neck. She had forgotten the cheap necklace was still there. She had taken it off to shower but had clipped it back on once it was dry, it had filled the space of her deep-cut blouse, she told herself. She tentatively brushed her fingers over the cardigan on Villanelle to pull it back. In the moonlight, the cheap metal caught and glimmered. She still had hers on too, and Eve had not noticed. Things were becoming normal too quickly.

She felt a hand squeeze her thigh. Eve pressed her own hand to her mouth to stop the gentle sounds of her sadness from spilling. She saw Villanelle take a deep breath in and her soft snoring overtook as the loudest sound. Eve put her hand on top of Villanelle’s hand, barely touching, but Villanelle turned her hand over and grasped Eve’s.

That was how they fell asleep. Hand in hand.


	7. Come on, let's make memories!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite their argument, Villanelle and Eve head to the Elton John concert. Eve dwells on the past, things get heated and Crocodile Rock will never be the same.

Crying until Eve fell asleep made for an uncomfortable awakening. The sun was bright and her eyes were tight. Her nose was sore and her head pounded. Eve pulled the duvet over her head and groaned, burying her head back into the pillow. It was suspiciously quiet. Eve peeked out of the duvet to see that there was no Villanelle next to her. She sat up, wincing. Villanelle was not in the hotel room.

“Not again. Not fucking again, Villanelle.” Eve swore as she spun her legs around and threw back the duvet. The overnight bags were still there with the shopping bags from yesterday. Eve checked the ensuite, Villanelle was nowhere to be seen. She went back over to the bed to get her phone, but next to it she saw a glass of water and one of the notebooks she had bought, open. She looked at the page and saw the familiar loopy handwriting that she knew as Villanelle’s.

_Gone to get some breakfast in town. I’ll bring you back something. I have my phone so you can call me. I haven’t run off. X_

Eve ran her finger over the swirly letters. She considered calling Villanelle but was still tender from the night before so climbed back into bed. Next to the notebook was a leaflet of local hotspots. The address of a bakery was circled. She put the leaflet back down and grabbed her phone to check the time. It was around eleven. No messages. No missed calls. Eve’s eyes were heavy so she gave into the weight and crashed out, curled up underneath her duvet. She did not have to face the world quite yet. The concern about Villanelle was there but for once, she needed to trust her.

The sound of a bubbling kettle pulled Eve from her sleep. She could hear plates clattering about, gentle footsteps and pouring water. It was relaxing. If she hid under the blankets for long enough she could pretend that last night had not happened, that it was a date and this was the morning after. That they were just two good friends, or maybe more than friends on a holiday together. Eve heard something being placed on the table beside her and felt the bed dip. She feigned sleep but her breathing most likely gave her away.

“Afternoon, Eve.” A finger wrapped around the edge of her duvet-shield and pulled it away. She blinked to try and clear her eyes. Villanelle was looking over her, wearing a red summer dress and a ridiculous oversized straw hat. Eve did not remember the hat from Konstantin or even their shopping trip yesterday. She must have got sidetracked in town. She was holding a plate with a croissant on it and pushed it towards Eve.

Eve sat up and took the plate. She reached for the mug next to her and could smell the warm lemon aroma coming out of the cup. She blew on the drink and sipped it. It burned but it was what she needed, she was impressed that Villanelle remembered what she had at tea yesterday. She pulled apart the croissant but had very little appetite. She took a small piece in her mouth but it made her feel ill, even though it was beautifully baked and buttery.

“Eve, you need to eat. All you’ve done is pick at your food while we’ve been here.”

Eve pushed the plate away from her and rubbed her eyes. She took the mug into her hands and hugged it to her chest. The smell was welcoming and the warmth was nice. The steam made her face feel a little less tight with the remnants of her tears. She wiped her eye with her hand.

“Sorry, I don’t feel great. My face is really sore, I think I might be coming down with something.”

Villanelle got off the bed and went into the ensuite. She could hear water running and then Villanelle came out holding a damp washcloth which she handed to Eve, swapping it for the mug. Eve took it and wiped down her face as Villanelle took a sip of the tea and grimaced, Eve supposed sour tastes were not really her thing, most of her choices had been overly sugary and very sweet. They switched back and Villanelle put the cloth in the bathroom before returning to the bed.

“Thank you.”

“Crying yourself to sleep will dry out your face and make you feel worse in the morning.”

Obviously Villanelle had heard her. Eve knew she was not fooling anyone by trying to hide. She just thought Villanelle would ignore her, the sweet gesture of a hand being the only subtle comfort she could give.

“I’m sorry. Did I disturb you?”

“No.”

  
“I just got a bit overwhelmed and was feeling a bit homesick…”

“Eve.” The call of her name was harsh.

“What?” Villanelle leant closer to her, centimetres were between their faces.

“How many lies do you think we have told each other on this trip?” She held Eve’s shocked gaze for a few seconds and pulled away. Eve bit her lip and stared at the wall. She could pick out Villanelle’s warning behind the words. _You don’t have to talk about it but stop lying to me._

“Although I wasn’t lying when I said you had great tits.” Ever the humorous Villanelle. Eve wanted to be angry but she could not stop a smile.

“So, while you were asleep I cleaned out the car and took the toys to a charity shop. I kept a few but we can actually see the back seats of your car now. I kept some of the accessories I won and put them in a small bag, you can take any you like but they’re all pretty cheap.” Villanelle had moved across the room to where the little kitchenette was and rummaged through a plastic bag. Eve was amazed, Villanelle seemed so keen on keeping all of the tat she had clawed from the amusement vendors. She could still see the lights from their window and was surprised Villanelle had not asked to go back. Maybe Eve was the immature one of the two, still hiding behind false pretence. Villanelle had dropped her childish act. Was she warming to Eve?

“I also took some of the clothes there, too. Some of the stuff Konstantin gave me was too small or really not cute.”

“You didn’t take any of my stuff there, did you?” Eve might have just thrown a few outfits into the bag but she was very attached to her wardrobe and her Uniqlo clothes were expensive. It may not look it but her wardrobe was carefully curated for convenience.

Villanelle was silent.

“Villanelle.” 

She grinned. Villanelle had not dropped her childish act.

“No, of course not Eve, I knew you would be cross. But charity shops are great! They smell a bit but are great for accessories. So much cool stuff! This hat was only two pounds.” Villanelle held up her oversized straw hat with glee. She had definitely not dropped her childish act. Maybe it was not even an act.

_For a reason._ Well, at least Eve’s mind did not just reserve the sassy comments for herself.

Villanelle took something out of the bag and threw it at Eve. It landed neatly in her lap, ever the precise assassin Villanelle was. It was a box of cigarettes, the same brand as the pack that she had screwed up a couple of days ago. It should have made Eve happy but it just pricked at her mind even more.

“Do you think the reason I am stressed is because I haven’t had a cigarette in two days?”

“No, but I know you like to hide behind them.” Villanelle was chipping away at Eve’s guard but could still maintain hers with ease. Eve threw off the covers and walked into the bathroom.

“I’m going to start getting ready for tonight.” She slammed the bathroom door behind her.

The hotel room had been transformed into a mess. Between the both of them, clothes had been thrown everywhere, every counter was covered in hair and makeup products and they were beginning to step on each other’s toes. They had both opted for their new Ted Baker purchases; Villanelle, the black embossed utility suit and Eve wore the green turtleneck dress. She was in front of the mirror in the hotel bedroom now, clipping on the necklace. Villanelle had kept hers on, too.

“I wish that dress didn’t have a turtleneck. It would look so beautiful with a bardot neckline.”

“Bardot?” Eve did not know much about fashion.

“Off the shoulder.”

Eve was inclined to agree. She looked in her makeup bag for the lipsticks she had brought. She paired the dress with her usual dark liner and a red lipstick. Villanelle took the lipstick out of her hands when she was done with it and applied it on her own lips.

“I thought you weren’t meant to share lipsticks.” Eve looked at Villanelle. It suited her, and she did not care, but could not resist a little dig. 

“Well, we’ve kissed before.”

Eve pressed her lips together. _I swear to God._ She reached for a hairband.

“No.” Villanelle took it.

“What is with you and me having my hair down?”

“It suits you better, I think.”

Eve looked at her phone. They had about an hour and a half before doors opened and while it was close, they still had to get through security. She thought of her bag. She needed to clear it again. Eve took her overnight bag and slipped the excess cash and the bloodstained note into her overnight bag while Villanelle fiddled with her hair. She went through her purse and kept a couple of the cards and some notes, but not enough to draw suspicion. She put the lipstick in her bag and packed some plasters and some mints. It looked like a normal bag, right?

“Are you driving?” Villanelle came over to Eve with her car keys in hand. Eve looked at them and put them in the drawer.

“No, parking will be a nightmare. The bus is quicker and it means we can drink.” Eve headed towards the door.

“Eve, wait?”

“Hm?”

Villanelle spritzed Eve with some of the rose perfume they had bought in The Body Shop. It was a light, inoffensive scent.

“Perfect. Let’s go.”

  
  
The bus was busy with commuters wanting to head home and partygoers heading into the city. They had managed to find themselves two seats on the upper deck and sat down. The bus was silent apart from the sound of music coming from headphones and the laughter of a tipsy group downstairs. Eve took the window, Villanelle took the aisle. They chatted a little about the upcoming concert and the surroundings, but it was just small talk.

The fact that they were on a bus and Eve was so deeply affected by it annoyed her. It was just a bus. She used one almost every day to get to certain places. Was it the company? The fact that she was sitting in almost the same spot where she had launched herself out of the chair screaming last time made her lips tingle. She put a finger to them, but remembered the lipstick and looked at the smudge on her finger.

“So, Elton John. I didn’t think he’d be your type of music.”

“I danced to his music one night. It was fun to sing along to. What did you think would be my type of music?”

“Heavy metal.” Villanelle frowned and pulled away.

  
  
“I’m joking, I always pictured you swanning around your Parisian apartment to classical music.” Eve was not wrong.

“Can I do something, Eve?” Villanelle stood up and started walking down the bus. It was still moving. Eve got up to follow her.

  
“No, no, you have to stay there.” She swung backwards on the pole before continuing, bouncing down the stairs. Some of the newspapers that the commuters were reading were beginning to be lowered. Villanelle was drawing attention. Eve put her head in her hand. She knew what Villanelle was doing.

  
Villanelle skipped towards her, swinging from pole to pole effortlessly. She braced her hands on the two that were near their seat and smiled at her.

“Hi Eve.”

“You’re not funny, you know that?”

Villanelle turned to a man who was watching the conversation.

“Last time I did this she punched me in the face and then kissed me.” The man snorted and she winked at him.

Eve twisted her fingers around Villanelle’s arm and pulled her back onto the seat. She was mortified. Villanelle was laughing.

“So, do I not get anything else? Just a dig in the arm?”

“No.”

  
  
“Come on, Eve.”

Eve folded her arms and looked out of the window. Villanelle slumped against her.

“What I am trying to say is that I think we should talk about it.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. It was a distraction to get you off me and it worked.”

“I don’t want to believe that, Eve.” Villanelle sounded hurt. 

They had taken their seats in the arena. Eve filled two glasses with rosè from the bottle they had decided to share. Villanelle seemed unsettled, her eyes were darting around the theatre methodically, she twitched at each person who seemed to move. In an arena that held twenty-thousand people, this was a common occurrence.

“Relax, we still have ten minutes until the show starts. You won’t miss anything.” Eve was already topping up her wine. She was an anxious drinker but made a show of pouring a drop into Villanelle’s glass and handing it to her. Villanelle left the glass untouched.

“I’ll drink your glass, too.” Eve threatened.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea. I don’t want to have to carry you on the bus.” Villanelle warned but there was an edge of care to her voice. She took a sip of the wine but was still scanning the crowds. Most people were settling down, the show was getting ready to start in a matter of moments. Eve could see the final touches being put on the stage, lights were being tested and people were beginning to sing along.

“I don’t know many Elton John songs. I used to sing ‘Don’t go breaking my heart’ with Bill a lot at Friday night karaoke, though.”

“Did you and Bill ever…” Villanelle could not finish the question.

“Oh. No, God no. He was more into men. He seemed more interested in trying to get me to experiment with women.”

“Did you ever?” Villanelle turned to look at her now, there was obvious interest in her eyes. Her mouth hung open ever so slightly and Eve exhaled through her nose.

“No. I was married to Niko the whole time I knew Bill. I did suggest the idea to Niko once when we were drunk but he didn’t talk to me for two days.” Eve turned to the stage. The lights were beginning to dim. There was hesitant cheering every time there was a flicker of movement on the stage.

Eve rolled the stem of the wine glass in her hand. She had definitely thought about women before but not truly until Villanelle had come into her life. Her obsession first started as a fan, and then out of bloody revenge when she took Bill from her. She thought back to Niko’s departure and Rome. Villanelle was there through that. She had watched her and Niko have sex for the last time after she had gone to see him. He had pinned her to the bed by her throat and had her way with her and she loved it. Eve didn’t find out until later, but it made it more thrilling, even though she should have been annoyed.

  
Rome was an entirely different story. She had sex with Hugo while listening to Villanelle get herself off. Villanelle did not know if Eve ever reciprocated that moment, or that Hugo was involved - although by his comment, he did enjoy the threesome. She was relieved that Villanelle did not have yet another thing to hold over her.

The arena erupted in applause and there was a cheerful ‘hello!’ from the stage. The concert had started and Elton John was starting with classics. Eve bopped her head along somewhat however she did not know much about his music, she was never a particularly pop-enthused person. Her and Niko often spent their time at pubs listening to obscure, experimental indie music or Polish bands that Niko enjoyed. She enjoyed the cheese and glamour that came with things like Eurovision which she watched religiously every year, so she could appreciate Elton John. He took a place in a fond memory with her and her best friend, after all. She sat back and enjoyed her wine as Villanelle sat there rigid. She looked uncomfortable.

By the time Crocodile Rock - the only song of Elton’s that Eve knew apart from her duets with Bill - rolled around, Eve had finished the bottle of wine without Villanelle touching up her glass once. She still had not moved. The rest of the crowd were dancing along, most out of their seats, cheering and clapping with a few screams of ‘we love you, Elton!’ As he announced the song, Eve stood up.

“Oh, I know this one! Come on Villanelle, you wanted to be here and you haven’t even sung once. Come on, come on!” Eve took Villanelle’s hand and pulled her up, putting her wine glass down and taking her other hand, swinging them. Villanelle did not resist, but she was not quite enthusiastic, either.

“Eve, you’re drunk.”

“Good thing we got the bus, then. Come on, let’s make memories!”

_La! La la la la la._

The crowd was chanting it, Eve was singing along. She was swinging her and Villanelle’s hands and swaying her hips.

_La la la la la!_

Villanelle was still standing there. Eve was still singing enthusiastically, her face close to Villanelle’s own face. To her, she just looked like a drunk old woman trying to embarrassingly live out her glory days or she was putting too much pressure on Villanelle.

_La la la la la!_

Villanelle started singing along, moving her face closer to Eve’s. She was shouting the sounds and she even put a bit of effort into swinging her arms with Eve, as if it were a competition. They bobbed along to the verse, until the audience burst back into song. 

_La! La la la la la._

Eve was not singing this time. She had dropped one of Villanelle’s hands and cupped her cheek. Villanelle frowned at her.

_La la la la la!_

She caressed Villanelle’s cheek with her thumb, gazing into her eyes. She dropped her eyes to Villanelle’s lips.

“Eve.”

_La la la la la!_

Eve leaned in and kissed her. She had closed her eyes. It was nothing like the bus, where she kept her eyes open to assert power over Villanelle. This was the opposite, this was giving into her. Her feelings were cards on the table now, and the next move was Villanelle’s. 

But she wasn’t reciprocating. She didn’t even move. Behind her closed eyes, Eve could feel a sting.

_La! La la la la la._

Villanelle dropped Eve’s hand. Eve got ready to pull away until she felt two very firm hands around her waist that pulled her closer to Villanelle. Eve squeaked in surprise but she could feel Villanelle return her affections while the audience sang around her. Her shoulders relaxed and she felt light and airy - was she really this tense while waiting for Villanelle’s response? Villanelle felt soft against her own lips, she made no attempts to move beyond Eve’s gentle touch apart from one small graze of teeth against her lower lip.

_La la la la la._

Eve pulled away from Villanelle and smiled, if not a little sheepishly. Villanelle leaned in again to kiss her but stopped once she realised Eve was pulling away. Villanelle’s eyes were wide, her pupils blown - even obvious to Eve in this dim light - and her chest was heaving. Eve went to say something until she felt fingers in her hair and she was pulled back to Villanelle. Not that she was complaining.

_La la la la la._

The song finished and there were a lot of cheers and chants. Eve and Villanelle pulled away from each other and Eve noticed that not all of the noises were for Elton. They had attracted a little bit of an audience, a group of men in their twenties covered in glitter and immaculate facial hair were cheering them on. Eve gave them a shy look and sat down with Villanelle, who took her hand once they were seated.

The rest of the concert was uneventful. Eve enjoyed the slow songs and the feeling of Villanelle tracing patterns on the back of her hand with her thumb. She had relaxed now, too, and seemed to be enjoying the music. The songs were becoming less energetic as the concert was beginning to wrap up. The arena was illuminated with phone lights from swaying hands and gentle clapping.

Eve’s breath trembled when Elton John invited the audience to duet with him for ‘Don’t go breaking my heart.’ Villanelle let go of Eve’s hand to put her arm around her waist. She took Eve’s hand back in her other one.

“I’m really sorry, Eve.”

Eve said nothing but leant her head against Villanelle’s arm. She tilted hers to meet Eve.

The concert wrapped up shortly after the duet and Eve and Villanelle headed out during the final encore to get a head start. Villanelle had her arm around Eve who was unsteady on her feet, a combination of a pounding heart, a lot of wine and some uncomfortable shoes. She was chatting to Villanelle about the concert and the crowds, although the other just nodded along agreeably.

“Eve.”

“Hm?” Villanelle turned Eve so they were facing each other, her hand still on Eve’s arm.

“Will you kiss me again?”

Eve leant in automatically. She could get used to this.

“Oksana!” It was a gruff, male voice full of venom. The accent sounded Russian. Eve and Villanelle both sprang apart from each other. Eve stumbled, Villanelle caught her and pulled her to her protectively.

A small boy wearing star sunglasses and a feather boa was standing next to a man who looked to be in his mid-twenties, similar to Villanelle. The boy looked scared but waved to Villanelle. The man next to him looked murderous.

“Who are they?” Eve whispered to Villanelle. Villanelle had locked eyes with the older one of the two, both glaring at each other.

“They are my brothers.”


	8. I guess we're wannabe girlfriends.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Villanelle and Pyotr have a heated argument away from Eve and Bor'ka. Eve and Villanelle's youngest brother empathise with each other, share sweets and sing together to distract themselves from the conversation they had been ostracised from, helping the other face some uncomfortable and awkward feelings.
> 
> tw: mentions of nausea.
> 
> A/N: This reads more as a chapter 7.5 rather than an 8, this was originally meant to be a very short scene as I enjoyed the idea of the brothers interacting with Eve (originally they were just there for a dirty look and a little bit of drama). It's fluffy and a little unrealistic, but I quite liked it so I included it.
> 
> [spoilers for ep6 in the below comment]  
> .  
> .  
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> .  
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> Also we have had like ten minutes of Eve screentime so here is a whole chapter of Eve screentime.

There seemed to be a lot of babysitting on this trip. Eve was sulking, she had been ripped from her romantic bubble and thrown onto the cold, metal seat of the bus shelter next to a kid of about eleven she did not really know. Villanelle was at the other end of the shelter, in view but out of audible earshot. Her and her brother’s words mingled into a duetting shout, but none of the words were distinguishable. Villanelle would not let her come near. The older brother sent the young boy away, too. So, they found comfort in each other, a seat apart on a cold metal bench.

When they had beckoned to Villanelle, _Oksana_ , she had turned cold towards Eve but somehow fiercely protective. Her grip on Eve’s waist was tight as Eve tried to read their faces. Her head was fuzzy and her step was unsteady due to her habit of throwing down every single alcoholic beverage in sight when she got nervous, though and the exchange became a blurry daze that she could not understand. She was not drunk, drunk - a seasoned drinker like her would not get wasted on a bottle of overpriced seven percent wine - but it was enough to impair her mind. When Villanelle had let go of her to throw her arm up in some sort of gesture, she staggered against Villanelle.

“Eve, go home. Wait for me there, I will come back to see you. I promise.” It was Villanelle’s trademark faux seduction. Somehow, Eve knew that if she left, it would be the last time she would see Villanelle for a good while, anyway. Maybe she would return back, drugged up and devastated like Konstantin had suggested she had done in Amsterdam, or maybe she would slip in during the night, pack her designer clothes, leave another note and then leave for good, which in Eve’s mind, would inevitably lead to her death. Eve also registered that Villanelle had called the hotel ‘home.’ She could not risk losing that progress.

“No…” Eve slurred against Villanelle’s shoulder.

“Eve.” She sounded annoyed. Eve decided to try a guilt-tripping, more innocent suggestion.

  
“I want to stay with you.” She could play a character as good as Villanelle and opted for the loved-up drunk. It was not too far from the truth, although Eve was more infatuated and impaired rather than fully in love and drunk. She could feel Villanelle relax her shoulders and looked up at her with glossy eyes. Villanelle sighed but her face was still stony.

“I don’t want you to think I’m a monster.” her voice hitched on the word ‘you.’ Villanelle was fine with anyone else thinking of her in that way apart from Eve, she considered. All the more reason to stay by her side.

“I think I know you enough to know that you’re not.”

“Fine.” She turned to her brothers.

  
“Can I take care of her first? She drank a lot without eating.”

“Okay. He can sit with her.” The brother gestured to the young boy.

So Villanelle had dragged them into the Tesco Express between the O2 and the bus station and filled up a bag with meal deals and snacks for the both of them before walking to the station. She had helped Eve into a seat on the benches where the bus arrivals were - empty by now as the buses had stopped and anything twenty-four hour had moved to the outside of the station. There were people at the other end singing Rocketman and laughing but they paid no mind to the heated argument Villanelle was having with the older of the two brothers.

Eve held a sandwich carton in her hand and her head was between her legs. She had eaten the sandwich too quickly and it was beginning to mix with the wine and her anxiety. Her chucking her guts up in the middle of the station would be a fair distraction to get Villanelle away from her brother but probably would not help the situation. She offered the other half of the sandwich to the little boy on the chair on the other side of the bag.

  
“Here, I had too much.”

  
He took it without saying a word.

“What’s your name?” Eve put her head up and into her hand. She just wanted to go home. Was home the hotel, with Villanelle? Or did she mean home to her tiny apartment in London, or even back with Niko. Did she wish she could turn the clock back to roughly a year and a half ago before she had met Villanelle? _Honestly, no._

“Bor’ka.”

“Ah, I’m Eve. What’s his name?”

“Pyotr.”

Well, that was formalities out of the way. She looked over at them and watched Pyotr shove Villanelle. She went to get up but caught Villanelle’s eyes. Villanelle shook her head at Eve, gesturing at her over Pyotr’s shoulder to stay seated.

“I feel like I’m a child.” Eve remarked.

“Me too.” Bor’ka finally turned his face to Eve.

“You are a child. I wonder what they’re arguing about.”

“You don’t know?” Bor’ka seemed confused.

“No.”

“She bought me tickets to see Elton John, but killed my mother and brother. I thought she was nice.” Bor’ka turned away again and put his foot up onto the chair, to lean his head into his knee. Eve could see the conflict in his mind. He was obviously devastated about his mother but he liked Villanelle. She could see the comparison to herself and in a way, deeply empathised with him.

“She can be nice, sometimes. If you’re nice to her.”

Bor’ka started hitting his forehead against his knee. He was crying out about the concert and something along the lines of blaming himself for asking his brother to use the tickets to take him to London. Eve took his head in both of her hands and gently moved it away from his knee.

“Don’t do that. It’s not your fault. We can talk about something else if you want.”

Bor’ka was silent. Eve moved her hands away and rummaged through the bag to find something sweet to keep him distracted. At the bottom was a packet of Maoam pinballs. She opened it, fished a cola one out for herself and offered the packet to Bor’ka.

“Want one?” He shook his head.

“You are missing out on the divine taste that is mixing a strawberry and cola pinball together, though.” Eve pushed the bag a little closer to him. He took out some pink and brown pinballs.

“I want to try them separately first.”

“Okay.”

He put a strawberry one to his mouth first, and then a cola. He struggled to chew them but Eve could see a smile poke at his cheeks. She giggled at him and took another handful out of the bag.

“See, I told you they were good!” She said with her mouth full. He was laughing with her now too. Eve felt proud, she was never really good with kids but at this time, she might as well have been one herself.

“She killed someone I was close to, as well. My best friend. But, he put her in danger. He was following her so she got scared. I wanted to kill her first, but I understood why she did it when I found out the whole story. She also makes me lemon tea when I have had a bad night and wins me tacky jewelry from funfairs because she is better at the games than me.” Eve explained. She was gazing out of the window of the bus station now, she could still hear Villanelle arguing with Pyotr but she knew where her place was.

“She was really good at games. She won the top prize in the dung throwing. She looked happy.”

“Oh, she loves to win. Very competitive. She won’t talk to me if I’ve beaten her at a game.” Eve smiled at the memories of being pushed against the fridge with a knife grazing at her chest, Villanelle’s wicked grin looking down on her. Not usually a fond memory to some, but to her it was.

“Are you two girlfriends?” Bor’ka asked. Eve turned to look at him in surprise. I suppose it had been obvious, they had been walking out of the arena holding onto each other and finding excuses to share more kisses. He may have even seen them in the arena. Eve blushed and touched her cheek where she could feel the burn.

“No.”

“Oh, but you two were…”

“I know. I guess we’re wannabe girlfriends.” Eve could not find another way to explain it to him.

“Do you want to be her girlfriend?” Eve looked at her shoes. The proud part of her still declared no, but it was a whisper. She thought of the last few days; the funfair, the rides, the prizes, the tea, the gentle touches. The fact that she had never run away from Eve even after she had rejected her. How she had been open with Eve straight away about something happening to her, instead of what Eve had done - false pretenses and silly confident acts to try and force her to break down. 

“I don’t know.”

She felt a tear slide down her face. She touched it and turned to Villanelle and even through the distance she could see the telltale redness and hunched shoulders. She stood up to walk over to her, but Villanelle had spotted her. She frowned and put her hand out. It was a clear signal. _No._

“Please.” It was meant to be a shout to get her attention, to plead with her. Her lips moved but no sound travelled. She sank back into the chair.

“I think I know why Oksana killed Mama.”

“Why?”

“She said to me once before that I was worthless and brought shame on the family. I think maybe she said the same thing to Oksana.”

“Yes. Yes, I think you’re right.” She put a tentative hand on Bor’ka’s shoulder.

“She saved my life though. I don’t know if I can hate her. She was interested in Elton John, too. She dressed up like him and borrowed my glasses.”

Eve sat back in the chair and exhaled. She wanted to look back over to Villanelle but could not quite bring herself to feel that sting of rejection again. She did not want to think.

“Bor’ka, why do you like Elton John so much?” She asked him. He stood up and moved in front of Eve. She had obviously found his passion, she felt the same whenever she thought about female assassins or good, cheap takeaway in the past.

“He’s so cool! I love his music and the way he dresses and his bright colours and the fact that he is so successful and he doesn’t care about what people think of him.” He was grinning with bright eyes. He pulled his star sunglasses off the top of his head and put them on his eyes. His excitement was endearing. Eve held out her hand to him, guiding him back to the chair. Bor’ka took some more of the pinballs and chewed them, humming along to Crocodile Rock.

“That’s one of the ones I know. Only the bit at the end though, I don’t know the actual words.”

“It’s my favourite. I used to sing it with my family all the time.”

“Why don’t we sing it? Maybe if we sing loud enough they’ll stop arguing.”

“Pyotr will think I’m embarrassing.”

“Villanelle will think I am, so we’re even there.”

“Villanelle?” Bor’ka was looking straight at her now with a frown. _Shit. That was a name he probably shouldn’t know._

“She sent me a perfume to apologise about my friend. It was called Villanelle and I didn’t know her name so I always called her that. It stuck.”

“Oh.” He was quiet.

“Can I borrow your glasses?” Eve asked, she had a childish impulse. Bor’ka smiled and leant over to put them on her face.

“Thank you. How does it go?”

Bor’ka started singing. Eve listened to the tune and joined in when it got to the familiar tune she knew, and some of the partygoers who had not quite made it onto buses also joined in. He was swaying his hands.

_Fuck it._ Eve joined in. She wanted to cheer this kid up so desperately and also distract herself from the inevitable fall out once they got back to the hotel. _If they got back to the hotel._

Eve could hear footsteps. Villanelle looked furious, her face streaked with tears. She took Eve’s hand and pulled her up from the chair. Eve took the glasses off and passed them to Bor’ka who was following after her, Pyotr shortly behind.

“We’re going, Eve.” It was the same sharp fury Eve had gotten used to when she crossed the line. She pulled a funny but apologetic face to Bor’ka. The truth was though, she was scared.

“Wait!” It was Bor’ka. He ran over to Villanelle and hugged her waist. Eve watched Villanelle’s eyes and could see them turn glassy.

“Thank you for the Elton tickets. I’m glad I got to see you again. I don’t think you’re a bad person.”

Villanelle’s hand rested on Bor’ka’s shoulder for a moment before Pyotr ripped him away. He walked away with him to the taxi rank, while Bor’ka waved at the pair, looking back as he followed his older brother. Eve waved at him. She looked at the bag still on the chair and nodded her head towards it. Bor’ka broke his brother’s grip, went back to grab the bag and then followed on.

Villanelle’s grip on Eve’s hand relaxed a little when they got to their stop. The night bus, luckily, was quick and they took a seat at the back of the bus on the lower deck. Villanelle sat bolt-upright and was staring at the pole in front. Eve was trying to lean against the window but they were sitting on the engine so she could feel the bus shake. Her face was knocking against the window and it was uncomfortable.

She looked at Villanelle’s shoulder. If they had been on their way home after the concert, without any of the arguing, she would not have hesitated to lean on her. Eve wondered about what would have happened if the argument did not happen. They would have left arm in arm, waited for the bus, Villanelle would have made a sassy comment about the way that Eve kissed or how much Eve wanted her. Eve would have rebutted with an equally as sassy comment and they would have gotten on the bus. They would have chatted about the concert on the bus while Villanelle shot her flirtatious smiles and wicked grins and Eve would have felt a bit motion sick from the wine and leant on her. They would have got back to the hotel, hand in hand and once through the door of their room, Villanelle would ask Eve to kiss her, or Eve would just kiss her anyway. They would get ready for bed, lie down and open up to each other about their feelings, kiss again, maybe and then fall asleep in each other’s arms with Villanelle’s hand in her hair.

Eve did wonder if they would have sex, but she shook that thought out of her mind. Not because she was embarrassed, it just did not fit with her narrative. She wanted to take things slow and tenderly.

Villanelle looked at her. She had obviously been gazing at Villanelle’s shoulder too long.

“Can I lean on you?” She asked, tentatively. Villanelle did not respond. She did not want to push it, but also, Eve desperately needed that comfort. _Please, Villanelle, please._

“Please? I feel a bit ill and the window is shaking me.”

Villanelle nodded. Eve rested her head against Villanelle’s shoulder and closed her eyes. She smelled of soap and rose perfume and it was comforting. Eve felt the brush of hair against her head and a soft pair of lips pressed on the top of her head. It was the calm before the storm.


	9. Maybe we can be family, in a way.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve and Villanelle finally have it out and face their home truths. Eve tries honesty, Villanelle still struggles with being open until their safety is compromised.

“Villanelle.”

She had rushed over to the mirror once they had gotten back to the hotel room. The rest of the journey was silent and Villanelle had walked three paces ahead of Eve over the Blackheath common and through the hotel. She was taking her makeup off, her back was to Eve, but she could see Villanelle’s face reflected in the mirror. She was wiping off the mascara that had trailed onto her cheeks and the remnants of tear-streaked foundation. Eve was pressed against the hotel room door, leaning against her hands. She did not dare to take a step in, not just yet. It was as if she was seeking permission. Villanelle was still silent with her.

“We need to talk.” Eve tried again. She watched Villanelle drag a makeup wipe down her face, the skin stretching underneath. Eve winced. She was not being kind to herself and it pained Eve desperately. Eve watched Villanelle’s eyes flick to her through the mirror. She stepped a little closer to her, slipping out of her shoes and putting them by the door, near Villanelle. The room was still a mess from earlier, so still in her dress, Eve began to tidy up some of the clothes on the bed, folding them and tucking them back into the overnight bags. The silence was still there. Eve could not cope.

“Villanelle, please.” Eve was holding the silky white dress that Villanelle had picked out for her. She held it in her hands as she turned around to face her, pleading. She looked up, away from Villanelle. This was what, the third time today she had cried? She had to, she needed to drop the bravado and just open up to her. There was still a tiny bit of her old, bolshy, overconfident self that would not let her, though.

Villanelle stood up and moved towards Eve. Her face was stern, not soft and protective as it was even ten minutes ago on the bus. This was old Villanelle, ruthless, manipulative, a true assassin through and through. What had she done wrong? She had followed Villanelle this whole trip. What had she done?

“Fine. We can talk.” Villanelle got close to Eve, pushing her face near hers to be intimidating. She brushed past her and went towards the drawers near Eve’s bed. She pulled out the first one and began to pack Eve’s clothes into the overnight bag on the bed. Eve looked at her, confused before she realised that Villanelle was looking for something. She knew exactly what she was looking for and stepped back, closer to the door. She heard the rustle of plastic as Villanelle lifted out the note that Eve was carrying around with her.

“Do you want to explain what this is, Eve?” Villanelle was holding the note up next to her, stepping forward to Eve. Eve was stepping back until she found herself pressed up against the wall with Villanelle. Villanelle was pointing the note into Eve’s chest. 

_Oh, this familiar scene._ Eve swallowed. She hoped there was nothing sharp in the room but did not doubt that Villanelle could kill her with anything in here. Villanelle stepped back and sat on the end of the bed, holding the note, still in its plastic bag in her hands. She scanned it and scoffed.

“So are you going to explain, Eve? Why do you have this? Where did it come from? Why does it have blood on it?”

Eve opened her mouth to talk but Villanelle’s barrage of question was not done quite yet. Each question she asked, she got louder. Eve flinched at each question, her mind wandered to the rest of the hotel guests, hearing her scream. It was a Friday night, hopefully they were too wrapped up in their one night stands or drunken snoozes to register.

“Do you think I am responsible for this? Is that why Konstantin asked you to take me away? Why did you say yes? What are you playing at?”

“How long did you know about the note?”

“This morning, when I went to find your purse to get us breakfast. It was in your handbag.”

Eve stopped. She had known since before the Elton concert. The reenactment of the bus scene, the kiss, the protectiveness, she had known what Eve was hiding before any of these happened. She had begged Eve to stop lying in her own way but had continued to lie herself. This pissed off Eve more than she wanted to admit, and at this point, she had nothing to lose. The hypocrisy ignited a rage inside Eve and she was willing to match Villanelle, and at this point, did not really care if she actually decided to run off at this point. She could not imagine that Villanelle would get far, anyway. She stepped forward towards Villanelle, arms wide in a dramatic flounce.

“Okay. Okay, let’s talk then. Let’s both talk, let’s clear the air because we’re clearly both lying to each other. So let’s have it out, right here, right now, completely! Shout, scream and wake up the whole hotel! And then we can forget about it. We can forget this night ever happened and move on. But let me tell you, Villanelle, that I only took on this request because I cared about what happened to you. I knew you were in danger and I was the only one you trusted enough to get you out of this mess without caring only about myself. I might have lied to you but I had no idea how this was going to go. I mean I must be insane to care about you, but I do. So let’s do this then, let’s argue and shout so we can forget about this and move on.” Eve was pacing around the room while Villanelle watched from the bed. It was more as if Eve was talking to herself.

“No.” Villanelle’s voice shuddered.

“What? But you said-”

“I don’t want to ‘have it out with you’ if it means forgetting about tonight.”

Eve was confused. Her brows were deeply furrowed and her head tilted with an incredulous look. _What the hell was she on about?_

Villanelle touched her lip. _Oh._ Eve sighed dramatically and moved over to where Villanelle was sitting and sat on the floor by her leg. Villanelle slid down the bed to join her. Eve looked over at her and down to her lips. She considered kissing her again just to show Villanelle that kisses were still on the cards even once they had argued. It seemed to be poor timing, though.

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t.”

“Don’t make me say it, Villanelle.”

“You said to tal-”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since the bus a couple of weeks ago and that hasn’t and won’t change.” There. Eve had said it. Villanelle’s face was worth the burn to her cheeks. Her mouth had dropped open and she was sure she saw the glisten of embarrassed tears. Villanelle got up and walked over to the little kitchenette.

“Wait, where are you going? You told me to be honest!” Eve was furious, she felt rejected.

“Are you still drunk?” Villanelle had pressed the button on the kettle and sat on the countertop.

“Yes! No! Maybe, probably, I don’t know.” 

“That was about five answers in one and they were all conflicting.” Villanelle was smiling now. At least Eve had made her smile, she took comfort in that besides her own frustration. She watched as Villanelle took two lemon tea bags and put them into mugs, waited until the kettle was close to boiling and poured the water into the mugs. She brought them over, handed one to Eve and sat back down next to her.

“I’m surprised you remembered how to brew it. Last time you burnt the leaves and it was bitter.”

Villanelle looked into the mug and smelled it, grimacing.

“I don’t understand how you like this stuff. It smells like grass.”

“It’s relaxing and it’s good for you.”

They were quiet for a little bit. Villanelle broke it.

“Who’s going to start?”

“I will.” Eve interjected quickly. “I suppose I have that note to explain.”

“Hm.”

“When we met on the bus, I had just been told Niko had gone back to Poland after discharging himself from a mental health facility. He was in there because of what happened in the storage unit.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh. You really fucked him up, Villanelle”. Eve was still talking about it, Villanelle looked down at her tea with stiff shoulders.

“Anyway, I started receiving these weird messages from him telling me how much he wanted me back and how his trip to Poland wasn’t complete without me. I, like an idiot, think they’re from him, find him in Poland only to watch him get stabbed through the neck with a pitchfor-...a pitchfor-...I can’t say it.” Eve’s voice broke. She fell into Villanelle’s shoulder. Villanelle did not move.

“I-I, I just...It was the fact that I just fell over when I saw it and watched him bleed out until he stopped moving. He’s dead because I didn’t get him help. Someone found us; me on the floor, reaching out towards him and him dead and got the police. They thought I’d done it at first. I got questioned so much, twelve hours in a weird metal room in Poland, but then all of a sudden it was a case of mistaken identity and I was pushed onto the next flight home. I stole the note, but then I knew that his death had to do with The Twelve. I didn’t even read the note until I got home.”

“Did you think I had done it?” Eve calmed her crying. She needed to get her words out meaningfully. Villanelle had not done it and deep down, she had known it. She could see Villanelle’s mind piecing together an untrue image, that she was only here to investigate his death. That wasn’t the case. Not quite, anyway.

“I can’t say my mind didn’t go there to begin with. I know you, though. It just didn’t seem your style or the type of person you’d need to kill, Niko was harmless and our marriage was over, anyway. I considered it because of what happened with the bus as revenge or something but it just didn’t feel right. Then when Konstantin approached me at Niko’s wake and mentioned that you had been to Russia, I asked him for your flight evidence to match up the dates. I was so happy when I had the evidence it wasn’t you to put everyone else at rest.”

“I knew that his death would hurt you and you would never forgive me.” Villanelle looked away.

“I think I knew that, too. You killed that girl and not him when actually that could have ruined your plans more because he may have come back to me. Of course, he didn’t. I think if he even gave me the opportunity to talk, he’d probably just tell me to piss off forever. He told his therapist that he needed to forget about me to heal. That did hurt a lot.” Eve laughed to herself. She definitely looked pathetic.

“Why did you decide to come and get me?” Villanelle asked. Eve was gripping onto her arm, head in shoulder, desperate for a touch or an arm around her or something but Villanelle was not offering anything. She looked up at Villanelle and pulled away from her, head down, dejected. Leaning back onto bed, she gazed at her reflection in the mirror on the wall. She still had her makeup on her face, somewhat, but the red lipstick was smeared around the bottom of her lips and her usual eyeliner now went out and faded, rather than around her eye neatly. She laughed again. Definitely pathetic.

“Oh god, I look awful, don’t I?”

“Why are you trying to distract from the topic?” Villanelle was blunt. The pretense had gone. She wanted her answers, but was it because she planned to cut and run? Was this all a lie? Or maybe, just maybe, Villanelle needed to trust her. She watched as Villanelle reached over for the makeup wipes and threw them into Eve’s lap. Eve took one and rubbed at her face, harshly.

  
“Don’t do that, you’ll damage your skin. Turn to me.” Villanelle took another makeup wipe from the packet and took Eve’s chin, guiding her head around so that she faced Villanelle. She pressed the wipe against Eve’s lips and circled it on her cheek. Eve closed her eyes and leant into her touch. It was instinctual, at this point.

  
“You know, my mother did this to me before she told me to leave.” Villanelle said. Eve pulled away from her. She sniffed, her face feeling heavy.

“Does that mean you want me to leave?” Eve was crying again. Not after all this had happened. It had been two days, it felt like weeks. So much progress. Was Villanelle about to toss her aside now that she had gotten what she wanted? Eve held her breath and pressed her lips together.

“Not if you answer the question.” Eve could breath. For now. Villanelle got onto her knees so she was taller than Eve, took another wipe and started to wipe down Eve’s eyes. She got the same intense urge to lean into Villanelle’s hands but she was running out of time to convince Villanelle that she cared.

“I said no at first. The wake was awful and Gemma’s parents were there talking so much about how they were happy that Gemma wasn’t alone anymore and all of that sentimental afterlife bullshit, like he was her husband and not mine. I just wanted to go home and get wasted now that there was nobody there to stop me, I didn’t even care that you might break in. I just wanted to be away from everyone. But Konstantin came. He said that you were “in a bad way,” and I felt that same pull to you as I always do. He wanted me to take you out of London on a holiday. When I asked why, he told me what had happened in Russia. Well, he kept it brief.”

“So you knew?”

  
“Sort of. Yes.” It was a shudder.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You were like a cat when I first came to get you. I was afraid you’d bolt at any second. I wanted to make you happy and safe for even just a moment before we spoke properly about any of this.”

Villanelle stopped wiping her face. Eve caught her breath. She continued.

“When Konstantin told me how sad you were about your family and then after he said that you had spared your brothers, I realised that your mother must have done something to you. I know that you never murder without a reason, and it felt like I could feel your hurt. I think Konstantin had the idea that the two of us would both find comfort in each other, or something like that. I don’t know. I don’t really know how to explain this outside of the fact that I found out you were sad and wanted to make you happy.” Eve blushed. It sounded like a love confession. She shut her mouth and turned away from Villanelle, she was done with talking. Villanelle was smiling.

“Eve.”

“Your turn.”

“Eve.”

“I said it’s your turn!”

“The bus?” Eve folded her arms and glared at Villanelle. She had spoken enough. Who was dodging the questions now?

“It was a distraction.”

“Was it?” Eve knew that amused grin. Villanelle knew it was bullshit.

“At first. I knew that you were expecting a sharp comment or a slap and I knew that when I saw your chest heaving once we pulled away, I had got you. Then yeah, I don’t know. You left that bear in my apartment. I tore the heart out and couldn’t go back so I slept in the Bitter Pill offices.”

Villanelle burst out laughing. Eve took a gulp of her tea and glared at her.

“Why are you laughing at me?”

“I can’t believe you didn’t sleep in your apartment after the bear. You were the one who picked such a shitty, defenceless apartment. Also, you know I wouldn’t hurt you.”

“I know, but…”

“But?”

“Things were weird. I didn’t want to admit to myself I was thinking about you. Also, Niko started texting me. I just wanted to go back to normal.”

Villanelle leaned in and took Eve’s cheek in her hand. She leaned in.

“Normal doesn’t suit you.” Eve had an impulse. She knew it was a bitch move, but she turned away from Villanelle with a smile.

“Okay, your turn now. Then we can kiss and make up.”

“As long as that’s not a figure of speech.” Eve moved a little closer to her. They sat side by side, their elbows touching. She could feel Villanelle shaking next to her.

“Are you alright?” Eve asked. Villanelle was getting clammy and more nervous by the minute and she was wondering whether she had pushed Villanelle into dangerous territory. Obviously there was a small pang of annoyance that Villanelle had pushed Eve into confessing all, but Eve knew that her marriage was dead in the ground before Niko was. She had faced up to the fact she was willing to abandon her family even before she got shot. That was the stark difference between her and Villanelle. Her loneliness was a choice. Villanelle got thrown aside, and she wanted to prove to her that not everybody was out to use.

Villanelle’s chest was heaving, now. Eve sat up and looked over at her, it was clear she was in a state of panic. Her eyes were screwed up, her breathing was wild, her hands were in fists and she was still shaking.

“Villanelle. Let’s scratch that idea for now, then. Can you look at me?”

Villanelle shook her head.

“Can I touch you? On the shoulders?”

Villanelle nodded. Eve got up on her knees to sit in between Villanelle’s legs and put one hand on each shoulder. It was almost like she was bracing her, anchoring her back down to reality.

“I...I-” She was trying, but Eve’s priorities had shifted. She remembered why she was here, why she had taken the trip. She was there to make Villanelle happy. This was not a happy Villanelle and she needed to change that.

“You don’t have to talk. We don’t have to discuss this. What can I do to help you, Villanelle?” Eve asked. She tried to flip through her mind to see what she knew on how to deal with panic attacks. She had seen Niko stressed before and dealt with panic herself but nothing on the scale of dealing with Villanelle’s trauma.

Eve felt arms around her as she was yanked into a crushing hug that made her groan with surprise, she put a hand on the ground to steady them both. The arms around her were tight for a few moments but Villanelle lost her strength and they hung loosely around Eve’s back. She could feel Villanelle’s shoulders moving up and down and a dampness on her chest. Eve sighed, she could move one arm to wrap around Villanelle’s shoulders but the other was stuck on the ground, she would not be able to move it without toppling over onto Villanelle, which might ruin the moment. She tried her best with what she could, though, and rubbed her shoulder to soothe her, not saying anything. 

A few moments passed. Villanelle pulled back from Eve and wiggled out of Eve’s arm. Eve sat back on her knees in between Villanelle’s legs and studied her face. She looked vulnerable, she looked scared as she watched Eve. It was like she was looking for something in Eve’s face, waiting for a reaction. Eve did not know what reaction to give, did she want reassurance or sympathy? A kind smile or a pitying sigh? Eve smiled at Villanelle, small, soft. She wanted to reach out and hold her hand.

Villanelle lifted her hand and Eve watched it as it reached out for the pendant on her neck. Her finger traced the jagged edges of the broken heart and the small floral detail before gripping onto the base of the pendant between her thumb and her finger. Eve could feel a light tug at her neck as the chain pressed into her and she covered Villanelle’s hand with her own.

  
“Please be gentle with it.” Eve begged. She had only worn it for two days but when she took her morning shower, she felt like she was missing a part of her whenever it was not on. She hoped Villanelle felt the same, in a way. Eve wore it as a memory but also wore it because the other half belonged to Villanelle. She hoped it would be like a connection, if they ever got separated, they could be returned to the other by just finding the matching necklace.

“It’s just cheap jewelry.” Even through this, Villanelle just could not let go of the cocky facade. She was still testing Eve.

“I know. But I really like it.” Villanelle slid her hand underneath the pendant and rubbed it with her thumb.

“I think we should get ones that don’t match up to anyone else's.” Did this mean Villanelle wanted her?

“I agree.” This meant Eve wanted Villanelle. She crawled out of Villanelle’s lap and sat back down next to her, taking Villanelle’s hand and threading her fingers through hers and placing their joined hands on her lap.

“Do you think I’m a monster, Eve?”

“No.” She gripped Villanelle’s hand tighter.

“Even Pyotr said he couldn’t understand why I killed her. He said that I should have just gone and saw him in the barn once she told me to leave. He said a normal person doesn’t just think that they need to kill someone straight away.”

Eve sat still. In a way, he was right, a part of her agreed. Then again, he had never killed someone. She thought of Raymond, who had been writhing on the floor in pain after she had put an axe through his back. She did not need to strike two more times but yet, she had because he had tried to hurt someone dear to her. Villanelle would not have just killed her own mother through her own rejection. There had to be another reason. She remembered the little boy hitting himself on the head because of his family’s rejection. It was him that Villanelle wanted to save.

“Bor’ka said he thought he knew why you did it. He doesn’t think you’re a monster, either.”

“Is that what you talked about with him? Me?” Villanelle was staring ahead. She still would not look at Eve, and it was beginning to stress her out a little.

“Sometimes. We spoke about a lot. Why he liked Elton John. Different types of sweets, we split a bag of pinballs. He said he thought you were cool and nice and we agreed that sometimes things like that aren’t as straightforward as we think.”

“And?”

  
  
“I told him about Bill. How I hated you at first until I realised you had a reason why you killed him and it wasn’t you being a monster, he broke your boundaries. He wanted to sing with me after he saw that I was upset that you wouldn’t let me come over to cheer you up and I talked him out of his embarrassment. He asked who I was to you. I didn’t really know how to answer that.”

_Actually, I believe the term was ‘wannabe girlfriends.’_ Eve told herself, but she could not tell Villanelle that. Bombarding her with feelings was selfish at the time.

“Who am I to you?” Villanelle turned to look at Eve, her eyes were bright and her face curious. Eve swallowed. She was only holding back a little bit of the truth, she did not know how to refer to the two of them. The necklaces around their necks said they were best friends. Or maybe that Villanelle was the best and Eve was just a friend. They definitely were not girlfriends, they had both gone through too much grief and Niko was not cold in the ground long enough for Eve to consider pursuing anything. They liked each other too much to be enemies, they were not co-workers.

“Eve?” Eve snapped her head up, she had zoned out again, tied in her thoughts. Villanelle had squeezed her hand and taken her free hand to tap lightly on Eve’s hand. Eve reached over and grabbed her mug with her spare hand.

“I don’t know, really. Someone I care about.” Eve took a sip and spat it back out again. Cold tea was the worst. She heard Villanelle chuckle.

“That wasn’t very elegant.”

  
  
“If you don’t like hot lemon tea, lemon tea left to go cold is worse. I’m gonna get some water. Do you want any?”

“I’m good.” Eve took the mugs and tipped out her half-drunk tea and Villanelle’s untouched cup. She rinsed them and washed out Villanelle’s cup and got herself some water. She sat down next to Villanelle, who had not moved and pressed the glass to her lips, taking little sips. The water was refreshing as she felt her sobriety and the inevitable exhaustion of a hangover loom. Eve dwelled on the long drive ahead tomorrow, it was the second time she would be trying to drive to Littlehampton on a hangover. It was not fun, but she thought about the company beside her. Maybe it would be. Villanelle was watching her. It was Eve’s turn to start the conversation back up.

“Can I ask why you wanted to go home?” Eve hesitated on the word home. Villanelle seemed to pick on Eve whenever she used the word carelessly herself.

“I wanted to go somewhere where I wasn’t being expected to work. Where there was no Twelve. I was excited to feel normal again but they clung onto their bullshit myths.” Villanelle was gazing at the ceiling, slumped down. Eve still gripped onto her glass of water.

“Bullshit myths?”

  
  
“That the Earth was flat.” Eve laughed and Villanelle turned her head to her, smiling.

“That was my reaction.”

“I can’t believe there are people out there who still believe the Earth is flat.”

“Yep, they made me watch an entire documentary. Totally faked by America, apparently.”

“What else?”

“That because I didn’t cry as a baby, that made me evil. I didn’t even get an opportunity to be a child for them before I was taken to an orphanage. And then they just made more to replace me. I did cry. I do cry.” Her voice hitched. Eve put the glass down and leaned over to Villanelle, wiping away a tear with her thumb. Villanelle held Eve’s hand there, on her face. Eve looked down at her.

“That’s just an excuse, more on them than on you.” Eve felt angry now. Angry for a younger Villanelle, left, abandoned. Angry for the older Villanelle who was beginning to pick up on the signs of deception and manipulation The Twelve were using to trap her. She thought back to that first meeting they had in Eve’s old kitchen. She had thought that Villanelle was lying for information. She wondered what would have happened if she had helped her out instead of reaching for her knife.

“I regretted it at first, but I don’t know anymore. Good things have happened that would not have if I didn’t go home.”

“Like what?” Eve was intrigued. What had Villanelle found out through her family? Was it Bor’ka? Eve had warmed to him in the hour or so they had spent together. She missed him a bit already and wished he could have joined their quirky little holiday.

“Well I can’t say I didn’t like being kissed during the middle of an Elton John concert.” Villanelle’s cheeky smile was back. Eve’s nose flared with her annoyance but she could not help but return such a contagious smile.

“Yeah well, you just got too close to the drunk lady who hadn’t had any action in a while and you smelled nice.”

“Can I get close again?"

“As long as we actually get out of London this time.”

“I’ll follow you wherever you want to take me.”

“Now that sounds like a proposal.” Eve jabbed Villanelle with her hip and sipped her water. Villanelle, not one to be beat had a perfect retort up her sleeve.

“Sounds good. Let me know when you want to make it into something and I’ll divorce my wife.”

Eve choked on her water. Villanelle took the glass from her and rubbed her back with wicked glee as Eve steadied her breath.

“What.” It was meant to be a question. It sounded like a flat, vicious statement.

“I got a bit impulsive after Rome.”

“Shooting me wasn’t enough?” Eve bit back.

“I didn’t have any plans or any idea what to do, I was done with The Twelve and only wanted to go to Alaska with you. I complimented a few women on their shoes and the one that responded first got me for six months.”

  
  
Eve was wildly jealous. She said nothing but gave Villanelle a bemused look, gripping onto her cup. _This bitch had the audacity to go on about Niko when she, herself was also married?_

“Relax, Eve. It ended in a fist fight anyway when Dasha came to get me back into The Twelve. It probably doesn’t even count. I just said it because I knew you would have a cute reaction.”

“Did you get in a few good hits, at least?” Eve pictured an older woman being pummelled in the face by Villanelle. She couldn’t find any sourness in that.

“Yes, I made her nose bleed.”

“Good.”

Eve paused. She remembered how Villanelle had gotten into The Twelve, anyway. She had to die. Marriages to dead people were not marriages anymore, she definitely knew that now.

“Although aren’t you technically dead?”

“Your point?” Villanelle was intrigued.

“Marriages don’t count if somebody else is dead. It means it was never legal so you won’t need a divorce. It would be like it never happened.”

“Wow.” Villanelle’s voice was dramatic and over-exaggerated.

“What.” It was the same question-turned-into-a-statement that Eve did when she was annoyed.

“The fact that you sat there and so proudly worked it out. You really must be jealous.”

Eve rolled her eyes. Ten minutes ago, they were crying into each other’s arms while discussing the most traumatic parts of their lives. Now, they were verbally sparring with each other like it was typical day-to-day life. In the cafe, over six months ago, Villanelle suggested they were the same. Eve refused to believe it, she was good, and kind, and moral. In some ways, she was. In those same ways, so was Villanelle. She wondered if they would ever get past their obsession with dominating the other, holding the reigns. That was what kindled the spark, though. She could fight back with some sort of sassy comment, a _you wish_ or a _you were the one desperate to get over me_ , but one thing she had learnt with Villanelle was that truth and honesty was the power. Eve had suggested this night needed to be forgotten but instead she wanted to cling onto it. She still could not say whether she loved Villanelle, not just yet, it was too soon, too unpredictable to know what love was. She could not imagine doing this with someone else, though.

“Do you get what I’m trying to say, Eve?”

“What?” Villanelle took her hand and ran her finger over the wedding ring. Eve expected her to slip it off. It was then she noticed a simple gold band on Villanelle’s finger. So not her style. Eve bit her lip to suppress the urge to rip it right off and throw it out of the window. Or keep it for the car journey and throw it out of the car right when they both could not go back for it.

“I want you to give up your marriage if I give up mine.” Eve looked at her ring. Her marriage was dead even before his parents’ buried Niko but she still missed her simple, old memories. She wore the wedding ring more out of habit but it seemed to be the final, last tie to her old life. Villanelle’s marriage meant nothing, this meant so much more to her and it just felt wrong.

“I-”

“I know what you’re going to say. That my marriage was nothing but a distraction. I know it is not on the same level as your marriage, but I want you to stop hiding behind it, Eve.”

Eve pulled her ring off and took Villanelle’s off too. She looked over to where her handbag was, aimed, angled her hand and flicked her wrist, throwing the rings in the handbag with a needlessly dramatic gesture, although Villanelle’s smile showed her appreciation.

“Like that?”

“Yes.” Villanelle went to put her arm around Eve to pull her in, but Eve stopped her.

“Wait. I have an idea.” Villanelle watched her with curiosity. Eve crawled over to the handbag and pulled out a nail file from the small kit of toiletries. She went back over to Villanelle and took the pendant of her necklace in her hand.

“Will you forgive me if I mess this up?

“Of course.

Eve filed around some of the bumps in the necklace of Villanelle’s and then her own. The idea seemed grand until she realised she could not mould matching points on each necklace. She tried to put them together and they fit, but there was still gaps. It was uneven and jagged. Eve looked dejected as she sat back down.

“I”m sorry.”

“I quite like it. Suits us. Not perfect but we make do.”

Eve snuggled up to Villanelle with a contented smile. Villanelle put her arm around her. Eve felt her eyes flutter shut. She looked around for the clock and saw her phone light up. It was almost three in the morning. They had to be awake early and still had stuff to do but sleep was crushing her like a wave. She felt overwhelmed. Villanelle moved the hair in Eve’s face out of the way as she slumped over. She kissed the top of her head again.

“You need sleep, baby. I’ll pack, you get some rest and I’ll join you.” Eve felt her heart skip. She really liked being called ‘baby’.

Eve had pulled herself onto the bed and watched through blurry, semi-shut eyes as Villanelle was walking around the room, packing everything away. She was neat and precise, packing and putting the bags by the door, but leaving some fresh clothes and a small handful of toiletries out so they could shower in the morning. She noticed that Villanelle had left out the white silky dress, but she packed it away again after looking at it for a little bit.

“I think I want to save this for a day at the beach.” She smiled at Eve and walked over to her, putting her fingers around her dress. 

“You need to take this off. It won’t be comfortable to sleep in. I can help you.” Eve felt gentle fingers at the base of her neck and her eyes closed comfortably. She felt them travel towards the zip and let Villanelle begin to pull down the zip to her dress. Being taken care of felt nice. It was almost worth the hangover on its way in the morning.

“I think you were right that we’re the same, Villanelle, you know. And now we both have no family.”

“I guess it gave us something to bond over.”

“Maybe we can be family, in a way.”

“Let me know when you want me to set a date for the wedding.”

Eve threw a pillow at Villanelle. It missed her. She desperately clawed it back as it was hers and she was losing the battle against exhaustion, hard.

A harsh vibration stunned them both. The phone was ringing on the desk and the vibration echoed around the room. Villanelle took it, placed it in front of Eve and turned on the speaker to answer it. Eve probably could not hold the phone so this made it easier for her.

  
“It’s Konstantin.”

Eve answered.

“Hello?”

“You are about to interrupt something very sexy here, Konstantin.” Villanelle also answered. Eve wanted to kick her.

“You have overstayed your welcome in London. The Twelve have tracked you. You need to get out, now, they have ordered a hit on the both of you. You need to drive. You need to run until they stop chasing you. Call me when you are in the car so I can guide you” Konstantin’s voice was cold.

The phone clicked off. It was Eve’s turn to panic now. She wanted to sob, she felt her chest get heavy, she had finally clawed some stability only for it to burst like a bubble in her arms for her to be left scrambling for the tiny, fragile bits left. She felt the zip on her dress get yanked up and strong arms pull her to her feet. She looked up at Villanelle’s face. It was stern and focused. She was back to Villanelle the assassin, ready to fight. Villanelle was grabbing the bags that she packed. Eve fumbled with her shoes. It was only when Villanelle placed the car keys in her hand that she realised the gravity of the situation. It was down to her to get her out.

Eve took one look at the bed they should have shared as Villanelle guided her outside. She considered if death would be worth it to snuggle in that bed with Villanelle. Adrenaline mixed with exhaustion. Their lives and future were solely in her hands.

This was an incredibly long day.


	10. Eve, you really need to fucking drive.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A focused Villanelle and exhausted Eve dice with their lives in a car chase with The Twelve. An unexpected departure knocks them into further unstable fields as the two of them realise they're really on their own. Eve wonders if that's a bad thing, though.
> 
> A/N: i'm aware that Eve is drink-driving. Usually I've been careful to avoid Eve drinking as she is the assigned driver for the series but in this case, it makes sense to the plot.

Villanelle walked out of the hotel with a brisk stride, hands full of the belongings they had. Eve dragged her heels behind her, eyes fixed to the floor. She felt crushed by a wave of drowsiness. She watched the floor as footsteps approached her and she felt a hand take hers and manoeuver the keys out of it. She loosened her hand and dropped the keys into Villanelle’s hand. Eve looked up at her as Villanelle placed a hand on Eve’s cheek.

“Come on baby, please. We need to do this. We will die if we do not run.”

Eve nodded as Villanelle picked up the bags and packed the boot of the car. She wobbled her way into the driver’s seat and waited for Villanelle to return the keys. She tried to grab the steering wheel but it was then that she realised her hands were shaking. Eve pressed her head into the steering wheel, she tried to gather her thoughts but found a cluster of static she could not pick apart. It all felt surreal, she had not even registered that her or Villanelle’s life was in danger, yet.

She could feel the car dipping as Villanelle was throwing the bags in and she turned around to look at her. In the back seat of the car was the small collection of pandas that Villanelle had decided to keep. Eve longed to reach for one to keep in her lap, but she shook her head and took some deep breaths. Now was not the time to panic or be sentimental. She studied Villanelle’s face as she was moving the bags about and pulling things out. That is what Eve needed to adapt to be; she needed to be cunning, calculating, quick on her feet and easily flexible. Villanelle caught her eyes and probably noticed her fear, offering a smile of comfort. Eve returned the gesture and turned around to buckle up.

Villanelle got in, strapped herself in and passed Eve her car keys and tucked the phone into the compartment by the gear stick. Eve started the car, rubbed her eyes and instinctively reached for the GPS. Villanelle took her hand before she started to pull up the maps and turned the device off.

“They might be able to track us, it’s not a good idea.” She squeezed Eve’s hand and let go, shifting in her seat. She sat upright, braced to move if she needed to. Eve put the key in the ignition and backed out of the car park, trying to remember the few times she had driven through Blackheath. In the end, as long as they were alive, it did not really matter.

They had been driving for ten minutes around the backstreets of Blackheath before realising they had merely looped around the highstreet. Eve had tried a different turning and they had found themselves at some traffic lights, waiting to turn out of the main road and into another quiet street.

Villanelle had gone from focused to anxious and annoyed. Eve had blocked her out while she was driving, fixating only on the turnings and following the road. She could hear Villanelle mumbling in her ears but it was only a shout that pulled her out of her stupor.

“Eve! Why are we waiting at traffic lights when somebody is trying to kill us? Why are we following speed limits? Nobody is there, you need to just go!” Eve knew the voice, it had the same tone as when she axed Raymond in the shoulder. Villanelle was looking at her with startled, livid eyes and a look of fear, this time.

“There’s a speed camera.” Eve responded.

“We are going to die if they catch up to us. You need to go!”

“What if we draw attention to ourselves and the police end up following us or something? What do we do then? Just say ‘oh sorry, but somebody’s trying to kill us so we have to dash!’ They’re only on their way to find us, if we slip out quietly, they won’t find us. We can go towards the south and follow the coastal lines until we get to somewhere secluded. We’ll be fi-”  
  
A shot burst through the back window and stuck into the giant panda toy in the backseat. Eve screamed, Villanelle gripped onto the handle above the car and pulled herself into the seat. Eve was hyperventilating, Villanelle was staring her down with wide eyes.

“Eve…”

  
  
Eve said nothing. She watched in the mirror as a black Range Rover was approaching them and could see the barrel of a gun sticking out of the passenger window. She had an idea, it was risky and would make her a prime, easy target for The Twelve. Villanelle was looking over at her as she watched the car get closer to them. Eve could see her biting her lip and her eyes were flicking back between the steering wheel and Eve’s face, probably debating whether to bundle Eve into the back of the car and drive off themselves.

Eve watched as they angled the barrel of the gun for a better shot and then hit the accelerator and the car jerked forward. She spun the steering wheel to turn sharply and pulled a U-turn in the middle of the road to pass by the same car that shot at them and sped down the road. If this was not a life or death situation, Eve would have stuck her middle finger out of the car at them. She could see in the mirror as they were fumbling with turning around to follow them, so she took a left down a tiny side street to weave around and out of Blackheath.

Villanelle was laughing, she was clearly impressed, although she was still gripping onto the handle of the car. Eve could not think, the adrenalin was dizzying. She did not have a plan, but could not follow her old one either, The Twelve were probably aware of their dreams of beach hideouts and arcade games to pass the time. Villanelle did not seem to know much about the area either, she only ever came into London to kill or to bother her. She thought back to the nervous message Konstantin had left them. _I’ll guide you._

“We need to call Konstantin.” Eve told Villanelle. She was still busy navigating side streets and little shortcuts by fancy houses that she had once dreamed of owning. She was slowing down on the speed a little as she noticed curtains ruffling and lights being turned on. They had attracted the attention of neighbours, nosy old rich housewives who were bored of their lives and older people, furious about their nights being disturbed. 

“No.” Villanelle said. Eve took the phone out of the pocket in the middle of the car and threw it into her lap.

“Villanelle. I don’t have a plan and he said he would guide us. I get your point, they’re trying to kill us. I don’t know where I am going.”  
  
“He could have sold us out to them. He knew where we were. It was your fault for trusting him.”

“If I hadn't trusted him, we wouldn’t be here right now. Now is really not the time for us to be arguing, anyway!” Eve yelled.

“Fine.” Villanelle quietened down and started to fiddle with the phone and the system in the car.

“What’s the passcode?” She asked. Eve hesitated.

“4...321.”

Villanelle grinned and shook her head as she unlocked the phone.

“I guess some things never change.”

Eve continued driving while Villanelle set up the phone call. The dial tone sounded as Eve found herself out on a main road, leading up a hill. The road was forked but she could not quite remember which way would take her closer to Kent, she imagined that heading towards the east would avoid moving closer to central London and nosy eyes.

“Which way do we go? Left or right.”

  
  
“I don’t know.”

“Neither do I. Pick.”

“Left.”

  
  
Konstantin picked up.

“What took you so long? I have been waiting for a call. Are you driving out of London?”

  
  
“Yes, and The Twelve are in hot pursuit. Where do we go?” Eve answered him before Villanelle could get in with a sassy comment or accusatory remark.

“Who is driving?” He asked.

“Eve is.”  
  


“I am.”

“Good. Eve, they know you are heading towards that little beach town to the south, you need to find a new plan. I would try and head in the same direction as you planned, but if you can, find somewhere where you can turn away and lose them before changing your direction. If you go a different route straight away, they will realise and give chase. Villanelle, you need to help Eve to lose them. There is a-”

The sound of gunshots ran out again. Eve and Villanelle both turned behind them to see that there was nothing there, the mysterious black Range Rover had gone. It was only when they heard gargling and groaning over the speakers that they connected the dots. There were a few more thuds and another shot and the line went dead.

“Konstantin?!” Eve hit the breaks in shock and the car jolted to a stop. She pressed a couple of buttons on the system and attempted to reconnect. The line just beeped.

‘I’m sorry, but the person you are trying to call is currently unav-’

Eve slammed the buttons with her hand. He was their only lifeline and now it seemed he was lying dead. She threw herself back in the seat and stared out to the road ahead of them. They had stopped in the fork in the road, but it was the dead of night. Nobody was about. Eve noticed that the lights were misshapen and blurry. Villanelle must think of her as nothing more than an over-emotional crybaby. Her chest was heaving. She rolled her head over to look at Villanelle.

Villanelle had her feet up on the seat and was still gripping onto the handle. Her eyes were blown wide in shock, too, but she was looking around, her eyes moving from Eve, to the mirror, to the front window, to the side. She spoke once she had caught Eve’s eye.

“Eve, you really need to fucking drive.”

She looked back up again and noticed the black Range Rover coming into view. The tip of the barrel of the gun appeared out of the window again.

“Drive!” It was a shriek.

Eve slowly leaned forward, still shaking, eyes still blurry and restarted the car. A shot grazed the mirror on Villanelle’s side, and another bounced off the boot. She hit the accelerator again and followed the road around while Villanelle unclipped her seatbelt.

“What are you doing? Put your seatbelt on, this is dangerous!” Eve wanted to look at Villanelle but had to keep an eye on the road, twisting and turning through the streets was dangerous enough at high speeds, but with Villanelle moving through the car, making her an approachable, easier target for The Twelve, she had to make sure she was not stopping fast enough to put Villanelle’s head through the windscreen. If that happened, she would just crash the car with her.

“Did Konstantin put anything in the car? A weapon?” Villanelle had climbed over into the back and was feeling around the seats and floor for something. Eve shook her head.

  
“No! I asked him not to in case you tried to use it on me.”

“Why would you do that? I would never harm you.”

“Really? This is a convenient memory lapse you are having!” Eve’s voice was loud again.

“Now is not the time, Eve!”

Eve had pulled onto a main road that led towards a motorway. The motorway was too dangerous, she thought, but at least she knew where she was. She tried to picture the same roads in the daytime - a roundabout with several turns, a hill with a high street, another backstreet estate. None were ideal, but she would find out her choice when she got there. There was a small amount of traffic on the road but another shot from the Range Rover made the handful of cars pull over or move out of the way of her erratic driving. Lanes were a fallacy now, Eve swerved onto the wrong side of the road and a car moved into the curb. She saw the surprised, angry expression and the middle finger and wanted to laugh.

  
  
Villanelle was shaking the chairs until she stopped. She grabbed Eve’s bag and dug through to find the little nail kit she had used earlier to file down their necklaces and pulled out a pair of nail scissors. Eve could hear ripping, Villanelle was ripping into the chair using the scissors. She heard the sound of metal, the sound of her smile and then the sound of a gun being armed. Villanelle climbed back over the chair and wiggled the gun in a triumphant dance.

“Thank God Konstantin didn’t listen to you.” Villanelle rolled down the window and stuck her head out. Eve reached over and pulled her in by her collar, causing her to cough. The car veered towards a lamppost but Villanelle recognised it and sat up to turn the wheel.

“Eve, you have to let me do this.”

“They’ll shoot you!”

“I can try and disable their car. We cannot run forever, especially with you driving. I fear for my life more with you at the wheel than I do running from them.”

“Are you insulting my driving?” Eve was furious, even through all of this.

Villanelle braced herself to get up again, she inspected the gun and placed one knee on the seat.

“Oh, thanks!”

“Get offended another time, Eve. I am trying to save our lives. You need to help, I’ll help you through your mental breakdown later but I need to do this first.”

Villanelle was right, Eve had to focus. She was thankful for Villanelle’s sarcastic comment because she had learned to pick out what was behind it - _I’ll embrace you later and comfort you, but you need to support me now._ She was coming up to the roundabout now. She needed to pick a turning. Eve screwed her eyes up for a second, willing the tiredness to leave and then turned onto the roundabout. It was time to pick a turning.

She could not pick. She drove past the two A-road turnings, past the high street, by the estate and looped around. The Range Rover stopped and pulled across the next turning to try and predict her next move, forcing Eve to drive past them. 

“Eve, you’re giving me motion sickness.” Villanelle was trying to position her gun out of the window but it was not as powerful as The Twelve’s gun. She needed to be out of the window to get a good shot at the car, and she knew it would most likely be plated to some extent. Bullets would bounce off.

“I’d advise holding on.” Eve reversed up the turning she had just passed and used it to turn around on the roundabout, avoiding the turning The Twelve had parked their car across. They started up again and both cars seemed on track for a collision. Villanelle had retracted her gun and gripped onto the seat, both knees pressing down to brace herself. Eve continued to drive at the other car, but turned away towards the estates. The Twelve had to pull aside to angle the car and Villanelle took the opportunity to take aim and shoot at them.

Eve stopped focusing on Villanelle. If she watched her, her mind would go wild with fear and she would not be able to bear it, but it would impact her driving. They would be running forever and Villanelle knew it was down to her to take the risk. Konstantin had known this would happen and had planned for it by prepping the car with weapons against Eve’s wishes. Eve turned off the central road into a one-way system, although she was going through it backwards. She watched as window lights flickered on, curtains were being pulled back a slither as she imagined hesitant eyes were peeping out. They were truly fugitives now, they would be pulled up by the police at some point and then they would have nowhere to go. She glanced over to Villanelle, seemingly still alive, ducking in and out of the car, angling the gun, shooting at The Twelve fearlessly. The one way system looped back out onto the same central road. Eve hit the steering wheel in frustration. Villanelle ducked back into the car and rolled up the window. She rested the gun in her lap as she buckled in.

“Keep driving. I am not sure if I’ve been successful.”

Eve did, until everything blurred again. She felt an overwhelming wave of tiredness crash over her and she blinked her eyes to keep them open. She noticed a small turning and made a hard turn into it, but the car bumped and the road turned to grass. The car grounded to a halt. Both of them jerked back into their seats. Eve slumped over the steering wheel, breathing heavily. Villanelle moved closer to her and put the back of her hand against her cheek. Her shoulders heaved up and down as she cried. She just wanted safety and sleep. _Today had been one hell of a day._

Eve’s mind suddenly snapped back to the task on hand and she was expecting to turn around to see a gun in her face or a Range Rover blocking her in. There was nothing behind the car. Had they finally, finally escaped?

“Where are we…” Eve slurred. The toxic potion of tiredness and alcohol were back to clouding her mind and consuming her. The background blurred, all she could feel was Villanelle’s hand smoothing her hair into a more even clump.

“A donkey field.” The voice sounded amused.

“What?”

“You drove us off the road and there is a field of donkeys. Is that our next getaway?”

“No.”

There was silence, and then Eve spoke again.

“Do you think we are safe?”

“Not quite. We need to hit the road now and find somewhere quiet and unassuming. I need you to keep driving Eve, I’m so sorry, but I’m the better aim in case something comes back after us.”

“Okay.”

  
  
Villanelle unclipped her seatbelt, took Eve’s phone and got out of the car, walking behind it and dropping something before taking her seat back in the car.

“We need to destroy it. Drive over it and take us somewhere safe, Eve. I can talk to you to keep you awake. I can talk to you about anything you want.” Villanelle pleaded. She took Eve’s face in her hands again. Eve leaned in and her gaze dropped to Villanelle’s lips before her eyes fluttered shut.  
  
“I would, but letting you close your eyes isn’t a good idea.” Eve opened them again, feeling a tiny pang of disappointment. Villanelle looked down at Eve’s lips and gave her a quick peck, gently pushing her face away from her as she settled into the seat and put her seatbelt back on. Eve smiled and started the car again.

“That’s all the motivation I needed.” She told Villanelle.

  
“When we get out of here I’ll give you all the kisses you want.”

“Bit sappy there, Villanelle.”

Eve backed over the mobile and felt it break underneath the car. She drove over a bump in the grass and the car shook, but she remained focused. Once back out on the central road, she carried on driving. The sun was beginning to rise now and the roads were brighter. She recognised the area, she knew that there was a palace or heritage garden or something Niko had dragged her to at some point. She followed the roads around and got out onto the main high street. The motorways would be quicker but more obvious, and their loud car chase would have attracted the attention of many locals and therefore the police, who may already have a description in mind. 

She thought of the southeast, of Kent. _The Garden of England_ , it was called. There had to be a lush, grassy, quiet village so behind on the news and barely on the map they could hide in for some time. It was on the beach too, so they might finally get the sea holiday they wanted. Villanelle had wanted to save that dress, she hoped it made it into one of the bags and not on the pile of clutter they did not have time to grab as they were leaving.

“I have an idea. It’ll be about an hour and a half until we get there.” Eve said to Villanelle, who was staring out of the window. She did not respond to Eve.

“Hey! If I can’t sleep, neither can you.” She stopped the car. Villanelle jerked forward. She poked about at some buttons on the radio, flipping between each of the stations as Eve started driving again. Villanelle sat upright and unloaded the gun. She could easily sort it if The Twelve came after them again and it gave her something to do. Eve turned the radio up using a button on the steering wheel.

She recognised the song. She had heard it on the radio in the office the day they had shared their first kiss on the bus. _Strange effect._ She had listened to it nonstop after hearing it the first time because it reminded her so much of Villanelle and how she felt, even before this. Maybe the little anecdote will intrigue Villanelle enough to keep her awake as out of the corner of her eye, she could see Villanelle struggle with the same fatigue she was fighting against.

“You know, I listened to this song a lot after the time I met you on the bus.”

Villanelle looked over at Eve, sitting back in her chair. She had put away the gun in the glove compartment somewhere.

“Why?”

“Listen to the lyrics.”

  
  
Villanelle closed her eyes and listened as Eve drove. She hummed along once she had begun to learn the song.

“Are you calling me strange, Eve?”

“Maybe, but I feel like you’re pulling out the wrong lyric.”

“No, I know. You like my strangeness. What effect do I have on you then, Eve?”

“I suppose I’m thinking about how exciting it was that I got to do a car chase with you. You were a phenomenal shot.”

Villanelle laughed. Eve continued.

“I’m sorry for crying and freaking out so much.”

“You are very tired and probably still drunk. It was annoying but understandable. I can give you a better hug when we get to where we are staying tonight.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

Villanelle ended up falling asleep. Eve looked over at her first with jealousy, but her soft snoring was soothing and made Eve smile. The radio was playing a generic news broadcast and as she assumed, there was a mention of a car chase that played out in London being investigated by police but for a call for residents to not be alarmed as it seemed to be between the two cars.

‘We believe the car being chased was being driven by two women. Police are working on trying to establish the identities of the women.’

_Good luck._ Eve thought. She was not even nervous anymore. Some scissors and new clothes could hide their identity easy enough. They were only responsible for each other now anyway. Eve stole a glance at Villanelle while she was waiting for a traffic light to go green. The events of the past day were truly sinking in now - along with a bit of a headache. They seemed to have buzzed through years of a relationship in a day; A proper first kiss, an argument, family baggage and trauma and then literally fighting to save each other’s lives before going on the run together for what could potentially be forever. A terrifying thought to any normal person.

But then why was Eve so happy? Villanelle snoring next to her made her smile. Villanelle caring about her so much made her smile. Her lips still tingled and her face was still red from the kiss. As she drove, Eve was optimistic. For once, she did not regret leaving anything behind. That was when she thought of Konstantin. Self-serving Konstantin who had no loyalties and was as wishy washy as a window cleaner, but concealed a deep love for Villanelle, although unlike that of Eve’s. He cared for her, and in some ways, Eve as if they were a wild daughter of his and that wild daughter’s girlfriend. He really tried to bail them out of an unfortunate situation. They must light a candle in his honour when they find some safety.

Villanelle slept through the entire car ride. It was only when Eve spoke to her that she stirred from her deep sleep.

“We’re here.”

  
  
Eve had parked on top of the hill. At the bottom of the hill was a stony beach and murky, grey waters rolling in and out. It was a traditional British beach.

“Where’s here?”

“Whitstable. Great seafood. Quiet, lots of old people. Enough tourists to make this town not inconspicuous but still quiet enough that we might be okay here. I just need to find a hotel.”

“What about down that little road?”

  
  
Down the little road were residential houses and tucked in the middle of a terrace was a Bed and Breakfast. Both sounded great to Eve, and they even had parking. She pulled in and found a space and then collapsed against the steering wheel. Her eyes dropped shut and she slumped.

Eve felt arms pick her up and move her arm so that she was exerting her body weight onto Villanelle. She heard Villanelle negotiate with the person at check in. All they could offer them was a single bed, but Villanelle said it was okay, that it was more cosy. The other woman asked about Eve, and Villanelle made up a story about being startled by a stone that shattered their window and running down a fox and being devastated. She offered her condolences and Villanelle carried Eve up the stairs.

Once they got in the room, Eve felt her dress unzipped as she was lifted out of it. Villanelle guided her towards the bed, and as soon as the blanket touched Eve’s skin, she crashed. She felt warm arms around her in the few seconds before she drifted.

“Night, Eve.”

“Night. Love you.”


	11. You can sleep on the floor and think about your behaviour.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve sobers up and dwells on the past as Villanelle tries to progress their relationship much too fast for Eve to be comfortable with and causes them to clash. They realise the car chase has attracted national attention and need to plan their next move quickly and hold a small memorial for Konstantin.
> 
> A/N: This chapter does border on the explicit. I wasn't sure whether to up the rating.

“What time is it?” Eve rolled over to instinctively reach for her phone to check the time. The table next to the bed was empty, however, apart from a half-drunk glass of water. Memories of the early hours restored themselves in Eve’s mind: the argument, the car chase, the journey. She sat up and rubbed her eyes and became very aware that she was just in her underwear. Villanelle was sitting on the floor against the bed watching an old television. She turned to look at Eve when she heard her speak, the last rays of the sun catching her face when she turned. It must be late.

“Are you awake properly this time? It’s six-thirty, ish.” Villanelle told her. She turned up the show she was watching as Eve got out of the bed and stood, looking around for her bags to find something to wear. Eve tried to cast her mind back to the morning. She did not remember bringing in any of the bags from the car that would have definitely been looted with its broken window, by now.

“I brought in the bags after I got you in bed. They are by the door for a quick escape if we needed to go.” Villanelle explained and turned up the volume of her show. Eve assumed she had it low because she was sleeping. She walked over to the bags and pulled out the old black cardigan Villanelle was so fond of and threw it on with some of Villanelle’s pajama shorts - very short and a little too tight for Eve. She caught her face in the mirror and could see a lovely purple-blue bruise forming on the bridge of her nose. It was sore to the touch and she winced.

“God, what did I do to my nose?”

“It might have been when you headbutted the steering wheel when you decided to sleep in the car, or walking into the bathroom door when you woke up to use the toilet.” Villanelle chuckled, obviously recalling the memory. Eve tried to remember doing any of those things but her memory distorted sometime just after they had arrived in Whitstable. She sat down next to Villanelle, who had been pulled out of her focus on the television because of an advert break.

“You were in and out of sleep for most of the day. A few hours here and then, then you would wake up, say a few words or get up for a drink or the bathroom and then go back to sleep again. You were quite sweet. You even hugged me once. Well, more threw yourself over me and fell asleep until I rolled you off me.” 

Eve sighed. She still felt incredibly groggy, although part of that was probably from being a little hungover as well as emotional. It was the same feeling she woke up to yesterday; her skin was uncomfortably tight and she was light-sensitive. She held her head. Villanelle’s interests had been caught by something on the television and she gripped Eve’s arm to get her attention.

“What is it?”

“The car chase has made the news.”

Eve looked up at the television. A grainy CCTV video was being displayed of the two of them weaving in and out of traffic down the main road in the car with the black Range Rover following after them. Villanelle’s blonde hair could be made out but the rest of the image was indecipherable. They most likely had the number plate and although Eve followed the route through quiet country roads, it would most likely be able to be traced.

“So we have to get rid of the car?” Eve asked. Villanelle nodded.

“How are we going to do that, though? We have to ditch it somewhere secluded but then we will have to make our way back without any transport.”

“Do you have secondhand sites that we could buy another car or something? Maybe one a little shady so that the person will be quick to get rid of it.” Villanelle asked. Eve knew she was onto something and tried to think. Ebay was too obvious, Facebook linked them to something personal, but she remembered buying a table once off another website where the guy had definitely stolen it from somewhere. She tried to remember the name of the site.

“Maybe Gumtree? I always see a bunch of suspicious listings on there, we might find something. How will we search it, though? We haven’t got a phone or anything.” Eve asked.

“We can get a phone tomorrow, or see if we can use the computer at the reception. I have an idea. We will try a bit later tonight when it’s night since they seem to be a bit more relaxed, then. Or nobody will be around.”

“Okay.” Eve nodded. The television had cut back to the show that Villanelle was watching. She recognised the fast, Latin-inspired jingle from nights at home with Niko. He loved the show and often took her out inspired by it.

“Reruns of Strictly Come Dancing? Is there nothing else on?” Eve was amused.

“I like dancing. I’ve never been to a ballroom. And the outfits. Look, that girl is really good.” Villanelle seemed slightly offended at Eve’s criticism.

“You’ve never been out dancing before?” Eve asked, genuinely curious. She would definitely assume that Villanelle had been assigned to a hit at a luxurious event where her target would approach her, Cinderella style before she would stab them and run away, leaving a corpse instead of a glass slipper. Maybe that was just Eve’s mind, though. She had spent too many minutes back in her dingy office picturing Villanelle out on kills, each fantasy more and more glamorous, and at some point, with her in it.

“No. Not properly out, anyway. I don’t know how to dance well. Do you?” Eve looked over at Villanelle and she looked regretful. She wished she could take her out and teach her to dance but with how things were for them, they could not even afford to think of cutesy dates and fun experiences together. They did not even know if there was a future for them, long term.

“Niko’s bridge club often doubled up as a ballroom dancing class sometimes. We’d get discounts so he would take me there. He wasn’t the best, though, I would always lead.” Eve expected the familiar pang of guilt at sharing an intimate memory of her husband with a woman he hated, but instead she just felt fondness for him, but no guilt or pain. She had finally come to a place where she could accept how she felt for Villanelle and left her feelings for her husband with him. Buried, a memory that would soon be distant.

“Maybe we could-” Eve had to stop her before she got another idea in her head, Villanelle’s impulses had already let to them almost losing their lives once and as much as she relished the memories, even the car chase in a bizarre, thrill-seeking way, they needed to get to safety somehow.

“I think we need to focus on making sure we don’t get found again first. Someday, though, I’ll take you dancing.”

“Promise?” Villanelle looked hopeful but Eve was hesitant. A promise to Villanelle was like putting your life behind your words. If she could not fulfil it, she would be joining her husband in the ground.

“Promise.” Well, she was going to end up there anyway. Last night did not finish them off, but she could imagine The Twelve hated that they had created another mess and were a target being investigated by the police and were probably going to try and take them out again. Eve had panicked through a car chase while Villanelle retreated into herself to bring out her assassin persona. While it was what attracted Eve to her, both of them knew that Villanelle was not a fan of being Villanelle the assassin. Eve had considered whether to call her Oksana, but she had only used that name before to try and assert power over her. The name probably had painful, familial memories attached to it, too.

Konstantin was another thing they would have to navigate at some point. The shots and thuds were a confirmation of his death. There was also the suspicions that he had sold them out. His death irregardless meant that the credit card he had given them would be tracked by The Twelve and they had lost their only informant. Money would begin to run tight and it made their trip run indefinitely. Villanelle also concealed it, but she cared about him, too. Eve was also beginning to warm to him, he had worked as a matchmaker for them both in a roundabout way and as much as Villanelle pretended not to trust him, Eve thought he had their best interests in mind. Villanelle must be grieving again. She needed to comfort her.

“Are you okay?” Villanelle asked. Eve had been staring at Villanelle. She looked concerned and reached out to touch Eve’s face.

“I don’t know. Last night seems like a fever dream.”

“You were tired and a little bit drunk and you’re not used to this. I don’t know if I’m disappointed that you don’t remember what you said to me, though.” She dropped her hand from Eve’s face   
  


“What did I say?” Eve did not know if this was just Villanelle playing or if she had actually said something bad. Villanelle had her usual arrogant smirk on her face so she felt confident in pushing it a bit.

“I guess you’ll find out when you remember.” Villanelle’s expression was one of faux-sadness, broken by the pull of a smile at her lips. She stuck her bottom lip out comically and Eve stood up.

“Whatever. I’m going to have a shower and get ready for tonight. We need to get some food, anyway.” Eve started going through the bag for some toiletries. They had managed to save a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo, she just hoped the B&B had put aside some small bottles. It was a cheap joint, however, so she did not expect much. Her hair was going to be a nightmare to brush, she considered leaving it for another day.

“It is a bath, actually. Quite big, for a room with a single bed.”

“Oh.” It sounded nice, actually. A long soak in the bath and a moment to rest her muscles made Eve’s mood improve dramatically. She wished she had brought a book with her to read, but they did not have bundles of time. A moment to herself with her thoughts would be enough to ground her and calm her from the wild three days she had gone through.

“Can I join you?” Villanelle asked. Eve frowned at her, her shocked response coming out as a stutter. Was Villanelle implying what she thought she was implying, or was Eve just getting the wrong end of the stick?”

“What, like in the bath with me? I’ll be naked, you can’t.”

“We’re going to see each other naked at some point in this trip, anyway. We still have more to talk about and not much time to talk about it. This will be quicker.”  _ Bullshit, Villanelle. You just want to see me naked. _

Although Eve could not argue against the small side of her that would be totally down with that idea. They could plan out their next course of action; how to dispose of the car, where they were going to go next, what they could do for money. The fact that Eve was trying to convince herself it was a good idea meant that it was definitely not a good idea if she wanted to stay focused, but it also reminded her that apart from her own tiny shred of self-imposed morality from her old self, there was really no other reason why she should say no. She caved. It would be a one-all, as Villanelle had already seen her naked in the kitchen after almost drowning her in her own bath. And she was wildly curious to see what Villanelle looked like underneath her eccentric outfits.

“I’ll wash your hair for you.” Villanelle was trying to convince the converted.

“Fine. No funny business, though.” Eve pointed her finger to Villanelle, as if she were telling her off. Villanelle’s eyes lit up. It reminded her of when she agreed to the funfair, that if she had a tail it would be wagging.

Eve stripped off with her back turned to Villanelle and got into the bath, fast. She had loaded up the bath with the entire bottle of complimentary bubble bath and pulled her legs to her chest when she got in. Her hair had been tied up in a bun for now. She looked up at Villanelle, who was laughing in disbelief at her.

“Eve, I have already seen your tits. Why are you hiding?”   
  
Her mind was fighting again. As Villanelle took her top off, she wanted to tear her sight away from her. The part of her that followed societal boundaries was screaming at her that their relationship was progressing too fast, that this was only because they were the only people the both of them had in their lives, and essentially, this was a bad idea. Her lust for Villanelle and her arrogance, to show Villanelle that she could match her, kept her eyes fixed in place. She watched as Villanelle removed her clothes excessively slowly, clearly to tantalise Eve, and dropped each piece on the floor in a pile. 

Eve tried to keep her eyes on her face, but an impulse moved her curious eyes down Villanelle’s body and back up to her face. Her sight went over her chest, she admired the average sized but well balanced pair of breasts, definitely not flat-chested as she had been described to her before. Even from the beginning, Villanelle had led her astray with just a sports bra. Her eyes traced down to a small red scar on her left hip. That was where she had personally marked her by driving a knife through her stomach in Paris. It looked neat now, pretty, almost. Eve wanted to touch it. She was sure she had seen it before when she slept in only her underwear and her cardigan, but now was the only time the room was well lit. She took a quick peek below the belt but turned away at the first sight of hair, embarrassed, as if she were breaking boundaries. It had broken her own fantasies of Villanelle, she had always imagined her impeccably groomed but comforted her about her own unkempt body.

“Are you done looking? Can I get in now?” Eve turned away and leaned on the side of the bath with her elbow, hiding her mouth with her hand. She did not even bother to reply to her. Eve felt the water move and the slippery feeling of legs against her feet. There were hands on her knees, a light pressure. She looked back at Villanelle, who had leaned forward against Eve and seemed to be trying to push her knees down softly. Was it ever possible to escape this odd game of trying to one-up each other?

“Why are you ashamed of your body?” Villanelle asked. Eve was silent. She had never really thought about it. Her body was average. Niko would tell her she was beautiful but it was just pleasantries, not a compliment. It always seemed so fake coming from men who would spin long lies to draw women into bed. A compliment from a beautiful woman she admired always meant more to Eve.

“Put your knees down, Eve. Tell yourself it will give us more room.”

Eve did as she was told. Banter with Villanelle was one thing she could give as good as she got, but any command from Villanelle made her weak at the knees. Her after wine was willing to relinquish all control over to Villanelle and follow her every word. Eve sober was not quite able to let go of her desire for dominance, but it was most definitely overpowered for her desire for Villanelle, and especially when she was sitting in front of her without anything covering her.

“Don’t ever think you aren’t beautiful, Eve.” Villanelle reached for the soap while Eve needed a moment to catch her breath.

Once Eve’s initial awkwardness had faded, both of them settled into a conversation to plan out their actions. Villanelle was washing her hair while Eve had taken the soap and was rubbing it into her body.

“Whoever is going to be selling us a car will probably want a number to contact us. We don’t have a phone.” Eve voiced her concerns. They needed to get rid of this car as quickly as possible and waiting an extra day would not help. Shops would be shut by now, though. She cursed herself for sleeping too long into the day.

“I still have the shitty brick phone you got me. It is in my bag.” Villanelle informed her. Eve had to think. The Twelve could be tracking the number but there had to be a way to use it. The thing did not have any sort of internet, so surely it could be safe.

“The Twelve might be tracking the number. We need to find a way to get a different number.”

“We could buy another SIM card.” Villanelle suggested. She was onto something, but timing was still a problem. Villanelle slipped under the water, nudging Eve in the arm. She rinsed her hair and then used a cup she had brought in with her to rinse the last little bits. The hotel may have had a bath, but there was no shower with it, so washing hair was a little trickier.

“Where would we get a SIM card at this time in the evening, though?” 

“I don’t know.” Villanelle was lathering her hair again. Eve washed her face with the cloth, trying to think. She threw the cloth down when she had an idea.

“I’ve got it! Most corner shops sell cheap SIM cards to tourists with prepaid plans. We can get one of those and use that on your phone. Can they track burner phones?”   
  


“No idea. We have very little to lose, though.”

“Yeah, apart from our lives.”

“I still have the gun. I hid it in the sanitary towel bin. I’m sure we can find you another axe somewhere.” Villanelle grinned at the memory. Eve grimaced, all she could remember was her churning stomach and shaky limbs as Raymond’s finger twitched out the last remnants of his life. 

“Killing isn’t really my thing.”

“It’s not mine. But I would do it for you.” Villanelle raised an eyebrow at Eve. She looked hurt. Eve had been her champion in defending her against the likes of Carolyn and Konstantin when they suggested that all she did was kill, but then implied that she thought the same to Villanelle. There was a few moments of awkward silence between them as VIllanelle finished her hair and Eve finished with the soap.

“Can you turn around, Eve? So I can do your hair.”

Eve obliged. It was difficult to spin around in the bath which, unlike Villanelle suggested, was really only suitable for one person, Trying to get comfortable pushed her closer to Villanelle and she could feel a light finger run down her back, over her scar.

“I thought it would have been lower. I guess my aim was off.” It was just an observation from Villanelle’s point of view, but it angered Eve. She was admiring her handiwork that nearly finished her off. She untied her hair and let it fall down her back so that the scar was partially covered. It was a gesture with a simple message;  _ Fuck off, Villanelle. _

“Well, we wouldn’t be here if it was. Good thing those tourists found me.” It was a sharp comment. The fingers went from her scar to her hair as she felt water pouring down her back to get it wet. She shuddered at the sensation of it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Villanelle asked, her voice was low. She was massaging Eve’s scalp with shampoo and Eve closed her eyes. It felt nice, relaxing. She was enjoying this. She did not want to sour the moment with another heated conversation between the pair, especially now Villanelle was her only chance of surviving. That, and they had to share a single bed for the next night, at least. Sharing a bed with someone who is pissed off and who could definitely kill was not ideal. She had barely thought of Rome in the past few months. The memory of being abandoned on the floor by the woman she had just killed for was too painful.

“Honestly? No. I was unconscious for most of it, anyway.”

“What happened after?” Villanelle was rinsing the first lot of shampoo out of her hair, now.

“I don’t really know. I woke up in a hospital where I didn’t understand what anyone was saying, I had been out for a while. They transported me back to London and I stayed there for a couple of weeks. My vitals were fine, you missed my heart and lungs but I had broken ribs from the impact of the bullet and the floor so I couldn’t move for a while. My aunt came to visit me after my mother found out what had happened and sorted out a job and an apartment for me. Niko would bring stuff sometimes and buy me books, but he would never talk to me about anything personal. On the last visit, he brought me divorce forms.”

“Sounds shit.”

“Yeah, not the highlight of my life. You got to have a saucy affair with a woman at the airport and get married, I got to watch mine crumble.”

“We’re both here, now.”

Eve didn’t respond. Villanelle was combing the conditioner through the ends of her hair with her fingers. She at least wanted to enjoy some of this, after all, that was the reason she had invited Villanelle to join her. It definitely was not to argue about the past while naked. In a story, this would probably be some sort of metaphor but in the stark, yellow lights of the cheap bathroom, this was miserable.

“You know I meant what I said in Rome. And I do know what it means.” Villanelle emphasised the ‘do.’

Eve was not convinced. They had been shacked up together for what, four days? Already Villanelle was chirping about love, almost using the word cheaply. Eve had to admit, they had been quite lovey-dovey with things like the fair, shopping together and the concert, and a lot of that was down to her. It had only been three days of time together, though. Was this really love, for Villanelle, or was it infatuation? A case of just-make-do with the only woman in her life right now. Villanelle was whimsical, fleeting. All it would take would be a small disagreement and a cute brunette to walk past them before she would leave and that thought haunted Eve.

She still could not let go of the side to her tied by rules and respect and honour. Eve felt that she was running off to have an affair with the woman who had indirectly led her to bury her husband. If they had just never met, Eve would still be in her comfortable suburban London house with her husband and his cooking and his missionary. Her back would not have a scar and she would not be on the run from both the police and a deadly organisation.

This was the first time in years of a dull marriage that she felt alive, though. Eve had accepted there were deep cracks in their marriage, the appearance of Villanelle just smashed them even more. She had married for safety because of her mother’s expectations. Niko was nice, he bought her trinkets and cooked her bland, homely food while he spoke fondly of the students he taught. He was never jealous openly and would always ask for her to text him when she got to certain places. It was only when her job and the murders ramped up that he got too protective. It all started from the dress in the hotel room she shared with Bill.

She had the girl, she had the feelings, she just needed the scissors to snip the last tie of society’s bullshit morality expectations.

“Do you want to know what you said to me last night?” It was a whisper that seemed too close to her ear for comfort.

Eve turned her head to look over her shoulder at Villanelle. Oh, she was close. There were mere centimetres between them. Villanelle was playing again, but already stripped bare, this made it dangerous for Eve.

“You told me you loved me.”

Eve let out a nervous laugh. Villanelle’s seducing smile was gone when she did that. She was serious.

“When?”

“Last night. While you were drifting. You said some pretty romantic things this morning, too. That you were happy to finally be with me.”

_ Shit. _ The faint memory resurfaced in Eve’s mind of mumbling to Villanelle as she was falling asleep comfortably. Was it really the love that Villanelle seemed to interpret it as? She was drunk, she was tired, she was thankful for Villanelle saving her life and helping her into the bed. It had been less than a day since they shared their first proper kiss. Was there really room for love, yet?

“It was just a term of endearment, I was drunk and emotional and grateful to you for helping me. I don’t think it means what you think it means.” She was stammering, getting flustered. Villanelle leant up and over her, almost pinning her to the wall at the top of the bath. Eve sank down, only her head and shoulders were poking above the water. She was lying down and Villanelle was pretty much on top of her.

“Villanelle…” It was a breathless cry.

“Was it? Was it really just ‘a term of endearment,’ Eve? And you tell me I don’t know what love means.” Villanelle threw her words back in her face. She questioned it, too.

Villanelle closed her eyes and her lips met Eve’s. Eve did not resist but let Villanelle lead. It was unlike the first kiss they had shared in the concert. It was not soft. It was not romantic. Villanelle was pulling on Eve’s bottom lip to part her mouth, gripped her hair in one hand and slipped her tongue in. It was a surprise to Eve and she could not quite stop the moan that escaped into Villanelle’s mouth. Villanelle stopped for a second. It changed the dynamic completely, spurring Villanelle on to be more passionate. She found her lips again and pinned her to the bath, kissing her, dropping her lips down to her neck and then back up to her mouth. Eve’s eyes rolled back and her gaze became half-lidded and wild. She was panting.

Eve could feel her legs shaking underneath Villanelle as she pushed her body into Eve’s. Every part of them were touching: chest, hips, thighs. Villanelle’s hand moved from Eve’s hair and onto one of her breasts, cupping it. She was still on Eve’s neck with her lips, kissing, nuzzling her.

She could feel the familiar burn of arousal between her legs and it made her squirm. It was uncomfortable, overwhelming, dizzying, completely unlike anything she had felt in years with Niko. Maybe at the start of their relationship but not for many years. She could feel her legs instinctively pushing up to meet Villanelle, wanting more, while her confused mind was screaming conflicting feelings. She wanted it, but this was too fast, too uncertain, too quick, too spontaneous. Everything she had craved but she longed to hold onto the motions. She wanted it to be safe and loving, laughing and kind. Not a quick, passionate clinch after an unsolved argument and in the middle of being pursued. Eve found the strength to grip Villanelle’s shoulder, hard, and lift her off.

“No, we can’t. Not like this. Villanelle.”

Villanelle moved off her and kneeled on the far end of the bath as Eve caught her breath and sat up.

“You were into that.” Villanelle’s statement was not a lie and Eve would not pretend it was.

“I was. But, this is a lot. Too much at the moment. I mean it’s only been three days since we saw each other again, usually building feelings and a connection can take months between a couple. I don’t want this to be lust or to be over as quickly as it began. I don’t know what there is between us, what you want or what I want, but this...is a lot for me to handle.” Eve tried to explain to her. She was looking at her knees, too ashamed to see Villanelle’s expression and show her the flustered one she was wearing. She watched the water swirl as Villanelle got out of the bath and followed her across the room with her eyes.

“Why do people believe these bullshit ideals? That babies don’t cry, that you need to follow time restraints in relationships? We don’t have a lot of time, Eve. We don’t know how much time we have. I know what I want. You just need to sort yourself out. Come and talk to me when you have realised that. We need to get ready for tonight so hurry up.” Villanelle was leaning over the bath, leaning over Eve. She took a towel from the railings, wrapped it around her and walked out.

If Eve was pinned by Villanelle’s sultry commands, she definitely obeyed her angry ones. Eve got out of the bath and walked over to find a towel but saw that there was only a hand towel.

“Fuck.” She threw it on the floor.

They left the hotel to find an open store shortly after nine in the evening. The sun was mostly down and people were on the high street, waiting to catch buses into towns to hit clubs or to go home from a day at the beach. Villanelle wore the red dress and straw hat combo she had worn yesterday morning and Eve wore the striped trousers but opted for a black short sleeved shirt rather than the sleeveless turtleneck Villanelle hated. Most of the shops were closed apart from a Sainsburys Local and a couple of off-licenses. They were less public than the Sainsburys so they chose one on the corner.

“Pretend you’re an American tourist who can’t work out your phone. I’ll get some food and stuff, too.” Eve instructed. Villanelle pulled a sarcastic face.

“What are we, an American couple on holiday together on the cosy British seaside?”

“Sure, whatever. You can bring out Billie again if you would like.” Eve brushed her off. She knew Villanelle was seeking a reaction.

“I like to know my role well. So you need to be specific.”

“We know that’s not the truth since you don’t like to read files. But fine, we can be a couple.” Eve just needed to get rid of the car at this point. Walking past it on the way out of the hotel stressed her out.

As soon as they went into the store, Villanelle slipped into her role of Billie and her accent was impeccable. She walked over to the counter and spoke to Eve while she went to look at some groceries.

“Oh, Eve, I’ll just ask this gentleman here, he might be able to help. Sir, I bought this phone but I cannot figure out for the life of me how to call people. I need a SIM card, do you have that here?”

“Okay, love. I’ll just pick up some bits for tonight.” Eve grimaced once she turned towards the shelves. It felt so unnatural.

She filled the basket with some snacks, some tea for her, something sweet for Villanelle and things like cereal bars and other stuff that would hold up well in travel. She did pick up some fruit as an attempt to be healthy. They had eaten like rubbish for the past few days and they most likely needed enough stamina to run if they needed to.

“All sorted, thank you! Eve, sweetheart, I’m going to go outside and try to send a text to my sister. I’ll meet you outside!” The word sweetheart made her feel a bit nauseous. This fake attempt at being a smitten couple made her cringe but in a way, seemed so natural. It was as if the universe was telling her that they were already destined for each other.

She paid for the items and at the till, noticed they were displaying small shot bottles. A double shot in each one, she noticed a vodka one and thought of Konstantin. Villanelle was also battling her grief for him, most likely. She felt that she needed to honour the man who had spun the series of events that had left them adventuring together, and it might have been a good way to get back onto Villanelle’s good side.

“Ah, two of these vodka shots please too.” She paid, thanked the cashier, apologised for Villanelle’s too friendly behaviour and left.

Villanelle was already walking a few paces ahead of Eve back to the hotel and she had to jog to catch up to her, holding a bag. She tried to pass it to Villanelle but she would not take it.

“You can carry it. As punishment for pissing me off.” It was not that much of a punishment but Eve snorted anyway.

“I-”

“What are you going to say that we need to do? That we need to talk? Is that your excuse for everything, because I don’t want to hear it. You need to start speaking in the same way you act.” Eve stopped behind Villanelle. Everything was so turbulent and unstable all she wanted to do was cry.

“I am trying, you know! This is just a lot…”

“Yes, like that. Perfect. Keep looking upset like that.”

“What?” Villanelle walked over to Eve, smiling, and put her arm around her, walking her back to the hotel. Eve was confused. Had she just been played?

  
  
“You’re a shit actress so I just got you started,” Villanelle whispered near her ear before seemingly morphing back into her American persona. 

“Oh babe, don’t worry! I’m sure we can ask if the hotel people can track it. We’ll find it, don’t worry!” Villanelle was loud, pushing Eve through the doors of the hotel. She walked up to the desk, Eve dawdled behind her, still lost.

“Hi! My girlfriend lost her phone and we don’t have any way to track it. She’s really upset because it had pictures of her friend Niko who died in an accident. Can we use your computer to see if we can track it? We’d really appreciate it.” Villanelle was buttering up the hotel staff. Eve glared daggers into her back. Using Niko was a low blow and she knew that Villanelle had done it to get to her. How could she even consider a relationship with someone who was awfully petty every time they came to blows? The wave of fury passed as quickly as it came on and she walked over to join Villanelle at the counter.

“We have a lounge where customers can relax. There’s wi-fi and a couple of computers you can use. They’re old, but I hope you can find what you need.” Eve’s face dropped. They went through all of that just for free use computers anyway? Villanelle just seemed to be showing off.

“Oh, thanks so much! Come on babe, let’s find your phone.”

Once they were in the room, only occupied by the two of them so late at night, Eve confronted her again.

“It wasn’t necessary to use Niko like that.”

Villanelle was sitting in the computer chair, legs draped over to the side, setting up something that looked like a VPN or a block so that she would not be traced. She was scrolling Gumtree. No luck on the car front, but there was a motorcycle within budget.

“Can you ride a motorcycle? Guess we’ll have to make do.”

“Villanelle.”

“Eve, if you spent enough time thinking about our lives as much as your dead husband, we might actually have a shot at not being murdered by The Twelve. We could even go to the beach you wanted and eat doughnuts on the sand.” Villanelle was scribbling down some notes on a piece of paper by the computer. She got up and took the piece of paper with her.

  
“I am going to bed. I’ll contact these numbers and try to arrange something. Tomorrow, we get you a new phone and you’re going to take that stick out of your arse if you want to survive.”

As she got up, she walked over to Eve and forced Eve to move back. She could feel the wall behind her as Villanelle leaned into her. Eve’s eyes closed and she held her breath.

“Maybe when you stop being a little bitch about being in love with the woman who you chose to chase, then you might actually get some.”

Villanelle walked off. Eve wanted to be angry, furious, but she laughed once she knew Villanelle was out of earshot. She looked at the computer and thought of those awful dancing shows that Villanelle liked to watch reruns of. She had an idea, it was reckless and expensive but Villanelle had backed her into a corner. Eve liked the dates, she liked Villanelle. Maybe not love. Not yet, but she knew that the next few days were going to be awkward and she needed to make her feelings clear. She had a goal, she wanted to knock Villanelle out from under her feet so she could catch her, to make her as breathless as she made Eve just by existing.

She sat down on the computer and researched ballrooms. There were a few, lacklustre and boring. Not enough grandeur for Villanelle’s first dance lesson. Up popped a nightclub called The Ballroom. Eve clicked on it anyway, and with a dance floor, a chandelier and a bar, it looked nice. It was very art deco, with a plush black wall and lights that could throw the room into different shades: purples, reds were just some of the options. There were black sofas to sit down afterwards and maybe talk out the mess of their life. It offered private hire. Eve wrote down the contact details on one of the notes near the laptop and put it in her pocket. It would be expensive, but that was the goal to work towards when they finally hit a place of safety.

Her foot touched the bag of groceries. She wondered if Villanelle had eaten today and she remembered that she had not. It was only ten-thirty, she wondered if Villanelle would still be awake. She cleared the computer’s history, closed it down and took the bag up to the hotel room with her, thanking the member of staff at the counter on the way.

Villanelle was watching a show on the floor again, she had changed into some sleepwear. She did not even look up as Eve came into the room. She took the bag over to the little table where a complimentary coffee area had been made up. She took the mug and the glass provided and the little bowl and sat down next to Villanelle on the floor.

“Have you eaten? I know I wasted a lot of the day but we should keep our energy up. Here.” Eve opened up the pot of mixed fruit, some crackers, some pre-cut slices of cheese and a bag of madeleine cakes.

“I also bought some pot noodles and porridge since I saw we had a kettle. We can try and make it down for breakfast tomorrow, though.”

Villanelle picked at the fruit, Eve went for the cheese and crackers. The madeleines were left untouched. Villanelle had turned the television over to a film, it was about vampires and romance. Teenage stuff, something she had probably laughed at with Niko over a bottle of wine. Villanelle seemed fascinated by it, though. Her eyes never left the screen. Eve remembered that she always wanted someone to watch movies with, but the gap between them felt uncomfortable.

“Twilight? I didn’t have you down as a goth romance fan.” Eve tried to make conversation. It felt false.

“I like the music, the lullaby. Also, the fact that he ripped someone apart with his teeth for the girl that he loved is very romantic.” Villanelle took a cake and nibbled around the edge of it, still staring at the screen.

“Oh yeah, truly the pinnacle of romance. God, I wonder if it counts as cannibalism if a vampire eats another vampire. Do they even have the same blood?”

“You know, Eve, I have killed someone with my teeth before.” Villanelle was trying to shock her. Surprisingly, Eve was not too phased. She had seen Villanelle choke someone to death with spices and castrate others. It seemed like a relatively normal kill.

“Didn’t you have a weapon?”

“No, I was in prison on an assignment for another kill. She came at me with a razor blade so I had to make do.”

“What was it like?”

“Bitter. Metallic. I really do not like the taste of blood.”

“Would you do it again?”

“I would only kill someone if I had to or if the life of someone I cared about was at risk.”

_ Would you kill someone for me? _ It was a question Eve left unspoken. It was a hefty confession anyway. Villanelle wanted to be away from her lifestyle. Maybe that was why she was so protective over the memory of these past couple of days. It was the only moments of normal - well, as close to normal as Villanelle got - in her life. Villanelle wanted to move on, Eve still dwelled in the past. She probably needed to stop that.

“Oh, I have something for us.” Eve changed the subject. She took out the mini bottles of vodka and poured each one into a seperate cup. Villanelle looked puzzled.

“Konstantin once said to me that he drinks vodka not because it’s Russian, but because it helps. I thought we should have a moment for him, anyway. He’s the reason we’re here, after all.”

Villanelle took the glass and sniffed it. She wrinkled her nose.

“He was just my handler.”

“Was he? You can be sad about him, you know.”

“Yes. I know.”

They touched glasses and drank the vodka. It was foul and burned on the way down. Both of them coughed and pushed the glasses away quickly.

“I think that was the worst thing I have ever tasted.” Villanelle said once she had recovered. Eve was not sure if the tears in her eyes were from the awful vodka or Konstantin.

“It was pretty cheap.” Eve spluttered. The silence returned as the credits to the film began to roll.

“I’m sorry. About today.” Eve said.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry for trying it on with you.”

“I never said it was a no, I just said it was a not now.”   
  


“Why do you think we have only been together for three days?”

“What?” Eve was confused. It had been only three days. She tried to count the dates again in her head. It was definitely three days.

“We have known each other for almost a year. Did you not consider that you felt anything for me in that year?”

“What makes you say that? It was my job…”

“You speak about being normal a lot. A normal person would not give up everything just to hunt someone else out unless they felt something for them, am I wrong? Unless you just had a really boring life before.”

_ You know she’s not wrong on both accounts. _ Responding would have created another awkward conversation. Eve decided to leave it and take the cups to wash them up. Once she was done, Villanelle went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Eve made a cup of herbal tea and turned the TV over to the news. It had stopped mentioning them, at least. Local news in Kent was different to London. A lot less stabbings, more neighbourly disputes and shoplifting. It would be fairly easy to find a secluded place to ditch a car, but less easy to find somewhere without old ladies with the police on speed dial. She changed into something comfy to sleep in and put the note with the number in her bag for later. It seemed she would be concealing notes for this entire trip.

“Don’t stay up too late, Eve. We need to leave early. Goodnight.” Villanelle got into the bed and spread out.

“Where am I supposed to sleep if you’re going to take up the whole bed?”

“You can sleep on the floor and think about your behaviour.”

Eve had to agree with Villanelle. She loved Villanelle’s petty side as much as her soft side, and that clearly did not make her normal.


	12. You've been very cuddly today.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They burn the car on a lush countryside hill while Eve falls in love. Villanelle begins to get serious while Eve struggles to keep a hold on her feelings until the right time.

Eve had tried to get comfortable in the threadbare armchair by the door. In the end, she gave up, waited until Villanelle was snoring before shoving her over to the wall and sleeping in the bed alongside her. She had tried to fall asleep at a reasonable time, but after sleeping most of the day, she only managed to steal a few hours at 5am. The alarm Villanelle had set blared two hours later and Eve felt as if she only had seconds of sleep. She woke up to Villanelle’s arm loosely thrown over her chest.

“Did you think about what you had done?” She asked Eve

“Not really.” She turned to face Villanelle and smiled at her. Villanelle pulled her hand away from Eve.

“The shops here open at nine, I have to pick the motorcycle up at nine-thirty. I will go and get the motorcycle and drive it to one of the quiet streets, you go into town and pick up a mobile. Text me once it is set up.”

“How are we going about this, then?”

“I’m not quite sure.” Eve sat up and leaned against the bed. Villanelle joined her, leaning against the wall and swinging her legs over Eve’s.

“I’ll see if I can find a hardware store in town. We can use the leftover petrol in the car to burn it or I can take the number plates off or something. I can get some tape for the back window just in case anybody asks. Or do you think burning it would be too risky?”

“Both are as bad as each other. If we leave the car there, we are leaving evidence there. If we burn it, it will cause a scene but will destroy any trace of us there.”

“So boom it is?”

“Boom it is. What do we do after? It is probably not a good idea to stay here.” Villanelle was right. They needed to move, but Eve was already tired of moving. She thought about the packages Konstantin had given them, there were fake documents and good quality passport replicas that provided them with name changes and a getaway. Eve loved London, but she also quite liked being alive. She thought of Villanelle’s Parisian apartment. Did she still have it? Was it still safe?

“Do you still have that apartment in Paris?” Eve asked. Villanelle shook her head.

“Even if I did, it was paid for by The Twelve. I might have a few connections I can pull. What are you thinking?”

“We could move onto Canterbury tonight. It’s a little less out in the boonies, more shops and stuff. Also has a good train line into Ashford and London which could take us anywhere in the country. There’s also Ebbsfleet, I was thinking we could use the fake passports and hide out in Paris or Brussels for a while.

“Brussels might be an idea. Good chocolate. Less people.”

“How will we work?”

“Tourist cafes? I could freelance for a while, if things get desperate.” Villanelle was staring out of the window, her eyes unfocused when she mentioned freelancing.

“No. No, definitely not. I don’t want you to have to go back to something you don’t want to do. We can both get jobs in the tourism sector.” 

Villanelle turned her head towards Eve, smiling at her.

“It sounds nice. Hopefully we make it.”

“I hope so, too. Shall we take advantage of the breakfast here before we have to leave? I’ll pay for another night here just so we can keep our stuff here, but we’ll duck out before evening.”

“Sure. Let me get ready.”

The breakfast was cheap and bland, but to the both of them, it was the first proper meal in more than a day. Eve opted for some poached eggs on toast and tea, while Villanelle was working her way through a breakfast wrap and some orange juice. Villanelle seemed back to her usual self and Eve still thought of the ballroom she had looked up the details for the night before. They were spending a night in Canterbury, maybe two. She was weighing up whether to risk it for another memory, or save any sort of romantic reconciliation between the two of them for Brussels, or Paris, or wherever they may end up. She was nervous and suddenly her poached eggs seemed to go rotten before her eyes. She pushed them away. Villanelle noticed and stopped spooning in the yogurt she had moved onto.

“Eve? Is everything okay?”

  
“Yeah, just nervous. I’m not really that good at things where I don’t have a plan.”

“I wouldn’t say you’re not good, you’re just not used to it. We can change that.” Villanelle went back to her yogurt.

“What do you do when you don’t have a plan?”

“Improvise. Sometimes you have to. As long as you get to the end, who cares how you got there?” Typical Villanelle. Only focused on the gratification. Eve quite liked that about her though.

“The journey can be nice, though.”

Sometime later, Eve found herself in the middle of a high street. She had opted for the white pleated dress Villanelle loved, not intentionally, but because it was warm.  _ Okay, maybe semi-intentionally. _ She had gotten the times wrong, forgetting that Kent definitely did operate using Sunday trading hours. While she sat on a bench outside, sipping on an iced coffee she thought only of Villanelle. She had no way to contact her and tell her that she might be waiting for a while. Eve spent the time waiting walking up and down the highstreet, fiddling with her hair. It was warm so she put it up. She tried to emulate the same low ponytail Villanelle had done in the morning but it really did not go, so she found her style in a mid-pony. As she walked down the street, she noticed that one of the secondhand electronics shops was already open.

“Oh thank God.” Someone definitely looked at her as she spoke.

Sorting out a phone was relatively easy, but expensive for what it was. It was an outdated, dented and scratched smartphone, but it would do for now. It would do until they were safe and Eve hoped that it was old enough to be little risk for pickpockets and regular thieves, too. She texted Villanelle quickly, apologising about the wait and noticed the second number on the piece of paper. It was for The Ballroom. It was a silly idea, but Eve was already dialling the number. She sat down on the bench outside, she had hoped Villanelle could get back to her sharply.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is The Ballroom, Canterbury, how can I help?”

“How much would it cost to hire out your ballroom tomorrow night? I presume that as it’s a Monday, you won’t be using it as a nightclub?”

The other person on the phone reeled off terms and conditions and what would be included. Eve zoned out. It was only the price that brought her back into reality. It was expensive. Really expensive, Eve could not even face up to the numbers herself. Was it even worth it? Or was this just another vanity project because she had a nice daydream about her and Villanelle dancing? She thought of Villanelle in the hotel, eyes fixated on the twirling dresses, commenting on the moves. She had always wanted to dance. Eve could teach her in the hotel room to Spotify music if she wanted to learn.

It was not very Villanelle, though, was it? Eve winced as she punched her credit card details into the phone. Villanelle had mentioned she had some of her own money left, and the cards given to her by Konstantin were prepaid. It was one final treat before they departed England for a better life in Europe and Eve convinced herself that it was better if they went out in style.

_ And together. _

Once she had sorted out the booking, she texted Villanelle and looked up the address of a local hardware store. She picked up the items she needed: some tape, scrap wood, gloves, tubing and a plastic container, made some excuse about filling up her tank with the wrong kind of fuel and made her way back to the hotel to wait for Villanelle. A lot of time passed but it was still silent from Villanelle’s end. 

Eve went back up to the room, packed up the bags and ditched some more things they did not need so that they only had one overnight bag each, and Eve’s handbag. She took the car keys and remembered the plush bears sitting on the backseat. The large one had a hole through his head, but she thought about the little black bear and panda Villanelle had decided to keep. She went down to the car with the tape to fix up the back window and put in the bag of equipment and saw that, surprisingly, the bears were still there, so she took them out to return to the hotel room. Once back in the hotel room, Eve noticed that Villanelle had taken over two hours. She was anxious. 

Everything was still in the room so Villanelle could not have possibly run off, unless she was colluding with The Twelve and had ditched Eve. She definitely did not want to consider that because it sounded awful and untrue, but her cautious ability to look at each and every option before weighing up the options was one of the reasons why she was so good at her job. It also meant she saw through bullshit, and apart from the bravado to conceal her hurt, Villanelle had been getting less and less, full of bullshit. The same could not be said for Eve, but she was trying, anyway. The other option was less appealing in a way. Villanelle could be hurt. They could have taken the money and ran off. Of course, she imagined Villanelle had taken the gun with her - it was not in the sanitary bin, Eve had checked - and even though she did not want to, would willingly fight if she needed to. It still did not stop her from dwelling on negative possibilities: she had been caught, outnumbered, harmed. Eve hated what her thoughts had descended into at this point, but they definitely clarified one thing.

She cared very deeply for Villanelle and did not want to be without her. Was this the love that Villanelle was chasing from her? Had she finally found it?

The phone sounded and Eve grabbed it within seconds. Oh yes, she had found it. 

Villanelle had texted her the address of a road.  _ Bring the car _ .

As she walked out of the Bed and Breakfast, the receptionist smiled at her. She smiled back as he spoke to her.

“Did you find your phone?”

“No, unfortunately not. I got a new one in town today though, apparently photos can be backed up to a cloud anyway? So most of them were saved, but thank you for the help.” Eve explained. Villanelle had set her up to play the more ditzy part of the two, so Eve rolled along with her character. She pitched her American twang a little higher and more expressive than her usual, deeper voice.

“You’ve been doing a lot of running about today.” Eve disliked this, she hated prying people. Her smile dimmed for a second before she picked it up again.

“Yeah, we found a place to fix the car, finally. Means we can head out to where we actually want to go.”

“On a Sunday?” The receptionist was not even looking at her, he was going through some paperwork.  _ Why was this nosy bastard so interested in them? _

“Yeah, we offered a bit of overpay to get the job done. We really need to get going.”

The receptionist said nothing.

“Okay, bye!” Eve walked out in a hurry, an anxious pang in her heartbeat. He had said nothing to them the last day or two, but was now invested in their story. Was it because the hotel had no other guests, or had someone pointed out who they were in the investigation and he had recognised them? Or was he just another spy from The Twelve?   


  
Eve really needed to calm down. She needed to act normal. She got in the car, checked that the petrol was still fine as they had driven an hour the other day - it was - and looked at the back window. She had tried to tape over the hole but left the back mostly open but it still made for a difficult and noticeable drive. Most likely borderline illegal. Normally, the thought of illegal stuff did not phase her, but she had someone else to take care of, now. Ending up in a prison cell for them would be synonymous with ending up dead.

_ You really need to calm down. _

Eve drove to the location to see Villanelle leaning against the wall with the motorbike in front of her. She was wearing black jeans, a white top and a black bomber jacket with her hair tied back in her usual sleek ponytail. The two of them could not look anymore different. She seemed to be chatting to someone across the road. Eve pulled up and got out of the car, going over to greet Villanelle. She kissed her on the cheek as if it was normal and then quickly pulled back, realising what she had done.

“What took you so long? I would have thought you would be waiting for me since I got the shop times wrong, I thought something happened...actually, no, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

_ We’re not going to talk about that. _

“We can sort it out later. What do you think of the bike?” Villanelle was speaking in her faux-American accent but she had a wide, mischievous grin.

_ We are going to talk about that. _

Villanelle put her arm around her and Eve was confused as to why Villanelle was playing a character. There must have been a reason behind it so Eve kept Villanelle’s arms around her shoulder and played along, although everything she said sounded like a question.

“It’s nice, looks to be in great condition and there’s room. Do you feel okay with driving it?”

“Of course, Eve! The guys who sold it to me said they’d even throw in an extra helmet for you, on one condition.”

“You told them about me? What’s the condition?” Eve frowned at Villanelle. She leaned in, taking Eve’s face in her hand. The hand around her shoulders dropped to her waist, jerking her closer to Villanelle. Eve knew what was happening, but why? Was this yet another tease?

“Close your eyes, okay?”

She knew it was coming, she knew what Villanelle was going to do, but she still jerked a little when Villanelle leaned in and kissed her. Villanelle had her face cupped in a way that almost hid them from view of passersby. She never did soft and gentle, but it was not as ferocious as in the bath yesterday. Eve leaned into Villanelle’s hand and let her eyes fall shut. It was okay to enjoy this, she kept telling herself. It was only when she heard other voices that she realised the condition. She was not alone.

“Oi, Oi!” Followed by cheering. The voices sounded like typical British teenage men. Eve snapped away, irritated. She was not prepared to become the addition to some teenage boys’ wank banks in return for a free helmet. She wiped her mouth, Villanelle turned to the boys who were outside a house on the opposite side of the street.

“Are you happy now?” She shouted at them. One of them walked out of the gates and handed over the other helmet. Villanelle snatched it

“It’ll do. Was expecting someone younger.” He smirked and walked back across the road. Villanelle was already walking back to the car to put the helmets into the backseat. Eve got ready to question her but Villanelle picked up on it as she went to open her mouth.

“It was either that or showing them my tits. That was more fun.” She turned back to Eve with a wink.

Eve had to agree. She probably would have sulked with jealousy if Villanelle had picked the first one and in some ways, it brought them a little more back to normal. Her phone sounded. Villanelle turned around to look at her.

  
“Who was that? You’re only supposed to have my number.”

Eve looked at her phone. It was the confirmation email for the booking she had made. She shoved the phone back in her pocket.

“It was from the phone company, they’re sending an email about the SIM card and asking me if I wanted to upgrade. I’ll delete it later. Are you leading or am I?” Eve asked.

“You are. You cannot see out of the back of your car and you know this area better than I do. Do you have any ideas of where to ditch the car?”

“I remember a hill that was pretty stark, closer to the top. I can imagine we would have to be quick because a fire would be noticeable, but it’s all I’ve got.”

“It’ll do. We will just have to leave quickly. Running down a hill on a motorcycle is quite fun, anyway. Not so good for your dress, though” Villanelle took the other helmet and clipped it on. Eve looked down at her dress. It was white and flowing, but at least it was short enough to be not too much of a problem. She just hoped she did not get it too dirty, since this was the dress Villanelle chose for her.

“It’s about twenty minutes south.”

“Sounds good. Lead the way.”

The drive was uneventful. Eve spent most of it checking behind her to see that Villanelle was still following her as they drove through the town and onto the hill. She definitely noticed a few stares from people just going about their day, it was a busy beach town in the height of summer, but nobody seemed to raise awareness. Once they were onto the path towards the hill, Villanelle swerved around Eve and drove up to her window.

“Hi, Eve.”

“You like doing that, don’t you?”

Villanelle grinned. It was infectious and Eve found herself with a giddy smile.

“How far are we going up?”

“It’s more grassy on the right hand side. Not too far up because we’ll be in the beauty spot and a lot of people like to take picnics there.”

They drove for another ten minutes, Eve leading, Villanelle switching from following on to driving alongside Eve when the roads were quiet. She enjoyed watching her weave in and out of the traffic, falling back. She was the mouse leading the cat astray while Eve was trying to remain focused. Eve finally located the woodland area and signalled to Villanelle using her hands instead of the indicator on the car. Villanelle hung back and followed Eve as she drove off the main path and into the woodlands of the hill. 

It was awfully bumpy and the car lurched as Eve drove over foliage across the ground. She worried about Villanelle as biking must be complicated in unstable places, a knock or scrape could send her off the bike. She was still following Eve slowly through the woodlands until they came to a more open spot on the middle of the hill. Eve stopped the car and stepped out, waiting for Villanelle.

“You okay? This okay?” Eve asked as Villanelle took her helmet off and pulled out her ponytail to readjust it. She watched, leaning back on the bonnet of the car as Villanelle parked up the bike and came over to the car. She opened the car up, took out the other helmet and the pump for the petrol. Villanelle noticed the shot panda from the funfair and ran her fingers over its fur.

“I will be sad to see this one go. He was hard to win.” She stuck her fingers through the hole and began to pull out some of the stuffing. Eve wondered if she intended to keep it as a souvenir. Her fingers automatically went to the necklace she was wearing and she traced the pattern on it before holding it up to Villanelle.

  
“Well, we still have these. And I saved the smaller bears for us to take.”

“We never named them.”

“We can do that tonight, then. Have you ever emptied a fuel tank?” Eve was on her knees now, gloves on, a youtube video pulled up on her phone and fiddling with the backseat of the car. She pulled it up to expose the tank’s opening and was trying to knock the top off, struggling to keep up with the video. She beckoned Villanelle over. Villanelle took her jacket and put it over Eve.

“I really don’t want you ruining your dress. Do you have anything you could kneel on?”

“I don’t.” The branches were prickly underneath Eve’s knees but she moved her dress out of the way to avoid the dirt. She laughed at Villanelle’s priorities, more interested in saving the dress and Eve’s knees. Eve was enjoying the dirty work, however. It gave her a chance to learn something and she never liked to sit around. She passed the phone to Villanelle.

“Could you hold this? I need to be able to go back to different points.”

It took some time, a few comments from Villanelle -  _ I hoped you’d be on your knees in a different way  _ \- and a lot of strength, but Eve had finally filtered out the petrol from the car and into the container. She tried to get up and wobbled but Villanelle moved quickly and caught her arm.

“God, my legs are dead. Still worried about the dress?”

“Yes. It needs to look cute for our beach date, or our date with Belgian chocolate.”

“I’ll probably just drop chocolate down it. So what do we do now?”

“I would suggest taking out the windows. They will blow out and could damage us if we’re not away in time.” Villanelle suggested. Eve looked at the windows. She had broken the window of a bus station before with her fist but the idea of driving her hand through each window of the car did not appeal.

“How?” Eve asked, but Villanelle was walking off towards the trees. Eve followed slowly, not wanting to leave their stuff too unguarded. Villanelle came back with two large branches and handed one out to Eve. She was thankful she was still wearing the gloves as it was sharp and would have hurt her skin otherwise.

“What do you mean how? Do you not remember smashing my apartment to pieces?”

“Do you have an entire file on everything I have done ever in that brain of yours?” Eve quipped, joking about. Villanelle’s face was deadpan.

“Yes.”

Eve wondered why she had bothered to ask.

“You can go first. Take the back window.” Villanelle told Eve. Eve walked over to the back window, already cracked from the first bullet two days ago. Eve admired the window, surprised it had not already buckled from the pressure of the gaping hole in the middle of it. She lifted the stick and stood there with it in her hands for a moment. She stopped.

“What if the glass goes in our eyes?”

Villanelle put the helmet over Eve’s face and clipped it, stepping away to lean against a tree. Still, Eve did not move. She was having another moment, that  _ this was not normal, this was dramatic and weird and unnecessary and they just needed to leave and go back to the hotel and pretend this was not happening and just go back to finding a beach town to relax or maybe she should just go home and- _

“Pretend that it’s Raymond!” Villanelle shouted. Eve’s shoulders twitched. The comparison jerked her back to Rome and the body lying on the floor with Villanelle’s arms around her. In that situation, she had just wanted to go home, too. But she had done it to protect Villanelle. Just like this. All of this was to protect Villanelle. She lifted the branch and drove it into the window, smashing it entirely. The pieces scattered everywhere, she moved back and lifted the visor. Villanelle was behind her, arms around her waist, just like before. What was she trying to do?

Eve laughed hysterically. This was just smashing up a car, there was no corpse in sight, no life lost - apart from theirs if they messed this up - but she felt the same exhilarating thrill that she did in everything to do with Villanelle. The impulsive feeling she had when she shattered the window of the bus stop, when she smashed Villanelle’s apartment to pieces, the brawl with Villanelle on the bus. This time, though, she liked it. She embraced it.

“One hit was that fun?” Villanelle asked her. Eve took off one of her gloves and passed it to Villanelle.

“Come on! Get the other helmet, you take the left side, I’ll do the right.”

They were like children knocking down lego. The windows only needed a hit each, but the both of them were striking the car anyway, comparing hits, it was almost as if they were dancing as they smashed the windows, the mirrors, the radio. Eve’s dress twisted around her legs, flaring out behind her as she skipped around the car, tearing it to pieces. She had forgotten Villanelle was there, only realising when she stopped to get her breath back, hearing Villanelle’s small grunts as she broke a mirror. They tore into the seats with the branches and both pulled away when they realised the only thing left was the windscreen. Eve noticed that she was the only one still breaking into the car and that Villanelle had taken off her helmet and was watching Eve from the other side of the car. She lifted up the visor of the helmet again so that Villanelle could see her face. She was sweating a little, stray hairs of her ponytail sticking to her cheeks. Her chest was heaving with exhilaration. Eve studied Villanelle’s face. Her cheeks were pink, mouth pulled into a small smile, eyes focused on Eve. She felt shy, all of a sudden. Her gaze dropped to the last window.

“Wanna do it together?” Eve asked Villanelle. Villanelle raised an eyebrow.

“Now that is a proposition.”

“You know what I mean.” Eve put her hand on her hip. Villanelle grinned.

“Sure.” Villanelle picked up her branch and put the helmet back on. Eve stood on one side of the car, Villanelle on the other. They counted down from three and smashed the window at the same time. Once the glass had settled, Eve took off her helmet. Villanelle did the same and went over to her. Eve was still laughing, trying to catch her breath. She had sat down on the root of a tree sticking out from the ground, looking up at the car.

“Oh God, I feel like a child. It’s good nobody came by, we would have looked mad. Weirdly enjoyed it. Probably a bit too much”

“Definitely suspicious. Can I do the petrol?” Villanelle asked. Eve nodded, returning Villanelle’s jacket so she could cover herself up.

“Are you taking the fun away from me?”

“No, but this stuff is dangerous and you have more skin showing than me. We can’t-”

“We can’t ruin the dress.” Eve imitated a Russian accent, poorly.

“So annoying, Eve.” 

“Villanelle?”

“Yes?”

Eve was holding out the bloodstained note that was attached to the pitchfork. Villanelle took it from Eve.

“I don’t need it anymore. The mystery is solved.”

“Wanna throw the wedding rings in there for good measure?” Villanelle asked. Eve shook her head.

“No. We can pawn those if necessary. The extra money might be helpful.”

Villanelle returned to the car and picked up the container. She was dousing the car in petrol while Eve watched, her head in her hands, looking almost dreamy. She watched Villanelle move around the car and noticed how unlike her she was. Eve had been light, airy, skipping around the chaos she was creating. Villanelle charged towards it, unforgiving and direct. She looked strong, powerful, determined. She had wanted to get this done as quickly as possible, Eve had drawn it out with dramatic plays and excessive destruction. She was the one showing off now, Villanelle was precise and to the point. It was only when Villanelle was heading closer to her, she realised she had zoned out while gazing at her. Villanelle offered her hand to Eve which she took to pull herself up.

“You looked happy. What were you thinking about?”

_ You. _

“Yeah, I guess I am. It’s nice to be outside.”

“We have a plan now, I suppose that must have calmed you down a bit.”   
  
Yes, it had. Both plans had calmed Eve down, moving out of the UK, surprising Villanelle with a treat that had her feelings towards her stamped over it. Villanelle was only aware of one, which added to the thrill of it for Eve. She could sense that Villanelle was a bit suspicious of her but she relished the curious glances and confused expressions. It just made her smile even wider.

“Do you have a lighter? From when you smoked?”

She had not smoked since she picked up Villanelle. She had traded her vice for another, now. Eve grabbed her handbag and pulled out the cheap, plastic lighter. She held it out and lit it to show that it worked. A gentle breeze took the flame and brushed it onto Eve’s finger and she dropped the lighter.

“Ow. Shit.” She shook her hand as if she was trying to shake the pain off.

“You ruined the moment.” Villanelle took her hand and pressed a soft kiss to her thumb before dropping to the floor to pick up the lighter. She used it to light one of the branches and pushed Eve back and behind her with her free hand. Villanelle threw the branch, it hit the car and the flames ran along the trail of petrol in seconds.

Eve watched the car as it burned, reaching for Villanelle’s hand. Their fingers touched for a second before Villanelle pushed a helmet into Eve’s arms. Eve looked up at her, confused. She was enjoying the moment.

“We need to leave, now. Before it draws attention.”

Eve nodded and clipped on the helmet. She knew when to challenge Villanelle and when Villanelle was being serious. She wanted out of there, quickly with little tolerance to Eve living out an adrenalin-filled pipe dream. Eve grabbed her bag, attached it to her and watched Villanelle climb on the motorbike, pulling herself on the chair after Villanelle had adjusted. She took off quickly and Eve jerked forward, grasping onto Villanelle’s shoulders, hard. The grip did not loosen for the entire trip. As they pulled away, Eve watched the car burn.

Villanelle continued up the hill. Eve continued to watch behind them as the smoke filled the air. She could see the little dots of people begin to notice it and approach the car and after ten minutes, she could hear sirens. They were well away from the area now, at the top of the hill. They just needed to go back down the other side. She expected Villanelle to be weaving in and out of traffic or speeding down the hill, but she was slow and steady. She barely even wavered, maintaining an almost perfect straight line.

They were meeting in the middle but dangerously close to sailing in the opposite directions. Villanelle had listened to Eve’s cries for safety and was obliging, of course there was still the occasional bit of banter or mischief, but for the most part, she seemed focused on keeping Eve safe and moving on throughout the day. Eve, delirious with the realisation of her love, was living out the chaotic fantasy she assumed Villanelle wanted. Yes, she was having fun, but she had let go of her cautious nature to try and meet Villanelle just as she had caught Eve’s cautious ways.

Still, this was what she wanted. Even before she knew of Villanelle. When she took the job at MI6, she expected car chases, pursuits, running from the law, flirting with it and danger, chaos, drama, the lot. Instead she ended up with a desk job for three years and a husband who only offered plain food and plain sex. Villanelle was the bonus she did not expect, the bonus she was afraid of. Eve thought back to Bill asking about her sexuality. His detection was spot on. Her love of female assassins may have been a bit of lust, envy, self-projection and fascination. She had wanted to tear one down to find out what was inside, but when she realised what was inside matched her own core, she ran. She bolted back to the safety of the husband she only married to make her look moral, normal.

_ You were easily pushed back when you realised that you were the only one who could make her happy, though. _

Eve was. Those were the defining words that started this road trip. She watched the main road get closer as Villanelle was nearing the city centre and slipped her hands down to her waist to hold on when Villanelle reached a red light. She felt Villanelle’s chest go still for a moment before breathing again. It was only another ten minutes until their destination. They parked in a backstreet car park and chose to sit in a Starbucks along the high street to plan out their next move. Helmets in one arm, each other’s arm in their other.

They had found a secluded sofa in the back of the cafe, Eve had ordered a lemonade and an almond butter slice, Villanelle had gone for a caramel frappe and ate some of Eve’s cake. Eve was looking up the town of Canterbury. She had passed through but had never stopped, although it was fairly easy to navigate. Villanelle was leaning against her, chewing on the straw of her drink as Eve rambled on about their plans for the evening.

“I think I’ve found a hotel here, there’s a Premier Inn up the road we can go to. We can always stop off somewhere and find takeaway to take to the hotel. We can get our train to Brussels on Tuesday.”

“Why not tomorrow?”

_ Because I want to teach you how to dance for my own self-serving desires for you. _

“Trains are busy on a Monday. I think it’ll be nice if we stay here.”

“They will find the car eventually, Eve. They may track us here.” Villanelle whispered against Eve’s ear. She was smoothing down Eve’s escaped hair behind her ear. Eve turned her head to face Villanelle.

“They will assume we’ve gone to Dover and jumped the ferry to Calais. We’ll be fine. Just one more day here. Please.”

“Okay, but we need to be ready to run.”

“I’ll make sure to wear sensible shoes.” Eve leaned against Villanelle’s shoulder.

“You’re very emotional today. Happy.” Villanelle pointed out. Eve moved off, worrying that she was overstepping Villanelle’s boundaries.   
  


“Am I?” She stuttered a little.

  
“It’s nice. It makes you look beautiful. Maybe it’s the ponytail.” Villanelle ran the ponytail through her hands, combing through the tangles with her fingers. Eve pressed her hand to her mouth to hide her embarrassed smile. Villanelle usually called her cute, which annoyed her because it was infantilizing. This time, she had called her beautiful and it made her chest tight and legs wobbly.

“Do you like it more than the hair down?”

“I have a soft spot for it but I think I prefer the hair down.” Villanelle snapped the hairband so that Eve’s hair cascaded down her shoulders and hung on her back. Eve took another forkful of her cake, ate half and then held out the leftover to Villanelle, who took the fork and began digging in.

“You know I’m running out of hair bands. Those things don’t regenerate. You could always ask when you want my hair down?”

“I always want your hair down.”

Okay, maybe Villanelle had not gone entirely serious.

They checked into their hotel and were able to get a double bed, this time, much to Villanelle’s irritation. It was only when they got up to their room did they realise a glaring mistake.

“We left the fucking bags.” Eve said, and fell onto the bed with her head in her hand. Villanelle sat down beside her and patted her head.

“One of us has to go back in a taxi and get them.” Eve continued. She got back up, picked up her bag and called a taxi back to Whitstable.

“You can sort out the takeaway.”

Bag retrieval was not a problem, it just took time. It was close to nine in the evening when Eve got back from Whistable, bags in arms. She came back to Villanelle eating another breakfast wrap and a selection of takeout bags scattered on the floor. Villanelle was watching television. It was more reruns of Strictly Come Dancing.

“I found a really cool cafe, everything was egg themed. Naughty Egg. The food is pretty good too, they had burgers and cheese fries and wraps.”

Eve threw the bags down and dived for the takeaway containers. She was starving. The food was divine, she thought of Carolyn and her disdain for eggs as she enjoyed a burger with a sunny side up egg on the top and loaded chips. They ate in a comfortable silence, watched television, fought over the programs to watch, bathed separately and ended the night at close to one in the morning. Eve was pushed against the wall, Villanelle was wrapped around her. They were both still awake.

"I saw some really cute boutiques as well. We should go shopping and then go out to eat or something. We could even go clubbing!"

“Clubbing on a Monday? This is Kent, you know that, right?”

“There’s also four universities here. There will be clubbing on a Monday,”

“In the middle of summer?”

“Okay, maybe no clubbing.”

“I have something planned for us tomorrow, anyway. Don’t go making other plans.”

Villanelle sat up and started bouncing around on the bed, shaking Eve.

“What is it? What is it?”

“A surprise.”

Villanelle sat back on her knees and threw herself down on the bed, further away from Eve. Eve bit her lip to suppress a giggle.

“I don’t like surprises.” She sulked. Eve definitely derived satisfaction from it. She moved a little closer to Villanelle and put an arm around her, spooning her. Usually it was the other way around, but being a big spoon was quite nice.

“You’ll like this one. I hope. I planned it for you.” She spoke the words into Villanelle’s back. She was wearing Eve’s cardigan again.

“You’ve been very cuddly today. Is there something you’re trying to tell me?”

The words ‘I love you’ choked in Eve’s throat. If tomorrow had not been planned, paid for and daydreamed repeatedly in Eve’s mind, she would have said them. She was ready to accept Villanelle’s reaction - as long as it was not a full rejection, hopefully. Eve just could not let go of the images of them slow dancing to a playlist picked out by her, a conversation, finally without arguing and a gentle display of affection.

So she let some different words escape, instead.

“Go to sleep, Villanelle. You’ll find out tomorrow.”


	13. So, what do you think?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve and Villanelle hit the town for some new clothes to prepare for Belgium. Villanelle is suspicious and Eve is anxious as she prepares her grand gesture of love for Villanelle.

Eve woke with her face pressed against the wall and Villanelle’s body mostly on top of her. She tried to move but Villanelle’s limbs kept her in place, it was impossible to move without waking her up. She angled her head to peer over Villanelle, saw that at least half the bed was unoccupied and lamented the extra fifty-pounds they had spent on a double room. It was sticky and warm, however, so she flipped an arm out to push Villanelle to the middle of the bed. She groaned, loudly and pushed back.

“Eve! I was comfortable.” Villanelle turned over and took the duvet with her. Eve sat up and reached over Villanelle to the table by the bed for a hairband to put her hair in a loose bun. It was too uncomfortable and hot and Eve’s hair had gone frizzy. Villanelle had turned over and was watching her. She pouted and flicked a loose curl that Eve had missed.

“I probably looked like a lion. It needs to stay up.” Eve pushed herself off the bed and started to clean up the old takeaway boxes from last night. Although between the both of them, they had finished everything, the residue was starting to smell and Eve knew that the room was going to end up a mess, if the Elton John makeover was to go by. She was pacing as she cleaned, almost bouncing around. Her stomach was twisting with a mix of excitement and anxiety, today was the day of her wild plans to show Villanelle how much she loved her and the doubt was beginning to sink in.

She wondered if it was too much, whether it would put Villanelle off. She may have been content with emulating the show in the hotel room instead, and the daydreams of fancy dresses and big ballrooms too much. Villanelle hid it, but Eve could see her anxiousness behind her jokes. Maybe she should have listened to Villanelle and the pair of them should have scarpered from the area; she was the assassin and had experience with being chased and tracked, and also doing the tracking.

Whatever. It was too late now. It was all booked and they needed to keep an eye on their funds now. Might as well enjoy their last treat while they could.

Villanelle had gotten up and helped Eve with the cleanup. They kept everything they needed packed and by the door if they needed to get away quickly, their bags and motorcycle helmets sat next to each other’s like their toothbrushes. It was not dissimilar to the couples who shared ‘his and hers’ mugs (although in this case, there was no ‘his). They had gotten ready for the day, although Eve was on her last couple of pairs of clean underwear and she was running out of clothes, fast.

“All my clothes are worn now apart from these. We should probably find a laundrette. Or just some detergent and I can do them in the bathroom sink.” Eve put on the clothes she had, just a plain striped shirt and black fitted trousers. She looked in the mirror and could only compare herself to a cartoon burglar. Villanelle burst out laughing.

“You look like a burglar.”

“Shut up. We’ll take these to a laundrette and get some more clothes from the charity shops or Primark.”

Eve looked over at Villanelle. She was wearing a light blue chiffon blouse and denim shorts and looked effortlessly beautiful. Eve turned away, the nervousness beginning to set in, silly, teenage feelings of feeling out of Villanelle’s league beginning to settle into her mind. The rational part was screaming at her:  _ no, don’t listen, you have her love already! _ A pair of hands on her shoulders pulled her down to reality.

“You seem different today. Like a cat. What’s wrong?”

“No, just…”   


“I’m nervous too. But we will be safe soon. We just have to enjoy today. I want to see what you have planned for me.”

Eve and Villanelle found a laundrette in the backstreets near their hotel. A bored teenager girl barely looked up from her book when the two of them came in. There was only one other person there and he was folding up some bedsheets. He smiled at them and Eve waved her hand back at him as Villanelle took the bag. She tipped out the laundry onto a chair and began sorting them into colours.

“Do you really have to get our pants out in public?” Eve asked, mixing up the laundry piles to conceal their intimates.

“Why? She probably has the same ones. His wife probably has the same ones, or maybe him too, if that’s what he’s into. It’s just underwear.” Villanelle had gestured towards the girl who did not break focus on her book and the man who just raised an eyebrow and went back to folding his sheets. Eve mouthed a guilty ‘sorry’ to him and he nodded.

They sorted out the washing in silence but left the laundrette hand-in-hand.

“So, where are we going then?” Villanelle asked as they walked down the high street. It was not as busy as it was on Sunday, more people at work, less people shopping. Villanelle had insisted on stopping for another frappe, and Eve had joined her. It was too sweet for her but gave her something to hold, something to distract her.

“Well, I was thinking we could just browse some shops. Pick up some basics and something nice for tonight.” Eve scooped some of the cream out of her drink using the spoon-end of the straw. She felt something cold on her nose. Villanelle flicked her nose to get the cream off and then pressed her finger against Eve’s mouth. She looked at Villanelle with a confused frown.

“The cream is the best bit. I wouldn’t want you to miss out. You look cute when you frown, your nose goes all wrinkly between your eyes.”

“Thank you. I’m sure there’s a compliment in there somewhere.” Usually a move like that would make Eve a little embarrassed but she would recover quickly. Today, it made Eve’s heart thud and her fingers tremble a little.

“So, do I get a hint about what we’re doing tonight?”

“No. Enjoy the surprise.”

“Does it involve champagne and hot women?” Villanelle raised her eyebrows with a suggestive grin.

“Maybe the first.”

“I thought I was spending the evening with you though?”

“Villanelle.” Eve walked ahead of her. She knew what Villanelle was implying and as much as she wanted to accept the compliment, she could not. Not yet, anyway.

  
“Why are you not confident in yourself, Eve?” Villanelle asked. Eve stopped in place while Villanelle walked up to her and took her hand again. Eve did not really know how to answer. Niko had always called her beautiful, even when she was in an old, hole-ridden shirt shoving in ice cream after a bad day, Villanelle always showered her with compliments and she had managed to seduce a much younger man in the past. Eve rarely had trouble with getting conquests. She had just gotten too comfortable in recent years and was now navigating a new relationship for the first time in over a decade.

A relationship with a woman she had hunted down for close to a year now, a woman who she had, until recently, assumed to be a dangerous, seductive assassin. Although now, she knew her to be caring, emotional, somewhat flippant and rude, but desperate for an emotional connection in some way. One that Eve had pushed away in the beginning.

“Hey. Hey. Hey!” Villanelle was clicking around her face. Eve blinked, hard and looked around. She had dropped her drink in her stupor and people were beginning to look. She shook her head and leaned down to pick up her cup to put it in the bin.

“What is up with you today, Eve? I’m serious. You’re really weird.” Villanelle had also kneeled down and grasped Eve’s wrist.

Eve avoided Villanelle’s gaze and looked around at the shops. She noticed the familiar red cross sign somewhere in the distance and gestured towards it with her free hand.

“Look, there’s a shop there. Why don’t we go and have a look? They might have something nice for tonight.”   
  
Villanelle picked up Eve’s cup and watched her get up from the ground. She remained silent but eyed Eve with suspicion. As they walked, a gap between them now, Villanelle stopped only to put the cups in a bin. Eve was walking slightly ahead of Villanelle, breathing faster and weaving in and out of people to get to the store, while Villanelle was continuing her comfortable stroll, eyes fixed on Eve.

Eve knew she was damaging their relationship again by avoiding her. Villanelle’s attempt to build up her confidence had actually knocked it a little more and added yet another reason to Eve’s fictional list of why they would not work. She had little confidence in herself when it was not work related.

Still, the rest of her argued.  _ It’s not like you’re ever going to get anyone else, you’ve chosen her and you cannot back out of it now. _

Eve stopped at the door of the shop to let Villanelle catch up. She opened the door and let Villanelle step in first. This was Villanelle’s territory so Eve hung back while she began sorting through the rails, clearing them quickly. She picked out a few items and held them up to herself in the mirror, but caught Eve just dawdling by the door in the mirror. She dropped the items onto a chair, earned a scornful look from the elderly couple who were volunteering, and pulled Eve over to her.

“You need to find some stuff, too. Come on.” Eve followed her as Villanelle would pull things out of the rails and push them up against Eve. Some of them were very over the top, or low cut dresses and Eve would protest, although she let one or two slip into the basket, but Villanelle would also pick things that were almost Eve, just a little more glamorous. Airy chiffon blouses, trousers that were slim-fit instead of loose and a dress or two. Most items were only a few pounds each, so Eve did not worry about the money too much.

As Villanelle was sorting through her pile of clothes: bright colours, oversized tailoring and a couple of awful floral things, Eve began to have a look for herself. Her eyes caught a red dress in the formalwear rack and she pulled it out, just out of curiosity. The fabric was light and flowing, fitted in the waist but flared out to her feet. It had a halter neck but was then cut down most of the dress. She put it up against her. It was nice, until Villanelle grabbed it from her hands.

“Wow, you have a good eye, Eve.”

“Yes.  _ I  _ quite liked it  _ for me. _ ” She feigned being upset, but she knew something like this would look better on Villanelle. She would have quite liked her to wear one of her suits for this evening, though. She always thought they were hot. 

Eve sighed and went back to the rails to find something else. A couple of rails away, she spotted another flash of red. She gravitated towards it and pulled out an almost identical dress, although this one only had one strap going down the middle of the dress. It was nice, but she preferred the other dress. If Villanelle wanted to wear it though, fine. She would be happy with this one. Her anxious little voice was back. Was twinning too cliche? Too romantic?

“Hey look, we can match.” Eve said, holding the other dress up to Villanelle. Villanelle played with the neckline and pulled it out of her hands.

“Maybe I could have both.” Villanelle suggested. Eve grabbed at one of the dresses, the closest one she could grab.

Villanelle unpicked her hand from the dress and held them both up, pretending to decide. She moved each one in front of her as Eve protested.

  
“You can’t have both, I want one. You can borrow it after tonight.” Eve went for another dress but Villanelle stopped her again by switching both dresses into her left hand but grabbing Eve’s face in the right. She held her there for a moment, Eve glaring daggers at Villanelle, the elderly couple glaring daggers at them both. She let Eve go and pushed the low-cut halter dress into Eve.

“I’ll take this one. I think the other dress will show off your chest better and give me something to look at.”

“Arsehole.”

Eve tried her dress on, Villanelle was in a separate changing room. She looked at herself in the mirror with it on. It needed a bit of adjustment in the chest, but Eve had to even admit to herself that she looked good. The dress skimmed the floor, covering her legs and feet, but just short enough so she would not trip, making it easy for comfortable shoes. It accentuated her chest, too, and she thought about how it would give Villanelle something to look at, and how she wanted Villanelle to look. She spun around in it and the dress flared out, touching the walls of the changing room. It would look beautiful for dancing in the Ballroom. It was a shame pictures were not a good idea, otherwise it would make for nice memories.

She heard the curtain of the other room draw and then watched as Villanelle pulled back the curtain of her changing room. Eve prepared the sassy comment, remarking that she could have still been naked, but the words caught in her throat as she was faced with Villanelle in her red dress. It felt intimate, like the two of them were seeing each other before their wedding day. Villanelle had picked the right dress.

It was longer, so matched Villanelle’s slightly taller height. It sat well on her body and was not unlike Eve’s dress, flaring out at the waist and flaring out whenever air was caught in it. It was looser at the chest though, with puffy sleeves that looked elegant on Villanelle, but would look childish on her. She really did suit it, she was stunning. She wanted to find the right compliment, but all she could do was stare.

Villanelle was looking at her with appreciation, too. She watched her eyes go from her legs to her hips and stop at her chest, before coming up to her face. She smiled at Eve, who probably had a bashful expression on her face.

“Wow. I was right. They look amazing.”

“Villanelle.” It was harsh, but Eve felt complimented.

“You look beautiful.” Villanelle said. Eve returned her smile.

“Thank you. You too.” She paused. They had not even checked the price tags.

“How much even are these?” She spun around, looking for a tag. Surely there was one but she could not feel the familiar dig of cardboard in her back. The elderly lady looked up at them.

“I’ll do eighty for the pair.”

It was a good deal. Eve paid for the dresses and the pair of them left the store. The two shop clerks looked somewhat irritated. It was only when they were outside that Eve realised they had only bought the dresses, and not the other stuff they picked out.

“We forgot to buy the other stuff.” Villanelle said, looking dejected. They had picked up some sandwiches and were eating them on the way back to the hotel. Villanelle was sulking, she did really like buying new clothes, but Eve was not too bothered. It saved them money and after buying the new dresses, Eve was completely focused on this evening. It was around one-thirty in the afternoon now, so around five hours until she told Villanelle her feelings.

“It’s fine. Less stuff to carry.”

“We didn’t get shoes either.”

“We can wear what we have.”

“Chelsea boots and white high tops? I don’t think it matches nicely.”

“You said we needed to be ready to run.”

“Fine. So, what are we doing tonight?”

“I won’t be fooled that easily, Villanelle.”

  
  
Villanelle sulked all the way back to the laundrette. Eve had to fight the urge to laugh at her, to kiss her, to divulge her feelings prematurely.

Once they were back at the hotel, Eve changed into her dress while Villanelle lounged on the bed, doing little else but watching Eve get ready. She kept her hair up for now and packed a red lipstick in her handbag. Villanelle had already seen her in her dress, which felt a little wrong, but she wanted there to be some surprise to her appearance. Eve had opted to travel to the venue earlier than Villanelle to set up the music, sort out the drinks and to give her a few moments alone to organise her thoughts. Throughout this trip there were only small periods of time where the two of them were without each other, and while Eve was always looking for Villanelle, this was a time where she needed just a few minutes to breathe. She had packed a little notebook too, she needed to rehearse exactly what she wanted to say to Villanelle. 

Everything needed to be perfect, for her, for Villanelle. Eve had a very specific message she wanted to get to Villanelle which could be explained with three words, but Eve did not know if that would truly get across the way she felt. She sighed as she caught herself in the mirror. She did feel overdressed and a small voice was telling her she was being too over dramatic. Konstantin had told her to make memories, though, and this was her attempt at doing so.

_ You are treating it a bit like it’s your wedding, though. _

Eve shook the patronising thought from her mind and scribbled the address, the number for a taxi and a time onto a piece of paper from her notebook. She screwed it up and threw it at Villanelle as she made for the exit. Villanelle dived for it, almost fell off the bed and clutched it once she had gotten ahold of it, studying every single part of the scrawled address. Eve felt flattered, in a way. She relished in Villanelle’s excitement, in some ways she wanted to scoop her up into her arms now and kiss her, to tell her that everything would be alright. No, she told herself. She must wait, she must treasure the moment.

“Get here at seven, okay? No sooner, not much later. Please.” Eve asked Villanelle as she was putting the last of her necessities into her bag as she scooped up a jumper to put on over the top of the dress, for the walk. Villanelle was watching her intently with another one of her seductive grins on her face. Eve almost buckled at the sight.

“I can’t wait to see what you have in store for me. It better be worth it.”

“Well, I think it is.” Eve summoned up her last bit of courage to persuade Villanelle. She took the hotel keys out of her bag, placed them on the table and walked out of the hotel door.

Walking down the high street towards the ballroom was taxing. Between battling her dress, feeling self-conscious because people were staring at her (being so dressed up on a Monday) and the growing anxieties of the evening, it was a stressful walk. Eve remained focused as she marched down the highstreet, towards the ballroom, with her dress swirling around her from the wind. This was it, this was her deciding on her feelings. She was just anxious that Villanelle would not return them beyond a friendship or a relationship of mutual manipulation, although now, realistically, this was an unfounded thought.

It was a twenty minute walk before Eve reached the ballroom. She nodded at the receptionist there and confirmed a few details: name, booking date, other administrative necessities. The receptionist looked her up and down and smiled at her, although Eve interpreted it as mocking. She probably came off as a rich woman acting on a whim, and she was only half wrong. The manager came over and asked if she needed a bartender and she accepted. A few glasses of gin always made this sort of stuff slip down and slip out easier. They led her into the ballroom and left her alone while they went to fetch someone to tend the bar. 

Eve took a moment to walk around the ballroom. She really wished she had a pair of heels on, while they were not really her thing, the echo of her and Villanelle’s footsteps while they danced would add to the magic, in her mind. She always pictured some dainty heels for her, but Villanelle was usually in a suit. Eve’s hand grazed one of the black plush walls of the ballroom as she looked up at the looming chandelier that twinkled with dim light. She looked over to the bar to where there was a small seating area with sofas and closed her eyes, picturing the two of them there, sharing drinks, laughing with each other. A hand over the other’s shoulders, another resting on a thigh. Everything seemed so luxurious, soft and high class and Eve was dazed by the elegance and beauty of it. Not unlike the Villanelle that she loved.

_ Villanelle that she loved. _

She heard some footsteps and gentle chatter and her body jerked. Eve listened into the voices, definitely a man and a woman’s, but none had the familiar Russian twang that she was fond of. She let go of the breath she was holding and checked her phone. She still had some time before Villanelle was due to arrive, although Eve was expecting her impatience to consume her by now. She wondered if Villanelle would turn up too early, or much too late, or whether she would leave and find Villanelle curled up at the hotel, watching television. Her mind began to head to thoughts worse than that but she stopped it. Villanelle had made it clear she would not leave.

_ Why are you not confident in yourself, Eve? _ She dwelled on Villanelle’s words. Maybe she was just waiting for Eve to find her confidence. She definitely could fake it for tonight, at least.

The bartender greeted Eve with a handshake. Eve regarded him with a polite smile and admired his waistcoat. In some ways, she felt bad for him, it was going to be a boring shift. Clearly a university student, he was young and his shoes were scuffed. Eve hoped she could keep him away for most of the night and only bring him in for intervals. She did not fancy an audience, even if it was just a bored nineteen year old who only cared about getting paid.

“Would you like any drinks prepared, madam?” He asked. Eve was not a fan of being regarded as madam.

“Oh, don’t worry about formalities. Just a bottle of champagne and a couple of glasses to be prepared, please. And a double gin and tonic, please.”

“How many guests would you like me to prepare for?”

“Oh. There’s only me and one other guest.”

The young man walked over to the bar to conceal his surprised expression, but Eve had noticed. She tried to create polite small talk as she fiddled with the music system. She had made a small playlist through her phone and was adding in certain songs, but had also found a generic ‘vintage ballroom’ playlist to run in the background until Villanelle arrived. She turned down the music and let the ballroom jazz play.

“Your drink, madam.”

Eve walked over to the bar and took the drink, taking a large gulp through the straw. She surveyed the room once more as the bartender put out a tray with two glasses and opened a bottle of champagne. He went to pour it, but Eve stopped him.

“I can do that. Do you have any university work to do or anything? I won’t really need anyone for a while. I can call you when we need some other drinks, although maybe some water for the side.”

The bartender seemed to relax very quickly.

“Oh thank God, I have an essay due but nobody would take the shift. I can get a jug and I’ll be in the back.” He filled a jug with water and tucked it next to the wall on the side of the bar with two glasses. He smiled at Eve.

“So is it a proposal or something?”

“Or something. We’re not quite at marriage level yet.”

“Well, hope it goes well.”

“Thanks. Good luck with your essay.”

The bartender nodded and walked into the back. Eve wandered over to a mirror to finish getting ready. She pulled her hair band out and slipped into her bag, fluffing out her curls and smoothing them down to hit her shoulders. She readjusted the cheap friendship necklace at her chest so that it was symmetrical and applied the red lipstick, touching up the rest of her makeup. She sighed and inspected her dress in the mirror.

Eve wondered if putting her hair up in a bun would make for easier dancing, but she knew that she would be signing the demise for her last and only hair tie. Villanelle always seemed to be driven slightly mad by her hair being down and she liked that it was a throwback to their first meeting. Villanelle’s constant compliments towards her hair was almost the full reason why Eve rarely wore her hair up anymore. She loved being on the receiving end of Villanelle’s praise.

She cleaned up the edges of her lipstick and her mind went to VIllanelle on her lips by the end of the night. Eve fought against the thoughts, she could not quite get her hopes up. She was not able to find the full amount of confidence she needed. Eve got her little notebook out and sat down with a pen to write a few notes to organise her mind. She felt a little silly though and threw the notebook back into her bag, walking over to the bar to finish her gin. Her racing mind stopped dead at the sound of footsteps and the sound of talking. This time, she heard two women talking, and one of the voices was the familiar and made her heart start pounding against her ribs.

  
  


Eve turned as the footsteps got louder. She could feel her hands go clammy already and was thankful she had put a little extra powder on her face. Any words she had prepared quickly dissolved and Eve just accepted the fact that she would be improvising her words to Villanelle. Definitely not a good idea, but it was all she had. She hoped Villanelle would find her tongue-tied mess endearing and cute. She would take being called cute now.

_ Love, you’ve been winging this entire trip. _ Eve frowned. She only liked the sass from her mind when it was aimed at other people. She poured the champagne into the glasses and gripped onto the tray. At least it gave her something to hold onto as a distraction because Villanelle’s footsteps were almost deafening. She looked up when she saw a shadow cast over the floor.

Villanelle was standing at the doorway with her eyes wide open, her mouth parted, taking in the sight in front of her. She was wearing the red dress with the white shoes and her hair was down and messy, red lipstick accentuating the lips Eve so desperately wanted to kiss. The light from the chandelier reflected off Villanelle’s chest and Eve was relieved to see her half of the necklace still there. Eve’s breath caught in the back of her throat. Villanelle looked stunning and Eve was overwhelmed with a desire to scoop her up and run away with her to safety, to protect her from everything. She pictured the same cottage with a vegetable patch and a little dog that she dreamt of with Niko but Villanelle was the one digging the earth in a pair of cute, well-loved dungarees.

Villanelle had not turned to look at her yet. She was still in the doorway, eyes darting from one part of the ballroom to the other. Eve put the tray down and took the two glasses of champagne off and took a tentative step towards Villanelle. That was when Villanelle’s glance moved to Eve. She looked suspicious, her eyes were blown wide but they were shining. Her chest heaved not unlike the way it did on the bus after Eve had kissed her. She was clinging to the doorframe. Eve managed a nervous smile, but inside it felt as if there was a knife cutting the inside of her up. She felt her eyes well up too. Her confidence had been zapped in milliseconds. Villanelle looked like a deer in the headlights and Eve instantly wondered if she had gone too far.

She held out the glass of champagne to Villanelle as she stood in the middle of the room. Eve needed Villanelle to step in through the door, to meet her in the middle, to accept her. She tried to steady her voice, but it came out high pitched, wavering, stuttered. Eve finished with a nervous laugh.

“So, what do you think?”


	14. I want to lead this one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ballroom continued: As Villanelle wanders around, stunned, Eve struggles to find the words to make Villanelle hers. The events of the evening have her debating if it was all a lie.

Villanelle had not said a word to Eve since she arrived. She had walked into the ballroom, past Eve and had been looking around the room for five or so minutes. To Eve, still standing there with her hand outstretched with Villanelle’s champagne, it seemed drastically longer. She set the glass down on the tray but kept hers between her fingers. She took a sip, eyes still on Villanelle, who was wandering around the room almost in beat to the slow-dance music Eve had selected as filler.

“So, are you going to say something?” Eve asked with a nervous laugh. She put her glass down, too and leaned against the bar to conceal her shaking hands. Her mind was a white noise of anxious thoughts and Eve focused only on Villanelle before she buckled under her own anxieties. Villanelle’s hand ran across the plush wall, like Eve had done not twenty minutes ago. She turned to face Eve and Eve bit down on her lip. Villanelle’s face was almost unreadable.

“Why?” That was all Villanelle asked. She was on the other side of the room now, with Eve still pressed against the bar. A light frown wrinkled her nose. An overwhelming thought dominated Eve’s mind.

_ You’ve fucked up. _

Eve laughed again, but the sound twisted into something that was indistinguishable from a sob. Villanelle tensed up and stepped forward to Eve.

“Well, you said you wanted to learn to dance.” Eve was looking at the door, now, away from Villanelle.

“I expected that we would dance together in the hotel room, or something. You actually hired a ballroom for me?” Villanelle was walking around again. She was staring up at the chandelier, spinning around to catch it from different angles. It looked like she was inspecting it as if to take it home as home decor. Her mouth dropped open again, she seemed in awe. There was little hint to happiness, however, at least to Eve, who was now stumbling over her words in an unintelligible string of jagged sounds. She stopped. She breathed and held onto the bar for support. Her chest hurt now and she put a hand to the necklace that hung down and graced the middle.

“Yes. I did. I thought it would be a nice memory of here before we left.”

“Why?”

Eve’s thoughts tumbled out of her mouth. If she could just get Villanelle to understand her thought process, maybe the night might be salvageable. Villanelle still had her back to Eve as she choked on her thoughts, her explanation to Villanelle.

“I just, I guess I thought it would have been nice. To dance with you and to just do something fun after these past couple of days which have been a total shitshow and really, really hard. It was nice, it was so nice to see you smile after the funfair and the shopping and that little bit between Elton before it all went to hell. I had so much fun and wanted to hold onto those moments. I wanted to put it all behind us and be open and honest and stop this weird little game that we have of trying to pressure the other into opening their hearts while keeping our own concealed. You mentioned love the other day and since then, that’s all I’ve been able to think about. The idea of love and you and maybe you loving me might actually be a thing and I’ve been so wrong but also how I’ve left my entire life just because I heard you were upset and wanted to make you happy and I guess a normal person wouldn’t do that unless they loved someone which probably is true but I’ve gone too far I guess and-”   
  


Villanelle spun around on her heel which stopped Eve’s word vomit in its tracks. Eve had her hands scrunched into her hair, pulling hard, her chest heaving. She could not remember anything she had just said, like she had zoned out and something else had taken over for her. What had she said? What had she just told Villanelle? She could feel the look of horrified panic appear on her face. She looked down at the floor, but all she could see were Villanelle’s footsteps coming closer. Eve closed her eyes, retreating into herself. It was only when she felt a pair of hands wrap around each of her wrists and thumbs brush over her hands that she looked up into a pair of kind eyes and a warm smile.

“Please don’t hurt your hair like that.” Eve let Villanelle guide her hands away from her hair and down, to the point where Villanelle was just holding Eve’s hands loosely between them. Eve’s eyes followed her hands as Villanelle led them. Villanelle leant her face closer to Eve.

“That was a lot of words in not a lot of time, Eve. Maybe we should slow it down a bit.” Villanelle suggested, softly giggling. Eve nodded. It appeared she had used up her energy to talk on the clunky, confused speech.

“So you did all this because you thought it would make me happy?”

“Yes.”

“And you heard that I was sad, so you planned an entire road trip to make me happy.”

“Yes.”

“And after you made me happy, you realised that you’d given up everything to do that.”

“Yes.”

“And then when realising that normal people don’t give up their entire lives just to make a psychopath happy, you thought that maybe you loved me.”

“You’re not a psychopath.” Eve was offended on Villanelle’s behalf. Villanelle just laughed at her.

“That doesn’t answer the statement.”

“Yes, then.”

“You then decided to hire an entire ballroom to tell me that you loved me?”

“Yes.”

“So we’re at the bit where you tell me those words, then.” 

Eve nodded. The words she needed were jammed in a lump in her throat and she swallowed, eyes still fixed on Villanelle. She watched Villanelle’s face, noticed the hopeful, warm eyes and wavering, wide smile that exposed a dimple on her left cheek. On her face was acceptance, and it made the words easily slip out after all. It was only a whisper, but they were there.

“I love you…”

Eve felt a burn rise on her face and she went to look down, but her hands were dropped and Villanelle’s were on her cheeks as if to support her, keeping her face stable, steady and level with Villanelle. She wanted to cry, for some bizarre reason she could not fathom. Eve leaned her head into Villanelle’s palm. These actions occurred over a matter of seconds, but again, time to Eve was travelling at a snail’s pace. She felt every millisecond between Villanelle’s reactions. Eve moved one of her hands up to cover the hand that she leaned into and closed her eyes. It was her little message to Villanelle:  _ I’ve done what you’ve asked and I’m not letting you go. _

The silence was unbearable. Eve let her eyes flutter open, ready to question Villanelle. She had said what Villanelle had wanted, with some coaxing. She had admitted her feelings. Obviously she was not expecting to be scooped up and spun around but she deserved something. She began to move her hand until she noticed Villanelle’s face was damp. She was chewing on her shaking lip and her eyes were squeezed shut. Had she really misjudged the situation that badly?

“Villanelle...what…”

“I’ve just never had someone hire out an entire ballroom just to tell me something that’s so obvious.” Villanelle laughed and hiccuped. She glanced away to take a shaky breath.

“Villanelle.” Eve put on a faux-angry tone, but she knew Villanelle was just making a joke to ease the tension between the both of them. It made her wonder if Villanelle had been just as anxious as she was and maybe the surprise had been a bit insensitive. The pressure on them both relaxed as Villanelle dipped her hands to Eve’s waist to pull her against her chest. Eve put one hand on her shoulder and the other arm around her back, resting the side of her head against the other shoulder. They swayed softly, out of sync with the music.

“Was it too much? All of this…” Eve asked. She could feel Villanelle’s head shake against her.

“No. I’ve just never had someone care about me like this before. I’ve been waiting to hear you actually say it, but I kind of expected it to be spontaneous, like everything else has been. The fact that you actually planned it, was, yeah. Wow.”

“I’m surprised it worked. Everything else I’ve planned went out of the window very quickly.” Eve laughed. She heard Villanelle’s soft smirk in her ear.

“I would have taken anything to hear you tell me that. You didn’t need to.”

“I know, but you’re worth it.”

Villanelle pulled Eve away from her gently. She let go of Villanelle’s shoulders but moved her hands to be looped around her neck, relaxed. Villanelle’s smile was contagious and Eve felt herself emulating the wide grin plastered on her face.

“Thank you, Eve.”

Eve leaned up to kiss Villanelle. It was soft, comfortable, tender. She felt one of Villanelle’s hands move to her back while the other hand guided Eve a little closer to her so that their bodies were touching. It was instinctual to move to the music even though she was not sure what was playing anymore. All of it sounded the same; it was gentle forties jazz from a generic vintage playlist for tea dances. They slowly twirled as they kissed until the song ended and there were a few seconds of silence as the music faded into the next indistinguishable song.

Villanelle took one of Eve’s arms away from her neck and held her hand as if they were slow dancing. It was clumsy, awkward, they knocked into each other’s feet a few times but they continued moving around the floor, albeit a little bit clunky. Villanelle leaned into Eve again and they remained quiet, enjoying the company of each other. Once the song was over, they stilled. Eve had moved into Villanelle again during the dance and was leaning her chin on Villanelle’s shoulder.

“So. What now?”

Villanelle dipped Eve and leaned over her. Her lips grazed Eve’s neck with a soft trail of kisses.

“Maybe we should go back to the hotel. I can’t wait to have you.” Villanelle whispered and nibbled gently on Eve’s collarbone through her dress. Eve gasped in surprise and dug her nails into Villanelle’s shoulder, exposed by her dress. There would definitely be a small mark there. She thought of the bath a few days ago and the same overwhelming desire was beginning to build in her body. Villanelle could probably feel her shaking and she was giggling under her breath. The whole thing was very seductive, but no. Eve wanted to enjoy every second now, she wanted to draw out her time with Villanelle.

“Absolutely not. I wanted to teach you how to dance and we haven’t even touched the champagne yet.”

Villanelle pulled Eve up and let go of her. The pout on her face was hilarious to Eve. She took Villanelle’s hand and pulled her over to the bar and the two glasses of champagne. She handed the full one to Villanelle and took the sipped one for herself, tilting it towards Villanelle, preparing for a toast.

“What are we toasting for?” Villanelle asked Eve.

“I don’t know. Us?”

“Sure. I like that.”

They touched their glasses together and had a drink.

“This tastes like shit, Eve.” Villanelle was grimacing. Eve quite liked the taste. It was light and dry, but she could imagine Villanelle was used to champagne that was three figures or more in price.

“Oh dear, what a shame.” Eve was not sorry at all.

They had sat down for a while on the black sofas and just talked as the last of the tea dance playlist rolled out over the speakers. Villanelle had her arm over the back of the sofa where Eve sat and Eve had her legs rested on Villanelle’s. They talked about everything: Eve’s life before Niko and her parents’ strict expectations of her, Villanelle and her family, past relationships, time spent in prison. What they liked and did not like, what they hoped for in the future before any of this had ever happened. Also pointless things, like food they enjoyed or silly memories or celebrity crushes. They followed where the conversation flowed, laughing with each other or with soft touches to their faces, hands whenever the other became sad. Eve glanced down at her phone occasionally to keep an eye on the time. They had the room until eleven, and it was nine, now. Eve would be happier to go home a little earlier, but she had prepared a short playlist for the two of them to dance to.

Eve put her glass down, took Villanelle’s from her hands and stood up, offering her hand out to Villanelle, smiling at her. Villanelle took it cautiously and allowed herself to be pulled up by Eve. She followed Eve over to the music system as Eve skimmed through her playlist to find the specific song she had picked out. There were others, too, mainly for nostalgia - Strange Effect and Crocodile Rock were two to mention - but there was one song that she knew Villanelle had not heard, because she had picked it for Villanelle.

The first beats of Crocodile Rock played. Villanelle laughed and took Eve by the hips to spin her around and dip her again.

“If you wanted to kiss me, you could just ask.” Villanelle leaned in but Eve pressed a finger to Villanelle’s lips, holding her in place. 

“Not yet, maybe we can sing this one in the hotel room once we’ve finished the champagne. I picked out a song for you.” Eve wiggled out of Villanelle’s grasp and back over to the screen. She scrolled down and tapped on a song while Villanelle wandered back out to the middle of the floor, seemingly waiting for Eve to meet her. Eve hurried over in the few seconds they had before the song started and took Villanelle’s waist and hand.

“I want to lead this one. I want to at least be in charge of one thing in my own plans, at least.”

  
  
Villanelle nodded and placed one hand on Eve’s shoulder. Eve watched her close her eyes as Eve began to sway. 

_ We move, we move, in slow motion. _

Villanelle moved in to Eve, arms around her shoulders, Eve’s arms around her waist. They were a little out of sync with the song, but the both of them realised the dancing was not the important part. Neither of them had come to learn to dance, they had come to learn each other. There were a few times where Villanelle’s feet nudged Eve’s, but it did far from ruin the moment, it made it. They were not perfect by any means and Eve loved it, compared to her relationship with Niko that was a perfect, normal, boring fantasy.

_ Too late for regret, you’ve made your choice. _

This was the line. This was the line that made Eve pick the song. She had chosen Villanelle even before she was guiding her away from The Twelve. Hugo, Niko, leaving almost anyone dead or worse, just to save Villanelle. Being in her arms, having her laugh and tease and cry with her when Eve finally found the courage to admit this was worth more than almost anything she had ever done, and any moments she valued more were all intrinsically linked with the path to Villanelle, anyway.

_ The water will drown out my voice. _

Villanelle pulled away from Eve, confused. She stood there, head tilted, trying to focus in on the lyrics. Eve had realised what she had taken away from the song; she had picked up on the literal meanings of the words rather than the metaphorical. 

“I don’t like this song very much. Why is it about drowning?” Villanelle asked. Eve crossed the small gap between them to take Villanelle’s hands, swaying them gently. Villanelle let her lead again and they began to move to the music again.

“I didn’t quite interpret it that way when I heard this.”

_ One last breath will set me free. _

“I’d be interested to hear your explanation, then.” At least Villanelle’s smile was back. The energy of the dance increased and they were taking bigger steps now, moving across the floor of the ballroom. Villanelle was leading them at this point, the other arm not holding Eve’s firmly around Eve’s waist while Eve clung onto Villanelle’s shoulder to keep the pace.

  
“Well, I always saw the song as accepting a new beginning. Letting go of the past and committing to the future with no regrets. I guess I picked it just in case I completely buckled on the words I wanted to say. It was another way of telling you that I pick you and I don’t regret walking away from everything that I had, even back then, if I could have you and I’m sorry for being so wavering, before.”

For yet another, and probably not the last time this night, Eve felt herself being pulled against Villanelle. Her arms were tight around her back, with one hand in her hair, pushing Eve’s head towards her. Eve settled her head on Villanelle’s shoulder with her arms around her. She could feel Villanelle’s shoulder jerking occasionally, breathing shaky and a slight dampness to her shoulder. They were at a point now where they did not need to question each other’s tears and both understood that crying was not necessarily a bad thing. It was a process of emotions, to give them the chance to move on to the future.

Still, Eve did prefer a happier, laughing Villanelle. So with the song finishing, she took the opportunity to lighten the mood. She moved Villanelle away from her, taking her hands.

“The slow motion thing was more of a suggestion, though. I’m old, I can’t keep up.”

Villanelle laughed and kissed her. They were both grinning like children at Christmas.

“I can’t wait to go home with you, Eve.”

To anybody else, they would most likely read into that as seductive, with intent. Eve took it as the greatest compliment, it meant that Villanelle had finally found somewhere that she could call home. That Villanelle considered anywhere with Eve home made Eve’s heart want to burst and made her all the more motivated to establish a place of safety where they could both be as normal as can be - albeit all that has happened - and live out their years together. They had a lot of dating and flirting to catch up on and Eve could not wait to find out new ways to make her smile.

The music faded out and into the familiar piano-synth combination they had shared their first moment to barely four days ago. The pair of them danced along, singing at the tops of their voices. Moving in and out, Villanelle held up her arm for Eve to spin around, her dress billowing out and tickling Villanelle’s leg. Eve tried the same with Villanelle but it was awkward due to their height difference and Villanelle accidentally let go of Eve’s hands. She ran towards Eve and the both of them fell into the table in a playful embrace, duetting the ‘la’ parts over and over through giggles.

The music cut out halfway. Both of them froze and their eyes darted around, but there was nothing to be seen. There was nobody around. Eve looked at the door behind the bar but the young man tending to them was nowhere to be found, either. Eve used the wall to steady herself as she walked over to the music player to see what happened.

“Probably just a glitch, nothing to worry about.” Eve tried to calm Villanelle, but the smile had all but faded and Villanelle’s eyes were darting around the room. She moved to Eve, gripping her arm and pulling her behind her, as if she was shielding her.

Music started playing again, a romantic low violin and a piano crescendo. Eve glanced at the screen and saw a track name she did not recognise. It was in French, loosely translating to ‘dark eyes.’

“What? I didn’t put this on the-” Eve stuttered but Villanelle had dropped her arm and was storming towards the entrance of the ballroom with daggers in her eyes. Eve was confused until she noticed a looming shadow at the door and moved to the bar, grabbing the champagne bottle as a weapon.

“Hello, ladies.” The shadow spoke in a familiar, warm, Russian way. Eve relaxed her grip on the champagne bottle as it stepped forward. Grey hair, worn out waterproof jacket, unkempt face. It was Konstantin, who they both assumed to have been dead. Eve stayed where she was as she watched Villanelle break into a sprint and wrap her arms around Konstantin, almost knocking him into the door. His face contorted into one of shock before giving off his usual laugh, putting an arm gingerly around her shoulder.

Eve could not help but smile at the pair of them. Obviously she had a lot of questions about him but the overwhelming relief of seeing Konstantin, alive, pushed them aside. They were safe, in a way. The arrival of Konstantin meant that they had a hell of a lot more of a chance than just the two of them on their own. He brought safety, security and maybe some more money, because Eve knew they were in need of it after her lavish treat for Villanelle.

She could hear them talking in Russian, oddly for Villanelle, but Eve took that as a gesture of secretism. This conversation, this moment was not for her. She turned her back towards them and walked over to the music player to turn it off as the violin track had started playing again. It seemed that Konstantin had edited the playlist through bluetooth. She fiddled with it, trying to find another generic tea dance playlist. They still had some time before they gave up the ballroom and Eve had her eye on that bottle of champagne as she knew they would not be sharing the night together as planned but she still wanted to indulge.

That was when she heard a bang. Eve tried to turn around but found she could not, a blistering pain spiralling through her hip and up her arm and into her chest. She pressed her hand to the source of the pain and could feel that it was wet. Eve looked down, and although it was barely distinguishable from the red of her dress, she could see the blood. A wave of nausea hit her as her head spun. She was bleeding. She had been shot.  _ Again. _

  
Eve did not have time to consider who had shot her as she went down, gripping onto the tablecloth and bringing down the entire contents of the table with her. Another crash as she felt her vision fade, her eyes becoming too heavy to keep open. Her hearing was muffled and she heard faded, deep shouting and an animalistic roar. She tried to focus on the sounds, more loud crashing, glass smashing, grunts, groans. Every sound sounded as if it was underwater as the waves of pain crashed over her, as she could feel her dress and the ground underneath her soak with her blood.

The last thing she registered was the pressure of large, clumsy hands to her waist as she took one last gulp of air before the last scraps of her consciousness faded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- chapter playlist, as this is quite a musically inclined chapter.
> 
> 1\. Within my heart - Jack Shaindlin  
> 2\. Music for Anglo Saxes - Alan Bristow  
> ^ these can be switched just for a generic tea dance playlist, too. I found some good ones on youtube, but these two songs specifically relate to 3x08.
> 
> 3\. Slow Motion - Amarante  
> 4\. Crocodile Rock - Elton John  
> 5\. Les Yeux Noirs - Sergei Trofanov (or, HAPPY BIIIIRTHDAY as most of us know the song as)  
> 6\. Strange Effect - Unloved (Mentioned)


	15. We are going to have lots of really loud sex.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve and Villanelle come to terms with the events of the ballroom. A familiar face offers them a way out, but it comes at a price that Villanelle struggles to accept.

This was not Eve’s first rodeo with death, and that was precisely how she knew she was still alive, for now. Her brain flickered into consciousness every once in a while, most of her senses still unable to function, but she picked up on a touch here, a sound there, a flicker of light dimmed by a shadow sometimes. She could hear the hum of a car engine, two voices arguing in a mix of Russian and garbled English. She could feel her body being jerked about and she could guess they were clearly not driving along the road. Eve gasped, trying to claw a little bit of breath back to give her the energy to open her eyes. She got her lids half up and could see the shadows of a car door and the occasional orange beam from a streetlight pass by for a millisecond.

The pain was still overwhelming and if she were conscious enough to react, she probably would have screamed. Instead it came out as a raspy squeak. She felt her body being shifted and a shadow obscured her eyesight as she succumbed to her injuries again. The last thing she could feel was a few drops of water falling onto her face. Was it raining?

Eve could finally open her eyes. Her waist was a slight discomfort that pinned her to the bed whenever she tried to sit up, but the pain was no longer overwhelming. She looked around the room: it was sterile, blue and cold, but definitely not a hospital. Last time she had been shot, she had been hooked up to many different machines and wires with hospital staff always nearby and attentive. This place was eerie and silent. She had little energy to call out to anyone, however. She could not find her voice.

On the table by the window sat her overnight carrier and her handbag. Someone had obviously gone back to the hotel to retrieve it and over the chair hung her red dress, damp with a crimson stain. It still did not look completely dry and judging by the early rays of sun peeking through the window, it was only the morning after. She must have not been out that long.

Eve looked down at herself. She was wrapped up in an old white nightdress - obviously not hers - that hit her thigh. Whoever had dealt with her had kept her underwear on, but removed her bra. She had bandages taped to her waist where she had been shot. Eve ran her hand from the injury and up her chest gingerly, stopping at her neck. It was bare and that was when she realised the necklace that Villanelle had given her was gone. She scratched and pulled there, expecting that the pendant had just fallen behind her neck or something but it was truly gone. Her eyes darted around the room, looking for any hint of evidence that Villanelle had come with her, but there was nothing. Had she been abandoned?

That led her to dwell on whoever shot her. Konstantin had appeared just as she was shot. Did he lead The Twelve to them? Was Villanelle in on it? Was this all a final, elaborate plot to take her down, once and for all? If it was, it was mortifying. Eve had fallen for it, hook, line and sinker with the added embarrassment of loving Villanelle. Of course, that thought only lived in Eve’s brain for a second until she was reminded that Villanelle was still not there. Her heart ached for her, just to know that she was safe. Eve had hit the floor very quickly after it all started, with her back turned to the door. Did Villanelle make it out fine? Eve could bear the betrayal, but she could not bear to think of Villanelle as dead.

She was too exhausted to cry so she let the tears run down her face silently. She turned her head to see if there were any tissues on the side and noticed a cabinet beside her bed. On it was a cup of water, morphine pills that had most likely been stolen and the little panda that Villanelle had won at the funfair only six days ago. All of this had happened in six days and the thought made Eve’s head spin. She flung her arm out to reach for the panda but the pain in her hip shot up her back and she cried out, a strangled, choked sob, still reaching for the bear. Eve was trying to move but she was just weakly thrashing about against the bed, the bear just out of her grasp. She fell down onto her stomach, groaning.

“Eve? Eve, no.” It was Konstantin. He walked over to the bed and helped her up onto her back again and looked over at the bear, sighing. He passed it to her along with some tissues. She clung onto the bear and held it to her chest with both arms, letting the tissues drop onto the bed next to her. Konstantin crossed the room to pull up a chair next to Eve.

“Where is she?” Those were the first words Eve could croak out. Konstantin looked nervous. Eve repeated them with urgency.

“She is fine. She is in a room at the other end of the hall. We had to put her there to calm her down. She is not in a good way-”

The same words that Konstantin used to lure Eve onto this road trip. Eve knew what they meant, instantly. It was a nicer way of telling her that Villanelle had broken at the sight of losing something, or to be more crude, that she had gone mad. Last time Konstantin had described her as being ‘not in a good way,’ Villanelle had blown up her family home. She dreaded to think of the state of the ballroom, but was still curious, in a way.

“What happened?”

“There were five members of The Twelve, including that bartender who you had dismissed. He was a sniper. I managed to find out that they knew where you were and followed you there first. I did not have your number or a way to contact you so I just went straight to the ballroom. Villanelle recognised the music but we were too slow. Obviously when I showed up, the sniper sounded the alarm and shot at you. He was a new recruit though, I’m surprised they put him on this sort of a job as his first go and he missed.”

It was Eve’s fault after all. Her plans to torch the car and then book a ballroom were nothing more than a flag for The Twelve to find them. She was overwhelmed by love and had thrown rationality to the side and it had only led to them almost dying. 

_ It also led to a lot of dancing and kissing. Still worth it.  _

Eve really hated her sarcastic inner voice at times. Konstantin continued explaining, he had picked up on her self-blame and looked as if he wanted to talk her out of it.

“It was my fault. I was there for a while before I showed up at the door. I...I didn’t want to interrupt you.” Konstantin was looking down at his knees, clasping his hands together. He seemed awkward, which just confused Eve more.

“Why didn’t you want to interrupt? Konstantin, if it was a matter of life or death then-”

“I didn’t want to ruin the moment. She has no happy memories and I knew that you were capable of giving her some. It was going to be a horrible journey ahead for her so that is why I involved you.”

“So essentially you orchestrated this whole thing because you knew she wanted me?”

“In short, yes. But it’s a little more complicated than that. I want out of this, I want out of it all because they wanted to kill me. So does she, she was only being used by Dasha to get her home, but Villanelle would need me to get her out. If we ran away from The Twelve, they would use you to get to us and she would take the bait. So I needed you to come with us. I played a little dumb with not knowing about your husband so that’s why I organised a few days away for you two. It gave me time to prepare something and gave you two a chance to kiss and make up. That, and I would really quite like some peace and quiet once all of this is done, so if I take you with us, then she will not bother me. I like the quiet.”

Eve frowned, taking in Konstantin’s story. He had basically used Eve as a diversion for Villanelle while he set up a plan to take her out of the country and away from The Twelve to save his life while disguising it as playing matchmaker. It was the most selfless plan to disguise a selfish goal. Eve could not decide whether to be annoyed, flattered, in awe or just plain baffled. She shifted to try and pull herself up a little more and Konstantin held her arm and moved the pillow to help her.

“So you essentially just played wingman? Where were you in my early twenties? I would have saved so many shitty dates if I had you setting them up.” Eve laughed and Konstantin joined her, although his face snapped back to a grave, serious expression just as quickly.

“Don’t let Villanelle hear you say that.” He smiled and rested his elbow on the cabinet.

“What happened after I got shot? I don’t really remember much apart from a few moments in a car.”

“Villanelle took them all down. She only got a weapon after the two of them were dead. She did not stop until they had been ripped to pieces.” Konstantin held the back of his hand to his mouth and Eve could have sworn he looked a little paler. She had no doubts that he was literal in his words. 

She should be horrified, but in a way, she was amazed although hurt for Villanelle, and she felt a pang of guilt for feeling slight happiness that Villanelle had killed for her. She had promised Villanelle that she would not need to kill again and somehow felt it was her fault, her responsibility. Eve desperately wanted to see her, wanted to show her nothing more that she was alive and okay and that she was absolutely fine with what Villanelle had done. She could not help but feel like they had taken a few steps back, Villanelle would retreat into her self-deprecating thoughts of being a monster and Eve would just have to sit there and coax them out. Besides, they wanted them dead anyway, it was merely a matter of survival. Villanelle ripping them limb from limb was only an added gesture of love. Konstantin continued talking which brought Eve away from her thoughts. She turned to look at him again.

“I have never really seen her like that. I know she’s killed in some inventive ways, but they were usually quite neat. It was like she was an animal, horrifying. But in some ways, quite amazing to watch. It was as if her eyes glazed over or something, she seemed completely out of it, focused only on killing them all. She was getting ready to storm out and find the others until I shouted to her that you were still alive and that brought her to her senses.”

“She thought I was dead?”

“Villanelle will always assume the worst.”

_ Oh, my Villanelle. _ Eve leaned back and closed her eyes, clutching the bear to her chest. She wished it could be Villanelle, here with her now, safe in her arms. She wanted to tear back the blankets, rush down the corridors to her just to comfort her but she was too weak to even sit up unaided. Eve felt her face become wet again and Konstantin picked up the tissue off the bed and handed it to her. Eve would not let go of the bear to take the tissues and just hid her face from Konstantin.

“Take the tissue.”

  
  
“I want to see her. I need to.” Eve was firm. Konstantin moved away from Eve, putting the tissue on her leg, within reach.

“It is quite an upsetting thing to see. Maybe you should wait until we’ve calmed her down.”

“I don’t care. No. She needs to know I’m alive.”

Konstantin nodded and put his hand on Eve’s, giving it a pat. Eve jerked her hand away and Konstantin shifted the chair away from her. He got up and left the room, Eve’s eyes watching him to the door. She kept her eyes fixated there, watching as he left her line of sight. She listened keenly to the sound of keys, a door unlocking and a conversation between him and who she could assume to be Villanelle. Eve was relieved to hear them speaking in English. She hung off every word the two of them said.

“Eve is awake.”

“Let me see her.” Villanelle’s voice was full of emotion. Panic, fear, rage. There was a thud that sounded like a body hitting the wall. Eve glared at the door and braced herself to get out and help Villanelle if she needed to. She would not get far, but throwing her body on the floor would be a distraction. She had to see her.

“Don’t push me. Are you calm enough? You aren’t convincing me that it’s safe for you to see her.” Eve relaxed. Villanelle had pushed Konstantin instead. She cared about him a lot less.

“What do you mean? I need to see her.” She sounded defensive, her voice rising at the end.

“She has been awake for not even half an hour. She’s still out of it. You need to be calm. Why haven’t you cleaned yourself up?” Konstantin sounded like he was speaking through gritted teeth. Eve wanted to know why he was so determined to keep them apart.

“I…” There was a pause. What on earth did Konstantin mean by Villanelle cleaning herself up? Eve tried to see if she could crane her neck to see out of the door. She saw a shred of red in the distance, but winced again. She had pulled too far.

“Ow, shit!” She gasped and tried to reach for her wound but had to lie back down. The pain was dizzying and she whined.

“Eve?” Villanelle’s cry sounded exactly like she did in Rome as Eve, the same painful disbelief as when Eve began to walk away from her. She heard Konstantin swear and watched as shadows bounced down the corridor floor, getting closer and closer. Eve looked up at the door from where she was stuck on the bed to see Villanelle’s hand on the frame of the door. She was barefoot but still dressed in the red, chiffon dress, her hair was still down and apart from the tear-streaked makeup, she still looked absolutely stunning. There was only one thing vastly different. Most of her skin was covered in dried blood, from her lips to her chest, her arms and legs. Eve’s mouth dropped open. Her eyes were drawn to the necklace, still there, but the heart was tinged red and had sunk into the ‘best’ engraving.

Villanelle was at her side quickly, helping Eve get into a more comfortable position in the bed, lying her down. She went to move the panda next to Eve but Eve gripped her wrist. Part of her wanted to protect the panda from Villanelle’s bloody grip but she was also overtaken by an insatiable desire to touch her. Villanelle covered Eve’s hand with hers so gently, although Eve could see the restraint in her through the painful tears in her own eyes.

“What happened to you?” Eve choked out, breathless. She wanted to reach for Villanelle’s face but she was just a little out of reach and her hip was throbbing. Eve regretted her words instantly as she saw Villanelle step away from the bed, eyes wide and full of hurt. Villanelle was just as scared, if not more so than Eve was and she had been locked in a room for the past few hours. She held her arm out to Villanelle just as Konstantin caught up to the pair of them.

“You can’t touch her while you’re like that. The wound needs to remain sterile. Sit down, Villanelle if you won’t sort yourself out.” Konstantin brought a chair over to Villanelle and looked down at it, hinting for her to sit down. Villanelle did, completely rigid, back ruler straight against the chair. Her hands were balled into fists on her knees and she was staring at the wall behind Eve, face screwed up.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” With that, Konstantin walked out. The two of them were silent for a few minutes, neither finding the words to be able to talk to each other, although Eve was watching Villanelle for any sort of reaction. Asking if they were okay was redundant because it was so clear that both of them were not okay. Somehow, it felt as if they were back in the car almost a week ago, both burned, vulnerable, dancing around to break each other. Eve was done with that, though. She started the conversation this time as soon as Villanelle caught her gaze.

“Where are we?” She smiled at Villanelle and took the panda into her arms again. The intention was to create a soft, calm image, like a parent convincing their child they were not angry, but the panda also worked to occupy her hands and ease her anxiousness. She fiddled with its ears.

“It’s the site of a psychiatric centre that got shut down last year, officially. Although it’s clearly still in use, probably on the sly. Konstantin pulled a few strings to get you some treatment by some private doctors. Explains the locks on the door.” Villanelle’s laugh was sarcastic, bitter. Eve was appalled and furious with Konstantin for what he had done to Villanelle, regardless of what his intentions were. She just wanted to hold her. Eve held out her hand to Villanelle but she shook her head.

“We can’t. We have to keep your wound sterile so we can get better.” Villanelle had one leg up on the chair and was resting her head on her knee, turned away from Eve. It was such a world away from even just twelve hours ago, when they were laughing and teasing about surprises and walking alongside each other. She retracted her hand and her eyes stung at the rejection. She just needed some comfort for herself, too.

“Talk to me, Villanelle. Talk to me about what happened.”

“I didn’t see the kid take aim at you because I was past the bar. All I heard was the bang and I assumed that you had fired something because I didn’t have a gun. I was about to turn around and tell you off and then I saw Konstantin’s face and turned around as you fell. I thought you were dead. I thought there would be no way you could survive being shot twice” Villanelle was looking down over her knee. Eve inched over so that she would be in Villanelle’s line of sight.

“The last one was six months ago.” Eve tried to reassure her and Villanelle smiled. All she wanted to do was touch her but she knew Villanelle would move away.

“I don’t really remember what happened afterwards. I looked around and I was surrounded and I didn’t have a weapon. I jumped over the bar and sunk my teeth into that boy and then I was grabbed by another. I managed to claw into his face and found a knife by the lemons and then took their guns once I knew they were dead, that every drop of blood from them was spilled onto the floor. The rest were fairly easy but I wanted to make sure I had finished the job. I knew there was more coming because we were such big targets so I got ready to face them. I was ready to rip them all apart or die trying, but then Konstantin yelled at me that you were alive. It brought me out of the anger and I knew I had to get you out alive because I had something to fight for again.”

Eve looked from Villanelle’s blood streaked jaw to her fingers. Her nails were coated in blood, it had seeped under her nail beds and down the sides. The blood looked like bad halloween paint, in a way as it had dried streaky and uneven. It explained the crashing and the clumsy hands. Konstantin was the person who had come to her rescue and left Villanelle to sink back into her assassin persona to keep them alive. From what Villanelle said, that was not quite the narrative, but Eve needed to convince her that she was doing it to save their lives.

“You were just keeping us alive, it’s okay.” She held out her hand again to Villanelle, who just looked at it before averting her eyes.

“But I wasn’t. I didn’t care if they shot me or not after I thought you were dead. It was revenge. Do you think I’m a monster, Eve? I ripped those men apart for revenge.”

Obviously Eve’s initial reaction was to answer with a firm, passionate no. She stopped herself though and tilted her head to catch Villanelle’s avoidant gaze. If Villanelle was bragging about the technique of the murders, she would have called it romantic, but in front of her was the same, shell shocked Villanelle who she had picked up from the airport mere days after killing her family. She ignored Konstantin’s advice and reached out to touch her leg. Villanelle began to protest but Eve cut her off.

“No. No, of course I would never think you were a monster. I think I would have done the same if it were you who had been shot. I don’t think I would have been able to control myself.”

“I-I, I didn’t want to. I don’t want to kill anymore people. I just thought of the fact that you had done so much to protect me and they were tearing you away from me because they wanted me and that I dragged you up into this and-” Villanelle’s breathing heightened, her chest was heaving. It was like in the hotel when she was panicking before, but Eve could not wrap her arms around her and tell her it was okay. She just wanted to pull her onto the bed and coil around her, the duvet over them, hiding from the world. Eve was out of energy though, out of energy to keep up this annoying cat-and-mouse chase, to soothe Villanelle’s inner conflict of killing and she snapped a little. She squeezed Villanelle’s thigh to get her to look at her.

“Listen. Listen to me. Remember when you said that I needed to have confidence in myself? I want you to take that advice too. I know you don’t want to kill anymore and that you’re not doing it for fun. You were taking them out to save us. Sure, it was a little more violent than it could have been, but we all have a few...slips when we get angry, though and honestly? Most people would rip apart anyone who tried to kill someone close to them even if they had never killed anyone else before. I would stop at nothing to find anyone who hurt you, especially if they took you away from me. I don’t think you’re a monster. Neither does Konstantin. So you need to stop treating yourself as you are one because I can tell you that your reaction was entirely human.”

Villanelle looked up at Eve and took the hand that was on her leg. They both shared a smile and Villanelle started laughing, which confused Eve.

  
“What?”   
  
“Only you would think that maiming a bunch of people after they hurt someone would be a normal human reaction.”

“Can I be honest?”

“Hm?”

“Actually I think it’s kind of romantic. Makes me love you just that little bit more.” Eve could not resist adding in her true thoughts. It was a risk, but watching Villanelle’s cheeks heat up was entirely worth it.

“You’re weird. Who wou-” Villanelle had an incredulous expression on her face.

  
“I think you need to stop thinking about what other people think and focus on us. Trust me, Villanelle.” Eve rubbed the back of Villanelle’s hand with her thumb to soothe her. Villanelle mimicked the touch on Eve’s hand.

Konstantin walked back into the room holding Villanelle’s bag. He took one look at the two of them holding hands and put his head into the crook of his arm.

“What did I say? You two will drive me into an early grave. You need to let go of her.” He beckoned over a doctor who came in with a trolley of bandages, antiseptic equipment and gauze. He threw the bag into Villanelle’s lap and continued to scold her.

“You need to shower. We have stuff to sort out and you are really starting to turn my stomach looking like that.”

“Eve thinks it’s romantic.” Villanelle retorted, pulling a face and Eve chuckled. Konstantin tried to keep his face straight but a smirk broke through for a few seconds before he pressed his lips together to retain a more neutral expression.

“Yes, well, she is strange like you. But she needs to think of her health and we need to think of our safety. So go and get changed. Wipe it all off.”

Villanelle grinned at Eve, took the bag and asked the doctor in the room for directions. He did a few vague hand gestures and she left the room. Konstantin eyed the chair Villanelle had been sitting in but obviously thought against it, choosing to stand at the foot of the bed instead, hands on the frame. The doctor came over and set to work on changing Eve’s dressing meticulously. She bit her lip, scrunched up her face and winced through the sting of it, but it was a familiar pain, it was only a month ago that she was changing her own bandages at home.

“We are going to need to move you, Eve. We have to leave today.”

  
  
Eve nodded. She did not even need to ask where they were going. Villanelle had created another mess and by this time, they were probably being hunted by The Twelve, the police and MI6. They had dragged Konstantin into being a fugitive too, but unlike the two of them, he seemed to have a plan, luckily. 

This did not mean that she was not terrified inside, though. Her last injury took several months of rehabilitation to get through. She had spent time unconscious and it still took her a while to recover with the support of legal doctors. Running away with Konstantin and Villanelle meant that her recovery was down to her and in a strange, unfamiliar place. It brought her right back to Rome again, considering whether to run off home. This time she knew she did not have a choice, though, and the gentle singing coming through the wall from Villanelle in the shower reminded her that they were so close to safety. This was her new normal, and if keeping it meant a bullet or two in the stomach, she would do it all again.

Once the doctor had finished dressing Eve’s wound, the two of them helped her into a sitting position against the pillows. Eve cried out again in pain and Konstantin looked over to the doctor for help. The doctor checked a whiteboard by the side of her bed and surveyed a list of times by a codename.

“She’s good to take another dose of pain relief now. Did you say you’ve dealt with this kind of injury before?”

“Yes, but I guess in a lot less of an illegal way.” Eve chuckled to herself. The doctor did not laugh with her and just prepared a file for her.

“I assume you already know how to change your dressings, then and that I don’t need to show you again. The bullet only did tissue damage, so you’re incredibly lucky, but you really need to be careful because of your old injury. It will be a week or two before you’re fully mobile again so you need to rest, ideally.”

“I know. I’ll try my best.” Eve knew what the doctor meant. Running away was a bad idea and she was merely a dead weight to them both.

“I’ll pack you up enough supplies and medication to last for a month, at least. Come along Konstantin, we have some stuff to discuss.”

Konstantin reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. Through the paper, Eve could see the shine of plastic notes.

“I need to stay here. There is no need to be discreet. Would this be enough for extra?”

The doctor took the envelope and left, leaving Konstantin alone with Eve again. He retrieved Eve’s bag from the table and set it down on the end of the bed. He did not let go of the handles, giving Eve a soft smile. It was awkward, so Eve tried to make conversation.

“I’m flattered you would spend so much on me, Konstantin.” He was still such a mystery to Eve. She had no idea of his intentions.

“It’s not my money. That’s another reason why we have to get out of here.”

“Of course it isn’t.” Most people would be furious, concerned. Eve found it funny, and Konstantin laughed with her.

Villanelle appeared in the doorway, her wet hair thrown up into a loose bun, wearing the red summer dress and what were her white shoes, although they definitely carried a more pink hue to them. Konstantin looked down at them and shook his head. He seemed completely done with the two of them and Eve feared there might be some truth to his ‘early grave’ comment.

“They’re all that I have.” Villanelle tried to look apologetic but failed. She dropped her red dress on top of Eve’s and looked down at them longingly. Eve felt it too, she was sad they got so ruined. It would have been a nice memory to preserve them.

“Okay, whatever, we’ll sort it later. We need to leave soon so you need to help Eve get dressed. I’ll bring a wheelchair and explain the rest of the plan once she is up and ready to go. I will give you some privacy.”

With that, Konstantin drew the blind on the window of the door and walked out, closing it behind him. Eve grimaced and threw her head back onto the pillow. She knew this was going to hurt. Last time she had been shot, she had spent three days in an induced sleep before they were ready to bring her around. This time, although far less damage had been done, it had not even been half a day since she was shot. It was still too raw and the thought made her nauseous. She just wanted to recover and sleep in a proper hospital.

Villanelle was lingering around the bed, a few steps away from Eve. If Eve was well enough, she would have pulled her into her arms and into a kiss as soon as Konstantin had left. Instead she just watched Villanelle go over to her bag and sort through the clothes to find something appropriate for Eve to wear. Villanelle pulled one of her turtlenecks out of the bag and stretched it, frowning and putting it back in the bag.

“What would you like to wear, Eve? Maybe something with buttons so it’s easy to get off?” Villanelle held up the white pleated tea dress but Eve was concerned she may ruin it with the wound.

“The blouse, maybe? It has buttons and it’s loose. I could wear the cotton trousers I have with it.”

Villanelle found the clothes and inspected them, The blouse was a little too sheer for Eve to wear comfortably without a bra and the waistline of the trousers would have pressed straight onto the wound and would cause Eve incredible pain. Villanelle shook her head at Eve. The idea was no good.

“I have nothing else. I didn’t pack any dresses, really.”

Villanelle took a look in her bag and pulled out a royal blue maxi dress that was elasticated at the bust and flowed out before the waist. Eve thought it was gorgeous, too beautiful to be wasted on her. She tried to protest against Villanelle giving her the dress but Villanelle had already walked over to her and placed a finger against her lips. Eve wanted to kiss it, but thought better of it.

“You need to be comfortable. Besides, I think this would look gorgeous on you more than me, anyway. Arms up.”

“I can’t.”

“Oh. I’ll find some scissors.”

Villanelle rummaged through the cabinet and managed to find an old scalpel, of all things. She carefully pulled the nightdress away from Eve’s skin and made a neat tear down the middle with one swipe, pulling the sleeves off her. Eve’s eyes were fixated on the scalpel. She had held her breath as she watched it glide over the dress, neatly tearing it in two. Villanelle pulled the dress over Eve, gently. The elasticated bust gave the sleeves enough stretch that she could slip the dress on and then pull the sleeves over Eve’s shoulders and adjust it easily.

“It reminds me of the blue dress you wore to the school. Blue really is a colour for you, it compliments your eyes so well.”

Eve smiled at the memory. She was right, she knew Villanelle had been at the school and most likely had something to do with Gemma getting her nails into Niko for a little, at least. She shook that thought away, her eyes were drawn to Villanelle’s neck. She had still put the necklace on even though it was tinged with blood. The deep neckline made it even more apparent that something she had grown so used to was missing. Eve tried to reach out to touch the necklace with her right side, her good side, but she still yelped at the dull ache. The painkillers had not quite kicked in yet. Before Villanelle could ask her again if she was okay, she interjected with her question.

“Where’s mine?”

“What? Where’s what?”

“My necklace.”

“Oh. It’s in my bag, I took it off you in the car because I didn’t want it to get lost. It was nice to have something to hold onto while I was stuck in that room, too. That and the bear.” Villanelle nodded her head with a smile to where her bag was. A little black bear was peeping out the top of the bag. She was relieved to know that they were both in sync even when separated.

“Can I have it?”

Villanelle retrieved the necklace, it too had a tiny mark of blood on it, probably from the gunshot. She moved Eve’s hair out of the way to clasp the necklace around her neck. Villanelle brushed out Eve’s hair loosely with her fingers and Eve closed her eyes again, savouring the small touches. It reminded her of the first time Villanelle had brushed out her hair in the hotel and in that moment she could pinpoint the exact second she had properly fallen in love with Villanelle. That touch was the first time she had experienced her softer side and while she was first attracted to the danger, the mystery of Villanelle, this was what she wanted. Forever. The memory made her eyes watery and a small sniffle found its way out of her.

“Eve? What’s wrong?” Villanelle, who was beside her moved to sit on the bed. She pressed her hand lightly to Eve’s face and Eve tilted her head to Villanelle. She wanted to rest on her shoulder but she knew her body would only reward her with pain.

“I’m scared, Villanelle. I just-”

“What’s scaring you?”

“This. All of this. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want it. I thought I did, back then, but I just can’t bear the uncertainty. I want to be safe and I want you to be safe, too. I just want a normal job and a normal life.”

“Me too.” Villanelle was looking out of the window to the houses and the green, rolling hills in the scenery. She paused and took a tissue to pat at Eve’s face.

“If you had the option to go back, would you? Like you did in Rome- I guess just without the shooting.” Villanelle asked Eve. Before Eve could even talk, she was shaking her head into Villanelle’s hands.

“No. Of course not. I’m happy where I am, I just wish there was a way to be able to be here without fearing for our lives.” Eve laughed sarcastically and continued.

“I used to enjoy the fear, the risks. What happened?” Eve asked herself.

“For me, I was bored. I liked to show off but nobody would look. Then you did, and I had something to lose.” Eve reached up to pull Villanelle’s face to her. The pain was dull now, the tablets had kicked in, but her face still screwed up at the quick movement. Villanelle went to move but Eve shot her a look.  _ Don’t you dare. _

“I think that might be it for me, too.” Eve wanted to lean up to kiss her but she just looked at Villanelle’s lips. Luckily, Villanelle was always very good at getting the hints, even when Eve was not sure of them herself. She kissed Eve gently, an arm loosely around Eve’s shoulders to support her.

“Are-oh. I’ll give you two a moment.” Konstantin laughed once, awkwardly and began to walk towards the door. Both women pulled away from each other and spoke at the same time.

“No, it’s fine.” Eve said.

“You’re interrupting.” Villanelle said.

“Make your mind up,’ Konstantin offered, but had already come over to the bed with a wheelchair, aligning it next to Eve. Villanelle made to pick up Eve, but she stopped her with a grumble.

“I need to try and be able to walk. I can’t be a dead weight.”

Eve managed to get onto her feet but hung onto Villanelle’s shoulders, nails digging in. Her body was pulling against her and her legs were shaking. The pain was still a dull ache, but it was as if she had no upper body strength left. She took two steps towards the wheelchair and her legs gave out, leaving Eve to collapse to the floor. Villanelle picked her up before she even hit the floor and Konstantin was next to her, supporting her shoulders. They put her into the wheelchair and Eve burst into tears. The bullet had done more than just a minor scratch and with several members of The Twelve dead and a trail of blood behind them, Eve could see her future. Villanelle and Konstantin would die with her in their hands. She was nothing more than a dead weight in her eyes, regretting everything and buckling under the pressure.

“Don’t bother taking me. I’ll slow you down-” Eve started. Villanelle and Konstantin both rolled their eyes.

“We’re taking you.” Konstantin and Villanelle said in unison. Eve and Villanelle were both stunned at Konstantin’s defiance.

“If I have to live the rest of my life with her, I am bringing her a friend so she does not spend the whole time bothering me. You’re coming, Eve. You need to. Do you want to die?”

“Excuse me! That’s rude. You’re equally as annoying. Besides, who says I’m living the rest of your life with you?” Villanelle stepped forward towards him and he backed away a little. Eve watched the two of them argue, it was like a snapshot of her life in the future. She actually quite liked it and chuckled to herself, watching them throw insults back and forth between each other until Konstantin grew annoyed.

“I’m saying that I am coming with you, if it weren’t for me the both of you would be dead, anyway.. I have organised a house through an old family friend in Romania. We need to go through Russia to pick up something and then drive there. You and I will take it in turns to drive because it will be quicker and Eve can rest in the back. There will be jobs for you two to go to in the local village and nobody really bothers anybody there. There will be no fancy clothes or luxurious food, but I think the four of us would be happy.”

Villanelle touched her dress as if the lack of clothes was what bothered her about Konstantin’s description. Eve was counting on her fingers. Something quite literally did not add up.

“Who’s the fourth person, Konstantin?” She asked. 

  
“Some random lover you’re knocking off?” Villanelle quickly added a sarcastic comment.

“No. Irina. If I disappear, they will go after her. We have to go and get her first. Non-negotiable. It will take three days to drive to Russia.” Konstantin was already packing, hanging the bags off Eve’s wheelchair. He handed Villanelle some socks and slippers that bore the mark of the hotel they had been staying at with orders to help put them on Eve’s feet. 

  
“We are going to have lots of really loud sex. Really, really loud.” Villanelle threatened and Eve blushed and scowled, ready to shoot her down. Villanelle, on her knees now, helping Eve with the shoes placed a finger over her own lips.

  
“Absolutely not.” She whispered out of earshot to Villanelle. She looked disappointed and screwed up her face at Eve. Eve copied her expression.

“Irina has headphones and I will be sleeping downstairs, anyway. I’ll just buy earplugs. Any other complaints or can we get going? Who is going to take Eve?” 

“I will.” Villanelle put her hands on the handles while Konstantin packed the last of their belongings. He looked at the bears and held up the one poking out of Villanelle’s bag.

“Do we really need to take these?”

“Yes. We do.” Villanelle snatched it from Konstantin and placed it in Eve’s lap alongside the panda. Eve gripped onto them and held them against her legs. Konstantin walked ahead of them as Villanelle pushed the chair. Eve was quiet, still dabbing her face with a tissue. Her hip was only a dull ache for now, but anytime she tried to move, the pull of pain reminded her. She looked up at Villanelle, who was looking ahead, focused. 

Eve wanted to be optimistic for safety and a nice quiet life, but last time those thoughts crossed her mind, she had been shot in a ballroom. The time before that, she had been forced into a drunken car chase. She wondered if the third time lucky was true, but even if they got to Romania, they would have to find jobs, they would always be looking over their shoulders and honestly, Eve could probably reel off at least ten obstacles off the top of her head. She closed her eyes and an unwelcome memory reared. One of her and Niko, arguing over something mediocre. Absolutely incomparable to what they were dealing with now.

_ You always find an obstacle to throw in the way of anything. _ He had told her. When had he told her that? The chickens? His hesitant first proposal? Some mid-life crisis purchase? The specifics were not important. Even in his death, he was still scolding her. She gazed at Villanelle again, wishing she was walking beside her, maybe hand-in-hand. Villanelle met her eyes with a gentle smile.

“You okay?” Eve asked her. Villanelle nodded. They both were not okay, but now was not the time to process feelings. The time was in a bed, a sleepy morning, three months from now, safe and comfortable in Romania.

“We can talk about it once we get there.” Villanelle suggested.

“What? The sex? I am not budging on that, Villanelle.” Eve spoke quickly and then realised once Villanelle started giggling. Konstantin stopped to look at them but then carried on walking.

“I meant what's on your mind. But, if that’s what is in there, then I am definitely not complaining.” Eve watched Villanelle visibly relax and so did she and she lifted her hand to touch Villanelle’s hand briefly once they had left the building. Konstantin gestured to a beat up old Fiesta and Villanelle began to argue with him again as they loaded up the car.

Maybe everything would be okay, after all.


	16. Focus on the when, not the what if.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of the journey is long and Eve's condition is still not fully stable. They make it to Germany and even find some moments of happiness within the uncertainty.
> 
> TW: blood, motion sickness, mentions of being wary around food and stuff (due to illness). eve is unfortunately not a well person in this chapter, but there is sun on the horizon!

The first day was uncomfortable for Eve. Konstantin and Villanelle had set her up in the back seat with blankets and a pillow but she struggled to move without being reminded that less than a day ago, she had some of her hip blown out by a failed snipe attempt. Theoretically, the injury was less severe than the first time she had crossed paths with a bullet - Villanelle’s shot was precise and the clean shot had damaged her ribs - but somehow, it felt worse. At least she was in a hospital after Rome, hooked up to IVs with pain relief and hydration with very little effort. A bumpy car crossing through a handful of countries illegally was little place to recover from something that could have ended her life.

Eve was slumped down, watching the scenery pass through the window opposite her. Rather than relaxing, it made her feel nauseous. Eve was never particularly brilliant with long distance travel, but throwing in pain, the inability to move and the uncertainty of the situation and it made her stomach twist. She tried to inch herself up, but it hurt and she did not want to interrupt Konstantin to get him to stop so Villanelle could help her. Eve just dealt with it, silently, trying to fill her mind with happier thoughts to push her over the final hurdle to a quiet life.

Konstantin and Villanelle were still bickering in the front of the car. The radio kept changing, being switched off, over to the news, Villanelle complaining about the news, being switched to music spoken in a language not known to Eve. To her, it made for a very disorientating trip and she wanted to get off the ride. The thought that at some point, she needed to eat, she would need to use the bathroom, she would need to get up, crossed her mind and she groaned audibly. She noticed a pair of concerned eyes looking over at her from the top of the seat.

“I’m fine, Villanelle.” She waved Villanelle away. Villanelle meant well, but every time Eve stirred or made any sort of noise, or if she went too long without making any sort of noise, Villanelle would turn and look at her. She often said nothing and just watched until Eve gave her confirmation that she was fine.

“Where are we, anyway? Eve asked. Villanelle looked over to Konstantin.

“Bruges. Belgium.”

They should have been on a train through here today, holding hands and applying for jobs together. Eve closed her eyes and turned her face away from Villanelle, feeling those eyes burn into her back again.

“We should stop. To get food.” Villanelle suggested. Eve pressed her lips together.

“I’m good.”

“Eve, you need something.”

“She’s right, you know.” Konstantin added. Eve would ultimately be very grateful for everything he has done for her, but in this car trip, he was beginning to get on her last nerve.

“Anything I do eat will probably end up coming back up in half an hour. Leave it.” Eve sighed and she could hear the pair mumbling between them as the car pulled into what she could assume to be a petrol station. 

“I’ll go. What do you need?” Konstantin asked. Eve grunted, Villanelle spoke a quick list of items that Eve zoned out from. She heard the car door shut and he left, and it was the first time they had been on their own since the hospital. Villanelle unclipped her seatbelt and turned herself around. She rested her head on the car seat, arms around it, looking at Eve.

“You’re quiet.”

Eve said nothing.

“Just complain. Talk to me. Anything is better than having to listen to him and his shitty news show.”

“This is shit.”

“I know. Why?”

“What do you mean why? I can’t move, I can’t sit up, my stomach hurts, I feel sick. What are we going to do when I need to be moved? What are we going to do if The Twelve catch up to us? What are we going to do if I get worse? I can’t even sit up.”

Villanelle had gotten out of the car and opened the door where Eve sat. She put her arms around Eve’s chest and slowly moved her. Eve gripped onto the back of the seat with one hand and used her other to grip onto Villanelle, nails digging in. It hurt, but she still apologised for bothering Villanelle.

“You don’t need to keep saying sorry. Is that better?”

“Yes. Thank you.” Eve smiled.

“This reminds me a little of the funfair. Do you remember that ride that made you feel dizzy? How long did you cling onto my arm for?” Villanelle laughed. Eve turned to look at her, she was sitting down on the edge of the car doorway.

“Hardly any time at all! You were unpicking my fingers to go and run over to some silly duck game.”

“That silly duck game won us the necklaces that you love so much.”

“I won us the silly necklaces that we love so much.” Eve rephased. Villanelle was holding the pendant between her fingers, picking at the blood stains that had soaked into the engraving. Eve reached down to hold the pendant, she had an idea.

“Give it to me, I think I might be able to get the blood out if you have something small like a hair pin.”

Villanelle reached into her bun and unclipped a small hair grip and handed it to Eve. A strand of hair flipped into her face and Eve tucked it behind her ear. As she went to retract her hand, Villanelle grabbed it and held it to her face, leaning into it. This brought a smile to Eve’s face - the first since the journey had started.

“I miss when it was just us two.” Villanelle said. Eve sighed, she could not help but agree.

“I know. When I’m better it’ll be two against one though, three if I remember Irina well. We won’t have to put up with much of his bullshit.”

“She was a pretty smart kid. I quite liked her even though she did try to paint me as a good person. Probably not as much now since I shot her dad.” Villanelle was looking out into the distance. Eve tried to turn her head to look out but all she could see was the road.

“You are a good person, though.”

“Not you too.” Villanelle feigned disgust but she was trying to fight a smile. Eve chuckled to herself and turned back to lean against the chair. Villanelle reached up to pull the blanket up to her waist, but it bunched somewhere at her thighs and fell off her feet. Eve kicked it back over herself. There was comfortable silence for a few minutes as Villanelle took Eve’s hand. Eve closed her eyes. The stillness was nice, and the light breeze that came through the open car door cooled her face.

“This kind of reminds me of the day you came to pick me up. Although I suppose the roles were reversed, then.”

“I was hungover as shit though, so I still felt pretty rough. Seems like a distant memory, us fighting over a sausage roll. I still can’t believe that was only a week ago.” She laughed to herself. Villanelle squeezed her hand.

“We will be safe, soon. Konstantin has too much to lose and I can’t wait to see you as a cute baker. I should get you a little hat and apron. You will look so cute.” Villanelle reached up to pinch Eve’s cheek, but she frowned. When was baker part of the deal? One thing Eve was not famed for was cooking, Niko would always grimace through her burnt pasta bakes and then disappear out of the door, claiming they needed milk, but never returning with any.

“Were you asleep when Konstantin explained the plan?” Villanelle asked. 

“Something like that, I guess.”

“Konstantin has some jobs lined up for us. I think Irina is going back to school there, but for us he managed to find one in a little family bakery and the other I think was on the farms. I tried to make you a cake once and it ended up in the bin, so we thought it would be best for you since you have worked in a kitchen before.”

“I can’t cook, either. I used to just fill dumplings and prepare meat.”

“I can’t imagine it’ll be too hard. You’ll probably just be on the ovens. Hopefully it means you get free pastries.”

“You hope I get free pastries, don’t you mean.”

“Konstantin is holding out hope, too.”

“What am I holding out hope for?” Konstantin was standing in front of the two of them, in his hands were two plastic bags. Villanelle grabbed at one, sifting through everything. She pulled out an egg and bacon sandwich, but Konstantin snatched it from her.

“That is mine. And this is mine too.” He reached into the bag and pulled out a canned espresso. He gestured for Villanelle to come along, so she took the bags and went to sit in the front again. Once they were back on the road, Villanelle sorted through the bags and picked out the two other sandwiches and a bottle of water.

“Egg mayo? Who likes egg mayo? It smells like ass.” Villanelle complained and handed one to Eve. Eve watched her in the mirror, ripping it open and taking a reluctant bite. Villanelle had a habit of shovelling in food like it was her last meal and it always made her smile. She looked down at her own sandwich but it only turned her stomach. She asked Villanelle for the water and took a few sips from the bottle. Eve felt her dizziness begin to subside and she desperately needed something to do.

“Villanelle? The necklace?”

“Oh.” She watched her unclip it and hand it to her. Eve held it in one hand and put the pin in her mouth, using the other hand to bend it. She began to pick through the engravings as small flakes began to pick off onto her blanket. It should have turned her stomach but the egg mayonnaise seemed a much worse alternative. There were a few more stubborn bits so she poured a tiny bit of the water onto the back of her hand and dipped the pin in it to scrape away the rest.

“Eve has reservations about your baker plan.” Villanelle said through a mouthful of sandwich.

“I don’t, not exactly. I’m just not a very good cook.”

“They’re a friend of a friend. Good bread and meat pies. It’s not stuff that is difficult to cook and they have recipes. You’ll be doing something similar to the restaurant, probably. Nothing too serious.”

“Villanelle? Here.” She handed the necklace back to her.

“Thanks, Eve.”

“So what’s the plan? You need to run me through it.” Eve moved her leg and the sandwich box fell onto the floor. Villanelle picked it up and opened it for Eve, putting it back onto her lap. The smell of egg was overpowering and Eve’s hand went to her mouth.

“Is there really nothing else?”

“Good protein. Soft. Just try a little.” Villanelle took the sandwich and waved it in Eve’s face. Eve rolled her eyes, took her wrist gently and moved it away from her.

“I know what eggs are good for, I used to keep chickens. You’re a shit sometimes.”

“Will you two stop? I am trying to drive.” Konstantin had pulled up at a red light and he pushed Villanelle’s hand back over to her. She pulled her knees up to her chest and sulked. Eve could see her in the mirror and put her hand over her mouth to stop her laughing.

“So, you used to keep chickens, Eve?” Konstantin asked her.

“Yeah, Niko insisted on a couple. It was how I learned that chickens lay eggs out of their ass, but it was always useful to have around for when getting groceries was tough. He was eyeing up some goats, so it was a better alternative. Why do you ask?” Eve was curious. This attempt at small talk was distracting from their plan and she needed to know what was going on. Villanelle often took Konstantin at face value but she could see straight through him most of the time, especially once she had gotten to know him.

“We have a garden. I was thinking of getting some chickens for us, they are quite commonplace in the village. It would be good to have some to use and we could sell the extra eggs to the bakery or to the businesses in the town.”

“Is that your business plan then? To keep a farm?”

“Maybe. Irina likes pets. I don’t want her to be lonely. Why did Niko want goats? Seems a peculiar pet to have in London? I guess they could be good for milk.”

“You’re telling me. He had them in his car one day and I told him-”

There was a dramatic shift in the passenger seat as Villanelle curled up and turned towards the window. Eve was quiet, Konstantin looked over at her, looked up in the mirror at Eve and stuck out his lip as if he was replicating Villanelle’s sulk. Eve supposed she did talk about Niko a lot, but she was always one to dwell on the past. She would make it up to Villanelle later, but soft snores coming from the passenger seat told her that this was not the time.

Eve took the other sandwich out of the box and bit into it. It smelled far, far worse than it tasted with the filling just being a bland mush that slipped down easily. The sandwich was still grim, but Eve could feel the pain beginning to build even when she did not move around, which meant she probably needed more medication. She finished the sandwich and reached for the notebook and pill box in the pouch on the back of the chair.

“Konstantin, what’s the time?”

“Just before four pm.”

It was time. She took her medication and after around twenty minutes, drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

An hour and a half later and they were pulled over on the side of the road, Eve’s door open with her head sticking out as she spluttered up the sandwich she had tried to eat. Konstantin was still in the car, Villanelle was crouched down beside her with a bottle of water.

“Maybe we should see someone.” Villanelle suggested. 

“We don’t have time.” Konstantin shouted from the drivers seat.

“I’m fine. It was probably off.” Eve argued, too. She absolutely hated being babied when she was ill and while Villanelle’s fretting around her was sweet, in a way, but Villanelle was trying to wipe her mouth with a tissue and it just made Eve want to move away. Begrudgingly, she let her and took the water from her, gratefully.

“There are some public bathrooms by a gas station up the road. I can take you there to sort things out.” Konstantin offered. Villanelle helped Eve back into the car and they were silent as they drove there, Eve holding her head in her hands. The awful nauseous feeling had gone, thankfully, but throwing up out of a car when she was not hungover was not her finest moment.

Konstantin waited in the car after helping Villanelle lift Eve into her chair. Eve was thankful that it was just one bathroom, rather than having to cram into stalls. She rinsed her mouth out with the water, washed her face and tied up her hair while Villanelle hung around one of the walls awkwardly, jerking towards her every time she moved or made a sound.

“I’m not a dainty flower. I know how to take care of myself. Relax, Villanelle.” Eve could see her in the mirror, chewing on her finger. She smiled at her through the reflection.

“I can’t relax. I almost lost you.”

“Hardly. They basically said it was just a scratch.”

“It doesn’t look like just a scratch. Most scratches don’t reduce people to wheelchairs and vomiting.”

“I drank a lot of champagne before you turned up last night because I was nervous. It was probably that, too.” Eve lied. She was tipsy, yes, but she had refused to drink until the confession was said and done. They did not have much chance after that, for obvious reasons.

“That smells like bullshit. Let me be worried about you. Can I put my arms around you?” Villanelle had walked towards Eve and rested her arms on the top of the wheelchair,

“In here?” Eve asked. Villanelle looked serious, and confused. She nodded slowly. Eve wanted the touch, but not in a public bathroom where she would be too afraid to touch anything.

“Can we sit outside for a moment? You can hug me as much as you want, then. Just help me use the bathroom, but I want to get out of here.” Eve managed to look up at Villanelle with a little less pain than before and smiled. Villanelle squeezed Eve’s shoulders.

“Okay.” As Villanelle turned around, Eve noticed a bump in her dress that looked suspiciously like a small handgun. At this point, there was very little reason to question it.

They had found a little grassy section behind the back of the bathrooms that overlooked what Eve would guess to be farmland. It was summer and bright out, but the evening air was cool and watching Villanelle fight her dress every time gust picked up was semi-entertaining to Eve. In the distance, Eve could hear the hum of cars, the sounds of birds cawing and the occasional tinkle of a wind chime tied onto the roof of the petrol station. Villanelle wrapped her arms around Eve and dipped her head down so that it rested on Eve’s shoulder.

“Is this okay? I’m not hurting you?” Villanelle asked. Eve put her hand up to Villanelle’s and held it in place.

“No, it’s lovely. Are you okay? You seemed a little off earlier.” Eve had an idea of what was wrong, the question was just formalities, but she wanted to hear Villanelle say it, too. Villanelle had taught her the importance of complaining and Eve needed to hear her out. Villanelle’s grip seemed to tighten on Eve, although not unpleasantly.

“I know he was your husband, but I still really hate his name.” Villanelle confessed. The jealousy flattered Eve and she smiled, but Villanelle just buried her head into Eve’s shoulder. Eve stroked her hand.

“I have a habit of living in the past. And he was my life for over ten years, only stopped being my life about nine months ago, and only stopped being in my life about two weeks ago. I guess I tend to dwell on things a lot. I think a lot, down to every tiny detail and wonder how things could be changed. I suppose that was how I got the job at MI6, because of how I would take an idea and run with it until it was unbelievable.” Eve felt Villanelle’s head shift, and her chin was back on Eve’s shoulder.

“Who became your life after he did, then?” There was satisfaction in her voice. If Eve had the strength, she would have elbowed her.

“You know exactly who.”

“I know.” There was a pause between them before Villanelle started talking again.

“I never used to think about that stuff. I would always think about what sort of clothes I would buy with the money I would get or where my next job would take me. Then when I found out about you, I’d think about when I’d get to see you next. I’ve never thought about what if until I found out about my family. Then they turned out to be shit, but that way of thinking was stuck in my mind. When you got shot, I wouldn’t let go of you and when you got taken away from me, I threatened to go out and find the rest of them and shoot them. Konstantin bundled me into that room and said I needed to calm down and let you heal. While I was in that room, all I could think about was a scenario where you died, or if you were dying out right at that second and what we should have been doing and I absolutely hated it. Even now, when I’m on my own, that’s all I think about. The what if.”

Eve turned her head towards Villanelle, pressed a light kiss to her cheek and leant into her. They stayed like that for a few minutes, a spot of quiet in the rush of their lives. Eve was not sure what was going through Villanelle’s mind, but for her, Villanelle was the person who quietened her racing thoughts. She could enjoy the surroundings, the warmth of Villanelle’s cheek against her face, the smell of cheap soap and pollen and the background sounds of birds and people chatting.

“Focus on the when, not the what if. Let’s talk about that.” Eve suggested. She could feel Villanelle stir against her.

“What do you mean?”

“When we get to Romania, I can’t wait to find out what your favourite pastry is and bring you home one every day after work.” Eve looked up at Villanelle and watched her catch on, and the smile on her face was blinding.

“Alright. When we get to Romania, I can’t wait to see you in a cute apron. Preferably nothing else.” Villanelle grinned and Eve poked her in the cheek. 

“I was trying to make it a little more innocent.”

“Fine then. I can’t wait to gang up on Konstantin with you and Irina and tease him.”

“What else?”

“I can’t wait to cook for you. I can’t wait to go exploring with you. I can’t wait to put salt in Konstantin’s tea. I can’t wait to teach Irina how to pick a lock. I can’t wait to see these dumb chickens Konstantin wants to buy. I can’t wait to hold you properly. I can’t wait to spend my life with you.” Villanelle was giggling like an excited child, swaying as she said each of her ideas. Eve watched her, transfixed by her excitement and she thought back to her and Konstantin, in the chain restaurant back in Greenwich. She had told him she wanted to make Villanelle happy, and a week later, she had Villanelle dancing with optimism for the future. She nuzzled into Eve, loosening her grip on her shoulders and taking Eve’s hand in her face.

“I love you.” It just slipped out of Eve’s mouth. She was quite shocked when she realised what she said, but melted under Villanelle’s gaze.

“Say it again.”

“I love you?” Eve was confused. Had she not heard her the first time?

“Again.”

“I love you.”

“One more time.”

“You’ll have another forty years of me saying it to you. Be patient.” Eve scolded her with a grin. 

“Yes. We will.”

Eve felt arms around her once again. She took the view in one last time before making the suggestion to Villanelle that they should head back to the car since they had been gone more than twenty minutes. Villanelle nodded and unlocked the wheelchair, turning her around. As they reached the toilets again, Eve noticed an angry Konstantin marching over to them.

“Where have you been? You were meant to be five minutes.”

“Blame me, I wanted some air.” Eve cut in just as Villanelle was preparing a snappy remark. She watched Konstantin relax a little. He seemed to be less punishing when it came to Eve, maybe due to her condition or their colder relationship. He sighed and walked back to the car, gesturing for them to follow.

“Where are we, anyway?” Eve asked Villanelle. Villanelle just shrugged.

“Coming up to the German border.” Konstantin informed them. When they got back to the car, Villanelle and Konstantin lifted Eve into the back of the car and she listened to them talking as they put away her wheelchair.

“Are you going to pay off border control again?” Villanelle snapped at him.

“That’s all I can do.”

“That dirty money better not chase us. We finally have a shot at being normal.”

  
“I didn’t think normal was your thing. She’s made you soft. But no, the money will not chase us. I will make sure of it. It is a tiny, tiny village. Nobody stops by, but it means we are stuck there.”

“I’m okay with that. As long as we are safe.”

“I quite like this lovesick puppy Villanelle.”

“It’s not for you. It’s only for Eve” The boot slammed and Eve heard car doors open and the start of an engine before she fell asleep.


	17. Are you nervous about Poland?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was little else to do during a car trip except talk and sleep, but when Eve takes the map, she finds that she will soon have to confront the past again. Villanelle encourages her, reminding them of the funfair. Oh, and more Crocodile Rock.

Eve woke to moonbeams, stillness and gentle snoring coming from the passenger seat. She instinctively moved to sit up and found that although there was a slight pull of pain, she was stronger and was able to shift up against the car. She could see tufts of Villanelle’s bun poking through the gap between the chair and the door. The driver’s seat was open and she could hear the rustles of a bag.

“Konstantin?” Eve called out. She saw a pair of eyes peer around the chair and smile at her while chewing. He got up, closed the door and walked over to her side of the car, opening the door and sitting on the floor of the car like Villanelle had done earlier, to keep her company. He was eating chips from a styrofoam box and the smell was strangely appetising to Eve. Her stomach gurgled and she watched Konstantin take another, enviously. He saw her gaze and laughed, holding the box out to her.

“All you have to do is ask, Eve. Don’t be shy.” He nudged her leg with the box, prompting her to take some. She took a small handful and picked at them, hesitant to rush them and make herself ill again. The salty greasiness was perfect, comforting. It was bland and inoffensive and she was able to stomach them with ease. She took a few more, sneakily, although Konstantin ended up handing her the box and offering her a carton of juice.

“Thank you for the chips, but I’m fine with the water for now. I don’t want to push it too much.”

“You are welcome. I hope you’re feeling better now.”

“I am, thanks. Why did you stop driving?” Eve asked through a mouthful of chips. Konstantin had seemed determined to drive through the night before, even getting Villanelle to take over when he could not.

“It is three in the morning. It has been more than a day since I have slept and it was becoming dangerous. I will wait until sunrise and then Villanelle can take over. I think she should sleep, for now. We were all running on empty.” Konstantin explained. He was working his way through an iced bun now as Eve fiddled with the styrofoam box, picking off bits of the foam.

“Where did you two disappear off to, earlier?” He asked Eve.

“Just around the back of the public bathrooms. There was a patch of grass facing the hillside. I wanted the fresh air and she wanted to talk to me.” Eve left out the cuddling. Konstantin made it clear that their relationship was on a need to know basis, he appreciated Eve keeping Villanelle in check, but he did not want to know details.

“About what?”

“She didn’t like the fact that I spoke about Niko.”

“Yes, I got that impression when I asked you about the chickens. She likes to be the centre of attention. It can also be painful when the other speaks a lot about their ex lover, maybe.”

“It’s different when it’s a breakup compared to a death, though. I don’t know, we were over already pretty much, but it was still a lot to see him stabbed in front of me, and even harder to realise that he didn’t want me back and it was all a lie after all.” Eve looked down at her hands. There was a small tan line where her ring sat, she had not removed it properly for almost ten years. She rubbed it with her fingers but was overcome with an urge to touch the pendant at her neck, too. Konstantin was watching her, smirking.

“What?” Eve snapped at him.

“You have the same puppy dog eyes that she gets when she talks about you. That’s all.” Konstantin laughed, Eve rolled her eyes but a smile tugged at her lips, too.

“It’s very different from my past relationship. Niko was all I knew, and while I think he liked my spontaneity, it wore him down after a while. We were married within four months but I think if we had dated longer, we probably wouldn’t have gone the distance. Especially once I got my job at MI6, he was desperate to get silly pets and was always on about me to try for a baby. I humoured him, but I knew it was too late. I’m glad, in a way. I can’t imagine dragging a baby through this mess.”

“I wouldn’t recommend it.” Konstantin’s voice was solemn. He was speaking from experience.

“How is Irina?” Eve asked, gently. The last time she had seen her, she was running to her gravely injured father after being kidnapped by Villanelle. Konstantin would always grow serious when he mentioned her, recently.

“She is not getting along with her mother’s boyfriend. He’s fine, some oil tycoon crook, but I think she feels like she is being pushed aside, something about that she hated seeing people in love. With me in London too, it hasn’t helped. I cancelled her school fees and she sent me a voice message shouting at me, so I know she will be angry when she first comes with us. She is smart. I feel like I am dooming her to a life of nothing because of what I’ve done.”

There was a lot to dissect in what Konstantin said, and Eve did not have the energy to chastise him, so she offered him a sympathetic nod and a shared smile. All three of them had done awful, selfish things and in a way deserved each other, Eve thought. Irina was just caught up in the mess of their actions and would struggle to adjust. Eve understood her circumstance more than the other two, however. She was here because someone loved her enough to save her, and from what she could remember of the kid, Eve knew she would understand.

“So tone down the honeymoon flirting in front of her, then?” Eve was grinning. She still couldn’t wait for that part.

“I’d appreciate that. How is your injury?”

Eve’s hand wandered down to her hip. She held her hand over it, not touching it. She dropped her finger to graze the bandage lightly, but pulled it away quickly, not out of pain, but out of fear of pain.

“It’s fine. I need to change the bandage soon though. If Villanelle keeps fussing over me though I might have to tie her hands up.”

“She loves you a lot. I’ve never seen her like this before. Even when I first met her in the prison. She never spoke about Anna this way. I think both you and her were obsessions, but you somehow developed into love. I knew something would happen between you two when I set this up, but the change in her even surprised me. It’s almost quite nice.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. I suppose in another life I’d have run for the hills as soon as she shot me, but I just couldn’t tear myself away from her. I tried, but she would be all I thought about. As soon as I saw her on the bus, I thought I was dreaming at first, until the punch connected. Then she left me that stupid bear and I hung onto the sound of her voice, and here we are.”

“And then you hired out an entire ballroom just to tell her something everyone knew anyway…”

“I know, I was a bit dramatic.”

“I’m only teasing, Eve. It made it easier to catch up to you.”

_ Also made it easier for The Twelve to shoot me. _ Eve left that bit out. She wanted to heed the conversation she had with Villanelle to stop dwelling in the past, but taking a step back from the situation made Eve start laughing to herself. Konstantin pulled back to look at her with a truly baffled expression. He frowned at her.

“Just laughing at the fact we’re here at three in the morning talking about how much we love someone who has shot us both.” Eve said. Konstantin nodded and touched his chest.

“Do you regret it?” He asked her.

“Not at all. I had always wanted to break down her assassin persona, I just didn’t expect to find something so...lovely underneath it all. Everyone said she was unable to feel anything. I knew that was wrong, in a way, but I found someone who actually liked me for me, and didn’t want to change me, unlike my husband who said those sort of things and would dampen my spirit every time I got excited over something he didn’t like. I can’t blame him in a way because he wanted me to be safe, but at that time I think we were both bored, unloved and lonely and liked to show off to each other.”

“Not quite. She would have your wardrobe in the bin in a second. That was something she complained about a lot.”

“Okay, maybe one thing. What about you, do you regret it?” Eve asked him. Konstantin retracted into deep thought.

“I can’t say no, but I can’t say yes. I wish my wife and Irina were safe and they could stay where they were and that Irina had a better life. I am looking forward to the pastries and the quiet life, though. I still don’t think she will ever trust me, though.”

“Oh no, she doesn’t. I don’t think she trusts anyone and won’t for a while.”

“I thought so. Does she trust you?”

“I don’t know. I played with her a bit in the beginning because I wanted her to crack first, but I hope I can get the trust back. Although, I’m not sure I trust you either. Paying off all these security guards? How did you get the money?”

“Irina’s school fees.” Konstantin clasped his hands together and looked down at his knees. He truly did look like a desperate man.

“Expensive school. Is that why she’s pissed?”

“The oil tycoon crook decided to pay it. In some ways it saved me because she doesn’t know what’s going on yet, apart from the angry message she sent. It may be a different story tomorrow, though.”

“What is the plan for tomorrow, anyway?” Eve asked him. He had avoided her question in the car earlier with all of his talk of chickens and while getting to know Konstantin had been nice, she would be happy to deal with his familial drama when she came to it, not before. This was the last conversation about the past. She had vowed to move forwards.

“We still have a fair amount of Germany to clear. I will sleep for a few hours, so please wake me when we get near to the border. Then it will be through Poland and Belarus. The Belarus-Russian border may be a problem, though. It is illegal for non-nationals to cross it by car.”

“So that’s me being a dead weight again.”

“I considered leaving you two in Minsk for a couple of days while I went to get Irina. I don’t know how safe it would be, though.”

“I should be able to walk by then.”

“We will figure something out in the next day or so. The sun is rising, so we will have to move along soon. I think Villanelle would be happier if you woke her up.”

“I’m awake. You two were loud.” A gruff, husky tone came from Villanelle. She had clearly only just come to.

“I have some bread and jam here. Come and have breakfast and then you can drive. I am tired.”

“If you help me I’ll come and sit up the front with you and let Konstantin sleep in the back. I need some help with my bandages, though.”

Villanelle had got out of her chair quickly and took some bread and the jam jar. She started smearing jam onto the bread with her hand. Eve, bemused, put her head in her hands. She could only imagine what Konstantin looked like.

“You’re an animal. There is a knife in the glove compartment you can use. You better wipe down your hands before you take the steering wheel. I’m not touching that shit after you.” Konstantin scolded her. Villanelle just shoved the bread in her mouth and carried on talking, words almost unintelligible through her stuffed mouth.

“That knife is for defence.”

“Things have multiple uses, you know?”

“Whatever. Just go to sleep. Let Eve and I have some alone time.”

“I will still be in this car. I will not hesitate to put you in the boot.”

“Fine. I’ll be good.”

Villanelle stood by the open car door, finishing the bread while Konstantin offered her up a juice carton. She leaned against the car and Eve could see her properly now, her bun had all but fallen out and her dress was crumpled. She smiled at Eve with the straw in her mouth.

“Morning.” Eve said to Villanelle.

“How long have you been awake?”

“I don’t know, maybe an hour? How long was I out for?”

“At least ten hours. It’s understandable. She fell asleep a few hours after you” Konstantin spoke up, as if Villanelle was not there.

“Where are we?” Villanelle asked. Eve could see her looking around the area.

“Germany. It’s a stop for those who are travelling. Mainly where delivery drivers park up for the night. There are facilities across the road if you need.”

“I’ll help you with your bandages Eve. How are you feeling?”

“Good. It doesn’t hurt as much. Do you know how to change them?”

Villanelle did not need to say anything for Eve to regret her words, she just watched as Villanelle’s hand went to the left side of her waist. Eve swallowed, realising that Villanelle would have experienced something very similar to what Eve was feeling now. She kept her eyes on Villanelle as she rifled through the boot. Eve heard the clatter of the chair and the boot being closed and shuffled forward as she felt Villanelle’s hands on her to move her.

Getting in and out of the chair was easier than yesterday. Villanelle could move her on her own, and as Eve put her foot down in the cheap hotel slippers, walking for the first time, even just a couple of steps felt glorious. Villanelle had to grip onto her as she wobbled, but Eve wanted to put that down to the cheap slippers and their lack of grip. Once she was in the chair, she watched Villanelle lace up her own shoes and hand her the bag which she held onto on her knees.

“Is there anything like this that I can borrow again? Sorry, I just want to get out of this since I’ve been wearing it for almost a day.” Eve asked once they were in the bathrooms. Villanelle rummaged through her bag and pulled out a black maxi dress that was off the shoulder. Eve was thankful for Villanelle’s taste in summer dresses not being short and tight and smiled at Villanelle’s choice for her. Villanelle took a pair of gloves out of the medical kit given to them by the shady doctor and she changed Eve’s bandages and helped her into the dress. Villanelle picked the white shirt, pink short combo she wore on the first day they saw each other again and they both got ready for the day.

By the time they had gotten back to the car, Konstantin was almost asleep in his hands, leaning against the interior of the car. The sun was peeking over the horizon and Eve gave him a gentle tap on the shoulder. Konstantin groaned.

“Don’t scare me like that.” He snapped at them. Villanelle pulled a face and Eve laughed at it.

“We’re back. You can sleep now.” Eve told him.

“Wake me up before you reach the German border.”

They got Eve into the car, put away the bags and set off for the road again. Konstantin was asleep in minutes in the back and Villanelle turned up the radio to drown out his snoring. Her constant flicking through the radio was irritating to Eve.

“Can you pick a station?” Eve asked, slightly annoyed.

“I don’t like this sort of stuff.”

Eve wondered if they had kept her phone. It could have been thrown away as a precaution, but she flipped down the glove compartment to see. Inside were some old CDs, a lighter, a gun and an array of cash in different currencies. Eve took the CDs out and started sorting through them, reading the titles to Villanelle.

“Best of classics, Rod Stewart, Now one hundred and two, cheesy pop ballads, and oh! Elton John’s greatest hits.” Eve waved the cd in her hand. She could see Villanelle smile and hoped it was at the memory of the songs.

“I’m good for now. Maybe later.” Villanelle said, and Eve agreed. They had definitely played a bit too much Crocodile Rock in the past few days. Eve put in the classical music CD and turned it down so that it faded into the background. She leant her head against the window and watched the roads pass them, noticing a sign pointing the way to Berlin. It had been a while since she had come to Germany, it was the first time she had crossed paths with Villanelle. It had proved fatal in some ways, but she hoped that Bill would be smiling down on her and her newfound love for girls. He was never a fan of Niko, anyway. She could hear his voice encouraging her if she closed her eyes.

“What are you thinking about?” Villanelle asked.

“Bill. He loved Germany.”

“I’m sorry.” Villanelle sounded quiet, she was gripping the steering wheel tighter than necessary.

“He’d understand, he knew he was being reckless, anyway. Besides, he was always encouraging me to run away with a girl, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“Did he? Why?” Villanelle sounded surprised.

“He’d always ask me if I was into girls, and I would say no. There would definitely be a side-eye from him every time I said that though, I don’t think he believed me. I guess he was right not to.” Eve swayed her head towards Villanelle, a dreamy, nostalgic smile on her face.

Villanelle shrieked with laughter. It made Eve jump and she heard Konstantin groan and kick Villanelle’s chair before he rolled over, pulled the blankets over him and went back to sleep.

“What’s funny?”

“I have to agree with him. So I’m your first?”

“Yes. Although even when I started falling for you, there were many things I questioned, but not the fact you were a woman. So I don’t think it’s ever been important to me before, even after I met you.”

“It feels different this time. I enjoyed the chase, but the feeling of actually having that person meet you with the same feelings is nothing I have ever experienced before. That was why I was so quiet in the ballroom. I couldn’t understand why someone would do something so nice for me.” Villanelle was keeping her eyes on the road, but Eve noticed she looked sad. She knew it was not about the ballroom, but maybe the past haunted Villanelle as much as it haunted Eve, too. She wanted to reach out to hold her hand, but she knew better than to distract Villanelle.

“You said you wanted me to teach you how to dance.”

“I guess I expected at three in the morning in the hotel, not enjoying a fancy ballroom with the two of us. Knowing that you love me as much as I love you is the main thing that matters. Although that definitely doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy the ballroom. I know what happened was awful, but I loved every moment before...you know.” Villanelle looked over at Eve and she watched Villanelle’s eyes drop to her waist for a split second before she looked back at the road. It was only the second day on a long road to recovery, but Eve hated how it overshadowed what should have been a beautiful memory.

“We can do it again, one day, as well as dancing around the bedroom at three in the morning. And do you know that I love you as much as you love me?” Eve asked Villanelle. 

“Maybe, but I don’t know if you know just exactly how much I love you.”

“I think you’re the only one who does.” Eve laughed again, although it was sarcastic. There was no one left for her, but in a way, she did not regret a thing.

“Good. Keep it that way.” Villanelle’s response solidified Eve’s lack of regret. There was a pause between them, only broken by the steady, loud snoring of Konstantin in the back. Eve smirked at it and Villanelle just rolled her eyes.

“He’s very annoying to sleep with.” Villanelle said. Eve leaned forward in surprise but was met with resistance from her stomach and was pulled back down, groaning.

“You’ve slept with him?” Eve asked, her mouth open with shock. She had always seen the pair of them as more of a familial bond rather than something else, but she also knew that Villanelle had mentioned something like that in the cafe where they came face to face with Irina.

“Not like that. We’ve shared the same room a few times. He looked after me once after I got sick in Amsterdam.” Villanelle explained. Eve thought back to the conversation that Konstantin and her shared in the cafe before this trip began. He had mentioned babysitting Villanelle through a bad trip after she was upset that Eve did not come to see her murder. Eve looked over at her and wondered if that was what she meant, but she thought it better not to ask.

“Eve.” Villanelle started.

“Yes, Villanelle?”

“Do you think anybody would notice we are gone?”

“Maybe. I don’t think anybody in my life would care that I was gone, though. Niko’s family will be happy because it means they get the house and all of his stuff without me to fight it. I don’t really talk to those at MI6 anymore and I’m sure my landlord will be able to let out my flat once he’s cleaned it up a bit. He can have my security deposit.”

“That was another thing I wanted to ask.” Villanelle’s expression was deadpan and disgusted. Eve wondered what she had done wrong.

“What?”

“Your flat was disgusting when I came to drop off a gift for you. Are you really that messy, all the time? All there was were wine bottles and old magazines and toilet paper lying around. I wanted to clean it up for you, but I knew you would be back too quickly and I wouldn’t be able to get away.”

Eve burst out laughing, her amusement overpowering the pang of pain in her stomach. Villanelle looked truly confused and repulsed and Eve thought back to the flat that she had lived in for the past six months. She had moved there straight from the hospital, alone. Niko had refused to see her and she had no other friends at the time. Eve knew she was a person who left a trail of clutter whenever she found herself deep into a project, but the mess of her flat was representative of a woman who had given up. To use the euphemism Konstantin enjoyed so much, Eve had not been in a good way.

“No. I guess I leave a lot of paper around and sometimes forget to put my makeup wipes in the bin, but I struggled to take care of myself for the first month or so that I was living there. I was treating my own wounds, mixing painkillers with wine and was so out of it that I didn’t even realise. I guess it just spiralled from there, but I was just trying to piece together what remnants of my life that I had left. A bit of spring cleaning when I could barely get out of bed sunk down the list of priorities and by the time I had gotten better, it just got too overwhelming to deal with.” Eve explained. She had noticed that Villanelle had pulled over at some point and was now looking at her intently, with teary eyes that made Eve feel immensely guilty.

“I’m sorry I ruined your life.” Villanelle sniffed and bit her lip, looking up at the roof of the car. It was as if she was holding back her emotions. Eve reached her hand out to take Villanelle’s face in it, leaning her head towards her and guiding her closer to Eve. She kissed her gently and when they pulled away, she used her hands to wipe away anything that had escaped from Villanelle’s eyes.

“Villanelle, darling, I’ve never felt more alive.” Eve never said the word ‘darling’, unless she was playing a role or trying to seduce someone. She cringed at the unusual word that had slipped out of her mouth, but the wide grin that tugged at Villanelle’s lips was completely worth it.

“Besides, if I feel ill again, I know you will help me keep the place spic and span and look after me, and I will do the same for you.” Eve continued.

“Of course I would! Sorry. I just had a little slip.”

Eve checked the GPS device Konstantin had attached to the dashboard. She scrolled through the journey, they had about two hours left to cover in Germany before moving onto Poland. She swallowed, hard. Poland was Niko’s final resting place and the GPS showed that they would drive on the highway that ran through Niko’s home village. She dragged her finger down the map, closing her eyes, remembering the last confused smile he had given her before Dasha took him away. Villanelle was watching her, and she quickly moved the map back to the route through Germany.

“We have about two hours of distance to cover before we wake up Konstantin. I think we should stop in Berlin for food and amenities.” Eve spoke, plotting out markers on the GPS on where she thought they should stop. Her hand was shaking, however.

“Are you nervous about Poland?” Villanelle did not beat about the bush, so Eve would not, either.

“Yes. I think we will be driving past his old village.”

“We could make a stop.” Villanelle suggested.

“No. His parents wouldn’t hesitate to shoot me on sight.” Eve spoke, and then clasped a hand to her mouth as Villanelle glared at her.  _ Poor choice of words there, Eve. _

“Does he have a grave? Maybe you should say goodbye. I can apologise for Gemma.”

Eve nodded, but she turned away from Villanelle. He did have a grave, his funeral was in his hometown but his family and the residents made it very, very clear that her and the danger she brought with her was not welcome. Turning up with the assassin and handler responsible for this mess in lieu in a wheelchair because of a failed shooting seemed disrespectful, in a way. She could hear Niko telling her no when she closed her eyes and knew that if the afterlife bollocks she was fed during Sunday school was true, he would be looking down at her with sheer horror at the suggestion. Eve exhaled and it came out unsteady. Villanelle took her hand.

“You babysat me while I grieved for my family. You stopped me doing reckless things. Now it is my turn to repay the favour.” Villanelle was looking straight into her eyes. Eve turned her head away from her. They were back in the hotel again, but this time, Eve was the one panicking.

“What did I do? I just took you to a funfair. Hardly groundbreaking.” Eve felt a hand against her cheek, turning her head back to Villanelle. She let it guide her and the pair locked eyes again. She searched Villanelle’s face for a reaction, but just found devotion. Maybe a little offence at Eve downplaying the trip, but they both knew that was just Eve hiding again.

“No. We both know it was more than that. You taught me that family isn’t just who birthed you. You taught me that family was who accepts you. The people in this car are my family, along with a shitty, bratty teenager if she accepts us. They were just strangers who I placed too much hope on to rescue me from the danger.” There was a pause between them, Eve trying to comprehend Villanelle’s words, to pick them apart like she would normally. Her mind was fuzzy and Villanelle ran her fingers through Eve’s hair.

“Although don’t misinterpret it. You and him are not the same type of family. You would be the only person I want to have sex with.” Villanelle’s grin was evil, but so amazing and brought out the same reaction from Eve. She pulled away from Villanelle and pushed her into the door. Villanelle never let a moment get too intense for Eve and even though her cheeks were burning, Eve could see the sweet sentiment behind the joke.

“Villanelle!” She hid her face in her hands while Villanelle just laughed and started the car again. They turned back onto the road and followed the steady flow of traffic.

“You have to say goodbye to him, though.” Villanelle piped up again after a little while.

“I had the funeral for that.” Eve lied.

“You didn’t go.”

“How do you kn-...oh.” Eve looked back at Konstantin. She was out for ten hours last night, there was no way the two of them had not shared a conversation about Eve and everything that had elapsed in the past week.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I guess Konstantin and I spoke about you too.”

“Yes. I’d quite like you to tie my hands up sometime, but I think I’d prefer it the other way around.”

Eve didn’t say anything, but shot a glare at Villanelle. If looks could kill, she could imagine hers was pretty close to something like that.

“Okay. Okay, fine. We’ll do it.” Eve emphasised the ‘we.’ There was no way she would be able to do this on her own, physically or mentally. She thought of her ring that sat alongside Villanelle’s in her bag. Maybe if she threw the ring into Niko’s grave, Villanelle would throw hers away. She had suggested they sold them previously, but right now, any memory of the past burned to carry around for the pair of them.

“Put the Elton John CD in.” Villanelle said. Eve plucked it from the case and put it in and watched as Villanelle fiddled with the radio. The piano-synth played and Eve rolled her eyes again.

“You know, we’re going to get sick of this song.”

“Shush! I have an idea.” Villanelle turned the radio down and let the song play, the both of them in silence. Whenever Eve tried to speak, Villanelle would just hold up her finger to silence her. They were approaching the part of the song they both liked to sing along to, the one bit of the lyrics they were first able to sing along to. Eve closed her eyes, it always brought back fond, romantic memories. She felt a small shove on her shoulder and looked at Villanelle. She was counting down with her fingers.

‘Loudly.’ She mouthed at Eve. Eve looked back at Konstantin.  _ Oh. _

The two of them broke out into song. Konstantin yelled, jerking up and continuing to yell, screaming in some way. Villanelle smiled, Eve laughed to the point of tears. She was wiping at her face while Villanelle turned the music down and the both of them, like naughty children, were being lectured.

“Don’t do that! Do not do that! It’s bad for my heart, do you realise what would happen if I had a heart attack? You two would be on your own, and you would be fucked. Now, tell me, why have you woken me up! We are only in Berlin.” Konstantin said, his face almost red with anger. Eve shrugged her shoulders apologetically.

“There’s a really nice coffee shop I know. I thought you could treat us. Besides, technically Berlin is only an hour and a bit away from the border.” Villanelle suggested. Eve had to agree with her, an iced latte right now sounded great, if she could handle it. She had survived the dubious chips.

“You two are children and I regret bringing you along with me.” Konstantin said, but him and Eve shared a smile while Villanelle drove.


	18. You can't stop. Please.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little heated, in more ways than one.
> 
> A/N: Hello! So this chapter is two parts instead of one so that I don't break 10k+ words per chapter. I wanted to also put a note in to say that I have never been to Poland, and on my research, Niko's actual village was shot near Bucharest, along with Villanelle's hometown. I researched farming villages and this one caught my eye because of the beauty of the fields it was famous for. I apologise to any of the Polish readers for any potential inaccuracies and vagueness about this, as while I wanted to focus in on location since it's SO important to Killing Eve, this one...was tricky...
> 
> Thanks!

Poland felt like the waiting room of a dentist’s, for Eve. They had stopped in Berlin for a meal and Eve shared sips of Villanelle’s iced coffee while she managed to eat half of a smoothie bowl, but she had retreated into herself at Villanelle’s pushy suggestion. Villanelle and Konstantin were chatty, talking about everything from food, to their new jobs, to do-it-yourself projects they were considering for their little house. Eve listened along, spooned a little of the smoothie into her mouth or dragged her spoon across the bowl and laughed when the two of them argued, but nothing was registering. It felt as if she was watching them on television rather than taking an active role.

They brushed their teeth and washed their faces in the cafe bathroom and Eve watched Villanelle braid her hair and tie it into a bun. She was always amazed by the precision her hair was styled in, only usually managing a messy bun of her own. Villanelle’s focus was in the mirror, and their eyes met once she had noticed that Eve was staring at her. She quickly darted her eyes away, reading the signs on the wall about how the alarms worked. Villanelle turned around and leant against the sink.

“Eve.”

“Yes?” Eve looked back at Villanelle, her face was sympathetic. She was done with talking for this trip, they had done nothing but talk for the last few hours. She needed a break, some alone time to come to terms with what she was approaching. Villanelle could read her easily, Eve already knew that Villanelle could see she was scared, she was hurt and unsettled. Throughout the trip, the focus had been on Villanelle. Everything was planned with Villanelle in mind, and although Villanelle had broken down a few layers of Eve’s guard, the spotlight was shining on her now, bright and unforgiving, blurring her view. Or maybe, that was from the tears that had welled up in her eyes. She blinked them away harshly, and Villanelle just sighed and placed some tissue in her lap.

“I just wish I had space to think.” Eve confessed, taking the tissue up to her eyes and dabbing. Villanelle walked behind Eve and untied her hair, brushing her fingers through the locks that were now becoming oily. They hung slightly limper than usual by her face and Villanelle pulled them back into a high ponytail, reaching into her pocket and clipping on a barrette with black and white flowers at the base.

“Where did you get that?” Eve asked, touching it with her fingers. It was cheap, but caught the light and shined. It looked lovely, but along with the black dress she wore, she truly did look like a mourning widow.

“Remember the pile of cheap accessories I bought from the charity shops in that little village with the funfair? I held onto them, I thought it would be nice.” Villanelle scrunched up the end of Eve’s ponytail to fluff it up a little.

“I definitely look like I’m mourning, don’t I?” Eve chuckled, but it was sarcastic. She wanted to rip it off and find another way to Russia without Poland, but she knew that this was not just for her. It was for Villanelle, too.

“We can change your outfit, if you want. I can get the ba-” Villanelle offered, still fiddling with Eve’s hair, but Eve pulled away and shook her head. She was tired of being fussed over, coddled like a scared child. She wanted to just get it over with, and the longer they spent dawdling in a restaurant bathroom, the more anxious anticipation began to build in Eve’s stomach.

Konstantin did little to help the situation. Once they had gotten back to the car, he excused himself for a while, saying he was going to pick up some essentials. Eve had been helped into the back again, but was able to sit upright now. Villanelle looked at the seat next to Eve but chose the driver’s seat again, fiddling with the radio to break the silence. Eve took the opportunity to try lifting a leg up, but it was painful. She winced, and Villanelle turned to her.

“Do you need help?” She asked. Eve nodded, and Villanelle came to her aid. Once she was in, she pulled the blanket up to her chest.

“Are you cold?” Villanelle asked. Eve shook her head. Silence shrouded the car again. Villanelle hopped out of the car and opened the boot, seemingly going through the bags. Eve glanced up and watched her as she pulled out the denim jumpsuit she had arrived in from the airport. Eve assumed Villanelle had thrown it away, but she was digging through the pockets, looking for something. She pulled out something that had wired headphones attached to it and opened Eve’s door, handing her a small device. It was pink and could fit into the palm of her hand easily. Eve noticed the apple logo and the small clip on the back of it. She flipped it between her fingers, admiring it. 

“God, I haven’t seen these tiny iPods in years. Does it still work?”

“Yes. I liked it for travelling. I could clip it into my jacket and nobody would see and it also didn’t need the internet to work. I don’t know if you’ll like what’s on there, it’s mainly a lot of non-lyrical songs, but I thought it would be good if you wanted some time to yourself.”

Eve smiled, tracing the circle with her thumb. She knew how personal music was to someone and often knew how sharing songs was the equivalent to reading someone’s diary. Eve realised it had been tucked into the denim jumpsuit she had worn from Russia, so it had to be Villanelle’s lifeline once she had ended things with her family. The thing that kept her calm on the ride home. She turned her head to Villanelle with a grateful smile.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I hope it helps.”

“Will you sit with me until Konstantin comes back, at least?” Eve asked, although it came out as if she were begging.

“I just put your legs up. But, if you insist, it would be rude to say no.”

Villanelle closed Eve’s door and came around to the other side. She opened the door, gently lifted Eve’s legs up and popped them on her lap once she had sat down, resting her arms lightly on them. Eve just gazed at her, while Villanelle’s eyes seemed to drift between her and what was out of the window. The silence was expectant, waiting for someone to break it.

“I feel like I’ve run out of things to talk about.” Eve spoke first. Villanelle looked over at her, resting her head in her hand, leaning against the door.

“Oh?”

“I don’t know, I feel like I’m just exhausted, like I’m not really here in a way. I just have no energy to do anything. I don’t really feel anything.” Eve tried to explain, but she just laughed at herself. It sounded pathetic by any means that she just felt like she was lost, but Villanelle was moving her legs down and leaning towards her. Eve felt her breath catch and her heart beat faster. Maybe it was a little presumptuous that she felt absolutely nothing being next to Villanelle.

“You got shot just over a day ago, Eve. I feel like you are being too hard on yourself.”

“It’s the time thing that’s really fucking me up, I think. I just feel like everything that happened was so long ago, and that getting to Romania is so long away. Like we’re in this weird gap between the past and the future.”

“You mean the present?” Eve shot Villanelle a look. Villanelle grinned.

  
“Don’t be a smartass. You know what I mean. It just feels like we aren’t moving.”

“You said this morning that you had never felt more alive. You even called me darling.” Villanelle looked confused. Had Eve really bounced from opposite moods so quickly?

“You make me feel alive. This makes me feel like my life is on hold. I want to be there already. In a little house with you and Konstantin, waking up to our limbs tangled together, you and him bickering over breakfast, silly chickens and other pets that Irina wants. Coming home from the bakery with arms of unsold pastries for everyone, helping Irina with her homework. Watching something shit on TV or reading a book with my head on your shoulder. A bath together and then lying in bed talking to each other about anything until one of us falls asleep. This makes me feel like a prisoner. I can’t move, I can’t have any space to myself. I can’t even use the toilet by myself which is probably one of the most mortifying things there is, and I feel like every single stop we make, we are just delaying our happiness.” Eve explained, passionate hand gestures and all. Villanelle moved to sit next to her, pulling Eve’s head onto her shoulder and taking her hand.

“Is this you telling me you don’t want to see where Niko rests?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know. Why do you want me to?”

“You never got to say goodbye. When I spoke to my brother in that bus station, we both agreed that we never saw eye to eye about my mother’s death and it became like a goodbye for us. He also said that was why he could not forgive me. He understood that mama did some things that were not good, but it was the fact that I took them from her so surprisingly. That was why I did not want you to come over. He was saying similar, well, the same things to me that my mother did. I didn’t belong. Normal people hold onto bullshit morals.”

Eve said nothing. She remembered the bus station, singing with Villanelle’s younger brother, sharing sweets and stories about how they loved Villanelle despite her flaws while Villanelle had been across the station, being told that she could not be loved because of her flaws. There was still that little, sarcastic voice in her mind reminding her that her flaws were murderous, but normality had sailed out of the window long ago, and as she reminded herself, she was not without the label of a murderer, herself and would not be alive if Villanelle had not murdered for her several times over.

“That applies to you, too.” Villanelle said. Eve, who had been looking past Villanelle, stared at her again, confused.

“What?”

“You. I know you think I don’t think normally, but I can see what you think. I can see how held back you are because of him, even now. You will bother yourself over the fact that you want to love me but that he will hate it and you owe it to him because you blame yourself over the reason he is dead. You will then shake it out of your mind, tell yourself that he is gone, usually we have had an argument or something and then you decide to make it up to me. You get passionate and it is lovely, but I want that without the guilt behind it. I would even give up the passion to have a you that is not racked with guilt over your decisions. You don’t wear the wedding ring, but it is like you are still married to him.”

Eve’s eyes flicked down to her hand, where the wedding ring once sat. There was still a small mark there, her hand slightly lighter where the band had been, but her hand went to her neck and where the pendant sat, unconsciously. Villanelle was watching her every move, unbearably close, almost leaning over her and Eve was staring back, too. She was racked with guilt in a different way, now. Eve had thought the ballroom, the chatter about the future was enough to show her devotion, in a way, and that she had managed to conceal her thoughts about Niko fairly well enough. Villanelle had read and seen through every casual smile and piece of small talk and Eve realised she felt rejected, that Eve could not talk to her about it. Was that why she wanted her to see Niko? To finally put everything at rest and to talk to him, in a way? She could not imagine talking to a grave. Kenny had told her to talk to Bill once he had left them and her hands had hovered over her phone to send Kenny a text once he had gone, but she had never done it.

“Don’t you consider your past, too?” She asked Villanelle. Villanelle just shook her head.

  
“I have nothing in my past worthwhile to consider. I did for a while, when I was in Barcelona. Whenever I was with anyone, all I could think about was you. Then, Konstantin showed up to my address and told me you were alive and all I knew was that I had to find you again.”

Eve wanted to hug Villanelle, she felt an overwhelming tightness in her chest that she could not pinpoint. Was it love? Guilt? Compassion? She moved her hand so that it was on Villanelle’s hand.

“Do you regret shooting me?” It was a ridiculous question, but it fell out of Eve’s mouth without a second thought. She watched Villanelle look away, in thought and squeezed her hand as reassurance, as if she was telling her that she would still be here, irregardless of her answer.

“Honestly? I don’t know. If I had never shot you and you had never stabbed me, we wouldn’t be here. But at the same time, the thought that I could have killed the one person that accepted me eats at my mind all the time and every time I see that scar I want to take it away.”

Eve’s breath caught in her throat. She felt the similar pang of regret whenever she caught a flash of Villanelle’s scar. The silence between them was heavy, although the pair of them never broke eye contact. Eve found the pressure dizzying and went to lean forward to comfort Villanelle, but a warning stab of pain flared and she winced. Villanelle slipped Eve’s legs off her gently and moved to meet her, putting an arm around her and lowering her against the side of the car. Eve watched her, mouth parted as Villanelle all but crawled over her and took her face in her hands. Her eyes moved down to Villanelle’s lips for a fraction of a second, but Villanelle had seen her. She giggled and leaned in to kiss Eve.

The tension dissipated from Eve as their lips connected and she sighed into Villanelle’s mouth. Her arms went to Villanelle’s waist initially, but she ran her hands up Villanelle back and up to her head, one arm around her shoulders and the other resting on the back of Villanelle’s head. She felt teeth against her bottom lip and fingers traced her jawline and neck and tilted her head as she whimpered into Villanelle. The wandering hand was at her shoulder now, slipping the dress off one of her arms and as she felt the cool air hit her exposed chest, Eve’s lack of bra was becoming very apparent to her. It surprised Villanelle too, who broke their intense kiss and sprung back in surprise, looking down at Eve’s chest.

“What?” Eve asked, flustered. She wanted to add that she was quite enjoying what was happening between them, it was the first time since her injury that Villanelle had stopped treating her like some sort of dainty china doll.

“No, I just forgot…”

“You can’t stop. Please.” She wanted it to sound assertive, but her shallow breaths and dilated pupils gave her away and there was no hiding the begging behind the ‘please’ that slipped out after her demand.

“I just don’t think in the back of a car is a good idea for-”

“No. I know. I’m not asking for everything, I just want a bit more. Please.”

“It’s hard to deny you, Eve.”

“Then don’t.”

Villanelle’s lips clashed with Eve’s again, it was clumsy and passionate and messy, and her wandering hand found its way to Eve’s exposed breast, cupping it, her thumb lightly swiping over the most tender spots. Eve knew that the back of the car was not very romantic, and the dull ache of her injury was becoming more intense, too, but with the heightened state she was in, frankly, she did not care if it did happen that way. She managed to fight a moan, with a quiet whimper escaping instead but she arched up into Villanelle to relieve some of the pressure building in between her legs. She felt a stab jolt her, the pain running from her waist to her chest, but she managed to hide it as a moan, although not all of the sensations behind it were purely discomfort.

She felt Villanelle’s hand drop from her chest, light fingers dancing their way down her body, carefully avoiding her hip. Villanelle’s hand settled at Eve’s thigh, stroking there, but the sensation was both too much and too little for Eve, who pushed her thighs together, forcing Villanelle’s hand to remain there, trapped. The two of them broke apart again, Eve’s face wild, Villanelle’s face more composed, with an evil smirk that concealed just how into it she was. Her hand pressed between Eve’s legs and Eve put a hand to her own mouth, trying to stifle the cry that came out.

The sound of the car door opening and a strained clearing of the throat made the two of them pull apart, Villanelle quickly removing her hand and turning to face the interrupter, unintentionally leaving Eve exposed. Konstantin stood there with an awkward smile on his face that dropped once he could see how Eve’s dress had slipped. He turned away, leaving the two of them to arrange themselves. Villanelle helped Eve back into her dress, her legs onto the seat properly again and climbed out of the car to stand next to Konstantin.

“You two will be in a hotel in Minsk tomorrow, day after tomorrow at the latest. Can you not wait?” He lectured them, pushing a phone into Villanelle’s chest. She looked at it as Konstantin leaned in and put a phone for Eve on the seat next to her and closed the door. She could hear muffled speaking between the two of them as they got into the car and prepared to set off.

“Sorry that Konstantin saw your boob.” Villanelle turned to Eve and apologised, although Eve could see the look of guilt on her face was more annoyance that Konstantin had seen her and interrupted them, rather than actually caring about Eve’s embarrassment. She waved her off, reaching for the phone.

“I don’t really care, either way. I guess we’re even now, Eve.” Konstantin laughed. Both Eve and Villanelle were confused. He picked up on their expressions.

“Oh, you don’t remember? Never mind then, forget I said anything.”   
  


Except that Eve did remember the time she had held a gun to a Konstantin who was relieving himself and did not look away quick enough to avoid a flash of something she did not want to see. She grimaced at the memory.

“No, I do, I just didn’t want to. I’d blanked the memory from my mind.”

“What memory? Tell me.” Villanelle demanded, back into her sulky child persona. Eve left the room open for Konstantin to talk, but he just laughed. Villanelle became impatient and repeated her question.

“I saw Konstantin’s...thing. When you had run off with Irina, he was drinking and had to stop to relieve himself and I pulled the gun on him without thinking.” Eve explained. Villanelle burst out laughing, but not for the reason they both thought.

“You can’t just say penis, Eve?”

“It’s not really a memory I want to recall.”

“How big was it?”

“I am here, you know.” Konstantin interjected. Eve was grateful and feigned distraction by playing with the iPod that Villanelle had let her borrow.

“So where are we going to next? Where is the town you would like to go to, Eve?” Konstantin asked, fiddling with the GPS.

“Kokoszkowy. It’s a little farming village in the north, I think.” Eve was staring out of the window. Even through Villanelle’s comforting and convincing, it still felt like she was waiting at the dentists for a tooth to be pulled. She managed to put her legs up, close to her chest as she pulled the blankets back over her, for comfort.

“It’s a little too north, I don’t know.” Konstantin said. She looked over at the GPS, but the screen was concealed by Villanelle’s fingers pointing out routes.

“Can we not just enter Belarus from there?” Villanelle was circling a small point on the map too far for Eve to see. Konstantin shook his head.

“We’d have to drive down a little, but we can do it. In some ways it might be better as we do avoid some of the bigger cities. We would have driven through Warsaw if we had gone straight through. It might add some more time onto our trip, though.”

“That’s fine.” Villanelle said. Eve just put in the headphones and began to pick through the songs on Villanelle’s iPod. She knew this was a battle she could not win.

Villanelle’s taste in music was diverse, with a few surprises here and there. She noticed mainly classical music, dreamy lyricless numbers that were designed to calm and help sleep, but there was the occasional piece of uplifting music. The iPod was old, without a screen so Eve could imagine this was something made specifically to carry music to calm Villanelle down. What she did not expect were the few songs with lyrics to be specifically about love and validation. She recognised a couple of songs, the same musician who she had picked for their ballroom dance. Maybe a question for later. She closed her eyes and listened to the music, ignoring when she felt the car inevitably stop for Konstantin to sort out the issue of crossing the border.

She felt someone shake her arm and opened her eyes. It was Villanelle, her hand gently lifting to pull out the earphones. Eve looked up at her and saw Konstantin in a heated discussion with a man, another woman approaching.

“What’s going on? Konstantin run out of his magic pot of money?” Eve laughed. Villanelle shook her head.

“No. I don’t know what is going on. He always gets into arguments with the police. Oh, look, they seem to be coming over.” Villanelle said as Eve looked up and through the window at the front. Konstantin was being marched back to the car alongside two police officers. Eve swallowed, hard and resisted the urge to put the earphones back in.

“Evelyn Park and Eleanor Vorontsova?” One of the police officers had opened the driver’s door and asked them. Eve rolled her eyes at the basic names Konstantin had chosen for them, but was grateful that she could easily pick herself out of the two. They both nodded and shared a glance and she could tell that Villanelle shared the same disdain for their names.

“Is everything fine?” The officer asked next. Both of them nodded, confused. The officer’s eyes went from Villanelle to Eve, who was wrapped up in blankets. She frowned and Eve chimed up before the officer could even question them.

“I’m not good with travel and I injured myself on a fence a week ago. I insisted on coming along to Poland though, I want to see my friends and I want to say goodbye to one of them.” Eve snapped a little, risky but it worked. The officer joined Konstantin, they had a brief discussion before he was let back into the car and waved through. What Eve did not expect was Villanelle’s reaction. She had expected her to find Konstantin’s incompetence funny. What she heard was Villanelle yelling at him over the music, word-for word, albeit slightly muffled. She took out the earphones she had put back in once they had gone through.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Eleanor and Evelyn? You might as well have called us by our actual names for how close it is. You really need to be careful, Konstantin. This is your mess and you’re risking all of us.”

“This is your mess! You were meant to go there to see how shit they were and that you did not need them. You don’t kill your own family, especially by blowing up their house in a tiny town and leaving two of them alive to tell the tale.” Konstantin was shouting back and Eve’s eyes darted to the road, anxiously. She knew from first-hand experience; driving while in a heated state always left more room for mistakes. Eve kept her eyes fixated on the road almost for Konstantin as she noticed the car was a little more unsteady.

“They didn’t deserve it. She did, the rest of them did.” Villanelle was quiet, Eve noticed her foot move up onto the chair, knees up. Her typical anxious position. The two of them were beginning to notice each other’s quirks and in some ways, Eve would mirror her. Villanelle glanced behind her, at Eve, and she gave her a small, reassuring smile. Villanelle copied it and turned around.

“Yes, of course they deserved it, but you don’t do that to family even if they do deserve it.”

“That’s enough. You need to focus on the road and you both need to stop dwelling on things that have already happened. Take some of your own advice instead of just telling me to do it all the time.” Eve cut in, louder than usual but not quite a shout. Some of her anxiety had turned into irritability but she had gotten sick of the hypocrisy that ran through Konstantin a lot of the time. He could be kind if it benefitted him, but Eve’s very tiny amount of trust in him regularly evaporated with one self-centred comment or gesture. She was also defending Villanelle in a way. She still was not ready to talk about it, and Eve had said to herself in the hotel room in Blackheath, with Villanelle panicking in her arms that she would not force it from her and that extended to protecting her from other people who would try, too.

It was another four or so hours until they reached Niko’s hometown. Apart from the radio buzzing in and out of signal and the general sounds of traffic, the car was dead silent. Judging by her breathing, Villanelle was in and out of sleep while Eve listened to the music until the battery ran down, and then spent the time gazing thoughtlessly out of the window. When she saw the familiar bloom of yellow crops over the horizon, her breath caught. She had only been here twice, once to announce her marriage to Niko and to meet his mother - his father had travelled to the UK before and told Niko of his disapproval - and the second time, only two and a half weeks ago to watch him get pierced through the neck.

The unfortunate scene played out in her mind again and her hand flew to her mouth. Niko’s cautious, polite smile, Her waving, him looking confused and then him groaning and falling to the floor, his blood splattered on the barn door. She could not even react to the last person connected to her old life falling on the floor, and merely fell down with him, her eyes wide, her mind dead. They were found by someone who had seen Niko on the floor and a blanket had been cast over Eve as they helped her find local authorities. Niko’s father had also come over after he had been fetched - it was a small town, the population was smaller than most people’s facebook friend count, so everybody knew everyone - and while Eve shook into the blanket, he shouted at her for not finding help as she saw it happen. She could only look at him, it took many hours before she could even talk again.

Later, she had been informed they had also found remains of an old lady in a pig’s barn. Eve knew this was The Twelve, that it was her fault, and that was what gave her the last burst to swipe the note from the police evidence because she knew that a rundown village police squad would do nothing to help them at all. However, even now, she was never sure of her motive. She told herself it was to avenge her husband and to put them in their early grave, but she knew that a part of her also wanted to prove that it was not Villanelle. Eve had just kissed her on a bus at that point and she did not want to consider the idea that it was revenge.

“Eve, are you alright? Do you need me to stop the car?”   
  


Eve caught her reflection in the mirror. Hand clasped to mouth, another on her chest, tears rolling down her cheeks that she had barely noticed. She could also see Konstantin’s concerned eyes, flicking between her and the road. She shook her head and took her hand away from her mouth, wiping her eyes.

“No. I’m fine. Unfortunate memory.”

She could see the little church now, extensively decorated inside, but outside had just a selection of shallow graves and a low brick wall that trailed around the exterior. Eve watched as the car drove closer and closer, but frowned as they were pulled into a little side street. Villanelle was still asleep, but Konstantin nudged her awake. She groaned, stretched out her arms, with Konstantin ducking out of the way to avoid being knocked by them.

“What?” Villanelle asked, her voice still heavy with sleep.

“I am taking Eve somewhere. You watch the car. Don’t fall asleep.”

“Where are you taking me?” Eve demanded. Her trust in Konstantin at the moment was lost and she had visions of being dumped down the back of a village side street.

“You’ll see when we get there.”

“No. I want to know.”

Konstantin sighed and walked to the back of the car. Eve shook her head.

“No. No wheelchair. I can walk, I just need a bit of support.”

“Are you sure?”

  
“I’ve just got a bit of tissue damage from a stray bullet, I haven’t lost a leg. I can hold onto you. Get my shoes and let me walk.” Eve snapped at Konstantin. He put the wheelchair back in, shaking the car, and took out Eve’s Chelsea boots instead, as she opened the door. Villanelle went to get out of the car, but Eve stopped her.

“I know you mean well, but I can do it myself, Villanelle. Focus on waking up so you don’t fall back to sleep.” Eve softened her voice a bit. Villanelle just nodded.

Eve used the chair to hold onto to pull herself around and managed to get her feet in the shoes. Konstantin held out his arm for her to grab onto and Eve was able to get out of the car and onto her feet. She gripped onto him, one hand around his shoulders and the other on his arm, but it felt nice to finally be out of the disposable hotel slippers and be on firm ground. Her waist felt as if it was pulling her to the ground, the bullet had clearly damaged some of her core strength, but she bit down on her lip, hard as they walked slowly to a small shop with flowers outside.

“What’s this?” Eve asked, stopping. She gazed at the bouquets of flowers outside and the plants that ran up the walls of the shop. It was beautifully quaint, like the rest of the village was.

“I thought that some flowers would be nice. Pick out something for your husband. I know that she is putting a lot of pressure on you for this.” Konstantin said with an awkward smile.

“She’s not. It’ll be nice to say something since I wasn’t allowed to go to the funeral. I just wish I wasn’t turning up shot with you and Villanelle in lieu. This was everything he warned me about. I suppose it was why we didn’t see eye to eye.” Eve giggled to herself. Konstantin joined in.

“Well, it’s as you say. What’s done is done. Get some flowers, leave him a nice message and tell him goodbye. You and Villanelle will have some time alone in Minsk. Maybe it will be an opportunity to start your time together.”

Eve nodded. She let go of Konstantin and took a few steps forward to a bouquet of white lilies, but she wobbled on her feet. He was behind her quickly, arm out to support her. She took it thankfully.

“Eve, try not to push yourself too much.”

“Why are you being nice to me?”

“Well, we have to live together. And as much as you might not believe me, if it was not for you two, we might be in a worse mess than we are now. We could be in a better situation, yes, but also much worse.”

“Oh, so this in a roundabout way is a thank you.” Eve smiled. Both him and Villanelle were too proud to admit their issues, and in a way, so was she. Maybe they did work as a bit of a dysfunctional family unit.

They were greeted in Polish by the man who ran the market stall. Konstantin gestured towards the lilies.

“These. A card as well, please.”

“Oh. Tourists?” He asked.

“We are here to pay respects to an old friend.”

“Ah. My condolences.” He went to wrap up the bouquet but Eve shook her head.

“No need.”

They went back to the car, Eve clutching Konstantin’s arm in one hand, the bouquet in the other. She was relieved to sit down, her stomach was sore and her legs were a little shaky, but she was grateful for the walk. She ran her fingers over the flowers, they were beginning to wilt slightly, but both her and Niko had never been particularly into flowers. He bought her them once, and she told him she’d rather have the money spent on a takeaway and he wholeheartedly agreed and bought her takeaway anyway. She smiled at the memory.

“Do you need anything?” Konstantin asked.

“My bag, please. I have a pen in there.”

She received her bag and took the pen, pressing it against her lips, trying to think about what to write.  _ I love you  _ seemed like too much of an insult now,  _ I’m sorry _ seemed a little fruitless. A tear dripped onto the card. She sighed, and could only think of one message to scribble on the card.

_ Thank you for everything. Eve x _

She rifled through the bag to pick out the wedding rings, dropping Villanelle’s back into the bag. They were a little dented and scratched from rolling around the bag and being thrown in there a few days ago, drunkenly. She looped the red string through the wedding ring and tied it onto the note, and attached it to the bouquet. Eve had said before that she had intended to sell the ring, but in this situation, it seemed a little disrespectful. She was thanking him for the decade of her life they had spent together, the support, the cooking, the life lessons learned in her late twenties. The ring was her old life, and she was returning it back to where she found it.

She leaned forward to tap Villanelle’s shoulder. Villanelle jerked, she had obviously been lulled back into a nap while she waited for the two of them to return. Villanelle mumbled, arms stretching out again. Eve noticed that she was very much like a cat: alert at times, sassy at others and occasionally loving. However, the sleepy smile she gave Eve showed that she was beginning to warm up to her, in a way. Even from the beginning, the pair had been able to see into each other. Maybe the cliche of love at first sight was a little far fetched, but Eve could believe it.

“Come on. I’m ready.” She told Villanelle, and wordlessly, Villanelle got out of the car to help Eve over to Niko’s grave.


	19. I think I have found the answer.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve says goodbye to Niko, Villanelle comes to terms with her career as an assassin and Konstantin still struggles to tell the truth.

Eve had been sitting at Niko’s graveside for five minutes without saying a word. She had gone to talk several times, but it felt awkward, the words jamming and dissipating before she could get them out. It felt as if she were talking to no-one, in a way. Niko was not here anymore and essentially all she figured out was that she was proving Villanelle right in a way. Niko was not here, he was gone from their lives and was only a memory, the idea of respecting him was merely chaining Eve to the past. She looked around the churchyard again. It was simple, the headstones merely plaques now unless they were older, in which they were crumbling and falling apart. Niko had a modest marble plaque in the ground by the stone fencing. It was layered with flowers, pictures and other such trinkets. It was probably all his family could afford.

  
While thinking about money, she considered the house. They had not finished the mortgage on it nor found a buyer in time and with one participant dead and the other on the run, it would probably get claimed by the bank. She thought of the pictures on the fridge, Niko’s CDs, the belongings she had not retrieved in time and sighed, resting her head in the palm of her hand. Eve caught Villanelle’s eyes and smiled at her, and she did the same. Villanelle was sitting on the low wall a few metres away from Eve. Far enough for some privacy, but close enough so she could hear Eve call out to her. Eve looked over at her often, but she was usually wrapped up in a world of her own. She wondered if Villanelle could hear her talk, that’s if she was talking.

“Um, hello. God, it’s all a bit weird, isn’t it?” Eve started, but paused. She did not know where to begin. She clutched the bouquet in her arms like a comfort blanket, because this was what Niko had been for so, so long. It was time to say goodbye. She looked over at Villanelle once more, and caught her looking away, sharpish. It made Eve laugh to herself. She supposed Villanelle could hear her, but in a way, she was relieved. She would still speak as if she was not there, but hopefully hearing something nice about her would relieve her of her anxieties. In a way, it was what spurred Eve on to talk openly to Niko’s grave.

“I don’t know what to say. I feel like I should apologise. I know you wouldn’t even entertain the idea though, so what’s the point? I get it. I do. I know it’s my fault, if I had never taken that fucking job, we’d be at home and you would have bought those fucking goats and I’d probably be working as some office lackey. I can’t though, I just can’t torture myself about my past choices. It would break me, I know how many people have died because I got involved. I know you died because you wanted to keep me safe. Oh God-”

Eve thought she had cried out every tear for Niko already, a week ago in her apartment surrounded by cheap wine and empty ramen cups. He was boring, he was predictable and a little controlling with his anxiousness towards her, but he had loved her, and she had loved him. Niko had only withdrawn his unconditional support when he was afraid for her life. She looked back over to Villanelle, unconsciously hoping to meet her eyes, but she had her back to Eve, shoulders hunched, looking at something it seemed. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall, silently.

“I still think about it, what I could have done more to save you. If I had just come in through the back entrance or if I hadn't believed those texts. I should have seen straight through them, I know you don’t talk like that, but I guess I was desperate to believe that you wanted me back. That going back to our old lives was possible. I just hoped...I wanted to run. I had tried to rebuild my life and look forward, but then the past crept back in, and I wanted to rewind back to before, before any of it happened. I tried, I really did, but it was me being selfish. You can’t replicate what once was, I know that now.” Eve’s breath hitched. She put her fist to her mouth to suppress the shaky sobs that left her.

Eve sought out Villanelle, but she was still so closed off. She wondered if Villanelle was listening into their conversation, Eve knew that she was close enough to Niko’s grave to hear what she was saying, and Eve was not quiet with her sobbing. She sighed at the sight of Villanelle’s back, hunched over and cast her eyes to the sky instead. It was bright, crisp and blue. Full of promises of happy days and a clear future. Eve closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, the cool air soothing to her body. If anything, the fresh air after three blurred days cramped in a car, and many other days moving between hotels was refreshing, heavenly. The deep breaths she took merged with her crying and she swore to herself that this would be the last time she shed tears over her past, so she allowed herself to embrace her grief. Eve looked down at the flowers on her lap, the wedding ring shining in the light. She dropped the bouquet next to the plaque and smiled at it, at the ring that landed on the name ‘Polastri.’

“I came here to return this. I wanted to thank you for it, for the ten years of your life that you gave me. I want to thank you for how you loved me even when I was being selfish, when I was being unfaithful to you in every way that I was. I know that you wanted to keep me safe, but I think I wasn’t very interested in being safe back then…” Eve trailed off. Back when she was with Niko, safety was boring. She wanted the excitement, the thrill of the chase, everything and she did not consider the consequences. Past Eve did not understand them. Eve now, shot and damaged and sharing the burden with someone like her, craved nothing more than the warm blanket of safety to finally free her and her partner from this chase. She thought of the word partner and looked back down at the grave. That was the true elephant in the room, the topic she had been skirting around. Maybe that was why Villanelle was so tense? She had not discussed that part with Niko yet.

“Do I need to explain? I think everyone but me knew it was going to happen. I thought I was consumed with my job and the mystery that it brought with it. I wanted to know what made women kill, ever since that first documentary I watched in high school with my cousins who thought I was weird because I said carbon monoxide poisoning in a car was too obvious for a non-driver to-” Eve stopped again. A memory of the two of them watching the same documentary a few months after they met flashed to her mind. He had tried to coax the remote away from her, his hand going a little lower in her shirt. Eve had stopped him and gone on at length about how ineffective the murder was. She thought he was listening appreciatively as opposed to her cousins who looked at her in horror. However, in that memory now, she could see the glazed over eyes, the disinterest. How were they ever compatible, she asked herself. She sighed, throwing her hands down into her lap and continued.

“Whatever. I guess the point is, when I found out what made her kill, I found the answer wasn’t what I thought it would be. I found someone who felt the exact same emotions as me, but someone who was told not to, who had been misunderstood and manipulated. I was a bad person, too. I took her on with the intentions of manipulating her to get to whoever harmed you. I wanted to break her, but when I picked her up that day, I knew that all I wanted to do was make her happy. To create a safe space for her to actually feel without judgement and a place where she could break when she felt ready. I didn’t pick her on a whim, on a rebound. I think you know that, though.”

There was silence apart from the gentle chimes of a decoration hanging from the church. Eve turned her head again, but Villanelle was still giving her privacy. In a way, she did not want that. She wanted Villanelle to understand her feelings, that this was more of an apology to her than to him.

“Besides, I didn’t like your choice of partner either. She was a budget Miss Honey who spent too much money on bras. I know you’ll be happy there, though. Wherever there is.” She laughed to herself, it was petty, but she needed a bit of light relief, even if only for her. Although she could imagine Niko would laugh along with her if they were friends.

“I know you’d resent Villanelle. You’d be furious that I decided to risk and spend my life with the one person who you blamed for pulling us into this mess. I pulled us into this mess. Not her. I was the reason why I have a bullet-shaped hole in my waist. Not her. All of this was because I was hiding, I couldn’t just face up to the truth. I wanted it all, you, her, I wanted the excitement and the safety. I regret what happened to you, because of me. I don’t know if I regret this, though. It wasn’t love, back then, but it is now, and getting to see her underneath the flashy clothes and weapons is something I can’t regret. She’s made me want what you irritated me with. She fusses over me, won’t let me do anything by myself at the moment. She picks at my outfits, calls me up on my bullshit and I accept everything she says. I don’t argue, well, I don’t argue much. I know every time you called me out, I would get nothing but defensive.”

She stopped talking. There she went again, speaking about nothing but Villanelle, even to the dead man who probably hated the both of them. It was ironic that she was having the moment of realisation on just how much she loved Villanelle to the man who wanted her to despise her. She had come to say goodbye to him, not hello to her new relationship.

“I want to be free, Niko. I want to be free of the guilt. I want to be able to love her and she deserves that, too. I’m not Eve Polastri anymore, I guess I’m Evelyn Park or whatever bullshit name Konstantin came up with for me. I don’t want to be defined by you, as your widow or held back by some moral obligation to you. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I fell in love with her. I didn’t expect it either, I didn’t realise it properly until all of this happened and it floored me. Nevertheless, you’re the last thing that’s holding me back. I know I’m sitting here, shot, on the run, unstable, but this is the dreaded place I found happiness.”

Eve looked at her feet, pressing her lips together. She had an urge to look behind her to seek out Villanelle again, but decided against it. They were two separate worlds, Eve was the person who merged them both against their will. She needed to put this one behind her. She pressed her fingers to her lips, softly kissing them before leaning over and pressing her fingers to the plaque, on Niko’s name. Her waist burned, but she pushed through it. He deserved one final goodbye. There was still love there, but it was old, faint, nostalgic. The way one would look back on their childhood best friend or estranged parent.

“I can hear you now, telling me to piss off, forever. Goodbye, sweetheart. Enjoy your rest.” She smiled at the plaque, the wedding ring knocking against the marble. It was a nice ten years, but she had another forty or fifty to live without being chained to him and someone to love and live out the years with, someone who definitely would not accept her sharing. Eve looked over at Villanelle, who was still hunched over, not looking at her. She noticed the knee up on the wall. Something was wrong. Eve decided to play it safe and beckoned over to her for help. She had said her goodbyes to the past now, she needed to focus on her present.

“Hey, Villanelle! I’m done now, can you come and help me?” Eve shouted over to her, turning to face her and waving. Villanelle, back still turned did not even twitch. She tilted her head to see if she could catch more than just Villanelle’s back. There was nothing apart from her silky hair blowing in the wind.

“Villanelle?” Eve called again, quieter, confused. She tried to move the chair, but felt it shake against the unsteady rocky path. She gripped onto the side of it to steady it, she desperately needed Villanelle to steady her, but she was in a world of her own, or asleep, or something else. Eve tried once again to get through to her, calling her name, pleading, but there was still no response. She felt her eyes go blurry again, stuck in place. Why was Villanelle ignoring her? When did she become so helpless?

Eve was determined to find out the problem and quickly. She stood up from the chair, slowly, clinging onto the handles to steady her shaking legs. There was an intense pressure in her body driving her down and she was hunched over as she held the chair that was beginning to move a little under her weight. It made Eve consider her injury, she was not fully sure if it was just tissue damage because her core muscles were beyond weak now and she struggled with aching muscles. She could stand, she could sit if she had something holding her up, but like a baby, if she tried unaided, at the very least, it hurt immensely. At the most, she fell down. She only had a few seconds before she knew she would lose once she let go of the wheelchair, so she took a breath and let go, trying to gather speed while walking to clear as much of the graveyard as she could to get to Villanelle.

Eve felt almost intoxicated as she wobbled over to where Villanelle was standing, her arms out in front of her to keep her steady but also to brace her against her inevitable fall. She felt her body begin to pull her down and managed to summon one last burst of energy to cross the graveyard and throw her arms around the long pillar at the end of the fence to hold herself up. She was panting now in visible distress, pressing her body against the stone as a brace, looking down at Villanelle who appeared to be holding a gun in her hands. She noticed something drip from Villanelle’s face. Villanelle was crying. Eve muted her gasp.

Eve sunk down onto the path, back against the post she had embraced seconds before. She was trying to get her breath back, fighting the feverish feeling of pushing herself too far, her head swimming. She unpinned her hair so that leaning back was more comfortable and reached up to put her hand around the gun that Villanelle was holding on her lap, gently pulling it away from her, just in case. This finally made Villanelle look down at her on the floor, although her grip tightened on the gun. Eve wanted to glare but the devastated expression made her relax her forehead. She reached up to wipe Villanelle’s tears away but found she could not reach.

“Villanelle, could you get my chair please? The floor isn’t very comfy. Please, it kind of hurts.” The last word was a beg. Eve would definitely need some strong painkillers once they got back to the car and she screwed up her face in pain. She had finished the course of morphine last night but wondered if it was clear to take something else - Codeine, maybe? She tentatively felt around the bandage, scared she might have pulled her stitches, but everything seemed dry and in order. She looked up at Villanelle, who had still not made any movements.

Villanelle, still holding the gun, got up and went into the graveyard and Eve could hear the sound of the wheels on the pathway. She stayed there, eyes shut until she could feel Villanelle put a hand on her arm, but she brushed it away. She wanted to be angry at the fact that Villanelle had just left her to stagger through a graveyard on her own, injured, but she was tired and just wanted to leave. She gripped Villanelle’s arm and used the wall to push herself up and into the chair. Eve was determined not to be helpless. Villanelle sat down on the wall again, looking at the gun in her hand.

“Why do you have that?” Eve asked. She was concerned.

“Protection. Konstantin makes me carry it just in case somebody comes after us.”

“Can I have it?” Eve put her hand on top of Villanelle’s. Villanelle sighed and took out the bullets from the gun, passing them to Eve and putting the gun down her top. Eve wondered if she had a holster or was just keeping it in her bra, although she could imagine how uncomfortable that would be.

“I’m not going to shoot myself. Or you.” Villanelle was sarcastic. Eve threaded her fingers through Villanelle’s to hold her hand properly. Villanelle looked at their hands and the two of them sat there for a few moments, silently. When she felt something drip onto her hand, Eve used her other hand to wipe Villanelle’s face.

“What’s wrong?” Her voice was soft, caring. Eve buried her anxieties inside her, she was confused and a little hurt of Villanelle’s treatment towards her but she needed to know exactly where to step to meet Villanelle in the middle. Was she worried about the future? Had she said something wrong in her speech to Niko?

“I’ve killed so many people.” Villanelle finally looked up, but away from Eve, staring ahead. She sniffed and Eve leaned to rest her head on Villanelle’s shoulder.

  
“I know.”

“Then why aren’t you scared?”

“It’s all in the past.”

She felt Villanelle’s shoulder bob underneath her, the sound of a small, sad laugh whispered above her.

“I’m perfectly serious. It’s all in the past. I’ve killed too, you know. So has Konstantin, probably.”

“That was different, I manipulated you, you were saving my-” Eve pulled away to look at Villanelle. She was done with this roundabout way of talking, of them passing the blame onto each other and then trying to take too much for themselves.

“So what would have happened if you refused to kill for The Twelve?”

“I don’t know, they probably would have...oh.” Villanelle turned away.

“Look at me. Do you see my point?”

“It’s different. I killed people who I didn’t have to kill, too. Gemma. Bill.” Villanelle frowned. Eve bit her lip to stifle a laugh. Would she really be a bitch if she said she was not too fussed about Gemma being killed. She supposed it was all in the timing and decided to keep her mouth shut, anyway.

“Bill knew who you were and compromised you. What would have happened if you had been compromised? They would have killed you.”

“But-” Eve pressed a finger to Villanelle’s lips.

“Villanelle. Did you hear anything I said when I was talking to Niko’s grave?”

“All of it.”

“And what did I say?”

Villanelle loosened Eve’s grip to put an arm around her. Eve’s head rested lightly on her chest, breathing in the smell of the cotton and the perfume and her. She could feel fingers in her hair and the pain in her hip was beginning to dull to an ache, rather than a burn. She felt content, apart from the realisation that she had leant her head milimetres away from an unloaded gun.

“I’m sorry. I had a moment.” Villanelle spoke up.

“What were you thinking about?” Eve asked. There was silence.

“You don’t have to tell me if you can’t.” She added.

“Of course, I enjoyed all the really lovely things you said about me. But I’ve never seen somebody say goodbye like that, ever. I thought of the families of the people I had taken out at their graves, saying goodbye. I thought of Bor’ka and Pyotr watching the house burn and saying goodbye to our mother. My choice hurt them. Like Konstantin said, family doesn’t kill family. You’re not supposed to, anyway.”

“You know when they investigate crimes, the first thing they look at is the family? It’s very rarely someone not known to them. Look at the Peel case. Family. Konstantin would probably sell his family out for himself. I involved Niko in a case that set us on this path. Irina’s the only person who hasn’t been tied up in anything.” Eve smirked. She knew this was not comforting to Villanelle, but the pair of them knew comfort was not her strong point, anyway. Villanelle was the one crafty with the words, Eve just sat through the storm until it passed.

“Not quite.”

Eve pulled away from Villanelle, shocked, but not surprised. Konstantin would not go out of his way to involve her unless it implicated himself. She had assumed he was bringing Irina because she was intelligent and The Twelve would either kill her or recruit her. The pair of them knew he had been funnelling money out of the accounts for a while now and he was also tied up in the mess that Villanelle caused.

“It was obvious he was stealing money from The Twelve even before all of this happened. He also used me to perform an unauthorised kill that sunk him deep into the shit. Along with what I did, Irina apparently got quite annoyed that he had chosen to stay in London and he accidentally mentioned me. She ran down her mother’s boyfriend to get his attention. He’s dead and she was looking at a long time in the same institute I was in, which is where The Twelve like to pick their recruits. To test her loyalty they would most likely arrange a hit on him as her first task. He was way too compromised to continue.”

“When did he tell you this?”

“You’re a deep sleeper, Eve. You mumble a lot, it’s very cute. Sometimes you even respond to what I’m saying.”

“You’re like a python. You wrap around me like I’m your prey or something.”

“We should try that sometime.” Villanelle giggled, Eve rolled her eyes. She snuggled into Villanelle again, both arms around her hips.

“No. I’m done with the chasing. I’ve had my two strikes, I think a third one would end me.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen. I would throw Irina in the way. She hasn’t been struck yet, it’s her turn.” Eve laughed as Villanelle’s hands settled in her hair again. She heard Villanelle sigh as her fingers combed out the knots in her hair.

“What’s next?” Eve asked.

“Konstantin will take us to Minsk, he has booked us a hotel. He will leave us there for two days while he goes to pick up Irina. If Irina doesn’t kill him on the way back, he will then come and get us from the hotel and we will make our way to Romania. He has told me that we are not allowed to leave the hotel.”

“I suppose it makes sense. Actually, it sounds kind of nice. I’m looking forward to just being in one place for more than a few hours. A bed and a bath and some time alone with you. I think it might be the last bit of peace we get for a long time.”

“You’re looking forward to a shitty hotel?”

“I’m looking forward to what being in the shitty hotel room brings. I’m looking forward to it all.”

Eve was. She was looking forward to Minsk, to cheap hotel food and a mouldy bath and an uncomfortable bed shared with Villanelle. She was looking forward to hearing the bickering of Irina and Villanelle, as she could imagine they would argue a lot. She was looking forward to the cheap cottage of Romania and the dysfunctional family dynamics. It was world’s apart from the comfy middle-class London lifestyle she led previously, but it seemed dreamy.

“I want to make a condition.” Eve suggested. Villanelle was looking down at her.

“At the very least, for the two days we have in Minsk, we’re happy. I can count on one hand the days I’ve spent not crying and I kind of want a break from that.” Eve held her hand up to Villanelle. Villanelle frowned at it but shook it anyway.

  
“Maybe I could make you cry in a different way.” Villanelle suggested with a wicked grin. Eve poked at Villanelle’s hip and she jerked, gripping onto the wall to keep her balance.

“Don’t pretend you weren’t begging for it in the car this morning.” Villanelle added. Eve turned away from her.

“I just wanted you to stop treating me like a glass paperweight.”

“While pressing yourself against me?” Villanelle was leaning closer to Eve, bending down to match the height difference.

“You were the one who put your hand between my legs!”

“Like I could get it out with your vice grip! I wanted to wait.”

“Oh bollocks. If Konstantin hadn't interrupted us, what would you have done? Hm?” Eve regretted the sentence as soon as she said it. Villanelle did not mince her words when it came to intimacy and she loved to embarrass Eve with them.

“I wouldn’t have taken you all the way. Probably just got you off with my hand. Orgasms are good for pain relief.”

“What...Are they? Really?” Eve ignored the rest of the comment. She was more interested in the information.

“Endorphins. Apparently there’s been a lot of studies in using them to treat migraines.”

“Oh, cool.” Eve amused herself with the thought of someone disappearing upstairs when they felt a headache coming on. She wondered if Villanelle knew from experience, but a chill made her shiver and she pulled down the sleeves of her dress to cover her arms. Her waist was still sore and she had only picked at a few bits of food here and there, and all of a sudden she was ravenous. Villanelle stood up and leaned on the wheelchair. The sun was barely showing through the cottages, now. She pushed them back towards the car, still parked outside the florists.

“We bought some extra pastries in Berlin.”

Eve grimaced. She had eaten nothing but snacks and sweet food. The few times they had been here she had always enjoyed the rich soups and hearty meals. She checked the phone that Konstantin had given her, they still had time to catch a restaurant in one of the bigger cities to the south, and they were heading that way regardless.

“Do you think Konstantin might stop in one of the bigger cities? I could really do with a proper meal and I like Polish food.”

“Maybe. I do too. Good stews. None of this fancy shit where it’s like two spoonfuls for a meal with an edible flower.”

When they reached the car, they found Konstantin stretched out between the driver’s seat and passenger seat, mouth open, snoring. He looked as if he had been in a deep sleep for a while, his shirt was crumpled and a button had come loose and he had kicked off his shoes. Villanelle opened the car door and Konstantin slipped out, head landing on Eve’s lap, waking him with a shout.

“Morning.” Eve said.

“Is that what you call guarding the car?”

Konstantin got up and used the edge of the car to pull himself into the seat. Villanelle opened the back up for Eve to get in and joined her in the back of the car once she had sorted out the chair and Eve’s bag. 

“Konstantin, we’re hungry.” Villanelle feigned a sulk.

“Yep.” Eve mimicked her. Konstantin threw the bag of pastries into the back of the car.

“No, for like, actual food.” 

“I know a good place. It’s pretty cheap.”

“Eve needs to eat.”

“Yes, I-”

“Alright! I get the point. Where are we going?” Konstantin interrupted them both.

Eve gave the directions to Konstantin. She noticed Villanelle was tucking into a pastry anyway and pinched a little bit of the end off the pastry to eat it herself. Villanelle jerked her hand away, eyes wide.

“Hey! That was mine.” Villanelle quickly consumed the rest of the pastry.

  
“Excuse me? Do you not remember the sausage roll? Besides, this medication says I need to eat.” Eve took some painkillers along with some water and put her arm around the sulking Villanelle. She could see her trying to hide a smile.

“Who just had an epic speech to her husband’s grave about not living in the past, hm? Yet you bring up a sausage roll from over a week ago.”

“When it comes to food, I remember. I’m still pissed that Elena owes me a drink.”

“Elena?”

“MI6. Was in the car when you were trying to shoot Frank. Quit shortly after.” They both smirked.

“That was quite a romantic first meeting. You even cared for me before I’d spoken to you.” Villanelle said. Eve tilted her head, confused. Did Villanelle remember the bathroom, the very first time they had met? Once Eve had realised she had come across Villanelle before, the memory stuck, from the confused expression to the very first words Villanelle had said to her.

“Do you not remember? The hospital? The day I learnt about your hair fetish.”

“It definitely was the hair. I can’t wait to run my fingers through it when-” Eve coughed, hard to cover up Villanelle’s words. Konstantin also started talking at the exact same time.

“So, Eve, tell me about this epic speech. Stop living in the past?”

“Along those lines.” Eve mumbled. The yellow fields were disappearing behind them and in a way, she wanted it to stay like that.

“You two are shit at it.” Konstantin laughed.

The cafe was barely open, and they were the only customers in there. Apart from the quiet chatter of the employees, distant in the kitchen, it was silent. Eve and Villanelle were spooning down stew rapidly while Konstantin sat picking at the sides, watching with an amused expression. Eve caught his eye and shrugged at him. He put down his fork.

  
“I think I have found the answer.”

“What answer?” They both asked at the same time, with their mouths full. Eve covered her mouth, Villanelle did not bother and Konstantin wrinkled his nose.

“The answer of a question I ask myself a lot. How to get you two to shut up for five seconds so I can have some quiet. Why didn’t I know it was food?” Konstantin laughed as Eve and Villanelle shared a confused glance. Maybe they were not the only ones losing it a little with this car journey.

“Eve couldn’t eat properly.”

“Can now, though. Are you done with those starters, Konstantin?” Konstantin pushed the plate over to Eve. Villanelle’s hand was creeping towards them but he moved it away.

“Let her. Although don’t overdo it, Eve.”

Even if she did overdo it, it was entirely worth it. The food, definitely not apt for summer was delicious and reminded her of being at home. It did not draw up a specific memory, just the comforting, homely feeling that a good stew tends to. She could feel fingers at her shoulder and saw Villanelle pulling back her hair with the residue of the meal brushing the tips. She wiped it away with a tissue and Eve ignored her to continue until she was full.

“This place is good. How do you know about it, Eve?” Konstantin asked.

“Engagement meal with Niko’s family. They swore at me in Polish, didn’t realise I understood what they were saying and Niko ended up punching one of his cousins. They didn’t like me much. I’m surprised the owners don’t recognise me, they’re the same.”

“How did you know?” Konstantin asked.

“Um, well…” Eve cut off. They were similar words that Niko had whispered in her ear at heated moments.

“Well, I like you.” Villanelle almost shouted. She exaggerated the ‘I.’

“I like you too.”

“Shall we pay?” Konstantin liked to ruin the moment.

The both of them fell asleep pretty quickly once the car got moving again. Eve woke up on Villanelle’s lap, her arm around her waist. Her mouth was sticky from where she slept and Villanelle was still snoozing, her head against the car window. She could hear a young woman speaking Russian and craned her head to look at Konstantin. As soon as he saw her awake, he pressed a finger to his lips, insinuating that Eve should be quiet. She gazed out of the window, dazed, until Konstanin hung up the phone with an exasperated sigh.

“Was that Irina?”

“Yes. She’s being...a pain.”

“She doesn’t know about us, does she?”

“No. I don’t know how to tell her. I suppose it is too late now.”

“So we’re not completely on task for a quiet life and some peace?”

“Not yet.” Konstantin laughed.

Eve laid back down in Villanelle’s lap and replaced her arms around her waist.

“You may have to tone it down a little when Irina gets here. She seems very anti-love at the moment.” Konstantin warned her, but he had an affectionate smile on his face.

“I mean I will. Does it bother you? Is that why you’re leaving us in Minsk?” Eve asked. Obviously their bickering would be quite annoying, she knew from having to watch the two of them argue. Konstantin was always quiet unless it became a problem, though.

“Not entirely. There may be some border issues but you also need some time to rest, and to wash that food out of your hair.” Eve fiddled with her hair and grimaced at the sticky sensation. It was going to be hell to wash.

“It will be the last time you two get together alone. I thought that I owed you that, at least. You two cannot leave the hotel, however. It is dangerous and you need to rest.”

Eve turned her head away from Konstantin to lean against Villanelle’s thigh. Irina would be another problem, another argument. She felt immense pity towards her, she knew what it felt like to feel neglected, and so did Villanelle, she could assume. She dreaded another car ride full of arguments, but the thought of being one step closer to it all ending made her heart light. She could not wait to say goodbye to this car, the uncomfortable seats and slightly rickety engine. Villanelle shifted a little and put her hand on Eve’s arm, but she was still heavily asleep. Eve could feel her eyes dipping again, too.

“How long until Minsk?” She slurred out, eyes closing again.

“Quite a while. You might as well sleep. I’ll wake Villanelle up at sunrise.”

Eve dreamed of clear skies, ceilings with wooden beams and the smell of fresh air and warm pastries with a smile on her face. Of clean sheets and smooth skin and gentle touches. It all seemed so terribly cliche and it took a lot to quieten down the bitter voice telling her it was too good to be true.


	20. Is this our grand adventure or the start of a life together?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve and Villanelle spend their first day in the hotel together while Konstantin sees to business in Russia. Eve reminisces about the start of their trip but Villanelle's flippant and flirty comments leave her a little too hot under the collar.

Konstantin bundled them both into a hotel shortly after six in the evening, local time and drove off quickly, a pained look on his face.. Along with their bags, he handed them an extra backpack with supplies to keep the pair entertained, by his words. Eve and Villanelle looked around outside before stepping in. It was simple, but modern and clean. Opposite the hotel was a waterpark and Eve wondered if staying in such an obvious tourist resort was a good idea, but Villanelle told her that the room was cheap, accessible but also not quite in Minsk which kept them away from any potential problems. Hiding in plain sight. When they got to the room, Eve noted the aqua blue walls that were bright enough to give anyone a migraine. It was balanced by light decor, a white bed with gold accents, a comfortable chair in the corner and a small desk with a TV propped on the wall.

Villanelle dropped their bags and rolled straight across the double bed, limbs splayed out, hands in the sheet. The complimentary bouquet on the bed had fallen apart under her weight and petals covered the bed. It was so dreadfully romantic but Eve could not stop looking. Villanelle had borrowed Eve’s white dress and it mixed in with the sheets to make her look angelic. Eve pulled herself out of the chair, using the wall for support to cross the room and smiling at Villanelle. There were white curtains tied back, draping down the side of the bed. Konstantin had been kind enough to book them the honeymoon suite for a bit of extra space, although Eve hoped it did not raise too many eyebrows with the staff.

“I’m surprised you’re not throwing yourself at this bed after three days sleeping in a car. It’s so comfortable!” Villanelle all but squealed. Eve was eyeing up the bathroom door and she shook her hair at Villanelle. The curls were not as bouncy now and it felt as if they were sticking to her face.

“I can’t really throw myself at the moment without ripping out my stitches. Also, have you seen the state of my hair? I want a shower before I even think about ruining the clean sheets like you’re doing. Don’t make them smell too much.”

“I’d like to ruin you o-” Villanelle got up and started, but Eve cut her off by closing her eyes and holding her hand up near Villanelle’s mouth.

“One look at a bed and you turn into some sort of deviant? We both stink and need to change our clothes. Come on, I want a shower before we do anything else.” Eve demanded, leaning her hand on the doorknob. Villanelle bounced over to her, it was as if she was skipping and nudged her hand out of the way. Villanelle opened the bathroom door and beckoned Eve inside.

“No funny business.” She squared up to Villanelle, who just grinned at her and raised an eyebrow. Villanelle took her hand and pulled her into the bathroom.

Eve realised that the honeymoon suite most likely doubled as the accessible room and she was grateful for the wet room style bathroom with a chair in the shower. The room was darker with dim lighting, towels and complimentary toiletries on the shelves by the door. They decided to shower together for efficiency and at this point, they had seen each other in their entirety. There were no secrets between them anymore.

Eve sat on the chair and Villanelle was on her knees, lathering shampoo into Eve’s hair, albeit with a grimace at the texture of the unwashed hair. Eve was washing her body with a sponge, being careful around her wound. She did not want to dwell on it and instead considered how comfortable the pair of them were around each other now. They had not really spoken throughout the shower, apart from Villanelle asking Eve to move over a little and Eve asking for the sponge. It was drastically different to the first time they had shared a bath, that had been filled with flirtatious tension and bashfulness. They were simply past that, now, it was homely and cosy. Villanelle bantered a lot about sex but there was little charge behind it, now. She unclipped the shower head from the grip and used it to wash the shampoo through Eve’s hair.

“You do have a lot of hair. Hopefully there’s enough complimentary shampoo for my hair.” Villanelle wondered, combing her fingers through Eve’s hair to detangle the curls. The pull was a little painful, but she was rougher with her own hair when she did it, usually. She chose not to say anything, she was grateful for the assistance. 

  
“Maybe there might even be enough for my leg hair.” Eve added. She was moving the sponge down to her knees and the sharp stubble brushed her hand. She did not particularly care but she wanted something more lighthearted to discuss.

“If it bothers you I can help you get rid of it? It’s not a priority, though.” Villanelle said, but Eve shook her head.

“Nah, I’ll deal with it when I’m a bit more flexible. As long as you don’t mind my cactus legs poking you in my sleep.”

“I don’t mind. It’s better than not having you there at all.” Villanelle flicked the showerhead towards Eve and she shouted out, pushing it away.

“I was going to say that you were being romantic, but I take that back.” Eve threw a bath sponge at her and it bounced off her chest. Villanelle was beaming and Eve enjoyed how happy she looked. It felt like the small sparks of happiness they had before they realised The Twelve were after them. Eve gripping onto her after a particularly sickening funfair ride, Villanelle laughing at Eve concealing her chest. Singing loudly at the concert and playing silly games. She wanted to stay here, but she knew that Konstantin was quickly heading towards picking up a sulky and confrontational teenager, so she would hold on to every smile.

“What are you thinking about?” Villanelle asked her. Eve pulled Villanelle’s face closer to hers.

“How happy I am here. I’m kind of sad it’s only for a couple of days.” Villanelle leaned up and kissed her gently.

“We will just have to make it last. It’s not like we have anything else to do, anyway.”

“Yes we will.” Eve moved in for another kiss. Villanelle shifted her hand behind her back and then with one swift movement, planted the bath sponge in Eve’s face with a devilish cackle.

Later that evening, and with the both of them relaxing in the hotel’s complimentary pyjamas, Villanelle had fetched her and Eve food from the buffet. It was vegetable heavy with lots of fresh salads and light dressings but Eve was grateful for it after the days of sugary pastries and cardboard sandwiches. She had waited for the bathroom to dry out, keeping herself occupied with one of the old romance books Konstantin had packed. Once it had, she had sat on the chair in the shower and was hand washing their clothes in the sink using the bar of detergent she had packed. They had the door open and Villanelle was on a laptop that Konstantin had given them researching different things and reading celebrity gossip, occasionally chatting about it to Eve. She had proclaimed that she was bored several times that night, often accompanied with the sound of her hitting the bed or groaning dramatically.

“You can help me hang some of these clothes up.” Eve shouted out to her after what she thought was the seventh time. Villanelle appeared in the door seconds later with hangers from the wardrobe and started hanging the clothes up on any surface she could: the doorframe, shower rails, Eve’s accessibility rails. Eve had pulled out the blue dress now and noticed a small bloodstain at the hip, frowning at it. The stain was pretty soaked in, but she hated to admit that both of them were probably more equipped at removing blood than the average person.

“Sorry. I ruined one of your dresses. I quite liked this one.” She held up the dress to Villanelle, her hand under the fabric where the stain was.

“I liked it too, but more on you, it looked amazing. See if you can get the stain out anyway, it’s not like we have anything better to do this evening. I’m bored.” 

“Nothing good on TV?” Eve set to work soaking the dress in cool water and rubbing in the detergent. Villanelle walked back out to her laptop and Eve could hear the soft thud of her throwing herself down on the bed.

“Not really. Most of the channels are in Russian, anyway.”

“So? Don’t you understand Russian, anyway? Is that the most common language here?” Eve asked. She noticed the stain was beginning to lift out and continued to work at it. She wanted to save the dress, it was incredibly comfortable and even she had to admit it made her look a little more glamorous with very little effort.

“Sort of. Belarusian and Russian, but everywhere speaks English nowadays. I’m not overly familiar with Belarusian but it shares some similarities with Russian. I do still prefer English, though. And I’m bored of shitty hotel TV when I have you here, anyway.”

Eve was impressed. One of the things that attracted her to Villanelle initially was her wits and knowledge and it was still something she loved about her. She could go from a pouting child to someone with the research skills of a professor and knew how to use her knowledge as power. Eve would often get too absorbed into one topic and hyperfixate on something. When she was a teenager, she inhaled every single bit of information over a book she loved and pieced things together to create a world entirely separate. When she started watching crime documentaries with her father, she would be researching the crime within five minutes of the beginning, too impatient to wait for the ending. Sometimes she would write up how she would do it instead in an old scrapbook. That was both a strength and a weakness she carried, while Villanelle could pick out exactly what she needed.

“How many languages do you know?” Eve asked. She had draped the dress over a towel and used the rails to leave the bathroom, taking a seat in the chair next to the bed. She was determined to use this time to gain back her strength even though Villanelle always watched her cautiously when she moved about the room. The wheelchair was left by the door of the small room.

“French, fluently. I can speak enough German to get me by and I picked up a lot of Spanish during my time in Barcelona. Russian, obviously, although it’s not my favourite and English. I have enough of a grasp of most European languages and I started teaching myself Mandarin but I haven’t had enough of an opportunity. What can you speak? Did moustache teach you some Polish?” Villanelle was lying on her back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“I picked up a bit of Polish here and there, but nothing useful. I probably couldn’t repeat most of it in public. English, obviously. Korean because my mother was insistent that we only spoke Korean at home. She didn’t want me becoming “too Americanised,” as she called it. She wouldn’t even let me have fast food, I would sneak out and get it myself with friends after school. I took French throughout college and kept it up with evening classes since it was a MI6 requirement to know another European language and it was the one I had the most knowledge on. ”

“You speak French?” Villanelle asked, grinning at Eve. She had rolled over on the bed, facing her, swinging her legs absentmindedly.

“Oui.” Eve replied. Villanelle had her usual teasing expression on, but Eve was interested in impressing her. She wondered just how much Villanelle underestimated her fluency so she started simply with matching Villanelle’s remarks.

“Je t’aime.” Villanelle said. Even though it was only to test her French skills, Eve’s heart still skipped a little every time Villanelle told her she loved her. She would most definitely have to get her to repeat it in every language that she knew.

“Je t’aime aussi.” Eve repeated, almost a mumble. Both of them know that it was basic, Eve was waiting for how far Villanelle would take this. Villanelle inched closer, propping herself up by her elbows. Eve raised her eyebrows and mirrored her stance, her head in her hand with her elbow resting on the arm of the chair. She definitely liked this, it reminded her of the times they would challenge each other before, although the lack of a knife was a little more comforting. Two bored, great minds, dancing around each other until one of them cracked.

“Je veux me réveiller chaque matin près de toi.” Villanelle whispered. Eve could feel the heat in her cheeks. It was purely romantic and only to show off, but Eve was excited to spend the rest of her life waking up to her and she hoped that Villanelle was not just picking lines to test her. Now they were playing, though and Eve was only too happy to show off.

“J’ai hâte de passer le reste de ma vie avec toi.” Eve wanted to add _suck on that, Villanelle_ but the slight pink to her cheeks and the accelerated breathing was enough to satisfy her and she feared that a sarcastic remark would ruin the mood. She liked seeing Villanelle flustered and blushing. Eve carefully picked her words as did not want things to get too racy, otherwise Villanelle would take it and run and she liked her little show of dominance. She was not quite ready to bridge that gap yet, and looking at their history, the times that the conversation led to something a little more heated, it either ended in an argument or, well...what happened in the car. Eve leaned forward, closer to Villanelle, but propping herself as if she was over her. She tilted her head with a smile. Villanelle sat up on the bed, legs over the side, and matched Eve’s pose.

“Je veux te déshabiller lentement pour profiter de chaque millimètre de ta peau.” Villanelle whispered as close to Eve’s ear as she could get. Eve pulled away sharply from her and pushed her onto the bed, crossing her legs and turning away from her. Villanelle had sprinted over that bridge and Eve retreated, walking the other way. Villanelle huffed, when Eve turned to steal a glance, she looked almost disappointed. Villanelle reached for the laptop and flipped it open.

“I see you understood what that meant. I thought pushing me on the bed was a good start, however.” Villanelle sulked. Eve rubbed her face roughly with both of her hands. Of course, Villanelle’s comments were usually playful banter, they kept the cat-and-mouse dynamic in their relationship as mere foreplay now and a sense of nostalgia. She knew Villanelle would not touch her until they had agreed to progress. Once or twice, Eve had lost her head and they had come very close.

It still did not stop Eve’s mind racing with the inevitable. Obviously she has considered it even as far back as the hotel in Blackheath. What would have happened if they went home without bumping into Villanelle’s brothers? At that time it seemed almost like a natural progression, but as soon as The Twelve made themselves shown, the pair of them had cast their relationship aside for other things until the pressure had built and spilled over into a dramatic declaration. The ballroom. Niko’s grave. It was always the rule of three, so what was next? How long would Eve hold on for? Before it was knives and crimes and flashy gestures to push Eve into it, now Villanelle was killing her with kindness.

Things were threatening to tip over, again. Eve cast her eyes over to Villanelle who was clicking through articles of what appeared to be food. She was completely engrossed, adding tabs to a folder and switching between videos and pages. A piece of hair had escaped from her bun and Villanelle would blow it out of the way whenever it fell into her face. Eve turned her head back to the window and watched the twilight dwellers packing up the waterpark opposite. She thought she would clear the air, even just to calm herself down

“Attendons de voir.” Eve said, gazing out of the window. Villanelle flicked the tabs over onto a blank page and Eve heard the bed dip again.

“What? What do you mean by wait and see?” Villanelle demanded. Her voice was a little higher than usual, her usual confused expression.

“I mean it will happen, I want it to happen. Just not now. Besides, I don’t have the flexibility at the moment, anyway.” She avoided the actual word, but Villanelle knew.

“Do you think sex with two women is just elaborate yoga poses, then?”

“Of course not! But it’s probably a bit more fun when one isn’t wincing in pain all the time and you’re not looking at some gross, poorly stitched wound.”

“How is it healing?”

“It’s fine. A little red, but that’s to be expected. It’s starting to go down, though. Soon it’ll just be a line like the other scar on my back.”

“We can match. It’ll be like our own matching tattoos.”

“Gone off the matching necklaces that I won for us?” Eve looked over at the table next to the bed where both the necklaces were on some tissue, drying out. They had forgotten to take them off in the shower, the both of them often did not even notice they were wearing them until one of them had forgotten to put it back on after a shower - which was the only time they took them off. Eve reached over to the table and picked up her necklace, tracing the engravement on the pendant. She had noticed a slight green tinge to the jewellery. Villanelle had picked hers up, too.

“They’re starting to wear out. I wish there was a way we can preserve them.” Villanelle put hers back on the tissue. Eve did too, and wrapped them up. She leant on the table to move between the chair and the bed, throwing herself down next to Villanelle. Villanelle moved a pillow for Eve to prop herself up on. Villanelle was still scrolling through websites.

“Have you ever had sex with a woman, Eve?” Villanelle knew when Eve was trying to avoid the subject. The subject she had started to talk about.

“No. I was too dedicated to my studies at college to ever hold down a relationship and apart from some study sessions that somehow included alcohol and a lot of shit films, partying wasn’t really my style. I didn’t go to the sports stuff, either. I was excited to be in love, though, so when I moved to the UK, I sought out a local bridge club and accepted the first offer to the pub I was given.”

“Interesting. I always thought a hookup with your roommate was part of the college experience? It’s what they portray in movies.”

“What? No they don’t. What kind of books are you reading?” Eve could not name a single teen movie that held that sort of storyline, unless...Eve stopped and slipped forward a little to look at what Villanelle was browsing through. It was an online cookbook of traditional English recipes. 

“Food not up to standard here?” Eve asked. Villanelle shook her head.

“No, it’s good, but I suppose one of us has to cook when we get to Romania. You can’t cook, neither can Konstantin and I don’t know about Irina. English food has a reputation of being a bit more simple, so I thought it would be easy to cook and it’s what we’re used to. It does not look very appetising though. Is Niko the only person you’ve ever slept with?”

“No. English food tends to be just throwing it all in a dish and cooking it until it’s mildly burnt. A lot of stuff out of a tin, too. I’m sure we’ll work it out. I wonder about Irina though, she was giving Konstantin a hard time on the phone last night. It was all in Russian though so I didn’t know what she was saying.” Eve brushed off the personal question and thought of where Konstantin might be at this point. Would he have crossed into Russia yet? Would Irina be convincing him to stay and leave the two of them here? Had he even told Irina about them? She considered texting him, they had phones and they had his number, but Eve realised why they had been left in Minsk. The border may have been a problem, but she knew the stressed lines that creased his forehead and the slightly snappier tone he used with the two of them. He needed some time alone.

“Who else? She’s probably going to get shitty with us for the first couple of days and argue with Konstantin a lot while we sit there and watch. She’ll involve me in a lot of the arguments and throw some cheap insults and then you’ll intervene with some bullshit reasoning and then she’ll wise the fuck up because she’s quite a smart kid. I’m excited to have somebody else to gang up on Konstantin with.” Villanelle rambled, trying to disguise the curious comment. Eve noticed that Villanelle conveniently missed out the part where she would most likely rise to Irina’s insults and Eve would have to calm down someone throwing a tantrum over a fourteen year old.

Eve wondered if telling Villanelle about Hugo was a good idea. They had shared an unspoken moment of intimacy in Rome, but Rome was another one of their taboo subjects because the next day, Eve had been lying on a slab of rock, bleeding out and being poked at by some tourists. She wondered how Villanelle would take it. Luckily her gunshot wound gave her some defence if she did decide to tell the tale, but she could imagine Villanelle pinning her up against the wall quicker than a flash if she was not already injured. Eve did not mind a little bit of the jealousy though. It made her feel wanted.

“Konstantin asked me to tone it down with you around her. She’s quite sensitive to love at the moment.” Eve told Villanelle. Villanelle just stuck her tongue out with a ridiculous expression.  
  


“Ah, so that’s why we got the honeymoon suite. To get it out of our system.”

“Yes, it is a bit of a pity we won’t be using it as such.” Eve added. Villanelle kicked off her slippers and tucked herself under the covers. Eve scoffed and put her arm around Villanelle. Being out of the car and around her in the hotel felt better already. If it was not for the vibrant water park outside of their window, the TV channels in different languages and the wound on her waist, she could trick herself that she was still in Canterbury, or had even made it to Belgium. She reached for the laptop and wondered if there was any sort of streaming app on it. Konstantin had bookmarked a website, probably illegal, but he knew how to encrypt it well with a selection of films and TV shows for the two of them. She tapped Villanelle on the shoulder, and was answered with a sleepy groan.

“Hey, sleeping beauty. Do you want to watch a movie? If you can hook it up to the TV, I’ll let you pick.”  
  
Villanelle threw back the duvet, covering Eve. She went through the backpack to find a HDMI cable and with a bit of fiddling, she got the TV working. Eve was grateful, she had always been a little inept with technology. Powerpoints at work were more of a mortal foe than psychopathic organisations and delayed trains, to her. Villanelle climbed into bed and Eve kicked off her slippers to get in alongside her. They dimmed the lights using a switch on the wall as Villanelle began to scroll through the films.

“What’s ‘Up?’”

“Not much, what’s up with you?” Eve turned to look at Villanelle. It was not usually her choice of phrase.

“No, I mean there’s a movie called up.” Eve looked at the screen, saw balloons and gripped Villanelle’s arm tightly.

“No.”

“Why?”

“It breaks our rule.”

“Rule?”

“Do you not know anything about Up?”

“No. What rule?”

“The one about no crying.”

“Movies make you cry? They’re not real.” The question was so earnest, so innocent, so curious and yet Eve was simultaneously amused and deeply offended.

“Fine. Fuck the rule. Put it on. Fiver on that you’ll cry.”

“We’re not in London anymore, Eve.”

“Apron thing, then.” It was the first thing that came to Eve’s mind that Villanelle wanted.

“Apron thing?”

“You know when you said you were looking forward to me with the apron...you know what, never mind.” Eve realised she might have just dug her own grave, especially with the quickly widening grin on Villanelle’s face and a hand popping out of the covers, prepared to shake. She went to move hers away but Villanelle grabbed it, shaking both of their hands furiously.

“Done deal. I won’t let you go back on it.”

Obviously Eve lasted mere seconds into the flashback before she was trying to use the hand wrapped around Villanelle - who was using her chest as a pillow - to wipe away the droplets at her eyes, but a light damp sensation on her top comforted her in the fact that she had not lost. She rubbed Villanelle’s shoulders subtly to console her but she knew Villanelle was not someone who liked to be public with emotion, so she chose not to mention anything. Villanelle watched the film intently, while Eve, who had seen this film many times before, paid attention but her mind wandered to the person in her lap, or sometimes her eyes would close for a little too long against the plush pillow.

She had watched the film with Niko when it came out and the pair of them were in their early thirties and the early days of their relationship. They had gotten serious fast, but it was while they were still in the months of sleeping together constantly and awkward displays of affection. Of course Niko had cried more than her at the opening clips, and Eve found it emotional, but she had rarely considered the future with Niko. Their marriage was spontaneous and so was his love of bizarre animals, but she waved off the idea of kids, of adventures, of anything grand with him.

Eve wondered where she sat, now. She supposed she was on the grand adventure after the death of her loved one, but as she watched it, she could only see Villanelle alongside her. Painting bedrooms, going on picnics, planning adventures and scrapbooking. This seemed to be the start of the story. She wondered what Villanelle thought, and whether through her mind ran the same romantic thoughts. Eve liked to think she did, too. She thought of the idea of a scrapbook, she had held onto the funfair wristbands and Elton John tickets somewhere. Her eyes closed again as she sighed into the pillow and she was slowly falling asleep.

“We should get a scrapbook.” Eve felt fingers digging into her arm and she opened her eyes. Villanelle climbed off her gently and started locking down the room, turning the lights off and organising the bags. Eve rolled over onto her side - the one that did not hurt as much - and pulled the blankets up to her chin.

“Is that what you got from the film?” Eve joked. Although she had the exact same idea and wondered if it was possible to order stuff to the hotel. She grabbed her phone off the table and texted Konstantin.

_Are we allowed to order stuff to the hotel? Villanelle wants a scrapbook._ She noticed the typing bubble come up immediately and Eve watched the hesitation Konstantin had.

“Did you keep the stuff from the other places we went? It might be a good idea to keep it all in one place. We can put the necklaces in there too.”

_I’ll see what I can do. You’re children._ Eve switched the phone off and put it back as she felt Villanelle get in the bed alongside her and wrap her arms around Eve. She was the little spoon tonight.

“Probably. In my bag somewhere. So what did you think of the film?”

“It was cute. Do you think we could do that with the house in Romania when Konstantin is out?”

“It’s a film.”

“It is. One that you cry over even though it’s not real.” There was the dig. Of course Villanelle did not actually want to make their house fly.

“And you didn’t?” 

Villanelle was silent. Eve put her hand over the arm draped over her waist and traced lines on the back of her hand.

“If I admit it, will I still get the apron thing?” Villanelle whispered. Eve laughed a little too loudly.

  
“Maybe.”

“Maybe yes or maybe no?”

“Didn’t you see any sort of parallels between us? Is this our grand adventure or the start of a life together? I kind of think it’s a bit of both. This has been a big adventure, but I wouldn’t mind painting a room with you.”

“Definitely. I felt that I related to the kid quite a bit. Helping the elderly is very important. Will you stand with me when I pick up my badge?”

Eve scoffed and shot her a look. It was probably useless since they were in darkness.

“I can’t even see you and I know what look you’re giving me. I’m kidding!” Villanelle chuckled.

  
“I think it’s a maybe no.” Eve turned around again, biting her lip with glee. She wished she could see the disappointment.

“I said I was kidding.”

Eve said nothing and let her stew for a few moments. She felt Villanelle’s arm retract from her waist and she was being shaken. Eve followed her arm and let herself be rolled over onto her back.

“Hey! Hey, I said I was kidding.” Villanelle’s voice was loud. Eve stuck her tongue out at her.

  
“I’m just teasing.”

They both settled down again into their spooning position. Eve looked over her shoulder, expecting to find Villanelle asleep, but saw two bright eyes staring at her in return.

“Yes?” Villanelle asked. Eve paused.

“Will you kiss me?”

“You don’t have to ask for that.” Villanelle pushed Eve onto her back and leaned down to kiss her. Eve put her hand in her hair and used the other to find Villanelle’s hand to hold it. When she felt teeth graze at her lips, she wriggled her head away. Villanelle laid down beside her again.

  
“Okay. I get it. We can wait, but you don’t have to act so prudish. We can still kiss.” Villanelle whined. Eve wished she could tell her that it was not her being reluctant, that it was her desperately trying to hold back.

Still, safety was on the horizon. A mere few days away. She fell asleep against Villanelle, holding her hand and being soothed by her gentle snores.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French Translations:
> 
> V: I love you  
> E: I love you too  
> V: I want to wake up next to you every morning  
> E: I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.  
> V: I want to undress you slowly to enjoy every inch of your skin (...typical Villanelle)  
> E: Let's wait and see.


	21. It made me want to fuck you, Villanelle.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alone together and bored in the hotel, Eve succumbs to her desires for Villanelle.

The two of them were bored. There was very little to do in the hotel for another day and they had exhausted almost everything. The car journey had brought nothing but talking for the pair of them and they had little desire to keep delving into their past and after spending two weeks with nobody but each other, with the occasional cameo from Konstantin, they had learned enough about each other to exist silently and comfortably in the same space. Villanelle retrieved food from the buffet here and there while Eve worked to improve her strength. The chair had remained untouched and anytime Villanelle offered her a hand, she shook it off. She was determined to get better, and the good food and quality of sleep had handed her a burst of energy.

Villanelle had spent the morning watching old television shows, some of the stuff on the mainstream channels as well as binging a couple of netflix series, but nine hours of television had bored her eventually. Eve had sorted out their clothes, packing them neatly into their overnight bags and had worked her way through a novel and a half of old trashy romance stories that Konstantin had packed for them. She skimmed them and could only focus on the cliches and terrible scenes of intimacy that were more of a comedy than something erotic. Eve did not need to read about cheesy love stories, she knew she was living one right at that moment.

She looked up from her book to check in on Villanelle once in a while and smiled to herself when she saw Villanelle hanging off the bed almost upside down, engrossed in a television show, mimicking the character’s expressions. She looked up at the screen to see a boy with a red car running away with a girl in a wedding dress and internally groaned. Villanelle did not need anymore movie star ideas, she was still pestering about the scrapbook. Eve had made the mistake of telling her Konstantin was going to sort it and she had disappeared down to the desk three times to ask for the post, coming back increasingly annoyed each time to find that one had not arrived. Eve merely told her to be patient. Villanelle had insisted on the pair of them wearing the necklaces once they had dried out and had put Eve’s on her before her own and then tipping out the quantity of the bag on the floor to see what else Konstantin had packed as entertainment.

Ultimately, nothing. Eve and Villanelle had considered whether they could go to the waterpark opposite the hotel but found no swimming costumes had been packed and Eve had a lengthy discussion with Villanelle on why skinny dipping in the afternoon at a family resort was frowned upon. Villanelle tried Eve’s books and grew bored quickly and the only thing left was a severely damaged pack of cards that had gotten stuck in a pocket in the bag. Eve had managed to fish them out but Villanelle looked confused.

“Have you never played cards before?” Eve had asked her and Villanelle frowned, but nodded.

“With my family.” She spoke, eyes down at her shoes. Eve took her hand and put the deck of cards in it with a reassuring nudge. 

“What did you play?” Eve asked. Villanelle had still never spoken about her trip to see her family but Eve was beginning to piece together what had gone down in Russia, carefully. She got the impressions of happy family life between her and her brothers and it pained Eve to know just how excited Villanelle would have got at this. She pictured her cautious first and then bouncing around, dancing exactly like how she noticed Villanelle would do with her, sometimes. Villanelle was eyeing the cards nervously. Eve wondered if this was a good idea.

“I don’t know, some game about a killer. It was boring.”

“Then let me teach you some better ones. If you’d like, that is.” Eve smiled at her and Villanelle nodded. 

“Sure. Yes, it sounds nice.” Villanelle loved to learn and she loved to win. Eve loved to see her happy, she knew that learning more would intrigue Villanelle and like Crocodile Rock, she wanted to claim any memory tainted by Villanelle’s insidious mother and stamp her mark over it with love and laughter and happiness. Eve also wanted to show off, she was pretty crafty with cards from her old days at MI6 as when the staff parties dwindled down to her, Bill and Elena and their wallets were becoming empty, heated card matches decided who bought the next round. They always kept a couple of packets at their desk that were often taken out to settle a deal.

Eve suggested Old Maid, first, shutting down Villanelle’s requests to play strip poker, knowing full well how that would have gone especially with her spiralling thoughts that were still there, creeping in the background. She also thought it would be the easiest to teach as it was essentially just pairs with a little added bonus and Villanelle had not played it before. However, for the third time now Villanelle held up the leftover queen triumphantly and Eve had lost the heart to tell her that in fact, she had kept losing.

“Villanelle, you’re supposed to get rid of the Queen. She’s the old maid, you’re meant to rearrange your cards in a way to get rid of them.” Eve tried to tell her. Villanelle just glared at the card.

“She’s the queen, though. Isn’t that a good thing?” She has asked, confused.

“Not in this game. She plays the role of the old maid, so you have to get rid of her.” Eve explained. Villanelle flicked the card absentmindedly into the pile of cards between them on the bed and Eve picked them up to shuffle them.

“It’s fine, I have an old maid in my life so that’s why I think it’s winning.” Villanelle was looking at Eve with a smirk and Eve knew exactly what she was referencing. She had played the maid role in Rome with Villanelle as Billie. Eve nudged Villanelle’s knee with her foot playfully, but she was relieved that they could actually joke about Rome without it being painful, anymore. The past was put at rest peacefully and was only a distant memory without any emotion apart from fondness attached to it, Eve accepted the bad but also accepted that without the bad, she would not be spooning her assassin every night. While she would have preferred to go a different way to get there, she accepted that perhaps it was her that chose the bullet through the back. Besides, Villanelle sported an equally as grisly scar from her so after a lot of thought, she realised it would have been cheeky to be angry at her.

“Why don’t we try cheat now?” Eve asked. She knew the name of the game would be more likely to pique Villanelle’s interest.

“You’re encouraging a game for me to cheat at now?” Villanelle had an eyebrow raised.

“Let me explain the rules. You’ll like this one.”

Eve explained it with an anecdote of Bill after a lot of whisky, and that was how a game of cheat became the two of them excitedly yelling “Bullshit!” at each other in different voices when they suspected the other one was lying. Eve’s low voice was seductive, Villanelle was comical with her expressions and declarations which made Eve either collapse into a fit of giggles or touch her cheeks when she could feel them burn. She liked testing Villanelle, and Villanelle seemed to enjoy it too as often the both of them would declare the other a liar even when they had no reason to just to get a reaction. Once Villanelle had got the hang of the game, she was marginally better at it than Eve and was beginning to rack up some wins. Villanelle was down to her last card and Eve was trying to remember what was in the pile to declare her a bullshitter. Eve had placed down three sevens, she held two sixes and was sure that the others had already been played. Villanelle placed her card down as a six and Eve was ready to call her out, either way, she had already lost.

“Bullshit.” Eve pronounced the word as if it was two separate words, playing with the syllables. Villanelle picked up the card and held it up to Eve’s face in her fingers before flipping it over with her thumb smoothly. Lo and behold, it was indeed a six and Villanelle’s giggle was like a baby’s: excitable, innocent and contagious. Eve plucked the card from Villanelle’s hand with faux annoyance and threw it down.

“Looks like I’m good at winning when I don’t play by the rules.” Eve was sure Villanelle winked at her and she pressed her lips together.  _ Oh no _ , she could hear her mind screaming at her. Was that really all it was going to take to send Eve aflutter with emotions she had tried so hard to bottle up yesterday?

The answer was simple, the bottle was full and the bubbles underneath the cork were pushing it out of the top, ever so slowly. It would not be a graceful spill, it would be loud and surprising and messy. Eve’s roaring thoughts were interrupted by the brush of fingertips against her hand, still on the pile of cards. Villanelle was trying to work the pile out from underneath her hand, prattling on about finding something online about building a tower out of cards but Eve’s hand had already found its way to Villanelle’s camisole and fisted itself into the material.

“Eve? What are-”

Eve had already pulled Villanelle forward with such force that she gave a surprised squeak and Eve could feel her waist burn from the exertion. Villanelle’s hands went to the frame of the bed to balance her, dropping the cards she already had in her hands as Eve’s lips met Villanelle’s. Eve’s eyes were closed, she could not see Villanelle’s reaction but as she dropped her hand from Villanelle’s shirt and tangled it in her hair, she felt a sigh against her lips. Eve used that to her advantage to passionately kiss her, catching her bottom lip in hers. She felt the headboard jerk from Villanelle’s grip as Villanelle moved to what Eve assumed was a more comfortable position and then she felt a knee between her legs as she sunk down onto the bed. When she opened her eyes, Villanelle was still holding onto the frame, completely over her now. The two of them were panting and Villanelle’s eyes were wide.

“Eve.”

Eve reached out to grab Villanelle’s top again but firm hands held her wrist in place against her chest. Eve exhaled in frustration.

“I thought you wanted to wait.” Villanelle said. Eve had to play it carefully here, she was quickly realising she had come on too strong.

“I did. And I waited a day, and now I’m ready. Might as well make use of this alone time and the honeymoon suite after all.” She tried to brush it off with a nervous chuckle but Villanelle frowned at her. She knew she had stepped wrong.

“Eve.” She repeated her name. It was often her way of calling her out on her lies inexplicably and giving her a chance to fix herself. Eve had slipped down the bed a little to avoid the overpowering gaze but squirmed a little when she realised that doing so put Villanelle’s knee in a very unfortunate - and irresistible - place for her. Villanelle’s breath hitched but she made no effort to move her knee, either.

“I just haven’t been able to think of anything else since we got here.” Eve was mumbling quickly and trying to turn her head away. She was disappointed in herself at this point, were they not already at a stage where embarrassment was fading? Had they not emphasised that many times? Then why was Eve struggling to look at Villanelle’s intense gaze and explain her intentions? Maybe it was the fear of doing something wrong. She felt a hand slip under the gap between her cheek and the bed and she moved to look back at Villanelle. She longed for that small burst of courage she had back in her ballroom plan, and deep at the back of the mind, she wished she had taken Villanelle’s offer of sex back then because she would not be fighting a stinging hip wound.

“Look at me, Eve. What?”

“You, this, everything! Showering together and what happened in the car and all of your dirty jokes and innuendo, it’s hard to think of anything else when it’s all that surrounds me and I’m left alone with my thoughts.”

“I’m sorry, it was just a joke. I won’t-” Eve cut Villanelle off with a desperate cry.

“No! No, no, I like it, I enjoy our conversations and our joking and I knew it was a joke, but it just made me... It just made me-” Eve trailed off again, swallowing, as if she were swallowing her words.

“Made you?”

“It made me want to fuck you, Villanelle.”

“Oh.” It was breathy. Eve wondered if Villanelle had felt the same wave of desire that coursed through her body as soon as she said those words, too. Eve looked down at where Villanelle’s knee was and trailed her eyesight up over Villanelle’s body, settling on her lips. She wanted to scream out to Villanelle to kiss her, but she was sure that her face was probably giving that away anyway. Villanelle’s face was stunned, she had only seen that intense expression once before after they had jerked away from each other on the bus. Their first kiss. Obviously they had gotten close to each other before, they had even felt their bodies pressed against each other but this was Eve offering Villanelle the power instead of the pair of them trying to snatch it. She closed her eyes, resigning to Villanelle, but her shoulders were tense, hoping that she would reach down and close the gap.

Eve heard a creak felt the bed dip next to her and she opened her eyes to see Villanelle’s hand next to her head, the other still holding onto the frame.

“Close your eyes.”

Eve did as she was told. Villanelle in charge was intimidating and powerful, but also bewitching and irresistible. She closed her eyes, parted her lips and waited, hyper-aware of the time as the hairs on her arms stood on end. She was listening for anything but apart from a bit of shallow breathing, everything remained still. A hand cupped her cheek and Eve’s hand snapped up and clung to it, leaning into the touch, pressing it to her face. She was almost reduced to begging but as she opened her mouth to form the words, she was met with soft but strong lips that did nothing short of ravish her.

Villanelle was being dainty with her touches which was beginning to irritate Eve a little, who was arching and craning towards anything she could get like a magnet. Behind the banter, the bravado, the brags of sexual escapades and what she would do to Eve, Villanelle was shy, hesitant even with Eve very obviously at her mercy. She had paused again, hand on Eve’s top, inched up slightly. Eve had no qualms about exposing her wound if - and she encouraged it - Villanelle wanted to touch her, but she would also understand if Villanelle wanted to keep it on. She reached up to the straps and slowly pulled them down her arms. Villanelle nodded and pulled the loungewear over Eve’s chest and head as Eve raised her arms to make it easier. Villanelle paused again.

“Are you all right?” Eve asked her as she noticed Villanelle’s eyes roaming across her chest and down to her stomach. Her gaze was so intense that Eve felt like she wanted to make a joke or say something to dispel the tension but she knew that she needed to be patient with Villanelle. Villanelle sat up and took off her camisole, revealing a neat, pink scar that mirrored Eve’s, albeit hers was still stitched and jagged. Eve reached out to touch it, gently running her finger over it. If hers would have been healed, she could imagine Villanelle doing the same to her. Villanelle was looking down at her, smiling.

“We match.” Villanelle said.

“Yes, we do. Different sides, though. More like looking in a mirror.” Eve laughed. She pinched Villanelle’s hip in impatience and Villanelle jerked forward and scoffed at Eve.

“Ooh, we are demanding.” Villanelle cooed, teasing her. She was sliding her hand up her leg, up the cotton shorts she was wearing and over her inner thigh. Eve shuddered and her eyes closed, she wriggled down the bed to try and inch Villanelle’s hand up further, praying she was not in too much of a playful mood and cursing her still not quite healed injury from stopping her flipping Villanelle into the bed and taking control. She wondered exactly how Villanelle would take that.

Finally, finally Villanelle’s hands reached the waist of her shorts as she worked to remove them, lavishing butterfly kisses down Eve’s neck. Eve tilted her head to expose more of her neck, moving to tuck her hair out of the way, gasping, but Villanelle’s hand moved from her shorts to push her hand away.

“Leave your hair as it is.” Villanelle demanded and Eve obeyed. At this point, she admitted to herself that there was not much she would not do to get Villanelle’s hands into her shorts. Villanelle traced kisses over her collarbone and down her chest and she felt the fingers on her shorts dip a little lower. Of course there was an element of teasing, stirring Eve up, it was Villanelle after all, who loved nothing more than to get a rise out of Eve and have her begging, which was working. Eve knew her now, though and could see the timidness, the uncertainty behind each touch as if Villanelle was still afraid of being rejected. Eve had made it obvious, telling her she wanted to fuck her was about as blatant as it got, and even Eve was surprised she was able to get those words out, but she would not push Villanelle. She was enjoying the gentle touches and longing gazes, it was as if Villanelle was savouring every moment.

A long, slender finger had slipped underneath the shorts and was pressing into Eve. It took her by surprise as she closed her eyes and involuntarily gasped. She heard a smug laugh and looked up at Villanelle who was watching Eve’s expression with what appeared to be awe. She added another finger, tracing patterns over the intimate area, touching and pushing with cutting skill and only the slightest hesitancy. Her fingers brushed over Eve’s clit and Eve cried out, turning her head towards the bedding and fisting her hand into a pillow. The fingers stilled, but she felt a firm hand underneath her chin, guiding her head back over.

“Don’t do that. I want to see your face.”

Eve nodded slowly. Her thoughts about flipping their positions if she had been fully able to had vanished and she felt more vulnerable now, although still very much wanting. She put her own hand on the waist of her shorts and began to push them down, but was stopped by Villanelle who brushed her own hand away and pulled Eve’s shorts carefully over her legs as Eve manoeuvred to help Villanelle get them off. She shuddered once the cool air began to hit her scorching body and turned her gaze away from Villanelle, feeling very conscious about the fact that she was lying under her, completely stripped bare. It was silly, she was a forty year old woman, previously married and not shy of a few university flings and Villanelle had seen her without clothes a handful of times already. She wondered if she could put it down to it being her first experience with a woman, but she knew that was just semantics. Eve knew she was seeking Villanelle’s approval, that through all the tears and blood, she was waiting for the acceptance the both of them craved from each other.

“You’re beautiful, Eve.” A low, husky tone. Eve summoned the courage to look at Villanelle again and she was met with soft, emotional eyes and parted lips. She smiled and reached for Villanelle’s hand.

“You almost make me believe that it’s true.” Eve said with a giggle. She knew she was someone who rarely put effort into herself and as she lay there covered in scars and bruises from fights and clumsiness, she almost believed that she could be admired.

“It is true, though.” Villanelle was serious and Eve wondered if she may have ruined the moment. She quickly brought the attention back to the more pressing matter of the fact that she had gotten naked and Villanelle was not quite there yet.

“Will you just get on with it, please.” Eve was laughing but also desperately impatient. She was grinding her hips into Villanelle’s thigh at this point to try and show her just how much she wanted her.

“Yes boss.” Villanelle smirked. Eve considered it, they might have to try that sometime. There was always a sort of power play dynamic between the two of them even though they had admitted they were both more similar than they wanted to be, in the beginning. However, Eve could not quite figure out who was in charge here, it had flipped more than a light switch. Sure, she had initiated it but only made it part way through following every single lead that Villanelle gave her, only snapping when it stopped and she was teasing a little too much. Then she felt the first swipe of Villanelle’s tongue as hands parted her legs and moaned. Villanelle was definitely the one in control, she had turned Eve into a bashful, moaning mess but God, she loved every second of it.

They had shifted on the bed for a more comfortable position and were laying side by side. Villanelle had shimmied out of her loungewear at the request of Eve and she was on her knees, hands pushing apart Eve’s thighs. All Eve could see was Villanelle’s flowing head of hair if she propped her head up enough, but she alternated between wanting to look and then wanting to close her eyes and feel it, letting whimpers and gasps fall from her lips every time she felt Villanelle’s tongue on her, or fingers graze over sensitive areas. She felt a finger push into her and cried out Villanelle’s name, rolling her head to the side and feeling it bump into Villanelle’s thigh. Eve could feel Villanelle gasp against her.

Eve wondered what it would be like to touch her, too. She was not exactly reciprocating and while she was very much into what was going on, she wanted to touch Villanelle too, to taste her, to see her twitch and shudder just as much as she was doing. She reached out towards Villanelle’s thigh, running her hand down the inside of it. She all but had to suppress a wicked laugh when she saw Villanelle’s knees almost buckle and then she absolutely understood why Villanelle got a kick out of leading and teasing. It spurred her on to continue as she nudged her head underneath, between the knees. Her hair must have tickled Villanelle’s legs as she felt cool air hit her and the motions stopping.

“Eve.” Villanelle whispered out, under her breath. The voice seemed irritated yet yearning and it sent a shudder down Eve’s body.

“Mm?” Eve hummed, pitching her voice higher to make her sound innocent, like she did not know exactly what kind of effect this was having on Villanelle. She wondered if Villanelle knew precisely how much this was doing to Eve. Making Villanelle stumble and gasp was on the same par as the touches from Villanelle. Almost.

“What are you doing?” It was a rhetorical question. The pair of them knew exactly what Eve was doing.

“Well I did say I wanted to fuck you.” Eve said, deadpan. She felt fingers dig into her thigh.

“That’s going to be quite a distraction, you know.” Villanelle spoke in the same low voice. Eve thought of Villanelle not being able to focus on the task in hand and it made her wild, but she definitely noticed Villanelle’s legs shift to bring herself closer to Eve.

“Okay. I’ll be subtle, then.” Eve lied, she most certainly would not be.

“To quote someone as equally as impatient, just get on with it.” Villanelle hissed out.

“As you wish.”

Villanelle was Eve’s first experience with a woman, although she had never really dwelled on sexuality when she had started falling for Villanelle, just simply that she was falling for someone that she should morally hate. Eve was self conscious of how sloppy she may seem compared to trysts with others Villanelle may have had, but feeling Villanelle’s shaky breath against her as she proved to be the distraction was incredibly satisfying and she was enjoying learning Villanelle’s body. Eve was mimicking similar actions to what she could feel Villanelle doing to her, hoping that along the way she would learn what actually drew out cute squeals and breathy gasps from Villanelle. Evidently from what she could feel against her own legs as well as the constant breaks Villanelle was taking just to throw her head back against Eve’s thigh and moan, it was easier than she thought.

Until she felt a finger inside of her to go along with the tongue that was already dangerously intoxicating. Eve’s grip fell from Villanelle’s legs as she threw her head back onto the bed and gasped.

“Villa...Villanelle!” She had her arm in front of her face and was panting, trying to push away the curls that had fallen into her view and were sticking to her skin. Her teeth were biting against her bottom lip and she was sure it would be swollen very soon. She felt the hum of laughter against her.

“Oh, I wish I could see you right now.” Villanelle cooed, and Eve smiled.

“Me too.” Eve only had the energy to pant out two words. What was she agreeing to? Did she agree that she wanted Villanelle to see her, or was she lamenting on the fact that she could not see Villanelle, herself? It was definitely both, but they had time for that. Eve would make sure they could make the time for that, if this is what she got out of it.

Another finger. Villanelle was trying to quell the distraction, as she called Eve and it was working too well. Every third breath was a syllable of Villanelle’s name as she was beginning to lose herself to the waves of pleasure that were making her weak at the knees. She wondered if she would be able to make Villanelle come undone like this and if she did not have the energy to lift her head, she would at least be able to lift her arm.

She pushed a timid finger into Villanelle. It was warm, soft, wet. This part was slightly easier, she knew what she was doing a little more on this front - Niko was not the most satisfying of partners. 

“Eve.”

Eve felt something sharp push into her thigh and she cried out. She assumed it was nails until she realised that she could feel exactly where Villanelle’s hands were. The thought dawned on her. She had made Villanelle bite down into her thigh, not enough to pierce skin or anything like that, but enough to create the dizzying mix of pain and pleasure that so defined their relationship, and, well, if that was not motivation enough to continue. Eve quickly added another finger and curled them inside Villanelle, who panted Eve’s name again. She heard her swallow, as if she were trying to speak, but it was cut off by moans and grunts and gasps and Eve would burst out laughing if she were not trying to hold it together herself.

They fell into this rhythm of both showing off to each other, falling against each other when the other was just too good to keep focused. When Eve finally found some confidence, she used her other hand to brace herself against the bed and reached up again, combining her fingers with her mouth and the position was awkward and uncomfortable and her hip was beginning to stab at her with a dull ache, but she could feel Villanelle’s hair against her thigh and her body was shaking, and that was when Eve knew she had done it.

“Eve, Eve...oh, Eve!” Villanelle was gasping out, and Eve knew that she never wanted her to stop saying her name. She moved away from Villanelle, lying her head on the pillow, feeling very smug with herself, listening to the sounds of Villanelle trying to regain her composure. She went to talk, but all she saw were legs quickly getting up as Villanelle got off the bed and knelt at the end of it, and then hands were on her thighs as she was dragged down the bed, closer to Villanelle. She saw the devilish grin on Villanelle’s face and she knew she had played straight into Villanelle’s hands. All for her own benefit, of course.

“Oh my god.” Eve choked out. Was it possible to feel like a deer in the headlights and yet be nothing but excited?

Villanelle was not wasting any time as she buried her head between Eve’s thighs and pushed her fingers back inside. She was being a little rougher now, pumping and curling while using her tongue to stimulate Eve’s clit. Eve had her eyes shut, an arm thrown haphazardly across her face with the other hand buried in Villanelle’s hair, tugging slightly. She could not think, each gasp or call of Villanelle’s name barely forming on her lips. She buried her head into the pillow, gripping onto it tightly as Villanelle brought her to her climax, calling Villanelle’s name into the fabric.

It took a few moments for Eve to come down off the high and catch her breath before she was able to turn to face her again. Villanelle was watching her with the same admiration and gentle smile that she had given her when they first started this - in the ballroom, the bedroom, on that ferris wheel in what seemed like an age ago. Eve grinned at her.

“I’m glad I got to see that.” Villanelle spoke first.

  
“I’m glad I got to experience that.”

Villanelle lifted her arm up and looked down at her elbow. She peeled off the playing card that was stuck to it by sweat and held it up with a raised eyebrow. She looked down again and Eve felt fingers against her thigh as Villanelle took another card off Eve’s leg and held it up with the other card. There was a beat where they both shared a look before collapsing into giggles and lying next to each other on the bed, laughing wildly for a good few minutes.

“Hopefully Konstantin doesn’t want those cards back.” Eve said once they had calmed down.

“I think we should give them back to him as a thank you.” Villanelle was kicking the pile of cards off the bed and slipped the blankets out from underneath them to cover them up.

“Oh my god, you are so wrong.” Eve shot Villanelle a look, but they were both grinning like schoolchildren.

“God, that was intense.” Eve finally broke the silence between them once she had managed to calm down her breathing. She turned her head to Villanelle and noticed she had her eyes closed. It made her smile.

  
“It was.” Villanelle was mumbling. She seemed close to sleep.

“That felt more like my first time than my actual first time. I won’t be forgetting that in a long time” Eve confessed. The nervousness was there, completely, but so was the love and unlike her actual first time, she felt so in love and so contented, and not let down by anything. It seemed much more like the first time she had read about in books and been expecting. It just took an extra twenty or so years to get there.

“Yes, there were some firsts for me, too.” Villanelle responded. Eve tilted her head, she had assumed Villanelle had plenty of partners previously, she had been there as two girls had left her apartment before and researched into her past lovers. Maybe she was her oldest, or something? She would have to have a word about the old jokes, they were getting a little too much now.

“How so?” She asked.

“I’ve never got to share a moment like this with someone who reciprocated the same love that I do.” Villanelle opened her eyes and they looked shiny. Eve pulled her into a tight hug, one hand around her waist and the other buried into her hair, playing with it to calm her.

“We’ll just have to share as many of these moments as we can.”

They spent the evening in bed. They may or may not have shared plenty of these moments into the next morning.


	22. Happy Eve is what I prefer.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konstantin returns with a sulking Irina and a revelation for Eve which takes her aback. Overwhelmed with concern for Villanelle and exhaustion, she makes a mistake which could lead to a devastating setback.

“Morning.”

Eve opened her eyes, they were tight and uncomfortable. Villanelle was curled up next to her, still sleeping on her chest. She could feel the bed dipping at the bottom and looked forward to see Konstantin sitting on the edge of the bed, looking smug. She wondered how he had the key to their room but decided not to question it. He tended to have his connections, she assumed. She wanted to sit up, but remembered that she was very naked, and so was Villanelle, so inched the duvet up to make sure everything was adequately covered. She poked Villanelle’s cheek with a nail to try and wake her up, but she just grumbled and snuggled into Eve’s arm more.

“She will sleep through anything.” Konstantin said. Eve tried to wriggle her arm free so she could sit up and that woke Villanelle up. Once she let go of Eve’s arm, she sat up, pulling the blanket up with her and covering Villanelle with it unintentionally. Villanelle sat up too, Eve keeping a firm grip to keep their privacy.

“What’s going on, Eve? Oh.” She had noticed Konstantin too and scowled, her cheek in her hand, pouting. Konstantin smiled at her in an overexaggerated way.

“We have to leave now. If we get on the road quickly we can be in our new home by tomorrow afternoon. It is approximately twenty hours by car, so Villanelle will take the first ten and I will take the second. Irina will sit with me.” Konstantin explained. Villanelle threw back the covers and got out of bed, while Eve grabbed onto them desperately to protect her own modesty. Villanelle, sure. There were no more boundaries between them, especially after yesterday’s shenanigans. However, Konstantin had already seen enough of her. He ducked his head away from Villanelle as she headed into the bathroom and Eve heard water begin to run. They both shared an awkward look.

“Ah. I have a gift for you.” Konstantin reached down and picked something up as Eve tried to look over the edge of the bed. He held up a crutch that looked stolen from a hospital - probably was - and leaned it against the bed. Eve, still holding the blanket to her chest with one hand, grabbed the crutch in her other hand to look at it closely.

“I saw you were getting irritated with the wheelchair. We do not have time to work on helping you regain your muscle strength just yet, but I thought this may tide you over for now.” Konstantin explained. Eve smiled at him, she was so thrilled to have her independence back and was grateful for it, regardless of how Konstantin had obtained the crutch. She leaned it against the wall and folded her arms over the blanket.

“Thank you, Konstantin. I appreciate it.” Eve said. He smiled at her, and there was silence, again. She raised her eyebrows, because she was sure the hint was fairly obvious but he still sat on the edge of the bed, looking around the room and then back to her as the faint sound of Villanelle humming over the running shower could be heard. It wasn’t until Eve opened her mouth to speak that he realised that his presence was making Eve feel a little self conscious and unable to move from the bed.

  
“Oh. I will look out of the window, or something. You go and join her to get ready. We do need to leave quickly.” Konstantin got up and it appeared he was admiring the water park from their window. Eve, still clutching the blanket, reached out for the wall to help her get up as she stumbled to the ensuite, only dropping the cover at the door, quickly dashing in.

Villanelle was washing her hair, eyes closed, humming to herself. Eve watched her, not wanting to interrupt. She looked radiant, pretty, relaxed and Eve did not want to disturb the moment. In reality, very little had changed between them, they had just succumbed to the inevitable a little earlier than they had expected. Once the initial awkwardness of a first time had passed between them, Eve quickly realised that was the final door broken down between them, really. Obviously there were formalities like favourite colours or foods or movies that they had not learned, but with the two of them trying to outrun their pasts, they found no need to talk about memories. They had spent the rest of the day getting to know each other physically - well, to the best of Eve’s abilities - with few words exchanged between them apart from romantic banter and confessions they knew already. It was undoubtedly fun but Eve’s legs were a little stiff and her thigh was beginning to bruise under Villanelle’s bite.

“Are you done looking?” Villanelle asked her with an amused grin. Eve shook her head slightly and stepped forward, using the bars to get to the chair as Villanelle helped her on it. She had zoned out, evidently, but wondered how long Villanelle had left her standing there, gazing at her.

“Thank you.” Eve said as she took the sponge from her and began to wash herself. Villanelle rinsed her hair and then dropped to her knees in front of the chair. Eve frowned at her and stopped moving the sponge across her skin as she felt hands on her knees, her hands inching up Eve’s legs, slowly pushing them apart as she bit her lip. Eve looked towards the door; Konstantin was outside, waiting for them. There was no argument against her own personal desire, building in her tummy, but she debated whether they had time for this as she felt wet hair brush against her thigh.

“Konstantin is outside.” Eve hissed.   


“Then you’ll just have to learn to be quiet and keep washing your hair. Let’s hope we don’t have neighbours after last night.”

“You were just as bad!” Eve got defensive. She may have got a little carried away in the end, but they were in the honeymoon suite, so surely it was a little more isolated or soundproof than the rest of the rooms. For her dignity, she hoped, at least.

“Yes but you were still perfectly audible even with your head buried into a pillow.” Villanelle’s head was moving closer to Eve and she gave a preemptive gasp and unconsciously opened her legs herself. Villanelle scoffed and Eve turned away when she realised what she had done, snatching the shampoo bottle.

“You are insatiable!” Eve protested.

_ What? You were having fun. _ The thought crossed her mind, that yes, she was definitely having fun and she was allowed to indulge. She felt the first swipe of Villanelle’s tongue and covered her face with her hands to suppress the moan as Villanelle built up a steady rhythm. She bit down on her lip, hard, ignoring her trembling legs to try and focus on the task in hand.

Somehow Eve managed to wash her hair throughout it and she was secretly impressed with herself.

Villanelle wrapped herself up in a towel and opened the door to fetch the clothes while Eve sat on the chair still, drying her legs off. Their little distraction had taken up a little more time than Konstantin was happy with and while Eve was now content, she was also behind, so she accepted Villanelle’s help to get her into the blue dress and the pair walked out together, hair still wet to find Konstantin packing up the rest of their belongings; namely, the cards. They shared a look and a naughty but subtle giggle.

“You took your time.” Konstantin started

“Eve needed help with her hair.”

“Hm. What happened here?” Konstantin asked. Eve wondered whether she should attempt to answer or let Villanelle, although she worried Villanelle would just tell him the truth.

“Eve beat me at a game and it was boring so I kicked away the cards. We fell asleep before we could pick them up.” Villanelle lied smoothly and Eve was grateful she was being more serious in this instance. She could not face telling Konstantin that the Queen in his hand was stuck to her thigh twelve hours beforehand.

While the others were gathering the bags, Eve reached out for the crutch to try it. Leaning her pressure into it felt a little alien and the grips rubbed against her arm, but it was nice to be able to walk around without clinging onto a wall. She still could not bend very much or be as flexible, but it was better than being wheeled around, although they still insisted on bringing the chair with them. As she sat on the bed, watching the other two packed, Eve wondered about Irina. Was she waiting for them? Did she know who exactly she was waiting on?

“Konstantin, did you ever tell-” Eve began to ask but was cut off by a voice from outside the room and the door opening.

“Dad? What’s taking you so long?” Oh.” Irina came into the room. Significantly taller than Eve had last seen her, Irina’s voice was a little deeper and hair longer, although still as curly as before. She was dressed casually - shorts and floral camisole - and carried a pair of sunglasses in her hand. Her face was one of horror, mouth open, brows furrowed and wrinkled above her nose and a spark of anger in her eyes. Konstantin stopped in place and held his hands up while Villanelle grabbed the bags and looked at her with curiosity and worry.

“Why are they here? Why are we here?” Irina demanded, her voice loud, arms pointing at them like they were a sordid discovery. Eve winced. She was beyond done with any sort of conflict and even on the home stretch, she felt like she was navigating through another argument, albeit not her own this time. She just wanted to be at home, now. She had hoped Konstantin had the courage to tell her, but evidently not. Why was she surrounded by spineless men in her lifetime?   
  


“They are the pick up. I will explain later, you need to go back to the car.” Konstantin gave an exasperated sigh as Irina turned around on her heel and stormed out. Villanelle chuckled while Eve stood up to take a lighter bag herself.

“It’s not funny. What was your question, Eve?” Konstantin snapped, seemingly out of breath.

“Never mind. You answered it.” She spoke humorlessly.

Villanelle skipped ahead of them with their bags in the end, taking Eve’s bag off her and heading to the car quickly. Konstantin was walking at a similar pace to Eve, she assumed he was purposely hanging back at first but as he covered his mouth for his fourth yawn in a matter of minutes and dawdled, she understood that he must have been exhausted. Driving through Russia was no easy feat and he had nobody to take over from him with the drive. She sympathised with him, no matter how selfish he was being, he had made himself responsible for three people in varying levels of physical and emotional distress.

On the other side though, it was his fault they were all in that situation. So the sympathy was only fleeting. Eve thought she would offer him some comfort, however.

“Are you all right?” She asked him when Villanelle had already hurried down the stairs. They were waiting for the lift and Konstantin put his hand against his chest, and Eve’s eyes widened.

“Konstantin.” She spoke firmly, visions of another hospital trip in her mind. He regained his breath as the lift arrived and stepped in, Eve following cautiously.

“Honestly, Eve? I am just really tired. I want this to be over.”   
  


“I can imagine. The thought of getting back into that car makes me feel sick.”

“How do you think I feel?” Konstantin laughed. Eve felt a little guilty, he had not had much of a break for the past two days.

“Did you think you would end up here when you first joined The Twelve?” Eve asked. It was meant to come off as light chatter until they were out of the hotel but judging by Konstantin’s tense expression, the conversation became heavy.

“You don’t really get to pick to join The Twelve. Nobody joins because they want to, especially us at the bottom.” Konstantin explained.

“What do you mean?” Eve was curious. She thought about Villanelle, in prison being hand picked by The Twelve for their training. It sounded a lot nicer than rotting away in a hell hole for the rest of someone’s life, especially someone as young as Villanelle who would have been barely twenty when she got thrown into prison. Eve had also assumed Konstantin was higher up, surely higher than Villanelle, at least.

“I got caught up in a bit of a scandal with the Russian government. I was used as a scapegoat to test The Twelve’s security and being young and excited, I was interested. They said I was good with people so I would have been an asset to The Twelve. I had a lot to lose. It was before I met my ex-wife, but I was romantically involved with an agent in MI5.”

“Was it Carolyn?” It hardly was a surprise. Eve learned very quickly that ‘old friend’ had been a euphemism for hookups and affairs.

  
“Yes.”

The doors of the lifts opened and they both stepped out, silent. 

“The Twelve said the same thing about you, too.” Konstantin said as he held the hotel door open for Eve. He waved at the receptionist who reciprocated his gesture with a nod.

“Wait, what?” Eve stood in place. Konstantin kept walking to the car.

“They were more than interested in you, Eve. We were all aware of it, apart from Villanelle.”

Konstantin fell asleep shortly after they got moving. Irina was silent in the backseat, knees up, glaring out of the window. Villanelle drove silently, focused, eyes rarely off the road unless to flick her gaze at the GPS. Eve could tell that she did not know where they were either and was clinging to the maps to figure things out. She was more cautious than before. Eve imagined her pose mirrored something like Irina’s. She was staring out of the window too, elbow leaning on the door, head in her hands. Apart from Konstantin’s rather loud snoring and groans, and the hum of the engine, the car was silent.

What Konstantin said was going around her mind over and over. The Twelve were interested in her. The Twelve were monitoring her skills, probably keeping a file on her. Her mind was buzzing with too many questions, and if she were at home she would be in front of her wall, pinning things to it, making connections, perhaps even considering seeking out The Twelve to know why, hatching some barbaric and wild plan to infiltrate them to take them down from the inside. Why her? She was not skilled in combat, sure, she knew a couple of languages and was able to gather some data, but Eve could not think of one remarkable thing about her apart from that people tended to listen to her, but she just assumed that was luck and her feistiness. 

She thought about Konstantin comparing her to him. Is that what they would have made her? A handler? Villanelle’s handler? She looked over at Villanelle who was entirely absorbed by the road and noted her precision, her determination, her focused nature. She wondered how The Twelve were coping without their star assassin. Surely they had hundreds working for them, but she had only ever heard about Villanelle’s kills. Maybe she was the scapegoat? Her flair and flamboyant kills covered up the more important, discreet kills. Who knew? More importantly, why was she troubling herself with this?

However, Eve just could not get the array of questions out of her mind. Were they still after them? Could Konstantin just be leading them to their deaths? Was Carolyn aware of their interest in Eve? Why did it suddenly feel like she was so trapped in this car? She rolled down the window, desperate for some fresh air. Being back in the car made her feel like she was still so far away from their goal, the hotel was a small taste of the life and freedom they could enjoy if they could just shake this constrictive, dangerous past. She wanted it back.

“Are you not feeling well? Shall we stop?” Villanelle asked her, softly. She was still driving, still focused, but she would occasionally look over at Eve with concern. Eve shook her head, but she could see herself in the mirror. Laboured breathing, panicking eyes. She was fooling nobody.

“I’m fine.” She said too quickly to avoid suspicion. Villanelle dropped it regardless. They both knew the other was not to be pushed, they would find each other when the time was right. Villanelle focused on driving, Eve sank back into the void of her thoughts, as much as she did not want to.

She knew they were interested in her through her connection to Villanelle, and Villanelle’s deep regard for Eve. Everybody could see that; it was why Carolyn was always wary of allowing Eve to pursue her once she knew, it was why Konstantin picked her as his only hope for saving Villanelle (amongst other reasons). Eve a mere two weeks ago would be connecting puzzle pieces to use Villanelle to get to The Twelve, but when she looked over to her now, all she could see was the woman she loved and the person she had laid her life on the line to protect. Villanelle’s hand went to the handbrake as they rolled towards a red light. Eve’s hand grabbed her wrist, hard.

“Eve.”

Eve retracted her hand quickly. She was, quite frankly, confused and very, very overwhelmed. She wanted a chance to talk things through with her before they continued but she was very aware of Irina and specifically, what Konstantin had told her - to tone down the lovey dovey gestures. Irina had murdered her mother’s boyfriend because of this, and the last thing they needed was to antagonise the already furious baby assassin.

Wait, was Irina also being watched by The Twelve? Eve closed her eyes. She needed to stop thinking about this before she threw Konstantin and Irina from the car and just ran away with Villanelle. Not that either her or Villanelle would be complaining. She closed her eyes.

“Fuck!” Eve’s eyes flew open to Villanelle hitting the steering wheel, swearing. Konstantin also had been woken up, groaning.

“Villanelle?” Eve asked. She noticed two people in uniforms walking over to her window. She smiled awkwardly at them and leaned back for Villanelle to take over.

“Do you speak English?” Villanelle asked. The man stepped back while the woman leaned into the car.

“There has been an accident. We are waiting on more support. It will be a few hours.”

There was a collective groan in the car. Eve felt dizzy. Extra time onto their trip was her worst nightmare. She wanted somewhere to stay, now.

“Is there any way we could get food or anything?” Eve asked. Neither of them had eaten breakfast and she was not sure about Irina, either.

“There is a small shop about a ten minute walk. Maybe if one of you go. We will keep you updated.”   
  


The pair walked away and stopped at the car behind them. Villanelle threw herself back dramatically on the chair, shaking it.

“Calm down. It isn’t like we haven’t spent days in this car already. Who wants to go and get something for us to eat?” Konstantin interrupted. Eve turned around and held her hand out to him for some money.

“I’ll go. What does everyone want?” Eve jumped on the opportunity. She was craving just a few moments alone, she could not remember the last time she had a moment alone. Maybe the ballroom? That was almost a week ago. She missed being able to retreat into a space, alone.

“Eve, that’s not a good idea. What if you get tired?” Villanelle spoke. Eve was already opening the car door and accepting the money from Konstantin.

  
“I need some air and to walk. I’ll be fine. I’ll just get a load of stuff that’ll keep for the next day or so.”

Eve made it three minutes down the road before turning back to the car. She was still a little wobbly on the crutch and she really, really needed to talk to Villanelle and to have her calm her down. She wanted some time on her own, yes, but she accepted that they would be waiting until they hit Romania to have that time. Come to think of it, were they even out of Belarus yet? How many hours had it been? It was incredibly hot now, it was definitely nearing the afternoon if not already well into it. As she approached the car, she noticed Villanelle getting out and walking towards her. She stopped and let Villanelle approach her.

“I might struggle carrying everything.” Eve explained. Villanelle offered her arm out and Eve looped hers through the gap as they walked.

“You’ve been acting weird, Eve. Tell me, please?” Villanelle’s voice was gentle, almost begging.

“After we get the stuff.”

Eve was almost robotic in the shop. As Villanelle grimaced at more cardboard sandwiches, she was picking up water, drinks, snacks that kept well in heat and some ice-cream cones as a peace offering for Irina and to cure her dizziness, be it blood sugar or the heat. She noted the clock on the wall, it was one in the afternoon. She was surprised that she had slept for hours. Villanelle took the bag off the counter as Eve took out the ice creams for her and Villanelle.

“How long was I out for?” Eve asked as they walked out of the shop.

“About five hours. You sleep heavily when you get stressed.” Villanelle noted. Another thing she had learned about Eve in the time they had spent together. It made her smile, the fact that they could pick up on each other’s moods wordlessly. She was usually able to conceal herself well, or was it that she just dropped her guard down around Eve? She was happy with either.

“Do you want the ice cream now or when we get back to the car? I’m having mine now.”

“Sure. Now is fine.”

They unwrapped their cones in silence. They were just simple vanilla cones with a chocolate coating around the top of the wafer, but the sweetness steadied Eve’s mind.

“Do you remember when we had to go to that forest because you wanted me to sort out that other assassin? You slept then.”

“I had just hired you to kill me. You did have a knife between my boobs only minutes before.”

Villanelle laughed. Eve was trying to balance eating the ice cream while leaning on the crutch to walk. Villanelle was looking around and pointed at the barrier between the two sides of the road.

“Would it help to sit there?”

Eve looked over at it, but shook her head. It had no support for her back. The two of them continued walking, Villanelle was hanging back. She was waiting for Eve to talk first.

“Konstantin told me that The Twelve had files on me. They were considering me as an option, to be something like him. I’m scared that they might still be following us. If they don’t want to kill us, they want to use us, which is something more valuable. Do you think they want me on side to get to you?”

  
Villanelle threw her ice cream to the ground and caught up with Eve, putting both of her arms around Eve’s shoulders and leaning into her. Eve relaxed into her embrace, leaning her head back onto her shoulder. She had consumed her ice cream pretty quickly and all that was left was the cone. Her head was sore, she closed her eyes for a few seconds.

“I guessed something like that could be the problem. I don’t think Konstantin would have brought you along just to set us up. I thought maybe you were getting too close to something he was involved in. He’s smarter than he pretends to be. I think a bit like you.”

“What do you mean by that?” Eve pulled away and turned around to look at Villanelle. She bit off the top of her cone, feeling the residue of ice cream dripping down her thumb. Villanelle took her hand and licked away the drop. Eve ignored the impulse to snatch her hand away, instead just giving her a puzzled look.

“Shouldn’t have thrown yours in the road. It was a waste.” Eve scolded Villanelle. Villanelle just licked her lips and grinned.

“Behind your simple passcodes and muted fashion tastes, you have a mind unlike most other agents. You’re able to organise intelligence level teams out of drugged up divorcees and men who still live with their mothers. I saw what you were working with in that office. They have seen your work. You are a lot more powerful than you think, Eve and only sometimes do you realise it. You would have made a good handler, most likely. Perhaps even more.”

“Do you think they wanted me to be your handler? You would have listened to me.” Eve considered. Villanelle shook her head profusely.

“God. No, definitely no. They would never put together two people who had a close bond together, it would compromise the entire pairing. Often assassins will be asked to take out their own handlers and vice versa if somebody steps out of line. It is hard to do that with two people who are close. Konstantin and I were close to the line, you and me would have never worked. You would have handled somebody else but most likely been called in if I ever stepped out of line. You probably would have been Konstantin’s boss once you had been trained up enough.”

“What happens if they come for us, Villanelle?”

“They will kill Konstantin. I don’t know about Irina, but they will most likely use one of us to get to the other.”

“Then what?” Eve was panicked. How could Villanelle be so calm?

“Then we die. We do not fall for their tricks. If they threaten us with killing the other to force us into working with them, we say no. They will kill us both, then. Dead weight.”

“You wouldn’t do that, though. If they threatened to kill me unless you worked with them, I know you would work with them and I know if they held you up, I would do the same. I can’t do that.” Eve fell against Villanelle. Thinking about her death was too much and she could feel her eyes sting.

“You saw what I would do if I ever thought you were dead.” Villanelle held her, supporting her back. The crutch and the ice cream cone fell to the ground.

“Not quite, I was unconscious.”

“That’s not funny, Eve.”

“I’m sorry.”

There was a pause between them. Eve snuggled closer to Villanelle. They probably had an audience, but Eve did not care. As long as they were further away from the car for Irina not to see, it was not as if any cars would be using the road for some time. She had blocked out her surroundings.

“Eve, I would like you to be a bit more optimistic. Remember what you said to me after you got shot? Not by me. You said to think about the when and not the what if. All you have been doing is talking about things that could happen, when what could also happen is that we make it to Romania safely and without any problems. I am excited for that.” Villanelle was still holding Eve up, but moved her away slightly so the two of them could look at each other. Eve could feel that her face was damp and Villanelle pulled a tissue out of her pocket to dab at her face.

“Why do you have a tissue?”

“You are tearful lately. I always want to be prepared to cheer you up. Like you did for me.”

“I wasn’t very good at that. I didn’t help you, I just fell for you and dragged you on a bunch of stupid dates.” Eve scoffed.

“And that cheered me up. So it worked.”

“Stupid dates?”

“Yes. Having somebody who wanted to learn what I liked and how I worked as a person, too. You know when I’m sad and I’m happy, you know how to read me just from the way I sit, sometimes. You notice what I watch and what I look at and what I show interest in and you do things only to make me happy, sometimes. If this whole trip was just to cheer me up, you have done all that and more. Can you believe that I will keep you safe, and maybe cheer up a little too? I don’t mind sad Eve because she is cuddly and often sad because she is worried about me, but happy Eve is what I prefer.”

“Villanelle, will you kiss me?” Eve asked, breath shuddering. She wondered how she had felt loved before she met Villanelle. Nothing compared to this. She felt as if her legs were falling out from underneath her and she was ecstatic. 

“I will never turn down that, but are you sure? We are quite public here.”

  
  
“I don’t care. I need you.”   
  


Villanelle took Eve’s face in her hand and kissed her next to the road. It was soft, steady, gentle. Eve sighed and leaned into her, looping her arms around her neck. Villanelle moved back when she could feel Eve’s teeth against her bottom lip and Eve looked down. She had gotten a little carried away. As she stepped back, she knocked into the bag full of snacks that Villanelle had still managed to maintain a grip on.

“We should probably get those back to Irina and Konstantin.” Eve said. Villanelle reached down to pick up the crutch and handed it to Eve.

“It seems none of us got the ice creams after all. I can imagine the other two are melted.” Villanelle laughed as they walked back to the car.

When they got back, they saw Konstantin out of the car, peering down the large hill next to the motorway. He had one hand on his head and the other gripping his chest. Villanelle threw the snacks into the car and Eve tried her best to reach him quickly.

  
“Irina’s gone.” Villanelle stated.

“Konstantin? Where is she? Are you okay?” Eve asked, reaching a hand out to hold his shoulder.

“She ran off down the hill. I cannot keep up, I will fall. We need to get her back, someone needs to talk to her. Please. Please, we cannot leave her, she is in danger if she runs too far from us.” Konstantin was begging, his voice was wavering. Villanelle looked concerned but Eve, while she could understand Irina feeling displaced, felt an overwhelming rush of anger take over her. She was tired now, she just wanted this trip over and had very little time to deal with her tantum. Maybe in Romania, yes, but not now, when they were at the side of the road and on top of a very steep hill. She braced herself on her crutch and began to make her way down the hill.

“Eve! It’s dangerous, what if you fall?” Villanelle screamed out.

“You need to stay here with him. She’ll listen to me. I know she will.”

She was already walking away from Villanelle, carefully watching where she placed her feet and the crutch. Five minutes down and she could see Irina sitting midway down, curled up into herself, watching the horizon.

“Irina!” She called out to her, and Irina got up and looked as if she was going to run off again. As she went to move, Eve stepped forward onto a rock that dislodged itself from the ground. She felt her feet fall out from underneath her and closed her eyes as she felt herself hit the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose we need to talk.
> 
> If you're here for the fic, never followed me on twitter and don't particularly have any interest in any future projects of mine or the whole fandom stuff, then please know that babysitting grief will be finished, and that I really appreciate your support throughout this whole thing. Your comments do very much cheer me up throughout this whole thing and I've absolutely loved writing this and seeing everybody's appreciation for it. It makes me very happy. Thank you.
> 
> You're welcome to click away now, because the rest addresses fandom events and future fic projects and how it may impact it. Have a lovely day.
> 
> \---
> 
> Okay, so my disappearance from all KE social media might be apparent, or maybe some of you have not noticed. I decided to duck out for a variety of reasons but the whole Jodie thing was a firm push. Before I started writing again after a pretty grim university experience, I was an alternative fashion blogger. The reason I got into KE was because the Instagram scene went viral in the fashion community I was a part of and I was attracted to the character of Villanelle, who was outrageous with her fashion, queer, a bit of a misfit but deep down just wanted to find somewhere she belonged. That character was deeply relatable to me, and it stung to find out that she might be being played by someone who was happy to turn a blind eye to the sort of political policies and people who would at the very least be negative to someone like that but at the very most, bully someone like that.
> 
> I'm not the type of person who can condone the whole "just because she associates with someone like that doesn't mean she's like that" because I've tried that with friendship groups and ended up getting bulled out of them for being queer or being a bit of an outcast. I was also heavily involved in sports at university myself and witnessed the lad culture that happened in sports teams and while I cannot tarnish everyone with the same brush, it brings back pretty grim memories.
> 
> I also found myself in a situation where when I tried to speak up about being like this, I was shut down because people would rather stan an actress than support a friend. The fact that I lost friends over this who kept me happy during quarantine hurt quite a bit more than I thought.
> 
> At the same time, however, the doxxing and the way the information was obtained just doesn't sit right with me. Obviously the context is important, we deserve to know who is playing the LGBT+ characters we covet, but I felt it was a lot. I don't stand by how the fans got the information at all and it also made me think about my own role on social media and the drama I get involved in. It's kind of a catch-22, I'm happy I don't have to sit through Free Guy now, but I don't like that her personal socials were raided.
> 
> I may come back to twitter. Originally there were two versions of this chapter written, one with the twelve twist, one without. I still don't know if adding the twelve twist was a good idea or not. Usually I can consult on twitter but this time I just had to trust myself. Hopefully I did ok.
> 
> On a more personal, circumstantial note, with lockdown ending, I have to return to work. I balance two job and a university degree and often work seven days a week for twelve hour shifts. I unfortunately won't have as much time to write, with lockdown giving me the chance to explore writing again, something I haven't done for four years. I do have another AU planned out, looking more at alternative culture in London and post-divorce family structures featuring Eve as a single parent navigating an almost custody battle against Niko who wants his son raised with traditional values, compared to Eve who wants a diverse upbringing. All featuring rebel tattoo artist Villanelle who encourages Eve's son to chase his dreams and to help set her up with his hot single milf mum, haha. If you'd be down with still reading it if there are longer gaps between updates, please let me know. 
> 
> I'm really grateful for everyone who has supported anything I write so far. The comments make me so happy and seeing people excited for when I update, realising that hundreds of people are subscribed to this fic is wild and makes me giddy and has kept me going through this whole mess. There is only one chapter left of main plot with two post-Romania chapter, so of course I'll be finishing this, at least. If I go for anymore, hopefully I can balance my time and hopefully there's still interest.
> 
> We're all a bit taken aback by everything atm, but I hope everyone is okay and honestly, just thank you for everything. I really love you all dearly and could go on about it but I am running out of characters, so thank you and I'm excited to hear your feedback for the next couple of chapters, even if you do decide to clock out after this fic is done and read nothing else.
> 
> I hope you're all doing well. :) x


	23. We’ve finally made it, Villanelle.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve loses her temper with Irina’s tantrum at the final hurdle and relies on dumb luck, her own murderous past and an empty prayer to get her through.

“Ow. Help me up, will you?”   
  


Eve was relieved to have only slipped on to her backside and had slid down the hill a little. Her arm was sore from dropping the crutch and her hip gave its usual ache when it got disturbed, but no serious damage was done. Irina was watching her, hand pressed against her mouth, not moving and Eve glared at her as if to urge her to actually help her. She might have not caused too much harm, but it still hurt and she could not get up by herself without potentially ripping her stitches and she could not bear the ‘I told you so’ she would inevitably get from Villanelle. She wanted to snap at Irina but as she looked up into Irina’s eyes, she recognised the same confused fear that she was so familiar to. It was the same as Villanelle’s expression when she had first picked her up at the airport.

“Irina. Please. I can’t get up by myself, I’d really appreciate it.” Eve spoke softly, almost begging. She really was stuck.

Irina rolled her eyes in the typical teenage dramatic way and walked over to Eve, dragging her heels. She helped her into a sitting position and passed her the crutch that had slipped out of Eve’s grip as she fell. Eve set it down next to her and turned away from Irina to pull up her dress and check her stitches. It was an overwhelming relief to find them in place and although she was sore, there was no lasting damage, nothing to derail their journey. She did not want to find herself in a hospital bed again. Irina went to walk away, but Eve held her hand out to touch her knee.

“Will you sit with me?” Eve asked her. It was an impulsive move, but she knew that someone had to get through to Irina, and Eve was the perfect amount of determined and irritated to try and offer her a deal. Irina paused but then threw herself down on the ground next to Eve. Her continuous dramatic gestures made Eve laugh and she hung her head to conceal her amusement. Irina sat with her knees up, arms folded on top of them, looking away from her in a sulk. Eve was useless with moody teenagers, she had often zoned out when Niko spoke about his job and the tantrums he was used to dealing with. She was as disinterested in his work as he was with hers, they often spoke over each other about their own lives to blur out having to address the other. She tried to pick apart the conversations to think about what to do now, but it was a distant fog, her mind had already forgotten them, deeming them useless to her. If only she knew.

“Eve!” It was a desperate yell from Villanelle. She could hear the sound of sliding rock and she looked up at Villanelle who was beginning to scale the hill. She held her hand out as a motion to stop her, because she did not want to overwhelm Irina. Konstantin was also struggling and she needed Villanelle to keep him in check and keep an eye on the traffic.

“I’m fine. I’ll be up in the moment. Deal with Konstantin. We don’t want to be making a stop to the doctor before we get to Romania.” Eve replied. She chose not to look up at Villanelle so that she would focus on Konstantin and she also felt a small twinge of embarrassment; she wanted to be independent but her injury was still a reality and will be for a while longer, at least. Irina turned to face her with wide eyes. Eve leaned in closer to her. She wondered exactly how she was going to play this now that she had caught her. Apart from knowing that she was intelligent but a typical teenager who had also had their life torn apart by The Twelve, Irina was completely anonymous to Eve. It reminded her of working out Villanelle when they first met, although Eve had a lot less patience and a few more scars, unfortunately.

  
“You’re stressing him out. He’s holding his chest.” Eve gently scolded her. Maybe guilt tripping would work? Irina turned around to her with a scowl and Eve raised her eyebrows. Intelligence usually came with some form of empathy and emotional range, with a dash of rational thinking. It depended on what was more powerful in Irina’s thoughts at this time.

“He ruined my life! I didn’t want to come here.” She shouted. Eve scratched out the idea of guilt tripping from her list and could feel the pool of irritation fill in her mind. Intelligence or not, Irina was an unsettled teenager first.

“He’s not innocent. But he’s trying to protect you. He’s trying to protect all of us.” She took a breath and continued despite Irina’s protests. Sure, Eve was not the biggest fan of Konstantin, but he had saved their lives multiple times even if it was only for his own benefit. She owed a fair amount to him and she was still relying on him to keep her safe for her own selfish reasons, too.

“He’s selfish. He only cares about himself.” Irina was looking away again. Eve did not care enough to get her attention, leaving her to sulk.

Eve paused to think. She could not disagree, because they were here through Konstantin’s poor decisions. However, blaming him entirely would be like blaming herself for Niko’s death purely for getting involved with Villanelle. Nobody predicted themselves running from The Twelve with at least half of their car scoped out for their recruitment drive. She sighed, again. She did not have the mental energy to spar with a fourteen year old.

“I won’t disagree that he cares for himself. He could have just run away on his own, though. He didn’t have to bring us.”

“I don’t understand why he had to bring you two along anyway. Why her, of all people?”

Eve assumed ‘her’ meant Villanelle.’ The other daughter - because their relationship was like that and Irina and her were so closely similar they were like sisters. There was undoubtedly jealousy between the pair of them and Eve could definitely understand why either pair felt that way about the other. Irina was Konstantin’s daughter by blood, by family. Villanelle held a certain disdain for the concept of traditional family and liked to vie for attention in unconventional ways. A body in the window, a flashy gift in a lockpicked apartment. Maybe she just needed to be an open book for Irina to try and win her understanding and her trust.

“What did Konstantin tell you?” Eve needed to know how much Irina was aware of before she continued.

“Nothing. He just told me to pack a bag and get into the car before I got into serious trouble.” She huffed, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her arms on them.

Eve would ask about the serious trouble later, although she already knew the deal. She decided to fill her in on her and Villanelle’s love story, although she skipped out the lovey dovey parts on Konstantin’s past request. The last thing they needed was Irina to turn villainous again and shove Eve down the hill and into a ditch. She swallowed and thought about a way to tell the story while remaining concise.

“I don’t really know where I should start. My husband got killed, so I started to investigate who killed him. Your dad turned up at his wake in a rush, begging me to take Villanelle off his hands for a few days and I agreed in return for information. I babysat Villanelle for a week and in that time we were chased by The Twelve, the bad guys, and were forced into hiding until they caught up with us and I got shot. I thought they wanted to kill me, first and assumed they had hired a shit shot. Turns out they were interested in recruiting me and bringing Villanelle back onto the team so Konstantin brought us with him to protect both him and us. We took a detour to come and get you, but there were problems with my identity so that’s why he left us in a hotel in Minsk.”

“You babysat her? She’s an adult.” Irina liked to show off her fake maturity. Eve was unimpressed.

“Shit happened. She was in a bad way.” Eve said, quoting Konstantin’s words exactly. It was not down to her to divulge Villanelle’s secrets, even though they had become her secrets, too.

“And how long have you been together?”

“What do you mean?” Eve pulled back to frown at her for a second but relaxed. She supposed it was obvious, the two of them were so enchanted by each other that it was hard to associate one without the other.

“I saw you grab her hand. I saw the way you two looked at each other. It was kind of obvious.” Irina laughed and Eve matched her smile. Irina seemed pleased, as if she had decoded a big secret, so Eve humored her to try and win some trust.

“Sorry. We thought we were being subtle. Secretive. We’ll tone it down so we don’t annoy you.”

“That and the matching necklaces.” Irina smirked. Eve looked down at her chest and fiddled with the pendant. She supposed they did make it completely obvious, it had become so normal she had forgotten about most things. The necklace, the touches and the soft words became second nature.

There was a beat, the only sound heard was a lone bird in the wind. Both of them were gazing out onto the unfamiliar horizon and it was at that point Eve realised she had no idea what country they were in anymore.

“Where are we?” She asked Irina.

“Ukraine. We passed the border an hour ago.”

“Ah.”

Another pause. Eve was getting more and more impatient now, her hip was stinging and she just wanted some painkillers, some good food and to be on the road to get this final stretch done. She was going to be in a comfortable bed tonight, brat or no brat.

“What was the serious trouble you mentioned?” She asked Irina. She saw Irina stiffen and turn away from her again and at this point, the sulky teenager stuff was getting old. Irina must know that she was not special with her murder, knowing exactly who she was sharing the car with. It was a familiar scene for the others on this journey. Even for her, she had joined the murderers club now all those months ago, although she had repressed that memory along with most of what went down in Italy. At least she could think of it now without biting back bile, which was an improvement, or perhaps a sign she was walking further away from morality.

“Okay. You don’t want to talk about it. Can we at least go back to the car?” Eve realised she had snapped a little and raised the pitch of her voice, combining it with a smile to try and smooth Irina over. 

Irina was silent. She got up to walk away but Eve snatched her wrist and pulled her back down without thinking about it. Irina looked furious but Eve just dug her nails in a little more to pin her in place. She leant in closer to her, so they were merely centimetres apart and Eve spoke to her in a low voice, still gripping her wrist.

“Did you not hear me? I got shot. I’m still healing from being shot. Villanelle has gone through enough shit because of your father and honestly, if it was down to me, I would leave your arse here on the side of the road and drive off. You’re damn lucky it’s not down to me though. I am the last person to defend your father but he is trying for all of us and your little stunt almost had me and him in matching hospital beds. Do you want that? Do you?” Her tone was harsh. Irina shook her head quickly and Eve let go of her hand. There were visible imprints in her skin from Eve’s nails. Eve smiled at her, dripping with faux-sweetness.

“Good. I’m so glad we understand. I’m sorry we had to get off on the wrong foot.” She rubbed the spot where her nails were mere seconds before and Irina snatched away her hand.

They were quiet again. Irina made no attempt to move. Eve regretted threatening her, she was balled up now and as far away from Eve in her body language; she was turned away, facing away, tilted to the side. Enough to hide away from her but just close enough that she was not leaving herself entirely defenceless. Eve rubbed her face with her hands. This seemed to be another case of baby steps.

“Irina, I’m sorry. I let myself get affected by my emotions and took it out on you. You need to talk to someone, if not me, then your father. He’s so worried about you. He says you’re in danger. We’re all trying to protect you, but he is devoted to keeping you safe. I promise you when we get to Romania, you will have all the time in the world with him. Villanelle and I are just kind of here for the ride. We’ll be out of the way for most of the time.”

Irina shifted back to face Eve. It was a sigh of relief for Eve, who was already thinking of how to get herself back onto Irina’s good side. She looked back up towards the car and could see Villanelle and Konstantin sitting on the side of the hill, looking down at them. She waved up to Villanelle, who lifted her hand back. Konstantin did, too.

“Look, Irina! Even now they’re watching over you. Look at his face, look how worried he looks. Why won’t you talk to him?” Eve started to quiz Irina again. She knew about the incidents that led her here, Villanelle had told her about Irina murdering her mother’s new partner. She debated whether she should reveal that she knew this information but decided against it. Eve was presenting herself as a neutral party between the two sides.

“He’s angry at me. I killed someone. Dad shouted at me in front of the whole prison and blamed me for not being able to go to Cuba anymore.”

It gave Eve the final piece of the puzzle she needed. Irina’s pathway reflected Villanelle’s route almost exactly. Irina would have been committed to a prison indefinitely, or at least for a couple of decades. The Twelve liked to pick their assassins from prisons and train them up. She knew Irina was beyond intelligent for her age through their brief encounter in the Russian tea room over a year ago and how she had shown fearlessness and charm in the face of Villanelle’s gun. Konstantin had brought her along because he knew she would have been picked either as a target or a recruit. Just like Eve.

“You’re judging me too.” Irina said.

“I’m not. I’ve killed someone too. I’d be surprised if anyone in that car hadn’t killed someone.” Eve laughed. Villanelle had killed, it was her job, she had seen her do it. Had Konstantin? It was more likely than not, or at least, he was very much responsible for ordering who exactly has the trigger pulled in their face.

“Who did you kill?” Irina had a small smile on her face. She was curious, so Eve decided to share her story. She had never spoken about Raymond with anyone, even when Villanelle had brought him up when they smashed the car up. She had buried the memory like the axe she had buried into his shoulder, scared for the rush of bile in her throat and the bloody images that would haunt her. Sometimes in the past six months they had escaped in her dreams and had left her staggering to the bathroom, drenched in sweat, shaking and crying over a glass of water and her sink. That was the image that made her panic now. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady her and clear her mind.

“Someone who had the same job as your father. He was attacking Villanelle, strangling her and she was already blue in the face. I had already left another man for dead so I could save her earlier in the day and I thought I needed her. I chopped him up with an axe used to set off the fire alarm in the hotel. It was, yeah, I don’t know. I never really thought about it, I think I detached myself from the situation, my mind disassociated the action from me. I think I was more angry than anything when I came to because Villanelle let herself be strangled by him to test me. She had a gun, she could have shot him, but she baited me into killing him because she wanted to see if I could hold my own. We had been abandoned then, too. By everyone. She was planning to run away with me. She’d picked Alaska for some reason, I have absolutely no idea why. I was so out of it in shock that I just followed her until I realised what she had done. It brought me to my senses but I ended up with a bullet in my back when I said no to her.”

“Then why are you dating her now? It seems a bit silly to date someone who wanted you dead.” Irina was sneering at Eve with her so-called philosophy and she hated it. She hated that she was divulging some of the most personal aspects of their relationship to a bratty teenager she barely knew when she had not even processed them with Villanelle, yet. She was so, so desperate just to get away from the rocky waters and back on track for their peaceful goal. Irina truly seemed like the last hurdle now, especially knowing that The Twelve did not want to kill them after all. It threw up another question on why they had tried to shoot her, but she imagined it was to make her more compliant and easier to move. 

“Well?” Irina asked, almost sarcastically. Eve was liking her less and less.

“I understood. I understood why. In her way, killing Raymond meant I was committed to her. It tied me to her world irreversibly. I couldn’t get out unless I followed her and if I didn’t, I would fall, which was what happened.. We were both using each other, she wanted me and I wanted to get ahead in my career. She had feelings for me and she told me them but I shut her down. I think I was the more selfish one out of us, even though she was literally trying to own me. When I learned a little more about her, I understood why she did what she did. I think that’s something you should ask Villanelle more than me though since that’s her business. Who did you kill?”

“My mother’s boyfriend. He tried to act like my father and steal my mother. He was too romantic and touchy towards her. I hated him and I saw that Dad was beginning to feel like he was my father more than he was. I wanted to show him that I was capable of doing whatever he could do, too. It also meant he could get back with my mother.”

“If you want to spend time with him so badly, why are you so resistant to this trip? Villanelle and I will be more than happy to leave you two be so you can fix your relationship.”

“In whatever backwater town he is dragging me to? I was going to one of the best schools in Russia and now I will be working on a farm or something.” Irina ranted. Eve ran her fingers through her hair, frustrated. For an intelligent teenager, Irina was really reliant on stereotypes and facades of superiority. She was trying to be wise beyond her years and Eve wondered if she was just defensive because she knew she was wrong.

“Not everything is like the movies where only the capital cities have an internet connection. Online classes. Homeschooling, commuting into Bucharest if we aren’t too far away. Libraries, online book shops, copyright free PDFs. There will be enough for you to work on your education and then when you’re old enough for college, you can probably sort out a new identity and go. You won’t be able to use the name Irina, but you’ll be fine. Konstantin appreciated your intelligence. He would never ask you to give that up. Maybe if your life was in danger, but would you rather be alive and uneducated or intelligent but dead? I know what I would rather.”

“It’s his fault my life is in da-!”

  
“Irina! Can I be honest with you?” Eve cut her off. She had grown exceptionally tired of her repetitive ‘woe is me’ bullshit considering she was sitting there with a literal gunshot wound on her hip that throbbed because of Irina’s selfishness.  _ Like father, like daughter _ , her mind remarked but she shoved the thought out of her head before it slipped from her lips.

“Fine.” It was through gritted teeth.

“I blame Konstantin for a lot too. If he hadn't plucked Villanelle from that prison, I would be at home with my husband debating why chickens lay eggs covered in shit, or something. I would be at my boring but safe desk job and going out on Fridays with my coworkers and my best friend would still be alive. I would be playing bridge on the weekends with my husband and then hosting dinner parties in a house and sleeping in a bed and not the back of a car, and I certainly wouldn’t have a body scarred by gunshot wounds. Honestly, though? I’m just bored of having to explain myself to people. I picked this when I pursued Villanelle. You picked this when you murdered your stepfather-”

Irina glared at Eve and opened her mouth to speak. Eve held up her hand to stop her, she was not letting a bitchy teenager interrupt her when she had gotten into full flow of a motivational speech.

“No, no, hear me out. What I’m trying to say is, sulking about what happened won’t bring it back. Looking forward to what might happen if you try is a much more realistic solution. You’re not giving him a chance to explain. He can’t right now because we’ve all been on the road for the best part of a week and we’re tired. We want to get to safety and then we can all sit around and have this all out with each other and get it sorted. Don’t you worry, too. He’s got the three of us to explain himself to, so we will have your back, too. I can imagine he won’t stand a chance against the three of us, especially since he knows we could put him in the ground if we needed to.” Eve laughed. Irina looked appalled and there was silence again.

“Bad joke?” Eve asked.

“Very bad.”

“Sorry. What have you got to lose, though? If you run away here then you leave yourself open to being attacked by anyone and really, we don’t know where we are. If you come with us, you get to spend some time with your father, hang out with me and Villanelle if you want to, we can gang up on him to get our way and it’s a fresh, safe start. I’ve also got a job in a bakery, apparently, so we get to eat lots of cake, too. What do you say? Help me up?”

“Eve! The traffic is moving, you need to hurry!” Villanelle shouted down to them. Irina got up quickly and Eve held out her hand to Irina.

“Come on. Please. Come with us. Help me up.”   
  


Irina just looked at Eve’s hand.

“Eve! Irina! Come on! Please.” Now Konstantin was calling out to them.

“Irina. I need help to get up anyway, even if you’re going to run off. Please help me.” This was the first time Eve had felt helpless for a few days. She hated that she was begging to Irina, but as she took Eve’s hand, Eve was grateful to her. She kept ahold of it and Irina frowned again.

“You coming?” Eve asked with a gentle smile. Irina nodded and the pair made their way back up the hill to the car.

“Oh thank God.” Konstantin said as he noticed Irina was next to Eve as they came up the hill. Irina dawdled awkwardly in front of Konstantin but he just smiled at her and enveloped her in a bear hug that she leaned into.

“I’m sor-” She started, but Konstantin cut her off.

“There is nothing for you to apologise for. It’s my fault. When we get there, I will make it up to you. Lots of shopping trips and books for you to study. You two are not invited.” He nodded towards Eve and Villanelle, who were standing next to each other, Villanelle’s arm around Eve’s shoulders.

“Why would we want to come anyway? If you two are out of the house it means Eve and I can-” Villanelle started but Eve quickly pressed her mouth to Villanelle’s mouth with a sweet smile.

“I don’t think they want to know, Villanelle.”

“I was going to say it means we can watch a movie together but if you want to think like that, then that’s on you.” Villanelle smirked and Eve just climbed into the car with a bemused expression. The others were chatting outside for a few moments as Eve settled into the seat, setting the crutch down onto the floor. She had no idea what had actually settled Irina into her way of thinking, or maybe it was just her realising there was no way of survival for her, but she could finally relax. Eve was not particularly religious, but she said a silent prayer to whatever God or deity would hear her. 

_ Please let us get to Romania in one piece without any more setbacks. I would do almost anything. _

“So, how did you convince Irina to come back up? I think I might need some tips.” Konstantin asked as he was getting into the driver’s seat. Irina and Villanelle settled in the back, either side of Eve, much to her surprise. She picked up the crutch and slid it across to the front seat to give them more room. Irina had pressed her head against the window to look out of it as Konstantin began to drive and Eve could feel a hand on hers, concealed by their legs. She looked down at it with a warm smile and flipped her hand so they were holding it. Irina seemed too occupied by what was outside to even look over at them and Eve inched her dress over a little to cover their hands more.

“We shared the stories of our first murders. It’s an absolutely fantastic icebreaker.” Eve told him. In the mirror, she could see Konstantin almost choke on his awkward laugh.

“Really, Eve? Who was your first murder then?”

“My only murder was Raymond. I cut him up with an axe.” Eve emphasised the ‘only,’ she was still fairly innocent compared to most of the car’s occupants.

“No, you got him in the shoulder.” Villanelle added.

“Only on the first swing. Give me a break, it was my first go.” She laughed and Villanelle bit back a smile.

Eve’s attention turned to Konstantin. The three of them in the back knew each other’s sins, but surely Konstantin must have gotten his hands dirty at some point. The way he was avoiding the conversation now was a dead giveaway and the question hung in the air uncomfortably until Eve was courageous enough to voice it.

  
“So who was your first kill, Konstantin?” Eve asked. Even Irina had turned away from the window in fascination and Villanelle had a wicked grin on her face, she looked proud that Eve was gutsy enough to speak the unspeakable.

“I was a handler. I only gave the orders. I never got involved in the assassinations myself. Too much pressure on my heart.” Konstantin shrugged off the question but Eve watched him squirm in the chair.

“So you never killed anyone?” Eve pressed him for information. He was silent and the other two women were watching the scene unfold with curiosity and caution. Eve continued to push him.

“Who?”

“Back in the day I killed a rogue MI5 agent. Someone who ran the Russian desk. He was an asshole, always really sexist to Carolyn and when he just got too close while drunk on that hotel balcony in Moscow, I...it allowed Carolyn to become the head of the desk which made my life easier for me.” Konstantin explained. His knuckles had gone white from gripping onto the steering wheel.

“Ah, so this was when…” Eve trailed off. Probably not the best idea to mention his past lovers in front of his daughter.

“Yes. That was a factor. Now we all know. Can we move on? Change the topic?” He snapped at them and they drove on silently for another hour and a half with only the sound of rustling snack packets and bags being passed about as they devoured cakes and pre-prepared food to make up for their lack of breakfast.

Eve had found herself being used as a pillow by the time they had rolled up to the Romanian border. Both of her shoulders were occupied, Villanelle leaning against one, arms in Eve’s lap, and Irina apprehensively leaning against the other, snoring lightly, body angled away from her. She smiled, she enjoyed the comforting touches from them both and the sound of their sleeping relaxed her as they were crossing their final hurdle.

“Irina seems to like you, Eve.”

“Apparently I make a good pillow.” Eve looked at Irina who had shifted closer. It made her smile as she noticed Irina seemed more relaxed in her sleep. She did pity her and apart from her tantrums, Eve thought she was a cool kid. A victim of circumstance, much like the rest of them.

“No, I mean it. She’s an independent kid who is strong in what she thinks. It takes a lot to convince her. I wonder what clicked.” Konstantin was asking her again for parenting tips. Eve was not sure if telling him she had threatened her until she was scared was a good idea.

“I have no idea. I kind of shouted at her, I mean I apologised also, but I think I’m just stressed. I just want this over with. I’d winded myself a bit with the fall and the wound is also a bit sore now.”

“Honestly? That’s why she liked you.”

“Really?” Eve said with surprise. She thought she had got Irina back in the car with fear and callousness, not respect.

“She is not a very emotional kid, well, she is but I don’t know how to explain it. She doesn’t really like a lot of comfort and as the British like to call it, mollycoddling. She appreciates being told how it is. Honesty. That’s why I think she likes you. She has had a lot of adults lie to her a lot, me especially. I think you being truthful to her was what made her appreciate you. I suppose you’re very good at reading situations, Eve. I can see why The Twelve were interested in you.” Konstantin explained. Eve thought about the list of lies Konstantin had told and, still reeling from the information about her, decided to bring it up again while the others were asleep. She reached for the iced tea she had bought and a packet of crisps.

“I have some questions about that. Why did you tell me that you brought me along because Villanelle liked me?” She asked, popping a crisp in her mouth. Irina stirred at the rustling sound so Eve made the effort to chew as quietly as possible.

“I mean it was half true. The Twelve’s interest in you started because of how captivated Villanelle was with you, and likewise you with her. They were interested in how you interacted with people and also how you had a lot of control over some people, especially her. That would have been incredibly useful to them. I also knew that you would be more willing to come along if Villanelle was involved and likewise with her. So playing matchmaker was an added bonus. I’m happy it was, in a way. You two might be annoyingly in love but you both make a good pairing and bring out the best in each other. Apart from when you both are angry at me. That is difficult to navigate. Unless you are hungry.” He laughed to himself. Eve exhaled, she did not expect such an honest answer first time around.

“I see. So there was a big ulterior motive behind it, but deep down you still wanted to set us up?” Eve leaned forward, interested. Was Konstantin just a big softy underneath? She could see the signs of it.

“Something like that.”

“What about your relationship with Carolyn?”

“What about it?” Konstantin got defensive.

“Was it love?”

“It was until she found out about how tied up I was with The Twelve. Surprisingly she has always been on the side of the good guys and was disgusted when she realised how many of her colleagues I had been involved in murdering. At that point I had met my wife, anyway. I wish it could have worked but then we just fell into a friendship with, uh, benefits.”

Eve laughed. She was surprised that Carolyn was not as bent as the rest of them but quickly shook the thought of their tryst out of her mind. She had already seen what Konstantin had, she did not really need to know how he used it.

“...well, until I slept with her daughter.”

“You did not!” Eve’s hand shook and she spilled iced tea down her dress. She quickly screwed on the cap and dabbed at it with some of the tissues from her first aid kit they kept tucked in the back, sighing. This poor blue dress, it had seen a lot. While it was Villanelle’s, Eve had definitely marked it as her own.

“There was nothing romantic. I was just keeping tabs on Carolyn and her daughter does like to overshare.”

“She’s like thirty years younger than you! How desperate for information were you?”

“You are not the one to chastise me for pursuing someone younger, no? Look at the person leaning on your right shoulder.”

Eve looked over. Villanelle was lightly snoring, mouth open, leaving a damp patch on Eve’s shoulder. She leaned her head on Villanelle’s, nuzzling against her and took one of the hands that Villanelle had placed in her lap.

“It’s a little different though.” Eve argued. She loved Villanelle and saw a future with her. Konstantin and Carolyn manipulated each other.

“Is it? We can discuss this with some whisky and without Irina around once we get to Romania. Which will be soon, considering the queue.”

“Huh?” Eve looked out of the window. They had joined the queue for the border, edging closer and closer. She could see the entrance sign for Romania out of Villanelle’s window and was overcome with a surge of excitement like a child on Christmas Day. She shook Villanelle awake with excitement, although Villanelle did not match that excitement, groaning and pushing Eve away and in turn waking up Irina, who matched Villanelle’s lack of enthusiasm.

“Look, look! We’re almost there, we’re almost there! The border is there, we’ve only got a few more hours! Villanelle, we’re almost home!” Eve was beaming, beyond ecstatic. Villanelle, who still had her eyes shut, pressed her hand to Eve’s face.

“Be quiet, you’re a child! I was sleeping.” Villanelle moaned at her, scowling. She slumped back on Eve and closed her eyes again, holding her forehead.

“Shush, Eve! That was a rude awakening.” Irina joined in, sulking as usual.

“You’re both boring. How long, Konstantin?” Eve put her arm around Villanelle but went to move it when she realised that Irina was watching them. Irina turned away from them but she could see a small smile pulling at her lips. Maybe it wasn’t love in general that she had a problem with, per se.

“Six hours. Eight if we stop for dinner, which I think we should.”

“We have snacks though. I just want to get home.” Eve said. Villanelle lunged for the bag and started pulling out what was left, splitting the remaining cereal bars and crisps with Irina.

“We have eaten nothing but snacks for the past few days.” Konstantin reminded her. Health had been an afterthought for this car journey. Konstantin gave their names at the border along with their passports. Along with Evelyn and Eleanor, Irina had been given the unfortunately too close name of Iris.

“It sounds like an old person name.” Irina complained.

“Then swap it with Eve...lyn. Perfect.” Villanelle joked. Eve nudged her in the ribs and Villanelle feigned pain, doubling over. She kissed Villanelle on the top of her head.

“For someone whose job was to charm people, you’re a shit actor.”

“Thank you, Eve. But I don’t need to act with you.” Villanelle reached back up and giggled.

“I changed my mind. You two can tone down the romance.” Irina said flatly, although she was still half-smiling. Villanelle pulled Eve into an overdramatic hug and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek. Eve wiped at her cheek and Irina pulled a face.

“Nope! We’re going to be super lovey dovey.” Villanelle said with glee.

“Absolutely not.” Eve chimed in. She could see Irina was still happy, but she did not want to push it. Konstantin was watching them closely in the mirror as he passed through the border and onto the highway.

They compromised with takeaway in Bucharest as Konstantin continued driving. The accident had added on another hour and a half to their journey and between toilet breaks and traffic, they had driven almost solidly for a full day. Nothing was open in the early hours of the morning apart from truck stops and McDonalds, which was their dinner-breakfast of choice. 

Finally, they were finally down to the last hour now, after eight hours of mostly quiet driving, with a little small talk here and there and a fair amount of sleeping. Eve was too nervous to focus on anything else. She had switched places with Villanelle and had her face pressed against the window, watching the horizon go by. Apprehension and nerves took her, but so did optimism and relief. They were almost at where was going to be home for the indefinite and while Eve wanted to throw herself into the happiness that came with it, she was still cautious. It all seemed a little too straightforward.

A carton of French fries was thrust into her face by Villanelle. She took a handful to keep her quiet and consumed them in silence, watching the car drift around the winding roads outside the capital, eyes fixated on the scenery. She wanted to absorb everything, remember it all. This was home now and she wanted to wrap herself in it all.

“Your leg has been bouncing for the last hour.” Villanelle stated. Eve turned to face her, mouth full of chips.

“Has it?” Eve looked down at her leg, making a conscious effort to pin it in place.

“Excitement or nerves?” Villanelle put a hand on her knee.

“A bit of both.”

“Me too. I think more of the first.”

“What about you, Irina?” Eve leaned over to bring Irina into the conversation. Irina perked up at being included.

“I’m fine. You two are acting like babies.” She said, trying to act cool, but Eve noticed her being fidgety, too.

They turned onto a main road that was slightly unstable. The road was bumpy enough to denote that it was one rarely travelled down, remote enough to show it was a village, but the array of small shops and market stalls that lined the road showed that it was well frequented. They passed a shop where an older couple were moving tables and putting out a chalkboard sign. Konstantin slowed the car, and waved out of the window.

“Konstantin! How are you? Welcome back!” The man returned his wave and Eve smiled out of the window. She spied bread and cakes on display in the window. Was this the bakery she would be working at?

“We are good! Looking forward to some rest. Eve, this is the bakery!”

Eve waved at the couple and they smiled back at her. It was beginning to seem more and more real, now. They had arrived at the village and it filled her with glee.

“It’s four in the morning. They’re getting an early start.” Eve commented as Konstantin pulled away from the bakery.

“These sort of farming villages run with the sun. They’re often early birds.” He explained. Eve grimaced. She was certainly not an early bird and liked to burn the midnight oil. This life seemed so far from what she was used to but it made her smile. Perhaps this was exactly what she needed. A simple life, a simple routine, a simple relationship. She closed her eyes and pictured herself at the bakery. No crutch, no injury, just her in some relaxed clothes and a cute maroon apron that matched the storefront, serving cakes and prepping pies and sandwiches. Villanelle would come in after a day’s work herself and order a coffee and a pastry that Eve had made. Eve would excuse herself for a break and sit with her, Villanelle would call her apron cute and she would snuggle into her, the pair of them enjoying their drinks.

“Hey. Head in the clouds. We’re here, come on!” Villanelle was shaking her and she opened her eyes to face her. Irina and Konsgantin were already out of the car and unpacking. Villanelle climbed out of the other side and came around to open Eve’s door, holding out her hand.

“Come on, you can sleep when we get inside.” Villanelle said. Eve took her hand and let herself be pulled up, linking arms with Villanelle as they both stood outside and admired the cottage.

It was small, quaint but had a sizeable garden that Eve could see led to the back. There was a porch too with a small but tatty wooden bench near some flower pots. She looked over at the garden, it had been clearly cultivated for some gardening and the growth of vegetables. There were two sheds too, one with wire around it, more suitable for livestock. Maybe Konstantin would get his beloved chickens after all. Eve spied a half built swing bench and made it her mission to fix it up when she was well enough.

She looked up at Villanelle to find her frozen in place, eyes wide. She dropped Villanelle’s arm to take her hands instead, stepping in front of her to meet her gaze.

“Villanelle? What’s wrong?” She asked her, rubbing the backs of her hands with her thumbs. Villanelle swallowed, sniffing.

“It’s nice but it reminds me of my...the home in Russia.” It was a shaky whisper. Eve pulled her into a hug, arms wrapped firmly around her back as she could feel Villanelle’s head dip towards her shoulder.

“Listen, yeah, you listen to me. It might be similar but I promise you we will fill this house with all sorts of lovely memories. You will help me build that swinging bench and cook lots of stuff we will probably burn. We will gang up and beat Konstantin at lots of awful card games while remembering that we had sex on those cards and trying to remind ourselves that we need to replace them but probably never getting around to it. We will have sex everywhere, trying to keep quiet when we know Konstantin and Irina are in but taking full advantage and pissing off the neighbours when they are out. We will all watch shitty films together and share stories and help Irina with her homework and toast marshmallows together and have dinner parties and all fall asleep on lazy Sundays. We will have a room and a bed together that won’t change every few days and a slight dysfunctional but much better family that we love and that love us, in time. We will hug and kiss and laugh and cry and argue and hold each other through stories and bad times and good times. I will stamp my mark on any bad memories that you have to turn them into good ones, to remove anything you associate with the past and make you associate it with me instead. Because I know you’ll do the same for me but also because I’m selfish and want you to think of nothing but me forever now because I will think of nothing but you forever. Come on, let’s start our new life. We’ve finally made it, Villanelle.”

“I love you so much, Eve.” Villanelle mumbled into Eve’s shoulder.

“I love you a lot, too.” Eve and Villanelle shared a soft kiss before she led Villanelle into the house, the both of them joining hands. The crutch was left in the car.

Once they had gone inside, Eve watched Irina and Villanelle bicker over the bigger bedroom with a smile because she knew Irina would not win - plus it was two against one, with Eve sharing the bedroom too. Konstantin had taken the old pantry and turned it into a small bedroom for him. He was giving the other two a tour of the house but Eve had eyed the living area and a small patchwork sofa and made a beeline for it. Her eyes closed as soon as she had lay down.

A while later she felt her head being lifted up and settled into a lap, fingers in her hair, gently playing with it. Eve hummed, she was content as she heard chatter come back into the room as Konstantin and Irina settled onto the other sofa. Eve opened her eyes to see Irina looking baffled at an old VHS tape.

“What’s this?” She asked, holding it up, and Eve instantly felt ancient.

“I don’t know.” Villanelle responded and Eve shared a look with Konstantin who looked equally as horrified and was also considering his age.

“It’s what movies used to be kept on. You have to rewind them manually.” He explained. Irina set it down on the coffee table.

“Ew.” She voiced her disdain. Eve looked at the VHS and noticed a book on the coffee table next to it. She reached out to touch it, moving it closer. Villanelle, once she realised what it was grasped it, flipping through it happily.

“You got the scrapbook!” She exclaimed and Eve pouted. She missed the fingers in her hair. Villanelle who has noticed Eve’s expression, put it down and returned to the task in hand and Eve let her eyes close again.

“I guess I have a lot to explain…” Konstantin started.

“Not now.” That was Irina.

“Don’t ruin the moment.” That was Villanelle.

“Let’s just enjoy the start of our new lives.” Eve also chimed in.

“Okay, okay. I am going to sleep. I drove for almost a day straight.” Konstantin said. Irina sloped out behind him to unpack, too, leaving Villanelle and Eve alone.

“Shall we head upstairs?” Villanelle asked. Eve shook her head, she was content where she was. They were quiet apart from Eve’s heavier breathing. Villanelle’s massage was making her feel incredibly sleepy.

“Eve, you cannot sleep down here.” She chastised, albeit playfully. Eve rolled over and wrapped both of her arms around Villanelle’s waist, snuggling closer.

“I’ll sleep anywhere as long as it’s in your arms.”

“Eve, that was disgustingly sappy.” She heard Villanelle giggle.

“You love it.”

“I do.”

“Like you love me.”

“I do. Do you love me?”

“Of course I do!” Eve opened her eyes. Were they really asking this now? Their love was like breathing, something that was a given, something that rarely required thought and something that would only end when either one of them died. Eve was sure of that. She would never love someone this intensely again.

“It kind of sounds like we’re getting married.” Villanelle made a joke after a while. Eve was already so close to sleep.

“Maybe some day.” She mumbled into Villanelle’s stomach.

As she felt arms slip underneath her to carry upstairs, a quick image of the two of them in matching white dresses flooded her mind before she fell fully asleep. 

_ Yeah. Definitely some day. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after writing most of this chapter on my phone I have a new respect for anybody who writes fic on their phone. MY WRISTS.
> 
> please excuse the typos, I managed to get most of them but one or two might slip through.
> 
> we done with the main story though, woooo!! epilogues are left.
> 
> thank you for everyone’s support with the recent chapters and the laptop saga. I have an appointment on Monday to hopefully fix it if it’s not too much money!


	24. Here is what I vow to you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later. Villanelle and Eve make the ultimate commitment and see a few friendly faces again.
> 
> A/N: grab a snack and a cup of tea because this is 11,000 words of absolute fluff. Content warnings for PTSD and suicide mention (brief, not developed)
> 
> I would also recommend pulling up the ballroom playlist for certain scenes.

Eve was sat in front of a mirror as Irina fussed over her. She looked at her through the reflection and admired how put together she looked compared to how Eve felt. The blush pink dress and neatly curled hair suited her, the flowers looking elegant rather than cutesy. Irina had changed, she was sixteen now and taller than Eve, her hair hitting her shoulders and her features sharper. Irina was fiddling with her hair now, scooping it up into a neat bun in her hands before letting it down and drop down the back of her neck.

“Do you want it up or down? I think it looks nice either way, but it is warm today.” Irina asked her. Eve shook her head.

“She would absolutely kill me if I had it up, especially today. Maybe just neaten it up a bit?” Eve smiled at Irina, and herself through the mirror. The last thing she needed was Villanelle sulking as soon as she came through those doors. This day was for her, most of all. Irina pulled Eve’s hair to the front and ruffled it a little. She took a white fascinator off the vanity and fixed it to Eve’s hair. Eve reached up to touch it and wondered if it was too much. She had always preferred to be understated and even though the accessory was small, and she did not mind it, she wondered why she felt a little foolish. Was it down to the first love feelings even though this was her second go? It reflected the similar feelings in the ballroom, all that time ago. The same nerves as she stood in a red fancy dress, waiting for Villanelle to accept feelings she already knew she had. Hopefully without the bullet this time.

“I don’t know.” She said to Irina, pulling a little at the fascinator.

“I think it looks nice. You didn’t want a veil.” Irina reminds her.

“Veils are for princesses and first timers. This is more of a formality.”

“Or because your girlfriend dragged you into a bridal boutique after seeing some nice dresses.” She could see Irina’s smirk in the mirror as she adjusted the headpiece.

“Yeah, that.” Eve laughed at the memory. Once a month, the four of them would make the hour and a bit drive into Bucharest once they had gotten paid from their various jobs. Eve worked at the bakery, Villanelle did a lot of odd gardening jobs and landscaping while Irina tutored the village’s younger children for a bit of extra money. Eve enjoyed spending her money on practical stuff or was happy to be dragged along by her more than eager girlfriend wanting to explore boutiques, old furniture stores and patisseries. Irina often left them to it, she liked libraries, music and coffee shops.

A few months ago, Villanelle had stopped in front of a bridal boutique. Eve had raised her eyebrow with an amused expression as Villanelle was admiring a sparkly white dress and veil set in the window, holding onto her hand. She wondered if Villanelle was missing her usual extravagant dresses and lace as their budget just simply did not accommodate for that, anymore - although Villanelle worked with what she had. 

“Villanelle, is there something you’re trying to tell me?” Eve asked, only half joking. She wondered of the logistics of it, they were both considered dead or missing and technically did not exist, but she imagined if Villanelle was after her hand in marriage, it was not for the legal benefits.

“They have a sale on. We could get matching ones.” Villanelle stated and looked at Eve with a mix of fear and hope. It was the closest to a proposal she was ever going to get but it made her smile so hard that her cheeks were sore.

“Okay. Yes.” She said, and Villanelle hugged her in front of the shop before taking her hand again and leading her in.

Eve had picked the cheapest dress on the rail. It was a tea-length white dress with a fitted bodice, small straps to hold it up and a flared skirt. It was mature, practical with good material, but the cut hugged her curves and even as she looked in the mirror, she felt pretty in it. She walked over to the full length mirror to straighten herself out, put her hands up to her face and smiled at herself. Was it vain to actually call herself pretty? Not at all, she knew who had finally given herself the confidence to feel that way, not just some half hearted ‘you look fine the way you are.’

Eve had paired the dress with some simple white low heels with a strap and Irina tied a corsage on her wrist. She had no ring and she knew they would not be ending the evening with one, but she had prepared a gift for them both, anyway. It sat on the dressing table in a small box with a ribbon. She knew Villanelle would like it.

There was a gentle knock at the door before it opened and Eve looked over. In walked Dorothea, the elderly co-owner of the bakery Eve worked in and someone who had become a firm friend, almost like an aunt to Eve. She gasped when she saw her and took both of her hands, cooing. Eve felt as if this was her first marriage, her last one had been overpriced and uncomfortable and Eve worked hard to impress the family she did not care about, but here everyone looked at her with genuine awe and love and Eve was not putting on any sort of performance.

They had been hesitant to announce any sort of marriage after they had decided they wanted to get married as properly as they could. They were planning on something low key and private, but it had slipped out in conversation to Dorothea and her husband. The next thing they had known was that the town had rallied around them and organised it themselves, itching for a celebration and a party. Villanelle and Eve had been accepted into the fabric of the town, they were well liked and everybody had been kind to them and the family almost instantly on arrival, many of them seeming like long lost relatives who treated them like cousins and godchildren. Marriages were rare here, too, with most running off to bigger cities. Everybody here was either elderly or a child, and one thing Eve had learned when she moved here was that everybody loved a celebration and would find any excuse to line the streets to have a party.

The community hall had been offered as a venue, they had more than enough food to cater for everyone for a week, the hall had been adorned with flowers, homemade decorations and bouquets had been handpicked by anybody that had a flower garden here. Dorothea had brought Eve’s bouquet and handed it to her and Eve took the small box and tucked it amongst the flowers.

“You look simply stunning, only you could make a dress like that work.” She had said and Eve was not sure if it was a compliment, but Dorothea rarely minced her words. She decided to smile and take it as one.

“Thank you so much for everything. I’m so grateful!” Eve could feel herself getting emotional already and Dorothea pulled out a handkerchief from her pocket to give to Eve.

“Not yet. You haven’t even got married, yet! Don’t ruin your makeup.”

Eve looked to the door and noticed that Konstantin had appeared in the doorway, holding a camera - his retirement project, apparently, although he mostly took photos of his vegetables and his chickens. He beckoned over to Irina.

“Villanelle needs some help with her dress. She is in your room.” Irina nodded and left the room, but Konstantin stayed in Eve’s room. While Dorothea straightened out her already straightened dress, Eve wondered why he had not followed Irina out and lingered in the doorway, fiddling with the camera.

“How is she?” Eve asked. She wondered if anybody had come to visit her, too. She had made friends with the shopkeepers and old ladies who she delivered groceries too, but she knew Villanelle was awkward and found it hard to make friends outside of polite gestures she had picked up from Eve.

“Nervous. She’s not very chatty. We took some pictures, but she’s kept her eyes fixed on the door. I think she could hear the laughter coming from your room. She asked me to come and take some pictures here, too. She would like to see them.” Konstantin explained. Eve sighed, she felt apprehensive for Villanelle. Obviously she wanted to see her but Villanelle had been a stickler for the traditions. Eve had the something old - her - and something borrowed - the corsage - down, but Villanelle had been insistent on the new and blue, too. Eve walked over to the desk where she had a notebook for her own casual studies and tore out a page, scribbling a quick note for her.

_ Can’t wait to see you. Konstantin says you’re nervous, and I am too, but don’t worry. I love you! Eve x _

She looked at her small box of trinkets that she had collected from vintage shops and gifts over the past couple of years and selected a small slice bangle with two delicate pink gems. She slipped the note through it and handed it to Konstantin.

“Something old and borrowed. Give it to her, see if it calms her down. Anyway, let’s get these photos done.” She said with a twirl of her dress. Konstantin started taking photos.

She posed with her bouquet with Dorothea and the both of them smiled for the photos. She felt a little awkward but she had seen how Konstantin had learned and was grateful to have some photos of the day, too. After a few pictures, he stopped and looked down at the camera.

“I think some natural ones would be nice, too…” He suggested, trailing off. Eve guessed he had been researching a bit of bridal photography when the two of them had come home clutching bridal bags and blushing smiles. She remembered going through so many false candids at her friends’ weddings.

“Sure.” Eve humoured him. She sat down and Dorothea played mother, sorting her already groomed hair. She fiddled with the hairpiece and plucked out the feather from it.

“You looked like a bird. Much better.” She said, and Eve turned to look at her and burst out laughing, the awkwardness dissipating. She did not even notice Konstantin taking photos for a few minutes before she rushed him back to Villanelle with the note and the bangle.

“I’ve probably rubbed it in with how much fun I’m having. Go and talk to Villanelle and tell her it will be okay. I will head over to the town hall now, make sure she does not look out of the window.” Eve instructed.

“She won’t. Villanelle seems to have followed every rule in the book even though this is probably the most unwedding wedding I have ever attended.”

“Hey. We’re trying our best.” Eve knew what he meant and while she secretly agreed, she knew how much this meant to Villanelle. She also wanted to enjoy this, too.

“I know. It suits you, I like it. Less pressure, feels more real. Nobody to impress. Do you have the…” Konstantin asked. Eve lifted up the box she had nestled in the bouquet.

“Yes. Hopefully she likes it. I got them specially made. I know we said no gifts, but I think this is important. The other ones are green by this point but she still won’t let go of them and I damaged them back in the day, too.” Eve explained, walking towards the door. Konstantin followed her and leant against the door of Irina’s room, where Villanelle was to make sure she didn’t come out at a certain moment.

“I’ll see you there. Send Irina over when she’s done, please!” Eve said as Dorothea made final adjustments to her outfit. The two of them walked out of the house together and as she stepped outside, she breathed in the fresh air.

“I’ve done this before, why am I so nervous? This was meant to be more relaxed, this time.” Eve confessed. Dorothea took her hand and rubbed it.

“Because you love her.” Was her curt reassurance, but it made sense. Eve always appreciated how she got to the point and did not dance around with her words. She took her arm and nodded.

“Yeah. I hope she likes it.”

“We hope you like it, too. A lot of them have been up since before dawn to fix everything up for you two! It has been twelve years since the last marriage here, most go away to get married. They are all excited for a party.”

“Well. Let’s give them a party.” Eve declared, holding her bouquet up in celebration as they walked the ten minutes to the community hall on the main road. Eve was a little wobbly on her shoes, it had been years since she had worn heels.

Many of the residents were already there, a lot of them merry already, judging by the half empty alcohol bottles on the tables. There was a makeshift aisle between the tables but it was not arranged like a traditional church, with the guests seated around tables with food to pick from. Eve liked it, it was more informal and made the transition from ceremony to party easier. The doors were open which led onto a balcony that had been adorned with fabric and balloons and Dorothea walked out there to join her husband who was fixing the final touches. As Eve walked in, the hall erupted into cheers and many of the residents rose to their feet to greet her, some already throwing confetti. Eve put her arms across her face to brace against the confetti and the array of hugs and cheers but she was laughing, too.

“Hey, hey! She’s not here yet, we need to save it!” She playfully scolded the tipsy guests and walked down the aisle to where one of the teachers at the local school was wearing a suit, playing registrar for the day. He took her hand and kissed it.

“You look wonderful, Evelyn!” He told her. She shook her hand away politely. She had gotten used to her alias but had told most of the residents just to shorten it to ‘Eve,’ anyway and was often taken aback when someone used the full name Konstantin had given her. Villanelle would often take ‘Elle’ as her name as it was the middle ground between Eleanor, her alias and Villanelle. Oksana was dead, they agreed. Eve had fallen in love with her as Villanelle and according to her, she liked hearing it roll off Eve’s tongue. She had only used Oksana to put Villanelle down in the past so stuck with it, too.

“It’s Eve. Just call me Eve, please. Thank you so much!” She said as others echoed the sentiment. All eyes were on her for now, but she could not imagine for very long. She looked nervously at the door, hoping Villanelle would not be much longer. She wondered what sort of dress she had picked out and prayed Irina was not having too much trouble getting her into it. One of the residents offered her a beer and even though she took it and had a small sip, she still warned him to be careful.

“We’re not even married yet! It’s not even midday!” She said, taking another sip and putting it down on the table that had been marked for them.

“It’s a celebration! Enjoy it, a little booze makes the vows slip out easier. I should know.” He said to her, taking ahold of his wife’s waist and bringing her close towards him. She giggled and leaned into his shoulder. They were also teachers at the local school, but Eve was relieved. Compared to the stiff, boring teachers she was used to hanging around with all those years ago, they were fun and kind and deeply in love, even after twenty three years of marriage. She thought back to the ballroom and her tipsy confession. There was definitely some truth in what he was saying but she wanted a clear head for this as she touched the vows in her pocket.

The door opened again and everyone fell silent, quickly rushing back to their seats. Eve’s heart pounded as she gripped her bouquet and shuffled into her place as the minister took the papers to his chest. It was dead silent, all Eve could hear was her heightened breath. She exhaled behind her bouquet. It was time.

In walked in Irina and everyone fell about with laughter and Eve loosened her tense shoulders, putting her head into her hand. Irina looked confused at the reaction and walked down to join Eve. She appreciated the comedic timing but also knew with Irina’s arrival, Villanelle and Konstantin would not be far behind.

“Are they drunk?” Irina asked Eve, gesturing to the guests who were already dancing and loudly chatting.

“Yep. Apparently they’ve been at it since the morning. Weddings are a big deal here.” Eve responded, hushed, leaning closer to Irina.

“Even ones that aren’t quite official?” Irina asked.

“Apparently yes. Where is she? Do I look okay? Is everything okay with her, too?”

“She will be ten minutes. Your note put a stupid giddy grin on her face and she was insistent on getting here immediately but she’s got one hell of a train on the dress she picked. It was hard to get it here and Dad isn’t very light handed with it, either. It took me half an hour to steam the dress this morning and now it’s creased again.” Irina started ranting. Eve raised an eyebrow at her perfectionist attitude and Irina clasped her hands over her mouth.

“Ah, no. I spoiled the dress!” She exclaimed. Eve did not mind, she knew Villanelle would probably pick something a little more extravagant than her. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander, trying to picture what Villanelle looked like but she found she could not conjure up an image. All she could find was her excitement and the smile the pair of them shared before they spend their night in separate rooms.

_ “I can’t wait for this. I’m so happy you suggested for us to do this, I can’t wait to show how much I love you tomorrow,” Eve had told her, holding onto her hands in the privacy of the hallway. _

_ “Me too. I can’t wait to see how beautiful you look in a wedding dress and to be able to dance with you again.” Villanelle had said in return, leaning in to kiss her. Eve felt a tongue tease her lips and she pulled away as Villanelle pouted at her. _

_ “No! Tomorrow, we can do this tomorrow. Be patient, baby.” She had said to Villanelle, giggling. Villanelle whined, both of them knew what being called ‘baby’ did to the other. _

_ “I love you, Eve.”  _

_ “I love you too. Now go to sleep and tomorrow you can call me your wife!” _

They had grinned and waved at each other before closing the doors for the evening. Eve remembered the pang of loneliness for it was the first time they had been apart in the evenings for more than two years, but she clung onto the hope of the wedding and that it would be the last time they would be apart. She had stayed up half the night and used her slight sadness to write her own vows instead, reflecting on the past two years of their relationship. They spoke a lot about the time they spent on the road together, the memories tinted with rose, the lessons they had both learned about each other.

Both of them had come to the same conclusion. Regardless of what happened, none of them regretted a thing.

The room had gone silent and she felt Irina move to stand next to her.

“Eve. I think she’s here.”

Eve opened her eyes, gripped her bouquet to her chest and took a deep breath, facing the door of the hall as it creaked open. Everybody in the hall rose to their feet and gentle classical music that Eve could not pinpoint started playing quietly in the background. Slow footsteps and the shadow of white tulle appeared in the doorway, accompanied by Konstantin, her arm linked with his.

Villanelle was wearing a white strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline that hugged her torso tight and flared out at the waist into layers of white fabric that trailed on the floor. Her face was semi-concealed under a veil trimmed with floral lace that matched the embroidery of the bodice on her dress. Eve could not see her shoes but they clicked against the wooden floor so she imagined they had a slight heel, although not much as she only matched Konstantin’s height. Her hair was down and loosely wavy. Eve’s mouth dropped open slightly and her mouth became dry. She was nothing short of radiant as she approached Eve. There was a small smile on her face, one that hinted her anxiousness but it was soft and warm too, full of love.

“Holy shit.” Eve said. There was a buzz of laughter from the crowd and even Villanelle’s shoulders bumped up and down. Irina was facing the floor with a comical look and Konstantin was pressing his lips together to hide the smile he was fighting. Eve buried her face into her bouquet for a second before regaining her composure. She had definitely said that louder than she thought.

Once Villanelle had crossed the aisle and settled in front of Eve, the two of them admired each other with shy smiles.

“Hi, Eve.” Villanelle whispered.

“Wow.” Was all Eve could manage back. It made Villanelle giggle as she took her hand.

There was a moment of silence and Eve wondered why the minister had not spoken yet. She glanced at the crowds who were all watching them intently and Konstantin was looking at Eve, nodding his head towards Villanelle subtly. She was a little confused but tried to hide it. Irina took the bouquets from the two of them and whispered in Eve’s ear.

“You’re meant to lift her veil.”

“Oh. Right. Okay.” Eve said and as she reached up to move Villanelle’s veil, she noticed her hands were shaking a little. Villanelle took her hands in hers and Eve could hear the minister ruffling the paper for the vows he had most likely downloaded from the internet and in this moment she wanted to bin them all and kiss her bride now because they already knew how much they loved each other.

The vows were reeled off robotically but it was obvious neither of them were really listening. They were too distracted by gazing into each other’s eyes, they had barely broken eye contact for the few minutes the minister had rambled on for. Eve rubbed Villanelle’s hand with her thumb and as it got onto the “I do’s,” Eve reached into her dress pocket - fifty percent of the reason why she picked this dress - and pulled out some notes that she had prepped at three this morning after not being able to sleep.

“My Villanelle. I decided to write my own vows because we don’t really do cliches and I wanted to have something a little more meaningful between us. Here is what I vow to you.

I vow to spend every single night I can with you because these were written this morning because one night away from you was hell. I vow to keep my hair down when you ask me to because honestly, I am running out of hair bands and I worry about how many I am throwing away. I vow that the last pastry in the bags I bring home will always be yours without a fight.”

Villanelle squeezed the hand she was holding and grinned at Eve. There were chuckles from the audience and Konstantin was rolling his eyes. Perhaps he was a little defensive over losing the claim over the last pastry. Eve waited for the laughter to dissipate before continuing on with the speech. She took a deep breath, she had gotten the more light hearted stuff out of the way and her voice wavered a little as she began the next part.

“I vow to be honest with you always, even when I think hiding the truth from you protects you because I know that you would rather know the truth and be hurt by it than be protected by a lie. I vow to share all of my and your emotions and to be whatever support you need me to be, whether it is a shoulder to cry on, an attempt at advice or an encyclopedia of jokes that only I find funny. I vow to always be patient with you like you were for me back when we started this adventure and I wasn’t able to separate the past from the present. I vow to never use our pasts as a crutch or something to throw at each other. Apart from that time you stole the sausage roll from me because I am protective over food.

I suppose most of all, I vow to love you truthfully and fully until the very end.”

Eve had struggled to look at Villanelle through the speech, feeling the weight of her lonely morning words dawn on her and by the end of it, she was looking down at their hands joined together, the other by her side now with the paper dropping to the floor, breathing hard. She relaxed her shoulders and braved looking up at Villanelle to notice a tear rolling down her cheek. Eve panicked and reached up to wipe her face, cupping her cheek gently, throwing the traditional rules out of the window. She wanted to console her bride.

“Oh, I’m sorry, that wasn’t meant to make you cry.” Now she was welling up, too. She turned her head around the room and apart from Irina, who was frowning, it seemed she had made the whole room cry. Even Konstantin was patting his eyes with a tissue. She felt two arms reach around her and pull her into a crushing hug as she threw her arms around Villanelle, also. They swayed in each other’s arms for a moment, almost forgetting that they were in a room full of people and held each other tightly.

“Well, do you have anything to add?” The minister turned to Villanelle. He was obviously struggling with what name to use for her as Eve had used ‘Villanelle,’ which the town assumed was just a pet name for her.

“What can I add to that? I don’t think anyone could top that. You’ve always been very good at speeches even though most of them are spur of the moment, as you call them.” Villanelle took Eve’s hands again as they pulled apart. She knew exactly what Villanelle was alluding to.

“I just wanted to say that I am so excited to love you as my wife forever and that I will forever laugh at your bad jokes and steal the food that you love, too. I also want to say that you need to rely on me, also and not be grumpy about it because we know that sometimes you can be. I also want to thank you because you have been the only person in my life who has come to me just because they heard that I was sad. I admired you before and was attracted to you, yes, but when I realised you had given up your life just to see if I was okay and planned a whole holiday for me even though you were also going through it, that was when I fell completely in love with you…”

“Thank you, Villanelle.”

Villanelle leant over to where Irina was sitting and gestured at her to pass something. Irina plucked a small box from the bouquet and handed it to her. Villanelle took the lid off to show two white gold rings with an aqua gemstone set in the middle of each one. Eve was instantly reminded of the walls of the hotel room in Minsk that had been painted the same colour, but also realised that it matched their something blue, after all. Villanelle took the ring meant for Eve out of the box and slipped it onto her ring finger with ease. She wondered if Villanelle had measured her fingers in her sleep, or something. Villanelle placed the box in Eve’s hand and Eve took the other ring to place on Villanelle’s finger. She admired it, also.

“Well, you may finally kiss your bride! The both of you can decide who is actually starting it.” The minister announced and the audience was on their feet again, clapping, throwing confetti and cheering as Villanelle and Eve shared their first kiss as wives.

After a brief intermission where the pair of them had steadied their emotions and cleaned up stray makeup, Konstantin had ushered them outside for photos as he had only been able to take a few ‘before Eve’s speech distracted him,’ as he put it in his words. The others were still inside cleaning up, ready for the afterparty. 

Konstantin was like a proud but slightly annoying father, moving the pair of them about in different poses that they both humoured him for as he snapped away, taking many different pictures that would probably end up in their scrapbook or in photo frames around the house. He had definitely got softer and less indifferent towards them in his older age and treated the pair of them like two additional daughters.

Once he was done with the photos, - including persuading an attendee to use the camera to take some photos of the four of them together - beaming at the camera, he and Irina went inside to help set up, leaving Eve and Villanelle outside on their own for a few moments.

“I have a gift for you, too.” Eve started. She knew this would be one of the only proper moments they would get together before the main party started and she wanted to surprise her with this. She took the box out of the bouquet and rested the bouquet on the floor next to the wall.

“What is it? I thought we were not doing gifts.” Villanelle asked her but Eve could see the sparkle of excitement in her eyes and the little shift in her pose. Eve held up her hand with the ring on it.

“Not doing gifts, are we?” She laughed. 

“Something blue. It also reminds me a lot of here and summer which is something I will always associate with you, now.” Villanelle explained and Eve touched the ring. She had once again, got the wrong end of the stick with her slightly more lewd thoughts.

“Oh, I thought…” She trailed off. Would it be a good idea to really tell Villanelle what she thought the colour reminded her of?

“Tell me.” Eve must have been blushing because Villanelle was smirking.

“The walls of the hotel in Minsk…”

“Eve.” It was a scandalised tease and Eve quickly opened the box before Villanelle could take the thought and run with it. Inside were two friendship necklaces engraved with flowers and hearts. Eve had chosen not to get the ‘best friends’ design on it because at this point, they were way more than just friends. Villanelle scooped out the half of the necklace that was traditionally Eve’s side and admired it.

“The others were basically green and these are real white gold so they won’t go as funny as the cheap metal. It’s also a unique design so the hearts won’t match up with any other necklace. I missed the other one and I thought this would be something to remember everything by.”

Villanelle unclasped the necklace and put it on Eve, doing it up with ease even though she was putting it on backwards. She moved the pendant to align with the lowest point and traced her finger over it.

“I love it. I love you.”

Eve took the other necklace out of the box and tucked the box into the pocket along with her vow speech. Villanelle turned around and she brushed her hair out of the way to clasp the necklace around her neck. She leant down and wrapped her arms around Villanelle’s waist and kissed her shoulder, pulling her close. She heard Villanelle’s breath catch in her throat.

“I love you too, Villanelle.” She held up the pendant and moved it towards Villanelle. She also got the hint and joined hers with Eve. The jagged, uneven edges fit together perfectly.

They kissed again, Eve stepping back as Villanelle put her hand on Eve’s cheek. She felt her back bump against the wall as Villanelle snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her against her. Eve gasped and Villanelle used that to her advantage to deepen their kiss, rubbing her thumb against Eve’s cheek. Eve’s hands were gliding against Villanelle’s back and as she reached for her hair, she accidentally knocked Villanelle’s veil off centre but she was sure her headpiece was also falling from her head, too.

The pair of them broke away, chests heaving. When Eve opened her eyes, she saw Villanelle with her veil tilted and hanging down her arm, faint pink cheeks and lips adorned with the mauve tones of Eve’s lipstick. It made her laugh as she reached up to fix Villanelle’s veil, with Villanelle leaning down to make it easier for her to sort it. 

“Lipstick.” She said to Villanelle through giggles. Villanelle wiped at her lips with her hands but there were still remnants of Eve’s lipstick on the corner of her lips. Eve reached up to wipe it away with her thumb.

“It’s okay. They’ll expect it from us anyway.” Villanelle said, leaning an arm against the wall above where Eve was standing. They found themselves in this position from time to time but it usually was followed by some giggles and a hand pulling the other upstairs. Eve was looking up at her with parted lips and dark eyes and she knew that the party was going to be a task to get through.

“I want you, my wife.” Villanelle broke the charged silence between them. Eve swallowed as Villanelle moved her hair from her neck and started kissing down her neck. Eve masked a moan with a laugh and put her hands on Villanelle’s shoulders to edge her away.

“I want you, too, my wife. But we should go inside. They’ll be waiting for us.” Eve kissed her briefly as Villanelle stuck her lip out in an overdramatic sulk.

They picked up their bouquets and headed back inside, hands loosely twined with each other’s. They came back to another cheer when they opened the door and Eve noticed that a microphone had replaced where the minister was standing and the chairs and tables had been scattered around the room to give the guests an area to dance. A lot more bottles of alcohol were opened now, with each guest holding a glass of cheap prosecco. 

“Eve, Elle! We thought you’d gone back home, we were taking bets!” Dorothea’s husband was walking towards them with two glasses. They took them with a smile.

“You’ve all put so much effort in, we’ll be the last to leave. Thank you.” Eve said.

“No you will not. You haven’t seen our parties, yet,” replied the husband. Eve cast her mind back to Christmas, watching everyone leave the hall at five in the morning and head straight to work. They definitely would not be the last ones standing, especially not with the way Villanelle was subtly but also openly gripping her arse every now and then.

“You can knock that off.” She hissed to Villanelle once he had walked away. Villanelle just chuckled.

“Just appreciating respectfully.” Villanelle mused.

There was a piercing ring that shot through the crowd as everyone looked towards where the microphone was, wincing and covering their ears. Konstantin was tweaking it, looking baffled before Irina stormed the stage herself, snatching it off him to fix it before throwing it back in his hands. She walked away and took her seat next a familiar looking young boy.

“Wait, is that?” Eve asked, tapping Villanelle rapidly. The chances were absolutely slim and his face seemed a little more chiselled, but that bowl cut and puppy dog expression that ran in the family was unmistakable. Villanelle just took her hand and nodded.

“Yes, it’s Bor’ka. Apparently after our time in the bus station he had been trying his absolute hardest to find us again. He recognised you from some of the photos from the bakery and had saved some of the money I gave him. Proper contender for military intelligence, Pyotr sent a card with him. He came to see me this morning and we spoke quite a bit. Irina seems quite taken with him.” Villanelle explained. He had noticed the pair of them standing at him and raised his hand with a small wave.

“So you weren’t on your own this morning?”

“For most of it I only had Konstantin. People did stop in and out from time to time, but he was waiting downstairs. Konstantin offered to let him walk me down the aisle but I wanted him to do it. As much as he’s a massive dickhead, I would be rotting in a Russian prison or already dead and not marrying a hot intelligence agent.”

Eve put her glass on a nearby chair and wrapped her arms around Villanelle’s neck and kissed her again. Villanelle rested her arm around Eve’s waist.

“Okay, okay. Thank you to my lovely daughter for fixing this thing for me because I’m not very good at technology.” Konstantin had started speaking, drink in hand. Still holding onto each other, the couple looked towards Konstantin.

“Anyway, I suppose I have to make a bit of a speech. Irina shoved me up here. I just wanted to congratulate my, uh, my nieces on their wedding. They treat me well, even if they do stress me out a lot of the time. I am glad I have them in my life and I am glad that I can take a bit of responsibility in bringing the two of them together.” 

Eve held up her glass and Villanelle joined her. Konstantin replicated the movement and the other residents joined in, touching their glasses together and clapping.

“He’s got a bit of a cheek.” Eve said.

“Well, if it wasn’t for him looting a bunch of criminal’s bank accounts we would have never been able to afford our little holiday. Or here.”

“True. To Konstantin, then!” Eve said and they joined their glasses together as Konstantin tapped the mic again and almost deafened then all.

“Somebody needs to confiscate that thing.” Villanelle whispered to her just as Eve was taking a sip of her drink and she spluttered.

“I have been told I have to announce the first dance. I got to hear these songs when they danced the first time and I’m happy to see it again. Irina!”

Konstantin walked over to them and took the glasses to put them on the table next to their flowers. He took each of their wrists and joined their hands together, leading them to the middle of the room as Irina stood by the speakers. The music started playing, the familiar piano tunes of the song Eve had picked in the ballroom all that time ago. Konstantin backed into the crowd as Eve placed a hand on Villanelle’s shoulder and closed her eyes.

They had chosen the same song because of the fond memories it carried and it still very much held the same truth behind it from when Eve picked it out as their first dance. Once Eve had physically healed from her wound, now just a neat line that mirrored Villanelle’s, they had spoken about the ballroom. Villanelle had told her everything that happened through her eyes after the fifth time Eve had shaken her awake from a screaming nightmare. The murders, the night she spent locked up, every single thought that crossed her mind. Eve spoke to her about the conversations Konstantin and her had shared in that makeshift hospital when she had finally come to.

_ “I didn’t know what to do as I saw you hit the floor. It was the crash and Konstantin’s face, he looked like he had been slapped. I thought you were already dead, there was blood soaking through your dress and coming from underneath you. You were completely still. I-I just lost it. I didn’t even think as I ripped apart that first kid with my bare hands and teeth, it was like I was full of anger but still so numb. _

_ Once I had got a knife and taken him and his partner out, I took his gun. The others were easy to take out, then but I just wasn’t satisfied. I wanted to rip their hearts out like that had done with mine. As I cut open one of their chests, Konstantin screamed at me; I mean he legitimately broke his voice screaming at me. You groaned and I knew you were alive and it was like I had been struck across the face. It dawned on me what I had done and I wanted to throw up, faint, shake, everything. I tripped over my dress and scooped you up into my arms as your eyes rolled back. You touched my elbow and then went limp in my arms as we ran to the car. _

_ When we were in the car, you woke up for a few seconds. You barely opened your eyes, gasped and your eyes shut again. I thought you had taken your last breath and swore at Konstantin to go faster. I remember speaking to you in Russian, I’d completely lost myself and forgot that you wouldn’t understand me. I told you that I loved you, pleaded with anyone that I would take your place and said that if you were dead, I wouldn’t let you go alone. Obviously Konstantin heard this and as soon as we reached the hospital he snatched you out of my arms and two doctors grabbed me and locked me in a room. They took the laces out of my shoes and removed my earrings and shoved a needle into me to sedate me.” _

_ “I heard the Russian. I remember you talking to me. I felt a tear drip on my face.” Eve had fallen against her in the bed. They were both crying and holding each other. _

_ “You would have only heard the ‘I love you.’ It was a waterfall by the time I was signing my life away.” _

_ “What happened in the room?” Eve had asked her as she kissed her forehead. Villanelle had held her tightly. _

_ “Nobody came for me. I paced for six hours throwing myself from wall to bed to door, trying to listen. Sometimes I cried and screamed until I couldn’t breathe and sometimes I zoned out, laying on the floor. I don’t think I slept. Then Konstantin opened the door and I pushed him out of the way before I even looked at him. I heard you groan and I was so overwhelmed by relief and yet so scared at the same time that I had to cling to the walls to get to you. I knew I had to be strong though, to help you. That’s probably why I got a little possessive, though. I’m sorry.” _

_ “I think that’s why you’ve been having these nightmares. We never got to process what happened.” _

_ “Yeah, I think you’re right. At least it is just a nightmare though and every morning I wake up to you. We have all the time in the world right now.” _

They swayed to the music unevenly, it had been the first time the two of them had danced together since the ballroom in that way, just the two of them. Eve had her eyes shut and had her face leaning against Villanelle’s shoulder. Villanelle had a firm arm on Eve’s back, pulling her closer and closer into her. Eve worried about stepping on Villanelle’s dress, their movements were clunky but soft.

Eve’s gaze often travelled to the door, to the audience, to everyone watching. She inspected their arms, their hands, any suspicious poses and bumps in clothes. Every time the wind knocked against the door, her eyes were there. It was as if she was waiting for the inevitable.

“Eve. Nobody is coming. Please try to relax.” Villanelle murmured into her ears. Eve buried her head into her shoulder, her heart racing. Villanelle was right. Nobody had disturbed them for the past two years but even so, she struggled to chase the thoughts away.

As the song ended, Villanelle dipped Eve back, as if to kiss her. She hung her head and Eve noticed a droplet fall on the fabric of the dress, making it dark. It was not the first time today that either of them had become overwhelmed by emotion.

“Villanelle? What’s wrong?” She asked her, quietly.

“The last time I held you like this you were…” Villanelle’s voice was cut off with a sniffle. Eve jumped up from her arms and threw hers around Villanelle’s neck, dress twirling from the action and pulled her head closer, kissing her on the head, the cheek, anything to push those awful memories from her mind.

To anybody else, they would have just looked like a loved up couple. To them, they knew that this meant so much more. It was a celebration of everything they had pushed through to get here today. A celebration of love, family and most of all, safety. They had made it.

Apart from their breaths, the room had gone quiet again. They were pressed against each other, blocking out the surroundings and disgusting their quiet sniffs and weeping from the rest of the crowd. Eve relished in the fact that the entire village knew them as “the loved up lesbians,” as Dorothea once told them - although Eve had tried to correct her multiple times - and hoped that they were playing into that now, or at least that their neighbours had the dignity to ignore their behaviour. 

The next song started playing, the same synth piano that had started this whole journey and it ripped away the sadness between the couple. Everybody had started singing and Eve could hear the clattering of chairs and tables as everyone headed to the area to dance. She felt fingers on her chin as Villanelle pulled her face up with a smile and Eve giggled, nuzzling her face into Villanelle’s chest.

Everybody was dancing around them but the two of them took the chance to just watch, this time around. Bor’ka had taken centre stage and grabbed the microphone, singing while people clapped along, dancing and shaking his hips. Irina was beside him on stage, shimmying a little, hiding her face whenever Bor’ka got a too close but Eve could see the pull of a smile underneath her hand.

“Irina will be vying for your bouquet.” Eve commented.

“And Konstantin will be vying for yours.” Villanelle repeated her words and pointed over to where Konstantin was dancing with a lady in a suit and cropped hair. They could only see the back of her as she pulled him away from the crowd.

“She doesn’t look familiar. I’ve never seen her here before.” Eve gripped onto Villanelle’s dress protectively. She seemed too smartly dressed and unfamiliar to the other residents, also.

“You will know who she is when you see her face. She is safe. We are safe.”

Villanelle and Eve joined in with the singing and dancing, although spent most of it re-enacting the concert they had shared their first kiss at. They definitely heard someone telling them to get a room and Villanelle playfully held up her middle finger as she pulled Eve in for one final kiss.

After some mingling and small talk, both together and apart, Eve excused herself to the bathroom to fix her makeup and to have a moment alone. She locked the main bathroom door and stared at herself in the mirror. Her lips were a little pinker from Villanelle’s affections and some of her eye makeup had slipped down her face. She patted it with a tissue to break it away and her gaze slipped down to her necklace. She twined it beneath her fingers.

_ Who would have thought that the day you won that piece of cheap jewellery would lead you here? _

Eve smiled at herself in the mirror and brought the pendant to her lips. Deep down, she knew it would have, somehow.

As she left the bathroom, Villanelle was walking up the hallway. She waved to her and Villanelle stopped in front of her.

“I was looking for you. Konstantin wants to speak with you.”

“What does he want?”

“Probably to make sure that you’re okay. He’s been checking in with me a lot, too. He’s on the balcony.”

“Okay.” Eve went to walk off until she felt hands on her shoulders and herself pinned against the wall. Villanelle’s mouth was at her ear.

“Can we go home now?” She asked Eve, a hand trailing down her dress. Her whisper and the fingers dancing over her chest went straight through her and made Eve’s thighs shake. Villanelle kissed up her collarbone, her neck until she reached Eve’s lips, capturing them in a passionate kiss. Eve’s hands went to her chest, one cupping her breast and brushing the appliqué pattern. She moaned into Villanelle’s mouth and planted a kiss to her cheek before turning her head to the side, away from Villanelle’s roaming lips.

“Lipstick again. It’s not even dusk yet, we have to stay until the sun has gone down.” Eve scolded her, jokingly. Villanelle pulled away with a whine.

“I’m going to fuck you in that dress, tonight.” Villanelle said before heading off to the bathroom. The words and the accompanying reaction her body had almost made her dizzy.

Eve had to brace herself against the wall as she pressed her legs together to subdue the build of arousal already present inside her. She swallowed hard and bit her lip to quieten her soft whimpers. It would be very hard to make it until sundown and she wondered who exactly would be pulling the other out of the hall first.

Once Eve returned to the main hall, she glanced over at the open double doors of the balcony. Konstantin was out there with Irina, so she decided to leave him be for now and grab another drink. She picked up a beer from the table and knocked it against the edge to dislodge the lid, pulling it off with her teeth.

“You know, Eve, it’s not often I attend someone’s wedding after their funeral.” A voice said behind her. She spun around on her heel to see the same cropped haircut and trousers Konstantin was dancing with.

“Carolyn. How did you-“

“Konstantin. He rang in some favours and I wanted to see if it was true. You do make quite a...lovely couple, if I do say so.” Her voice sounded strained, distant as usual but Eve detected the hint of sadness. Was she jealous? Eve took a mouthful of beer.

“What do you mean, funeral?” She asked Carolyn.

“You swapped your number with one of the teachers and never picked up. They reported you missing three days later and the police were preparing to create a national campaign due to the circumstances.”

“Circumstances?”

“You went missing after your husband’s wake in which you were apparently defensive and solitary. After we caught wind of it, we followed some CCTV that showed you talking to Konstantin, so I got in contact as an old friend. We feared the worst but he begged for us to make it look like you died.”

“Feared the worst? Oh, so you know.”

“The Twelve have had their eye on you for months. That was why you were off our books, it was too much of a liability but I didn’t want you to fall to them. They can be quite persuasive, especially when we noticed that you had developed...certain feelings towards one of their staff, although those feelings were incredibly useful to us, too. That’s why I struck up a deal with Kenny’s firm so you could still investigate. They were all in on it.”

Eve looked down at her drink. She wondered who had not actually been using her for her connections to Villanelle and The Twelve and as she saw the white tulle pass her, dancing with one of the teachers, she knew she had made the right choice. Villanelle had been the only person to see not just her mind, but her heart and soul, too. She wanted to be annoyed at Carolyn but it was just confirmation that Eve had found her soulmate, in a way.

“How many packets of Tangfastics did Bear demand?” Eve smiled at the memory, trying to lighten the mood a little. They were brief friends but she had warmed to him over their short time together, even if he was just using her for a more thrilling article.

“He has an allowance.” Carolyn said, completely serious.

“So how did I die, then?” Eve was curious. She knew that MI6 favoured the suicide route, but she wanted a bit of backstory. She craved to know how many people actually showed up to her funeral.

“Suicide. It’s the standard and you had the perfect set up for it. You were remembered as the mourning wife who just couldn’t take it.”

Eve downed her drink and slammed it down. Even now, Niko had been used as a crutch, a cover for her own ambiguous behaviour and she hated it. Anybody who knew her knew that she would never be so dependent on someone that she could not live without them. Carolyn looked at her, frowning at her obviously furious expression.

“What? It’s just standard practice, Eve. Or should I call you Evelyn, now?” She sneered. Eve really hated the name that Konstantin had given her even though it was just a few extra letters.

“Eve is fine. Who came to the funeral?” She asked, hopefully. Surely somebody cared about her more than just for her abilities.

“Elena was inconsolable, Hugo made it but didn’t speak to anyone. The bitter pill team were there as well as one of Niko’s colleagues. Jacqueline?”

Eve thought of the woman who had taken her outside for a cigarette and tried her damned hardest to bring Eve into the crowd. She would have made a firm friend.  _ Maybe in another life. _ She felt guilty about Elena, she had not texted her for a while before she ‘died’ and was surprised to hear that Hugo still cared for her. Maybe he was just after another threesome. She had told the story to Villanelle some time ago after they had finally discussed Rome, in the bath. Luckily Villanelle was entertained rather than angry and it led to quite a dominating Villanelle in bed, which Eve realised that actually submitting to her was more fun than she first realised.

“She was nice.” Eve trailed off, scratching the memory of Villanelle holding her down from her mind for fear that she would drag her out of the hall there and then. They both said nothing and watched the crowds as Irina came in through the doors and gestured towards Eve. Carolyn took the opportunity to leave.

“It was nice to see you, Eve.” Carolyn was out of the door in moments and Eve wondered if she would ever see her again. She never truly understood how she felt about that mysterious, incredible and very selfish woman.

She made her way to the balcony, taking another drink with her. Konstantin was out there alone, elbows on the railing, gazing out at the green fields of the village, blooming with crops and flowers. The breeze was relaxing and a relief after spending most of the day inside and the sun was finally beginning to dip behind the rolling hills. The day had passed in a flash, even as she tried to savour every moment. Konstantin turned to face her, sipping from a cup.

“I think I should probably cut myself off after this one. I’m feeling a little light headed.” He said to her. She chuckled and took a sip of her drink.

“Yeah, same. I got so drunk at my first wedding and was too hungover to even do anything but sleep when we got home. It wasn’t so much carrying me over the threshold, more so carrying me because I could barely walk. Says it all, really.”

“The village will be very hungover tomorrow.” 

“Yeah…”

They drank in silence, watching everybody through the doors. Laughter, happiness, clumsy dancing, singing. It was everything Eve loved to surround herself with, but she found it difficult to immerse into it.

“How are you?” Konstantin asked her. It was the first time somebody had checked in with her all night.

“Um, yeah.” Eve struggled to find the words. Hopelessly in love, filled with optimism, anxious, fearful, unsettled, safe. Overwhelmed.

“I saw how you two were with the first dance. The memories are painful but they are just that. Memories. Don’t let the bad cut out the good, but don’t forget about the warnings the bad give you, either.”

Eve sighed. Konstantin put his hand on hers as a brief moment of comfort. He had always been the support for her and oddly, the glue of their makeshift family unit. She remembered the one serious argument she had with Villanelle about six months into their relationship. It was something petty, about Villanelle being too protective after she was struggling with a few lingering pains from her injury. Villanelle had walked out with a bag and said something she had not truly listened to, but she picked out the words “I won’t protect you” “see if I care” “if The Twelve come for you,” and as soon as she walked out, she had dropped on the sofa, wailing.

Konstantin had found her a few minutes later when he came in from the garden, probably after noticing Villanelle walking off. He sat down next to her in his awkward way and put his hand on her head. She shifted up and threw herself at him, sobbing noisily into her chest. She remembered feeling him tense but he took her into a bear hug nonetheless and held her until she had quietened down. She had offered her apologies when she noticed the wet patch on his shoulder and the embarrassment she felt. He waved it off and got her a blanket as Irina slid a plate of cookies she had burnt a little across the table to Eve.

Villanelle had returned later that evening, and Konstantin had pointed to a puffy faced, exhausted Eve cocooned in a blanket and decided to take Irina on a late night drive. They never quite had arguments as explosive as that again, but whenever things got a little tough or she felt too dependant on Villanelle, he was always there for slightly more distant and strained comfort. He swapped relationship tips for tips on how to deal with young girls, such as the time Eve talked him out of panicking about Irina’s health because of her monthly stomach cramps and mood swings. He learned quickly to bring chocolate for her and hide.

“Eve?” Konstantin was staring at her. She shook her head.

“Sorry. Just memories.”

“What this time?”

“Remember that really big argument Villanelle and I had about six months after we got here?”

“I do. I never quite got the makeup out of that shirt. It makes a very good gardening shirt, now.”

“I’m sorry.” Eve laughed. She was only a little bit apologetic. Her eyes were turned back to the room where she noticed Irina and Villanelle dancing, twirling together to some eighties pop. They were throwing each other about a little. They truly did look like sisters in their mannerisms.

“Sometimes I wonder if I only have one daughter.” Konstantin said. He was also watching them dance, Villanelle picking up Irina and spinning her around while she grimaced.

“You have done a lot for me, for us, Konstantin. I don’t think I’ve thanked you properly. I’m sorry for being so suspicious of you.” Eve said. Konstantin put an arm around Eve and she hugged him.

“You are family. You have helped me out more than I think you understand.” He said to her and then moved away. The song had finished and Villanelle was heading towards the doors. Konstantin and Villanelle passed each other with a nod as he headed back in.

“The sun is going down, Eve.” Villanelle said to her, working the bottle out of her fingers to take a drink herself. Eve did not say anything and just gave her a look.

“What? Everyone here knows that’s what we’ll be doing tonight. Besides, I think everybody is too drunk to notice that we’d be gone. We could just slip out.” Villanelle’s arm went from Eve’s waist to her arse again, pinching it, pulling it closer.

“Stop tempting me. We should at least say some goodbyes before we go.” Eve kissed her quickly on the lips and was about to pull Villanelle back into the room to say their goodbyes when a familiar violin track echoed through the hall.

“Is that?” Eve asked Villanelle. She nodded.

“Yes. Konstantin’s song. It sounds slightly different. Probably the vocal version.”

“Is he?” Eve’s eyes widened with excitement. They had often caught Konstantin singing to himself while tending to the plants, or singing lullabies to his beloved chickens, or humming as he drove. It always warmed her heart and was quite hilarious to see that behind the ferocious and cold Russian bear was a soft teddy. The shrill sound of a mishandled microphone gave it away.

“Yep. Probably had a lot of vodka. Seems he’s going to put on a show.”

Eve grabbed Villanelle’s hand and pulled her to the hall again, pushing their way through the chattering crowds who were watching Konstantin stagger his way onto the stage and tap the microphone.

“We can go home after this. We are absolutely not missing this.” Eve demanded. Villanelle rolled her eyes as everyone formed a circle and Konstantin started humming the song in a husky voice. By the end of the song, everyone was in a circle, clapping along, kicking. Couples were leading each other out into the middle of the circle and twirling while everyone cheered along. Bor’ka even persuaded Irina to take his hand and she obliged for a few seconds until one of the residents chanted and she snapped her hand away and hid back into the confines of the crowd. Eve, still holding Villanelle’s hand pulled her through the crowd to Irina.

“Your dad is quite a singer.” She said to her, taking her hand, too, swaying with them both. Irina kept looking over at Bor’ka but would quickly turn away as soon as they made eye contact.

“You interested?” Eve asked her. Irina shook her head.

“He’s nice. Everyone keeps making a big deal. I want to be his friend. There’s nobody here my age.”

“Ignore them! Go and dance with him. It doesn’t have to mean anything.” Eve reassured her and Irina approached him, tapping on his shoulder. Villanelle snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her close and out of the crowd. Eve squeaked in surprise and almost stumbled over her feet.

“Do you think there’s something going on there?” Villanelle asked her.

“No. I think they just want to have fun. Not everything has to be about that. I think it was the same with Konstantin.”

“Sort of. He invited her as a gesture of kindness and because she wanted to see you alive. She would never leave her position, he told me. He’s happy as he is.”

They watched Konstantin step off the stage as many of the residents took his arms and the music began to play again. It was like watching a clumsy conga line, barely any of them were dancing straight anymore. Irina and Bor’ka had sat down, she was intently listening to him and he looked as if he was on an impassioned rant about something.

“Bet it’s Elton John.” Villanelle said.

“It’s always Elton John. You know, I think Irina’s actually quite a shy person.” Eve said.

“Yes. Puts on an act but hides behind it, too. Maybe that’s why we’re so similar.”

“One more dance?” Eve suggested.

“Fine. One”

One more dance turned into three more hours and it was close to midnight. The pair of them were sitting down and Eve was lulling against Villanelle. Some of the guests had left and the others were slow dancing. A lot of them had swapped their drinks for water now, the usual early start of the village finally dawning on them. Eve’s eyes were heavy. She knew that they needed to leave soon otherwise she would be too exhausted for their wedding night. She slapped Villanelle’s thigh to wake her up, too.

“Come on. Let’s go.”

They said their goodbyes and slipped out quietly, hand in hand as they walked back to their house slowly. Eve took a deep breath. The cool air felt glorious against her skin and the one thing that she had fallen in love with in the village - apart from Villanelle, of course - was the lack of light pollution. It made the stars so much more visible and they covered the night sky like a blanket of colours. She stopped to admire them and their hands almost separated, only joined loosely by their fingers.

“Are you alright?” Villanelle asked her.

“Yeah.” Eve started walking slowly again, eyes still transfixed on the stars.

“We don’t have to…”

“No! No. I want to. I just wanted, well, I wanted a moment.” Eve shut down Villanelle’s concerns quickly. She most definitely did not want to skip out on the activities they had planned for the evening. Not after Villanelle had pinned her to the wall and hissed in her ear.

“What’s on your mind?” Villanelle took both of Eve’s hands in hers.

“Just thinking about how far we’ve come since that first car ride where you wouldn’t even talk to me. We never quite made it to the beach, did we.” Eve chuckled.

“Well, there’s always a honeymoon if you want to go back to England for a little while.”

“I think I quite like it here, actually.”

“Me too.”

“Will you kiss me?” Eve leaned into her and closed her eyes. Villanelle’s hand was on her cheek, moving her face up and she felt gentle lips on hers, briefly. They pulled away and their gaze lingered on each other’s face.

“I love you.” Eve and Villanelle both spoke at the same time and then were overcome by a fit of giggles at the irony of it all.

As they walked home underneath the summer stars, hands intertwined, Eve looked back one last time and saw Konstantin watching them from the balcony, again. She gave him a small wave. Taking on his task, babysitting Villanelle’s grief was one that she would always be thankful for, because she had never felt more alive, more in love and more connected with someone. She had finally found her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> continuing on with the lack of laptop, phone writers, I do salute you. Please let me know if there are any typos, the amount of time I wrote “Konstantin,” as “monstantin” haha
> 
> This is the last chapter of Eve/Villanelle, the last chapter is an outsider perspective on the whole situation. Although, for those who feel a little cheated out of a certain wedding night scene, I would keep an eye out because I’m not quite done with the Babysitting Grief universe yet!
> 
> For those who do decide to tap out now, I just want to thank you for everything. All of the support has been immense and I’m so, so grateful.
> 
> I also brought back my twitter, at @uncreativeelle. I have some content I cut out of this chapter so I might post it there as well as hints towards next projects, etc. Come and hang out!
> 
> Again, thank you for everything. Thank you, thank you, thank you.


	25. I kind of like my crazy, in love lesbian aunts.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Eve and Villanelle consummate their wedding night, Irina and Konstantin find themselves watching the sunrise in the garden. Konstantin finally explains why.

The wedding had finished sometime after two in the morning. Konstantin and Irina ushered the last of the guests home and equipped with a roll of bin bags and some Tupperware they had retrieved quickly from their house, they had the hall tidied up in half an hour with the help of some of the more sober residents. Each resident split the food equally before saying their goodbyes and heading home, balancing too many pies and vol-au-vents in boxes in their arms.

“What exactly should we do? Going back home might be a little awkward.” Irina asked Konstantin as they approached the street of their little house. Konstantin laughed, he had got the audio of the show, of Villanelle and Eve’s wedding night as he had returned the first time to pick up some cleaning supplies. He had hastily grabbed a little too much of what he needed and headed out without creating noise. They had debated booking them a hotel as a surprise but they needed the money and the only place local was a hostel with dorms. Not exactly the honeymoon suite they had in Minsk.

“I will run these inside and heat up some of the pies. Maybe we can spend an evening looking at the stars. It has been a while since we went on a drive.” Konstantin suggested.

“You drank a lot. It’s not a good idea.”

“I didn’t say it right. It has been a while since we went on a drive so maybe we could sit in the garden and look at the stars. Eve fixed that swing seat, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, she did. I helped.” Irina was smiling. Once they had gotten through the gate, she sat down in the garden, putting the boxes she had carried on the porch. Konstantin took a few trips to carry each of the boxes in the house and store them in the fridge. The house was shrouded in silence. Maybe the two of them had got so tired that they had already fallen asleep?

He lived in hope. As he picked out two of the savoury pies and put them in the oven to warm them through, there was the telltale sound of bed springs and a muffled groan, a deeper voice. He hated that he could tell that it was Eve straight away.

Konstantin stood at the back door with a bemused expression, and Irina pressed her lips together, trying to suppress an awkward laugh as she looked down at the floor. Her shoulders were moving, though, a dead giveaway. It set Konstantin off, too.

“You know, when I first picked you up, I told them to be subtle.” Konstantin reminisced. He remembered Eve abiding to it for a little bit, weak protests when Villanelle got too romantic too publicly, but never enough to cut her off. When it came to their bedroom, which Konstantin had purposely allocated them the one the furthest down the hall, they had been respectful. They never made it obvious. However, as they got more used to each other, the occasional slips would become commonplace, with Konstantin reaching for the volume on the TV remote and Irina pulling on a pair of headphones with an eye roll. Sometime down the line, midnight drives and walks to the one shop open in the evenings and in a way, their love became a part of how Konstantin and Irina finally bridged the gap of their tattered familial relationship.

“Ha! That lasted for what, five minutes?” Irina leaned forward on the swing chair, kicking her feet to make it move. She was holding her arms, rubbing them as the wind picked up. Konstantin took off his jacket and threw it over to her, which she caught in one hand.

“Impressive. Put it on so you don’t get cold.” Konstantin said as Irina pulled the jacket over herself. The timer dinged faintly from the inside and Konstantin steeled himself to brace the trip back to the inside of the house. He turned the oven off quickly, scooped the pies into Tupperware and grabbed some cutlery. Could you have tunnel vision for sound, he wondered. He was definitely focusing on Irina’s loud laughter from the outside.

“Jesus.” He said to himself as he sat down next to Irina and handed her one of the boxes. He put his head into his hand.

“We should have booked them a hotel.” He finally said as Irina was shovelling down some of the pie. She nodded, her mouth full, her cheeks somewhat similar to a hamster’s.

“It doesn’t bother you, does it?” Konstantin asked her, more serious this time. It was rare they had to stomach anything too close to the line - a wedding night he could forgive - and although he had warmed to Villanelle and then to her Eve, he brought Irina here to make her feel comfortable. She was his priority, he had done the majority of this for her. Eve and Villanelle, while he held them close and they had become family, he had not brought them along just so they could develop a relationship. However, Eve especially knew his ulterior motives well and understood them and they shared a mutual understanding that she was using him too, in the beginning, anyway.

“No. It is different to what my mother shared with her partner, they seem genuine and normal, sort of. It is hard to imagine one of them without the other.”

“Normal? That is the last word I would use to describe those two. Even before they got together they were obsessed with each other.” Konstantin chuckled, taking another forkful of pie. He was not quite sure what meat there was in it, some sort of dark meat, but it was lightly spiced and the pastry was buttery and flaky. Made with love, as some would call it.

“Matching scars. Very romantic.”

“You are lucky. You are the only one who doesn’t have a mark from Villanelle.” Konstantin touched his chest. Some years ago, Irina had watched Villanelle shoot him as part of her job. That was when he knew he was too wrapped up in a lie to ever walk away from The Twelve safely. He had a plan for Villanelle even back then, in Rome, but her mutual obsession with Eve had been the thing to put the nail in the coffin there, and he also used it to ruin her escape with Dasha. He saw Irina looking at where his hand was and quickly picked up his fork again.

“Maybe not physically…” She mused but trailed off. Konstantin sighed and put his arm around her, giving her an affectionate squeeze briefly.

“It is all in the past. The Villanelle we have up there is quite different, now.” Konstantin reassured her. Irina looked ahead with a small smile, clearly recounting a memory that she held fondly.

“Until the festival rolls around and there are prizes to be won. She is ruthless, then.”

“Eve sent me a picture of their winnings at the fair that was the first stop on their trip. The entire backseat of their car was covered in fluffy toys.”

“You never told me anything about that road trip in the end, did you? I suppose after everything, nobody wanted to talk about it.”

Konstantin had waited for this question. He had sat down with a story prepped on the first day they had stepped foot in their new house, but Eve had succumbed to exhaustion, Villanelle was focused on her and even Irina who had joined the whole adventure late had not wanted to hear it and picked a movie out for the two of them to watch instead. He often listened as conversation teetered very close to the topic with the explanation he had tweaked over the years but usually Eve had stepped in or Villanelle challenged her to a game of something. He knew that Eve and Irina had discussed her side of the trip while they gardened together and lingered to listen to what she said, but the big secret behind The Twelve had never come out. Eve usually spoke about the actions that her and Villanelle had taken throughout the trip.

“Finish your pie. We have time now. I will answer everything you want.”

Irina paused after she had taken her last bite.

“Is there cake?” She asked innocently. Konstantin got up with a smile and ventured back into the house to retrieve some of the leftover desserts for Irina. The lovers were in full flow now, and he almost ran out of the house once he had got the goods. Almost.

“It’s a good thing Eve works at the bakery and can bring home lots of food. Your sweet tooth is hard to keep up with.” Konstantin handed her the cake, opting for just some water for himself. Irina continued stuffing her face.

“Maybe I should work there.” She said with her mouth full.

“Don’t you like the tutoring?” Konstantin asked. She had become a valuable asset in the school according to the teachers and they were organising funds to help send her off to university if she chose to pursue that career path. Not that they needed it, Konstantin had an identity mapped up and a stack of cash for her to pursue whatever she wanted, wherever she wanted. It was probably wise that he did inform her of the tale so she would be aware of sneaky Twelve recruits after all.

“I do. The kids are nice. Are you stalling?” Irina asked him. He had not been intentionally but she was smart and nothing had slipped past her. Konstantin shook his head.

“Not at all. What would you like to know?”

“Tell it like a story. I want to know as much as we have time for.” She said. Ever the curious girl even as she grew up, which Konstantin admired.

“Well, as the tale goes, I got myself in some shit by double crossing the organisations that I worked for…” Konstantin started, Irina smirked.

“Obviously. What did you do?”

“I got Villanelle to perform a kill off the record. Turns out it was quite frowned upon. She was being manipulated by another handler, a person who deals with the assassins. She was telling Villanelle that she would get her a promotion to keep her performing jobs when it was an empty promise. Villanelle had been pressuring me about her family, too, so I made her a deal. I was hoping that sending Villanelle to find her family would provide some closure and to tell her that they were shit. Then she could keep her eye on the job until we were able to get out. It went...very wrong. She blew up her family home and the kill I authorised put me on a hit list, I knew they knew it was me. I had created one hell of a mess.”

“Sounds it.” Irina was still eating. Konstantin scanned her expression for any hint of a reaction but it was flat, apart from curious eyes. It amused Konstantin, how unsurprised his daughter was at his shady activities. It seemed that only he thought he was subtle after all.

“Dasha, the woman I had mentioned had also attacked Eve’s husband to blame it on Villanelle. He died.”

“What did she do?”

“Pitchfork through the neck. If he had survived that it would have been beyond a miracle. Eve watched the whole thing, she had been lured there by Dasha pretending to be him and wanting her back.” Konstantin said. Irina’s eyes went wide and the piece of cake on her spoon dropped back onto the plate. 

“Oh, shit.” It was a shocked whisper. She looked concerned for Eve.

“Yeah. So it was safe to say the two of them were…”

“Pretty messed up.”

“Pretty messed up. They were both doing reckless things, Eve had stolen evidence from the police, Villanelle had walked around in public with her mother’s blood staining her clothes. I knew that I would have also become Villanelle’s next job and she would have been unforgiving this time around just to prove that she was okay. So that’s why I managed to catch Eve and got her to pick Villanelle up from the airport. I proved that it wasn’t Villanelle behind her husband’s death, threw in a little bit of a sad story and a whole lot of cash and she took the bait. What you have seen between them is nothing. Their feelings for each other ran deep, even before any of this ever happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“Villanelle went to Eve’s house in a black ball gown thing when she was asked to assassinate her. They knew it was each other just through a hotel door and some breathing. They only ever spoke about each other. If it wasn’t two people trying to kill each other, you would confuse them for teenagers in love.”

“They are like that now, though. Their relationship reads similar to those crappy books I pick up from the library.”

“Yes, maybe. Anyway, I asked Eve to be subtle about trying to get Villanelle away from the area but she had seen some fair or something like that. They stayed in the outskirts of London for a few days doing stuff and I guess it also gave them time for their feelings to develop. It was the first time they had ever spent time together and they both had little to lose, which is what I said to Eve to convince her. While they were off on their dates, I was funnelling money out of a few accounts of The Twelve and had disposed of a few accountants myself. I don’t usually like to get my hands dirty but it was necessary. I also had to keep an eye on exactly who was allowed access to you. That’s why I chose for you to stay in solitary rather than mixing with the other girls.”

“I hated you for that. I still don’t get why you did it.” Irina stabbed the last few bits of cake with some force, scowling a little and not looking at him. Konstantin felt immensely guilty but there was an incredibly good reason as to why.

“I am getting there. The big twist always comes at the end of a story.”

“What do you mean by disposed?” Irina asked. Konstantin had thought he’d gotten away with it but evidently not.

“It was called housekeeping. I had to work there in my first few months before I got made up to be a handler. Villanelle had a slightly different job, she had the big kills to send a message. Most of them were mainly to wipe up small people who knew too much. That’s what we mean by disposed.”

“I figured as much.”

“Then why ask?”

“I guess I wanted you to admit that you were a shady man.”

“We all know that I was. It brought us here, though, so I can’t be too bad!”

Irina, finished with her food, leaned her head against her father playfully. 

“No. You’re not that bad.”

Konstantin ruffled her hair and Irina pulled away with a groan, running her fingers through her curls to try and fix them up.

“I will ignore the ‘that.’ Anyway, they had hung around London too long and had been located. The Twelve were on their way to catch them. I had enough time to tell them to run for their lives until they came for me, too. I managed to throw them off, leaving a false trail suggesting I was going to look for them when I was still hiding in my apartment. I had to hide under the bed. They trashed it and shot through a few things in what I could guess frustration but I honestly thought I would have a heart attack.”

Irina was silent, hunched over. She knew of her father’s heart problems personally and while she was a smart kid, knew the realities of her father’s job, being confronted by the thought of losing her father often made her tense up. There had been many times where she had confided in Konstantin about this and he had always reassured her that he was here, now.

“Hey. Irina. This is all in the past. We are safe now.” Konstantin put his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Irina looked up at him with a small smile to reassure him.

“I know. It still kinda hurts though. What happened next?”

“Villanelle shot at their car to disable it and through some absolutely wild driving from Eve, they made it to the coast. They were lucky that The Twelve did not want to kill them. I doubt they would have gotten away as quickly.”

“They didn’t want to kill them?”

“No. I was the only one on their list with a cross against my name. The three of you, they wanted to recruit you. That’s why I kept you in solitary. I didn’t know who was coming near you that could be involved with The Twelve. Those sort of places are where they harvest their recruits. I did the same with Villanelle. Young, bright girls who have made mistakes and have disrupted lives. They tempt them with money and power. Villanelle spent hers on clothes and good apartments. I could imagine you might be interested in education.”

Irina was silent. Konstantin could see the gears of her mind ticking and realised that even through their strained relationship back then, he knew his daughter well. The lure of education was enticing to her, she was smart, sometimes a little cocky but dangerously sharp. As her father he could subdue her a little but in the hands of criminals, she would have soared far, especially with the absolute indifference she had shown towards murdering someone. If Konstantin had seen her back then, next to Villanelle, she would have made the cut over her, for sure.

“Nobody blames you. It is tempting to have more money than you know what to do with, especially if you had so little to begin with. They would have made you an assassin at first. From what I could understand of their plan, Eve would have been your handler. She was too compromised to take Villanelle but they would have used her to keep Villanelle in check, too. They would have tasked you with taking out me as your first job.”

“I wouldn’t have done it. I would have said no!” Irina shouted. Her passion was heartwarming and brought a smile to his face, but he knew this was Irina at sixteen, who had his undivided attention for two years. Bitter, abandoned, fourteen year old Irina may have had other ideas.

“You would have been silly not to. They would have killed you. Anyway, we are all here and alive now. But, that sort of sums up my intentions and kind of why this whole thing happened. They managed to track them down the same time I found them and that was how Eve got shot. It was not a shoot to kill, I told them he was a new recruit but actually he had been working with them since he was a teenager. He was very good at capturing people they needed and knew exactly how to shoot to disable someone but not to kill them. It went a little wrong with Eve, though. She was already weak from sustaining past injuries as well as poor diet and exhaustion from the trip. The loss of blood affected her a little more and she blacked out. She had taken some muscle damage from the injury and it took her a long while to recover. Probably longer because we dragged her out of a hospital within a day and drove across half of Europe.”

Konstantin had felt awful for Eve as he thought back on the first few days of the trip. There was a lot of arguing on Villanelle’s point too, frustrated that their relationship that had only just bloomed had seemingly come to a halt. There was a fair amount of scolding on his part towards her, trying to persuade her to give Eve a break but as the trip had progressed, he realised that Eve was just as bad as her which actually made him warm to her.

“Why did they want Eve?”

“She might seem a little gullible and impulsive, but she is also hardy and able to figure things out that most would not. She is good with people, even though she does not seem it. She would have started as a handler but would have most likely worked her way up through being an agent herself and then onto a keeper. Her skill with taking people out is less than desirable, but paired with someone like you and also with Villanelle under her thumb, she would have been unstoppable. She had nothing to lose, too. Yes, Eve may have also been hesitant to sign up, but like you she is curious.”

“So basically you did all of this to save your life?” Irina put it bluntly. Konstantin considered his options, he could protest and say that there were a lot of other factors in it also - not untrue - but ultimately, he did this to save his family.

“And yours. You are my family.”

“What about Eve and Villanelle?”

“Ideally, yes. Eve used to annoy me quite a bit but I knew how Villanelle cared for her. If they ever became a problem, I would give them up for you because you are my family.” Konstantin thought he was complimenting Irina but was met with a furious look from her. He raised his eyebrow in shock and backed away from her a little.

“Absolutely not. They are our family too. We can’t leave them behind. I would throw you to the wolves if you tried to give them up too.”

“Really?” Konstantin could not tell if she was being serious. He felt a little hurt that his own daughter would give him up.

“No. But I would be angry if you tried to sacrifice them. Treat us all as equals, we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them.”

“Got it. So, you ended up quite liking them after all. Didn’t you say you didn’t want to come if they were here, too?”

Irina laughed to herself. She stood up and crossed the garden to where the fence was and looked up at the sun, now peaking over the horizon and admired it. She waved to a very hungover man who worked in the same bakery as Eve. He was clutching his head but still staggering across the road, not fully sober yet. Konstantin nodded at him and he raised a weak hand back.

“I was angry. I kind of like my crazy, in love lesbian aunts.” She said with a warm expression, gazing out onto the street with her head in her hands. Konstantin walked over to join her, picking up the cutlery that had been abandoned onto the chair. 

“I kind of like them, too.”

They watched the sunrise together and did a little bit of villager spotting as the town awoke from the party, a little worse for wear. Luckily the family had the day off and some other employers had been kind enough to declare it a holiday, but for many, they swayed across the roads with their bosses, ready to work most likely the morning only as there would be very few people actually venturing out until the sun was down again. Irina clutched the coat around her after a little bit and Konstantin rubbed his arms. The brisk morning air, while nice for a little while, was beginning to get to them as they had sat outside for several hours. Irina’s eyes were flickering shut, too.

“Shall we brave it?” Konstantin asked her. Irina nodded, her eyes full of sleep. He guided her back into the house and it was silent. Safe. He threw the plates into the sink and Irina had her first step on the stairs when they had realised that they had counted their chickens before they had hatched.

“Oh for god’s sake.” Konstantin said at the bumping sounds they could hear from upstairs. He put both of his hands over his head, rubbing his eyes. Irina had put her head on the bannister of the stairs but her shoulders were moving up and down and Konstantin was just relieved that she was amused because he was ready to storm up the stairs and tell them that in no uncertain terms, their wedding night was over.

“How are they not tired?” Irina asked. Konstantin just shook his head.

“Put a movie on. Something with horror, a lot of screaming.” He requested and Irina picked out a tape from their small collection.

“Scream?” She asked, holding it up.

“Yes. Sure. Put it on, turn it up. Hopefully it will get them to knock it off.”

“I doubt it.” She said, but she slipped the tape into the player anyway. The pair of them took a sofa each and pulled the blankets down from the back.

They were dead to the world in seconds, anyway. Not screaming from the TV or the lesbian aunts disturbed their sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, I can’t believe this is complete. What was meant to be a small ficlet or hurt/comfort and me being a bit salty covid meant I couldn’t go to the fair turned into 130k+ worth of words and probably the biggest project I have ever undertaken. I just wanted to say thank you for your patience, your kind messages, everything that you have done for me.
> 
> For those feeling a little letdown at the lack of a post-wedding scene, I would say keep an eye out. I have a little treat coming for you all soon!
> 
> Thank you for everything, everyone and see you soon!
> 
> Or follow me on twitter for nonsensical writing ramblings at @uncreativeelle as well as a few context posts for babysitting grief!
> 
> I have also set up a CC for anybody who wants to ask me any sort of question, trivia, fic related, anything!
> 
> https://curiouscat.qa/uncreativeelle


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